If there is a better place for this post, let me know.


Am in need of a sling, that is big enough for my 5 year old. She is ADHD, and may have some Sensory processing issues (which she is currently being tested for)

And I am looking into possibly wearing her (I wore her when she was a baby until she was 2) to try and cut back on the 'melt downs' we often experience.

I am having a lot of trouble finding a sling big enough for her to fit in however. I am strong enough and big enough to wear her, its just the sling size issue

So if anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great

First I am not sure it is a healthy idea to try and carry that amount of weight on any regular basis.

And most transport of a 5 year old will be done though juv wheel chairs if needed. These are available in both manual and electric versions.

Since solving meltdowns now, but as she is 10, or 15, the issues have to be addressed causing the problem

She doesn't need a wheel chair. She is socially handicapped not physically. Her doctor is the one that suggested this. It wouldn't be on a regular basis, as if she were an infant and being carried all the time. It would only be when she has meltdowns. Maybe 4 times a week.

The doctor said that when she is older there are medications she can use to help, but the doctor is reluctant to prescribe them right away since she is only 5 and wants to try other ways for now.

But I do agree with you, when the doctor first suggested it, I was very skeptical of it.

Sorry, misunderstood the need to be "carried"

How much does she weigh?

I am a retired nursery school teacher and elementary school T.A.
I have some experience with children who have ADHD.

Behavior modification is the recommended way to achieve lasting results.

Addressing the situation immediately and consistently are key to success.

In my opinion,I think slinging her would be seen as a reward and would further encourage meltdown or unacceptable behavior,which would be the opposite of what you want to achieve.

I fail to see the psychology behind the idea of toting her around in an effort to correct behavior.

Holding a child who is having a meltdown is fine ,hold them firmly in your lap,telling them they are O.K. until the tantrum subsides.

The idea is to discourage the behavior and I think wearing her would only encourage it.
Just my thought.
What reason did your doctor have for suggesting this?You stated that you were skeptical and I can appreciate that.So am I.

He didn't say to carry her around all over the place. It would only be during the meltdowns. And its not just ADHD that she has. She is seeing a speciallist tomorrow for testing on PPD and SPD *which is what the blanket swaddling would help* the ADHD just makes it extra hard, because she has dominately hyperactivity.

Here is a link a friend of mine gave me who also uses swaddling and weighted blankets for her son who has special needs.





Specifically, weighted products are used for several reasons with children who do not properly process sensory stimuli/input. The 3 main reasons are:

1. to improve body awareness

2. to calm and improve attention and focus

3. to decrease sensory seeking behaviors

For many children and families, weighted blankets are "life-saving" devices. With weighted vests, blankets, neck wraps, and lap pads, a child who...

... self abuses, may stop.

... can't fall asleep without excessive help, or stay asleep, may FINALLY get the proper rest.

... can not stand or sit still long enough to learn or complete a task, will.

... is constantly touching other people and/or breaking things, may stop.

... exhibits acting out, fearful, or aggressive behaviors when certain sensory stimuli is presented, may not.

... is distracted and unorganized, may become focused.

... throws tantrums when in loud, busy, public places, may become calm.

... can not successfully transition from one activity to another without distress, may finally be able to.

I say... why WAIT until it gets to that point? Weighted products are all about PREVENTION... being proactive BEFORE we see the behavior! In these cases, "pressure" is good! Deep pressure will calm and soothe an over-aroused, disorganized, or "fearful" nervous system. Why put a child in a restraint, discipline him for something that is not his fault and he can't control, or give him medicine when it may not even be necessary (or helpful)? We want you to know, there ARE other options!

Weighted Blankets (http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/weighted-blankets.html)


I'm still learning about all this, and its confusing sometimes, but it DOES make sense.

Weighted blankets is one thing,wearing her is another issue.
You asked for advice,I'm just giving my opinion on wearing her.

