How does loving yourself make you then able to love another?

To love yourself is to respect and forgive yourself on anything you've done as a mistake and learn not to do it again. Pretty much to accept fate as it is... for example, you got into a break up, you take it as it's the end of the world, there is no woman/man out there for you anymore... you're so down and depressed about everything and just feel like killing yourself. So how can you love someone else when you're in this stage? That's why they say you have to learn to forgive and love yourself first before you could love anyone else. Most people don't understand is that you SHARE happiness with the special person you are with, she/he doesn't make the happiness for you... you're already born with the happiness and you're sharing it with someone else. So by any chance, always remember that you have to love yourself and give yourself the happiness you deserve before sharing it with someone else.

In loving yourself, you have to come to terms with the fact that you are not perfect and you make mistakes.

You have to know how to accept yourself for who you are: pretty, ugly, smelly, smart, stupid, artistic, athletic.

If you can't accept yourself, how will you be able to accept someone else and their flaws? If you don't love yourself and believe you can do great things, how can you support a lover and convince themselves they can do great things?

That's why it's important to be comfortable with yourself and appreciate yourself before going into a relationship. People with healthy self-esteem have fewer clingy issues and healthier relationships in general.

Health self-esteem, not narcissistic.

If you love yourself, accept yourself, then you can put yourself out there for the world to see.

Don't love yourself, don't accept your flaws, then how can you hope for someone else to love you?

?? Love yourself.If you can't do that,you can't love anybody.And I really try to stick to that.Loving oneself means being in a place where one is literally on top of the world,in complete joy and so much happier.

This happiness translates to being irresistible,charming,funny,sexy and very desirable.Its almost like being a magnet,where everybody wants to be around you and throws themselves at you.?

"Loving yourself' is really about acceptance. It's not about jumping out of your skin with joy all the time or being an egotist.

What it means is that you accept yourself for what you are without judgment - the good and the bad. Loving yourself stems from self awareness and a clarity about who you are and the effect that you have on others.

Loving yourself means that you know you're responsible for your own happiness and that you don't put this onus on to other people.

When you love and accept yourself, you don't demand that love and acceptance from others and therefore you are able to engage in mature, honest and balanced relationships.

We aren't always perfect and this is the ideal, of course, but we can work towards it!

?????? Love yourself.If you can't do that,you can't love anybody.And I really try to stick to that.Loving oneself means being in a place where one is literally on top of the world,in complete joy and so much happier.

This happiness translates to being irresistible,charming,funny,sexy and very desirable.Its almost like being a magnet,where everybody wants to be around you and throws themselves at you. ??????

I think since Elousia quoted me from another thread,its only fair that I should explain what I mean by these words.

Loving oneself doesn't mean being in a perpetual state of euphoria,or an all-time high where one forgets everything and everybody else and is self-centered.Its not about being immersed in oneself,being narcissistic or arrogant.

To love onself means to know oneself well,one's good and bad traits,flaws,imperfections,qualities everything.Just as we try in knowing another person and accepting them for who they are.

When I(or anybody)love myself I am willing to just be who I am.Since I have no illusions about who I am and am willing to forgive myself for the bad things I say and do,don't hold myself accountable for everything going wrong in this universe,rather just face all of it and move on,learning from my mistakes,I am in a much better place to free my energy in searching happier and more exciting pastures.I am no longer constantly analysing every action or word of mine,not being impatient with myself for every blunder I make.I take life as it comes and just concentrate on giving everything I do my best shot and don't bother about how I performed.

If I lose,I fall down,I pick up the pieces and move on.There are tears,pain and a lot of heart-ache but if I protect and support myself,take care of myself,I will look within for strength and wisdom,not outside,in other people's judgement and analysis of me.

From personal experience I have seen I am in my worst possible form when I am negative,pessimistic,critical of everything I say or do,strive too hard to be like somebody else(since I am unhappy in my own skin).I come across as a harsh,cold,aloof person who's emotionally insecure,clingy and somebody who's depending on other people for her happiness,as she's so unhappy herself.I surely wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like me(:)),someone so gloomy,critical,nagging,would I?If I can't tolerate me,in these times,how can I expect someone else to?

A healthy relationship,as I have found out from people who have it,means striking a balance between the ME and the WE.Of course we can't always LOVE ourselves,we are humans right,we tend to indulge in self-loathing,self-pity and self-doubt at times.There are dark times in everybody's lives when we feel like our backs are against the world.

Instead of banking on our partner to work it all out for us,the idea(when we love ourselves sufficiently)is to work it out for ourselves.Of course we can share and talk and get advice,but counting on the other person to sort out my emotional problems,come on,do I want to keep doing that for someone else myself?Do I want to ruin a special relationship by dumping my personal issues on somebody and making them feel pressurised and obligated to get a solution?What makes me think he/she is better at finding solutions for me than me?What happened to my confidence and ability to pull through?Haven't I lived my life before I met this person and wouldn't I carry on ,much after?

I think I am deviating from the meaning of what you asked(i.e loving yourself)though that's because I was trying to address the other question you have of understanding the idea of loving yourself in the context of having a loving relationship,i.e linking the idea of loving onself with the idea of loving somebody else.The last two paras are mostly based on that though as I have come to see it,loving onself isn't at all linked with loving anybody else or having a relationships.Its a habit on its own,a kind of mantra for me,which helps me deal with myself,as a human being.Nothing more,nothing less.I don't see it as a stepping stone to "groom"myself for the world or for a guy.Its what I do because for very long I have been very judgemental about myself,letting myself blindly believe in people's impressions of me,trying to change/twist myself into somebody who I definitely am not.It was causing me a lot of pain and leading me to do wrong things.

Would like to end with a very favourite scene of mine from the movie,Forrest Gump.Its the scene where Tom Hanks' friend,the handicapped,ex-army guy,splashes into the sea against the setting sun and where Tom Hanks concludes that his friend has finally made his peace with God,meaning that he has finally let go of his past ghosts and found his lost faith in life.Thats the ultimate form of self-acceptance,wholesome,heavenly peace that takes one nearer to the creator of the universe.