View Full Version : Is it legal?
aj93
Aug 2, 2009, 09:36 AM
If I am 16 almost 17 and he's 25 but my parents are fine with it would he get in trouble with the law if anything happens?:confused:
N0help4u
Aug 2, 2009, 09:39 AM
What state are you in?
It is legal to see/date anybody you want
BUT when it comes to sex that is a different story.
Some states you have to be 18 to be with anybody over 18.
Some states at 16 you can be with
Either
Anybody 16 and over
Anybody up to four years older than you.
aj93
Aug 3, 2009, 06:22 AM
I'm in canada accually... british columbia.
But if it is a sexual realationship and my parents have no problem with it shouldn't I be able to do anything with him without getting him in trouble?
s_cianci
Aug 3, 2009, 06:32 AM
What do you mean by "if anything happens?" If you mean "sexual intimacy", then, at your age and given the 9-year age gap between you, I can almost bet that yes, there'd be serious legal consequences, for him (and possibly your parents) more so than you. And frankly, I have to seriously question the judgment of parents who are "fine" with their 16-year-old daughter seeing a 25-year-old man, whether anything is "happening" or not.
N0help4u
Aug 3, 2009, 06:44 AM
In Canada and many states the law is that anybody over 16 can be with any age they wish over the age of 16.
In some USA states the law is 16 and 17 can be with up to four years older.
You are legal to be with whomever over 16
shazamataz
Aug 3, 2009, 07:09 AM
In Canada and many states the law is that anybody over 16 can be with any age they wish over the age of 16.
In some USA states the law is 16 and 17 can be with up to four years older.
You are legal to be with whomever over 16
Unfortunately true.
I would be worried about the sick pervert wanting to sleep with a 16 year old girl though.
dontknownuthin
Aug 3, 2009, 07:55 PM
I'm concerned about this guy and about your parents not having a problem with him being with you.
You are asking this question because you know the age is too much. There are a lot of guys your age or up to a couple years older who are mature, and do not cross these kinds of moral boundaries. I think you should take the lead and empower yourself to end this relationship.
Focus on yourself, and date without this kind of crazy complication - enjoy being young. With other people who are also young, like you... not adults who should know better than to date teenagers!
if i am 16 almost 17 and hes 25 but my parents are fine with it would he get in trouble with the law if anything happens?:confused:
Whether it's legal or not, whether your parents approve or not, this dude is a sicko and should not be allowed on the streets preying on young girls. If he showed up at my door, he wouldn't walk away of his own accord.
Fr_Chuck
Aug 3, 2009, 08:10 PM
I am very sorry you don't have good parents that want to protect you. I could envision social services perhaps investigating a pediphile chasing after a child. And looking into a home environment that would allow it to happen.
Torrid13
Aug 3, 2009, 08:13 PM
This guy is a Creeper McCreeperson.
I can't believe some parents would actually let their child put themselves in a position where they could end up in a trash bag on the side of the road.
D'OH.
aj93
Aug 3, 2009, 08:29 PM
Well its not like we are dating and I know him very well. I'm not going to end up in a trash can or anything. My parents are only OK with it because they know him as well. I have no problem with the age difference, just wanted to make sure it was legal to see him that's all. My parents care a lot about me and they know I'm safe with him. If anything happened that I would not be OK with I would put the bastard in jail!
Jake2008
Aug 4, 2009, 01:09 AM
I think there would indeed be a problem with the law where a 16 year old is being exploited by a 25 year old.
Amendments were made to allow for prosecution of adult predators, who have had sexual contact with under 16's, even with the child's consent.
The parents really need to get onboard here. I would think the Children's Aid Society would be on their doorstep too.
Frequently Asked Questions: Age of Consent to Sexual Activity (http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/dept-min/clp/faq.html)
N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 05:19 AM
Unfortunately as we may think it is states laws to age of consent are 16 in many states.
I was shocked when Scott insisted that my own state law was now 16. A couple years prior to this it had been 16 year olds could not consent with anyone over 18. Now my state law is 16 year olds can consent with up to 21 yrs old but MANY states have no cut off age with the 16 yr old age of consent.
It does vary state to state and country to country. Whatever each states law. The ones that say anyone 16 and over can be with any age doesn't seem right but is legal.