Jennie, where does she fit within the Autistic Spectrum of disorders?

artlady, I know your just giving your opinion. I apreicated it don't think I don't *hugs*

J_9, here is a list I made that I'm going to take to the speciallist tomorrow. Another suggestion by the doctor lol.

I'm sorry its so long. Its an accumulation of me observing her over the last week.

also, I'm sorry if I seem over anxious. On top of ADHD, I am also BLPD and bipolar and I have anxiety, and I tend to over analize a lot of things, and get over anxious about everything. So please feel free to tell me if I am worried about nothing.


won't sit still and always getting up, even when watching a movie she likes, and even when she is tired.



she can't play quietly, or do anything quietly, yells when trying to talk



talks A lot (I have babysat, and have several small children in our family and I'm a member of a mothers 'group' with playdates and get togethers, and I have NEVER seen any other child talk as much as she does. Not even me as a child, I had ADHD, and she still talks more than I did.



very selective hearing



I thnk she has insomnia on newyears eve, I let her stay awake, and she stayed awake until 2am, when I made her go to bed. She didn't get sleepy, and still fought sleep. (also, still woke up early at 6am)




mild anxiety




Obsessive masturbation (usually once a day, sometimes more)




random fit throwing, for no reason at all, will simply start crying hard and is inconsolable.




violent anger (screaming at the top of her lungs, hitting, throwing)



she will repeat herself. A lot. She repeats herself OVER AND OVER very quickly until she gets an answer (I don't ignore her, I answer her right away. She just says it 2 or 3 times really fast before I get a chance to say anything) or she will ask me, and I will say 'yes or no' and then she will seem to forget, and ask again (literally seconds after the first time) as if she never even asked the first time.



seems not to hear sometimes
hyperventilates when opposed



badly slured speech (this doesn't concern me much, as it runs in the family, and once in school and speech class, it will go away by the time she is 9, or it should)



seems to behave socially at a 3 year old level



sometimes will be over affectionate, sometimes will become violent if loved on



obsessive compulsive behavior (masterbation, nose picking constantly, biting nails)



Severe insomnia: have a strict bedtime routine, that has not changed in 3 years, still fights it, refuses to sleep, goes down at 8, is not sleeping until 10 or 11.



shouting does not affect her: I do not yell at her. I'm very AP, however, my neighbor who I started babysitting (the lady I posted about before about being worried about her parenting) for came over, and yelled at her very loudly and meanly about making a mess. (of course I told her not to do it anymore as it just doesn't work) ayla did not react at ALL. She stared blankly as if nothing was said at all. Her hearing is fine however.



will not make eye contact, even when told to do so.



doesn't connect well with kids her own age.



doesn't pick up on social cues. For example, if I tell her a funny story, even if I laugh, sometimes she doesn't make the connection that its suppose to be funny. However its not all the time.



if we do something different, that hasn't been done before, or hasn't been done in a long time, she has a meltdown.

Have you considered Aspergers Syndrome?

Yeah. Aspergers is just a mild form of autism isn't it? That's what I was thinking. Aspergers is still under the PPD spectrum isn't it? (or the 'autism spectrum' its got so many different names.


Right now we have only see 3 pediatritions. The first one said 'oh she is fine' so I saw the second one. The second one said 'she might have ADHD but that's it' I didn't agree because I have a lot of experience with ADHD, and though I do agree she has adhd, I don't think that's her only issue.

Personally I think she has (on top of ADHD) a sensory processing disorder or a sensory integration dysfunction. The pediatrition we have now agrees with me, and to make the insurance company happy, gave her a 'general blanket diagnosis' that he called Attention, Behavior And Social Sensory Integration Dysfunction. He said it was general enough to leave room in case that's not the issue, but direct enough to get my insurance to refer me to the specialist for testing her.

Aspergers falls into the Autism Spectrum of Disorders. It's a more high functioning version of Autism.

Although, she could also very well be just a precocious child.

That's true. She could just be perfectly fine. I'm still learning about stuff like this, and from what I understand, if she does have an issue like aspergers/autism or SPD/SID, if I don't find out about it and make sure I do the right thing, it could get really bad.


