Me and my boyf have been happily togeather for 4 years, our sex life has been good but not great,I'm MUCH more adventurious then he is , there are loads of things I want to try from small things like doing it in the back seat of a car to bigger things but he's not intrested in any of them. No matter what I try he just wants 'normal' slightly dull and predictable sex. How can I convince him? Also he has put on 2 stone since we have been togeather which is a turn off for me because I'm very fit but I've never said anything to him to make him feel unattractive! I'm ALLWAYS on top because this is pretty much the only way I can orgasm, but I want him to be a man a take charge but when he goes on top (rarely) I can't feel a thing, its like there is nothing there? Does anybody have any ideas?

I'm sorry to say there isn't much you can do to convince a lover into something they really don't want to do. Continue to be supportive of his preferences, but at the same time, let him know that you are not being satisfied.

Talk talk talk. Take a night of sitting up in bed all night and just TALK about sex without HAVING sex.

Yeah.. I agree with jenniepesi. Try talking about it... if that doesn't work. Be glad you aren't married and have kids because the two of you just aren't compatible enough. And cionsider moving on with your life.

As you admit... this is how he is... and this is how you are. Don't expect him to permanently change to suit you and more than you would expect to change yourself to suit him.

What things have you tried to get him to be more adventurous?

I was like you with my partner but in the opposite position, I was not very adventurous but he was...

He opened up to me about what sort of things he liked (or would like to try)
He did not pressure me in any way but just suggested watching porn videos which I agreed to (had never watched them before)
Once I was comfortable with porn (and enjoying it) we progressed to more specialised porn (bondage, uniforms, anal or whatever you are into)
Once I was fine watching it I was ready to try it.

I do agree with Smoothy, he may never want to try this and you may just not be compatible in bed but it's worth exploring a few options before calling it quits.

As for the weight issue (ignore if you don't want this addressed)
Do you have any dogs?
I got my partner out walking by getting him to walk to dogs with me.
I never touched on the issue of his weight but more that I wanted a walking companion.
Or even just sayting that you want to go walking but not on your own.

What things have you tried to get him to be more adventurous?

I was like you with my partner but in the opposite position, I was not very adventurous but he was...

He opened up to me about what sort of things he liked (or would like to try)
He did not pressure me in any way but just suggested watching porn videos which I agreed to (had never watched them before)
Once I was comfortable with porn (and enjoying it) we progressed to more specialised porn (bondage, uniforms, anal or whatever you are into)
Once I was fine watching it I was ready to try it.

I do agree with Smoothy, he may never want to try this and you may just not be compatible in bed but it's worth exploring a few options before calling it quits.

As for the weight issue (ignore if you don't want this addressed)
Do you have any dogs?
I got my partner out walking by getting him to walk to dogs with me.
I never touched on the issue of his weight but more that I wanted a walking companion.
Or even just sayting that you want to go walking but not on your own.


Just keep the dogs out of the bedroom... He probibly won't react well to a dog stuffing its cold snout in his but in the middle of doing it with you. :eek:

You sound like you might need a break. He can learn over time, but if he's resisting, my guess is that you may end up friends more than lovers. It's never going to be 100% even on desire and needs, but if it's never good, that is not a good place to start.

If you find sex so important that you can't feel for him without good sex, and none of the (good) suggestions above work, then he is not right for you.

You need to decide what's more important, him, or sex.