The link you posted is at least a few years old (I think 2004). I think it is saying under 18 can not be with over 18 though
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 12:34 PM
Well all of you guys will be happy to hear that he dumped my . So lets just forget that I posted anything. Thanks
Torrid13
Aug 4, 2009, 12:43 PM
well all of you guys will be happy to hear that he dumped my . so lets just forget that i posted anything. thanks
It's for the best. Trust me.
CT N MT 4ever
Aug 4, 2009, 01:15 PM
I think there would indeed be a problem with the law where a 16 year old is being exploited by a 25 year old.
Amendments were made to allow for prosecution of adult predators, who have had sexual contact with under 16's, even with the child's consent.
The parents really need to get onboard here. I would think the Children's Aid Society would be on their doorstep too.
Frequently Asked Questions: Age of Consent to Sexual Activity (http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/dept-min/clp/faq.html)
The way I c it is if the older guy is molesting or raping the girl then you put that bastard in jail but if there is no harm in it then why not I mean what's the deferents in a 16 year old and a 25 year old to a 25 year old and a 36 year old other then there past the 18 mark. You can't stop who you love or when you fall in love with them I mean how wold you fill if you were in a situation where you were head over hills for someone and just be cause they r 1 year older then the ligule age you get separated I don't approve of the law unless the child is being abused sexually or phsicyal
Alty
Aug 4, 2009, 01:20 PM
the way i c it is if the older guy is molesting or raping the girl then ya put that bastard in jail but if there is no harm in it then why not i mean whats the deferents in a 16 year old and a 25 year old to a 25 year old and a 36 year old other then there past the 18 mark. you can't stop who u love or when u fall in love with them i mean how wold u fill if u were in a situation where u were head over hills for someone and just be cause they r 1 year older then the ligule age yall get separated i dont approve of the law unless the child is being abused sexually or phsicyal
Ouch!
Chat speak is against the rules of this site, please use complete words, there's not limit of space and a spell check has been provided for you.
Also, it's not surprising that you think it's okay for the OP to date a 25 year old, seeing as you're 16 wanting to marry your 20 year old boyfriend.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/can-we-get-more-troble-383408.html
ScottGem
Aug 4, 2009, 01:20 PM
the way i c it is if the older guy is molesting or raping the girl then ya put that bastard in jail but if there is no harm in it then why not i mean whats the deferents in a 16 year old and a 25 year old to a 25 year old and a 36 year old other then there past the 18 mark. you can't stop who u love or when u fall in love with them i mean how wold u fill if u were in a situation where u were head over hills for someone and just be cause they r 1 year older then the ligule age yall get separated i dont approve of the law unless the child is being abused sexually or phsicyal
Because there are laws that deal with this. The idea is a minor is not old enough to give consent. So the law protects such minors against predators.
And there is a VERY big difference between someone who is 16 and someone who is 25. A 16 yr old is still maturing and will often make mistakes an older person won't. As one gets older the age gap matters less and less. But when the gap is between a minor and an adult. It is a very big difference.
Of course I wouldn't expect you to understand or accept this. The immaturity in your writing shows through. Plus the fact that you have had sex with a 20 yr old who is apparently in trouble over it (see other thread) makes you biased on this issue.
ScottGem
Aug 4, 2009, 01:21 PM
well all of you guys will be happy to hear that he dumped my . so lets just forget that i posted anything. thanks
Well, at least this shows this person is not a predator. He probably does understand the law (better than your parents seem to). And doesn't want to be labeled a pedophile all his life.
Wait a couple of years. Once you are 18, he may see you in a different light.
N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 04:33 PM
I agree it is for the better why waste your time on somebody that isn't really interested in you. Better it is over with now than later. You will find somebody special someday.
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 06:00 PM
I am head over heels for this guy. I don't understand why people think he is going to rape me. We have not had sex, and I have not had sex with a 20 yr. old guy. I think that if I am head over heels and he cares about me then it should be legal.
N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 06:03 PM
I think a lot of things should be legal but they aren't. That is why there are laws because if everybody had what they wanted there would be no structure.
You may be head over heels for this guy but he left you so not much you can do.
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 06:06 PM
Yes that is true. And I understand why laws are laws, but also shouldn't people understand that if you truly love someone or your falling in love with them they should be able to be with each other? Yes he did leave me, and the reason for that is because he wants to wait until I'm a bit older. I just don't really understand why I can't be with him if we like each other as much as we do.
