Hi!
I am Married and 40 years old. Good caring wife. 1 Daughter 6 years old and a son 1 month old. I love my wife and childern too. I am very honest and straight person. One employee fell in love with me. She was married against her wish and after marriage alost 1 year passed and she joined my company. As a regular employee I used to take care of her too and she was not only girl in my office history.
However our relationship went on almost for last 5 years. She is nice girl and her husband did give divorce to her 3 years back. I honestly tried to save her marriage but unfortunately could not. She never had physical relatioinship along with her husband. Rather he was not able too. She is extremely beautiful and yet she proposed me about close relationship.
On the same night I informed my wife about her and initially she also became angry and tense. Days passed by and bond between us became stronger and stronger. My wife knows that I have got an affection towads her. But she is so nice that even my girlfriend (my employee) does respects her a lot. Even she regularly advice me for taking care of her and daughter.
She(my Employee) wants me to be happy person and we both neither wish by heart my relationship with my wife nor we want to break up. We both have made a lot of sacrifice in last 5 years.
Occasionaly we used to have physical relationship but not more than once in a month. About that too I am not lustful or she does not want to create problem in my personal life.

However she can not live without me. I and my employee many times tried to look for another person for her second marriage but both have failed. Mentally she is not prepared. Further We both feel guilty that intentionally we should not cheat any bridegroom. g

She even can not think of getting married in dream.. She takes care of me like my wife and she even consider me as husand. But she sacrifice everyhing for my wife. We can not marry... can not forget each other... can not have a baby... she can not marry even though I am ready her to get married a good person...

How can we solve this issue... Both.. I and Employee are under tremendus stress.

There is absolutely no effect in my home and family life. But our personal life (me and employee has become stressful)

Except sexual relationship my wife is aware about both of us but takes that in light mood and says that whatever I feel from within I should do

I treat my employee many times as daughter as she is 13 years younger to me... father when I guide her... Boss in office and Hubby for occasional romance and Sex


How to go ahead


Please help!!

It sounds like both of you are allowing yourselves to get confused with your emotions.
You both need to step back and reevaluate why you feel you need each other so much.
It really doesn't sound like love to me but more like you are overly feeling you need to fix each others problems or something.
You need to keep work at work and relationships out of the work place.

Sorry buddy, but you make me sick to my stomach. You're a poor example for a husband and a father. Your wife should have kicked you to the ground along time ago. I don't know what she is waiting for. HOW CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE?

. HOW CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE?
I don't think he did say that he did love her:(

That's pretty sad Nohelp4u especially when they have a newborn. Its sad that they bring children into the world, and then there cheating on their wife. Don't like guys like that, it doesn't sit with me.

You have crossed all kinds of boundaries of good behavior, and need to get your old a$$ back on the right side of things. Your actions are deplorable, and need to change.

Did you say your mistress respects your wife? Let's see, you are cheating on your wife, with a girl, that you treat like a daughter, who gives you advice on how to treat your wife and daughter, who is also a subordinate?

You need help... Guys like YOU make guys like ME look good!

" I am not lustful".

Your post gave me a headache, and nausea.

How can you look in the mirror?

I'm not going to make a judgment, because I believe that you know what you have done is wrong in so many ways.

Clearly you feel that you cannot continue the way that you are, so you must make a choice:

1. Stay with your wife, commit yourself to your marriage and cut off contact with your mistress. Or,

2. Leave your wife, leave the marriage and be with your mistress.

You will not be entirely happy with either choice as it will bring with its own set of problems. But that is life.

You tried to have everything, and now you're finding that if you don't take care you will have nothing.

You find the "emplyee anther job somewhere else, or just fire her and save your marriage with your wife.

OP,

You are taking advantage of being her boss! You are the cause of the root! Please fix yourself first!