Log in

View Full Version : My boyfriend isn't interested in being intament


neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 09:05 AM
When my boyfriend and I 1st started dating the sex was awesome. We couldn't get enough of each other. We have been together a year and a half and he always says that he isn't in the mood. We love each other I have no doubts about that, but I don't understand why he has turned off to me, I crave him. I have tried everything I know to try. He just says that he isn't in the mood. When I ask him what the problem is, he only says that he is stressed. I need some advice quick, I can feel the bond he and I had falling apart.

Synnen
Jul 20, 2009, 09:10 AM
How old are you?

Holly23
Jul 20, 2009, 09:13 AM
I don't know love,seems like he doesn't want to be in that relationship anymore.If you love him let him go and if he loves you he'll come back... or maybe he's gay!

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 09:14 AM
30

Holly23
Jul 20, 2009, 09:15 AM
Why was her age important?

redhed35
Jul 20, 2009, 09:22 AM
Why was her age important??


Different advice would apply to the age of the op,also the length of time of the relationship,and the type of relationship.

Holly23
Jul 20, 2009, 09:25 AM
I just think its quite rude when she obviously wasn't an inexperienced teenager

redhed35
Jul 20, 2009, 09:28 AM
He may really be stressed/tired,that does not mean he has gone off you.there could be a lot going on in his life that you don't know about.if your rerlationship is otherwise solid,

Take some of the burden off him,make him a nice meal,maybe a shoulder rub,don't expect sex,just give him some tlc,and maybe he will open up to you and let you know what's wrong,but don't push the issue,keep the evening light.

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 09:29 AM
Tried that, doesn't seem to work either.

redhed35
Jul 20, 2009, 09:31 AM
I just think its quite rude when she obviously wasnt an inexperienced teenager


I myself did not think it was obvious,it's a valid question with regards to a sexual relationship.

Also,arguing does not answer the op's question.

redhed35
Jul 20, 2009, 09:36 AM
Tried that, doesn't seem to work either.


He may be trying to work things out for himself,asking him continually if its you will only serve to stress him out more.

Let him know you care about him,and leave the door open to talk,ask if there is anything you can help with,this is possibly just a slump in your relationship,give him some space and as I said,let him know your there to talk if he needs you.

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 09:50 AM
He is lovable throughout the day, such as, kissing and hugging, taking showers together and things of that nature, but it never goes any further. I know that sex isn't what a relationship is made of, but it is kind of nice when you are with the one you love and giving each other that special attention. I try to ask him what he is feeling, but even if I ask once a month why, he acts like I ask him everyday.

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 09:51 AM
Thank you, I really appreciate it!

smoothy
Jul 20, 2009, 10:13 AM
Sounds like the "Fresh Meat" excitement has worn off, and he is coming to realize he really isn't as interested in you as he initially though he was.

mikejones21
Jul 20, 2009, 10:20 AM
Its not all stress, In the bedroom let him have his way and do something special for him

Synnen
Jul 20, 2009, 10:26 AM
Actually, her age was important for several reasons:

The age of the OP and the age of her boyfriend could have a bearing on possible medical issues.

The experience level of both parties has a bearing.

And, of course, the fact that I can't always tell how old someone is by what they post, and I need to make sure people posting in the Adult Sexuality forums are adults.

For that matter, how old are YOU, Holly? I can't seem to find that in any of your posts.

To the OP:

If you can't TALK about sex, inside or outside of the bedroom, then you probably shouldn't be HAVING sex. Have you tried talking to him about how YOU feel--not what HE is or is not doing, but how YOU feel? Have you noticed any OTHER changes? Lack of intimacy is usually a symptom of something ELSE that is wrong, rather than a problem in and of itself.

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 10:44 AM
Thank all of you for your response, everything you have said has helped. I love him and I know he loves me, eventually something will give.

Another ? About this subject, should I act like I don't care one way or another?

Synnen
Jul 20, 2009, 10:50 AM
No.

You should COMMUNICATE.

That doesn't mean bug him every day, that doesn't mean ignore the problem or pretend it doesn't exist.

It means sitting down and talking TOGETHER about what expectations are in the bedroom.

neverenuffnky
Jul 20, 2009, 10:54 AM
Thanks!!

mikejones21
Jul 20, 2009, 11:57 AM
Well it could help but you do care sit down and talk with him more