He seems to think its not, but I beg to differ. I have cought him numerouse times online in dating rooms, talking to other women. I have confronted him about it and he said he would quit. That was a little over a month ago and I cought him again yesterday. The only thing is he doesn't know I know yet. I got into his e-mail , that's how I found out. That was the biggest issue before, he considered it "wrong" for me to be checking his e-mail but I don't think its wrong if he has let me down so far. I Can't trust him anymore, that's why I check is every so often. This time his profile was so disturbing to be I can't bear to confront him. I love him so much and I know he loves me to, he just has a problem. What should I do?

You should leave him. If there is no trust in the relationship, then it will NEVER work. If he doesn't see a problem with it then he isn't going to stop. So you can sit there and be unhappy or you can leave and find someone who can make you happy. Your choice.

There seems to be a lot of problems with in this relationship..
Your snooping into his emails,and he is on a dating site.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

You said his profile is 'disturbing'?

Does this not send a clear message to you that this man is not interested in his relationship with you,he is pursuing other woman..
There is no trust here.

I am in a similar situation, believe me its hard. Evryday I am trying to find wyas to fix the problem. But its true if there is no trust its hard to survive. For me its I don't know why its difficult to get out... I want to... but I am still here... its just one push that will make all the diff... believe in yourself and get out...

I am trying tooo !

Consider putting blocks on the computer, marriage counseling and a real sit down conversation with him. Express your concerns and let him know how hurt you are. Then it is his decision to make about your feelings.

I don't think leaving is the best solution right now. I definitely think that going to marriage counseling and trying to work things out in other ways should be tried before divorce.

You both were wrong: him for using online dating sites, and you for spying on him. Again, marriage counseling would be a good start, and if that and other options just don't work, then consider your options from there.

Are they even married or maybe just boyfriend/girlfriend?

Either way, the trust is broken... the relationship is practically over. I am not saying that the trust cannot be mended back together but the odds are WAY against you.

He is sneaking around behind your back chatting (and who knows what else) to girls on a dating site. He is obviously looking for something that you are not giving him.

You have reduced yourself to snooping through his personal emails hoping to catch him in the act. Now you have and you don't know what to do with it.

You have both crossed lines of trust that should never be crossed.

If you are married, I would suspect that you both recognized such behavior in each other, in yourselves, before the marriage but you chose to get married anyway based on some twisted idea of love and commitment. In this case, since you made the sound decision to dedicate your lives to each other, you owe it to each other and yourselves to try and make it work... but you better both be prepared to try hard... because it ain't going to be easy!

If you aren't married, then you have a chance. Sure, you can try to make it work... but without the slightly tighter bind of marriage between you, I will bet that it is easier for one of you to give up and just walk away, rather than work on such deep issues with the other. I would take it for the fair warning that it is that this guy is no good for you. Also, take it as the slap in the face to you that it is that you need to work on your trust issues... which obviously stem from your self-esteem issues.

He will not change as long as he is in denial.
He thinks it is not cheating so he doesn't think he needs help.
I agree with Redhed that he must not be interested in his marriage any more.
Not sure what your best approach should be because he will continue to justify his dating sites by your wrong of looking at his emails.

Ask him how he would like it if you put up a profile on those sites to attract the men.

Time for a long talk, I would suggest - away from the house and away from the computer.

What does he want from your relationship?
What does he get from the dating sites?
Where does he believe the relationship is heading?

You need to know what his commitment is to you and why he behaves in this way - hopefully he still has some level of care for you to be honest about what is happening. If he's still in denial, then I'd suggest you will need to make the choice about what happens.

You may love him, but love doesn't grow in a garden that's not watered.

In the end, you may have to leave him to the dating sites, clearly he finds them more interesting than his relationship with you.

First, I will say, many relationships fail over differences in interpretation... If you think chatting online is cheating and he doesn't, the respectful thing to do would be to stop doing it.

It is cheating if either party believes it is disloyal.

The part that most people don't want to hear though is often times men do this, (women too) because they just want to feel desired or wanted. Often it is a communication error. When men/women cheat it is usually someone who doesn't do anything for them except they're always happy and grateful to have any time they get. It can make someone feel important.

I have learned often I am a doer, If I sense insecurity I DO more and that is not what he needs, I have to say more, be more affectionate and tell him how sexy I think he is, drop everything to give him a kiss when he gets home. Cheating is one of those things both partners create in a marriage.

Usually it is very clear to both people that they are needed in a relationship. Being desired above all else, we forget to do that when the "new" wears off

He's cheating on you, even if he stops you will never trust him again and always wonder and have to have a quick cheap up- I know its happened to me. Put yourself before him, you shouldn't be treated like that- you not doing it ti him! Go find someone better

You say he's on 'dating sites' where he chats up women, so I presume he has a profile that presents himself as available.

I've never been in a dating site, but I presume that it is for meeting other available people, and it is more than just chatting. People on dating sites actually date don't they?

If it were a bar setting, instead of a computer setting, and he was chatting up women, giving the impression that he is available, providing information about himself, including his email address, probably cell phone number, area where he lives etc. that would be considered cheating wouldn't it?

So, why does he think that because it is online instead of in person, that it is anything less than cheating.

The main point I see here is that he doesn't see it as a problem, and it is a problem.

He has needs outside his marriage, that are being met by women, who see him as a possible catch, or dating material.

If he hasn't crossed that line yet to actually meeting women face to face, then I would insist on marriage counselling, and the bare minimum expectation of him would be immediately removing his profile from these dating sites.