I suppose I am writing this more as a way of trying to ensure that I actually learn from a mistake this time rather than repeating it. I know that my only option from here is NC, and I know I was in the wrong and I can’t blame my friend/potential GF from saying enough is enough.

I became good friends with a woman, to the point where we were texting, emailing, calling each other daily (multiple times) for about 5 months. We went to lunch a couple of times but remained friends only since we both were still dealing with past relationship issues. I became ready for more before she was, but I waited for her to be ready to move to the next level. We finally set up our first actual date last Saturday. We decided to meet at my place for a glass of wine and appetizers and then head to dinner.

I was happy and looking forward to it all week. I even took a vacation day Friday so I could shop. To surprise her I got her favorite wine, favorite flowers for the table and made a couple appetizers that I knew she would like. Saturday she called to say she would be there a little early which was great, it was a 30 – 40 minute drive for her. She got to the apartment, we hugged, kissed and sat down for some wine while the appetizers were in the oven. After only a couple sips, she looks at her phone and said I have to call back. I said OK. She hangs up the phone after speaking to her mother in Spanish (which I don’t speak) and tells me her Dad cut his finger and didn’t want to go to the hospital. She said what should I do? I said go, help your Dad and reached for her hand but she made no response. So she apologized and left. Leaving me sitting at the table with two bottles of wine and wondering just happened? It was a huge disappointment to me; I really went to a lot of work. A few more glasses of wine and I convinced myself that I had just gotten the old rescue call trick. Here is where it goes downhill, I texted her and asked her how her Dad was, and convinced myself she was not telling me the truth. I asked her if her Dad really cut his finger (in so many words), and she sends me a picture of his finger stitched up with the caption Unbelievable, and asking me if I was “happy now”. So I reply “no I’m not happy, hope your Dad feels better, goodbye”. So at this point I am both angry with the “are you happy now comment” and feeling about 2 inches tall because I was SO wrong.

A couple hours later I texted her and apologized for doubting her and got no reply from her. The next morning I texted again, apologized and said I would try to make up for being such a jerk. She replied in an email that because I doubted her and thought she lied that there was no hope for us to EVER be more than friends. I emailed her one last time telling her that I understood, that I could not go back to being just friends right now and if she ever forgave me to get in touch with me (a little more eloquently than that). I haven’t heard back since.

Sometimes we jump to conclusions without really considering other possibilities.

Lesson learned.

A few more glasses of wine and I convinced myself that I had just gotten the old rescue call trick. Here is where it goes downhill, I texted her

Yeah, you screwed up. Lesson learned??

First of all, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. The whole thing sounds a little fishy to me. OK, so her father cut his finger. It wasn't so serious that he 'wanted to go to the hospital." But your friend had to rush right back as though he were dying ; as it is, she lives 30-40 min. away ; not exactly conducive to an "emergency response". Obviously she'd be concerned about her father, that's understandable. But to ditch you like that over a minor cut and then act so exasperated when you question such strange behavior, something's definitely on the blink here. Either it was the old rescue call trick or she's a very strange bird with a very strange family. Either way, you want to steer clear of this one.

I have to agree, it does sound fishy. But you also have to remember she drove 40 minutes to go on a date with you. That tells me she was pretty interested in you. You should have given her the benefit of the doubt.

Well, as Talaniman said, lesson learned.
Wine + Texting = Baaad Moojoo.

I don't think it was weird that she left the date to be with her family. He said she was speaking in spanish, so not to stereotype spanish people but they tend to be very close to the family. I would have personally left too (no matter how big or small the incident was), because at the end of the day Family is what matters most. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and try not to hold a grudge for her changing her mind. I honestly think that it wasn't a deal breaker so she could just be saying this to let you know she was very upset and for you to LEARN that your behavior was unacceptable but if you continue to keep the "friendly" relationship with her that you had in the past you may be able to patch things up. I wouldn't give up all hope on this one just yet

I agree, maybe what she did was shady. Still it was my behavior that was worse.

Have I learned a lesson? More than one really.

Obviously, drunk texting is NEVER a good idea. Making assumptions is equally as bad. Not trusting someone that you have come to care about so much in so short of a time is maybe the worst.

I hope next time I will act more appropriately, the truth would have come out in the end. On the other hand I am not too bummed because if one mistake, no matter the extent, makes her turn her back on me completely, well, better to learn that now. Thanks to everyone for your comments and support.