N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 06:11 PM
The law is that you can be together as in go out, hang out, be friends but NO SEX.
It is better that way anyway even if you were over 18 because too many people jump into bed right off the bat and their relationship is based on sex. Then down the road they start getting to know each other and realize what did I get myself into. I believe that is the main reason for such a bad success rate in relationships. If he is willing to give it another chance in a couple years or so then that may just be best to accept that for now.
Alty
Aug 4, 2009, 06:13 PM
The laws are here to protect people.
The fact is, you're 16, you don't have the maturity that a 25 year old has. You will make poor choices, and the law is there to protect you from those choices.
You may love him, but the question is, should he love you? The answer is no.
He's 25 years old, he's an adult. Heck, I got married at the age of 24, you're not even old enough to vote. That's a huge age gap, a huge gap in maturity and a huge gap in experience.
Personally, I agree with this law.
I also understand how you feel, so don't think I'm talking out of my arse. I was 16 once too, and I dated a guy much older then me, much older then the guy you were dating. He did take advantage of me, but I didn't care. He had a car, he had his own place, he had a job and cool friends and he could do things I couldn't. When it ended and I grew up a bit, I realized that I didn't love him, I loved the fact that he was so grown up.
Really, you'll be in and out of love tons of times before you actually find "the one". :)
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 06:15 PM
I do accept it. Or at least I'm trying to. We have never had sex, and we weren't planning on it. He respected the fact that I wanted to get to know him before jumping into bed with him, and that is one of the reasons I liked him so much. But I am going to do my best to stay friends with him until I get older and we will see if it will work out then.
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 06:18 PM
Yes that is true. And I don't think you are talking out of your arse. I personally just think that if I love him and he loves me we should be able to be with each other. Yes I like the fact that he works, and drives and has his own place. Well I am a recovering drug addict... and he is supporting me with that, helping me with staying clean and doing my steps and such. So that's another thing that I love about him. Hes not only a gentleman he really cares about me. And I respect that, I just wish someone would understand my side
ScottGem
Aug 4, 2009, 06:19 PM
Yes that is true. And i understand why laws are laws, but also shouldnt people understand that if you truley love someone or your falling in love with them they should be able to be with eachother? Yes he did leave me, and the reason for that is because he wants to wait until im a bit older. I just dont really understand why I can't be with him if we like eachother as much as we do.
I've highlighted the key phrase here. At 16 you are generally NOT able to tell if you do truly love someone. That's why these laws exist. To protect people too young to know the difference between true love and infatuation. I know you feel its true love. But I'm wondering how many times you thought it was true love and how many more times you will feel that way.
Like I said, give it a couple of years. If you still feel the same way when you are 18, then go for it.
N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 06:21 PM
Yep time is on your side to build a solid foundation and that is the best way to know you truly love someone and they truly love you back. It is good he is respecting you keep it that way.
aj93
Aug 4, 2009, 06:25 PM
Understandable. I have never felt this way about anyone, and I don't think ill ever feel this way about anyone else. He is what I want and what I need at this point. He is the only person who is supporting me threw my recovery and I'm so proud to call him a friend. I just wish I was old enough to call him my boyfriend. But I am going to wait until I'm 18. Like everyone has said to me, I am too young and I know that. But I can't help how I feel about him.
Alty
Aug 4, 2009, 06:28 PM
Yes that is true. And i dont think you are talking out of your arse. i personally just think that if i love him and he loves me we should be able to be with eachother. Yes i like the fact that he works, and drives and has his own place. Well i am a recovering drug addict... and he is supporting me with that, helping me with staying clean and doing my steps and such. So thats another thing that i love about him. Hes not only a gentleman he really cares about me. and i respect that, i just wish someone would understand my side
The fact is, if you love him now you'll love him 5 years from now, when you're an adult and old enough to decide who you want to be with.
Love doesn't fade.
I do understand your side of this, that's why I'm telling you that you're too young. Really, wait a few years, you'll see things clearly then.
It's hard to be a teen, I remember, but it will pass, really it will. Before you know it you'll be an adult and you'll be giving the same advice to other teens that we're giving you. :)
aj93
Aug 5, 2009, 09:14 AM
I guess your right. I'll just have to wait till I am older...