BUT those are all just articles I read online. And we all know how biased and opinionated online sites can be :P lol. So I'm going to wait to see what the doctor says tomorrow. I'm just stressing is all.

*ps, thanks for being here to bounce ideas off my head :) *

Jennie, you know stress will magnify everything you see.

While I am NOT a doctor, and I do NOT know your daughter, I am left wondering if these are nothing more than behavior problems that could be handled with some behavior modification.

I may be wrong, but I hate labeling a child until all avenues have been closed. Once the child is labeled, they stay labeled... in school, in life, with insurance, etc.

I had some serious issues with my first son, much like you have with your daughter. Docs wanted to medicate him etc (he is almost 23 now). I refused all of that and used a form of intervention. He is a healthy young man with a beautiful wife, a child, and another on the way.

Had I listened to those doctors and medicated him, I don't know how he would have turned out.

Yeah your right. I do over dramatize a lot. And I don't want to lable her. When I was younger adhd is all the other kids saw. They didn't see ME. They just saw my DX.

I just get so much information, and EVERYTHING makes sense. Even the sites that contradict each other, both of them make sense. That's where I got the wrapping/wearing idea. Its suppose to help with SPD/SID and I thought if it helped her, than that would be awesome.

The wrapping idea I see as rewarding a behavior that is not a behavior we want to reward.

She needs to learn some coping behaviors and that would not include running to mom. Mom won't be there forever, and we need to start teaching independence early.

Jennie, you know stress will magnify everything you see.

While I am NOT a doctor, and I do NOT know your daughter, I am left wondering if these are nothing more than behavior problems that could be handled with some behavior modification.

I may be wrong, but I hate labeling a child until all avenues have been closed. Once the child is labeled, they stay labeled...in school, in life, with insurance, etc.

I had some serious issues with my first son, much like you have with your daughter. Docs wanted to medicate him etc (he is almost 23 now). I refused all of that and used a form of intervention. He is a healthy young man with a beautiful wife, a child, and another on the way.

Had I listened to those doctors and medicated him, I don't know how he would have turned out.

My youngest(now 22) was diagnosed with conduct disorder at age 7.He was a strong willed kid.I raised him to be his own person and he was never a mean or abusive kid,just strong willed,he still is.
As an educator,I think it is appalling how many kids are on meds,many of whom do not need it In my opinion.
Some of these kids truly need help,there is no denying that but I think too many are misdiagnosed and we need to rethink the repercussions of labeling.I totally agree with you!

It can also become a crutch for the family and the kids,ignoring unacceptable behavior and placing all the blame on the condition.Medicate ,don't rehabilitate seems to be the norm.

It is hard to know which way to go because so many professionals are on the medicate bandwagon.

Allergies should be looked at,many times that is a huge trigger for behavior problems.Some kids go ballistic just from drinking cows milk.

It's a hard road to go,you just need to arm yourself with knowledge.

Thank you all for the support and help and kind words.

I agree J_9 that I don't want to be encouraging her behavior, and I won't always be there, especially with her starting school next month. But I have tried punishing before (time out, taken away toys/movies/games, taken away privilegeds, early bedtimes, even some of the 'bad' ones like going to bed without supper, or spankings)

And none of it seems to work. That's why I was looking at alternatives. I might even ask her doctor about the herbal supplements I was on when I was a teen. Ginko biloba and st johns wart.

artlady, that's a HUGE issue I had as a child, whenever I got in trouble at school I (or my mom) would say 'remember, ADHD!'

I Don't want to do that or let her do that definitely

thank you all for the support and help and kind words.

i agree J_9 that i dont want to be encouraging her behavior, and i wont always be there, especially with her starting school next month. but i have tried punishing before (time out, taken away toys/movies/games, taken away privilegeds, early bedtimes, even some of the 'bad' ones like going to bed without supper, or spankings)

and none of it seems to work. thats why i was looking at alternatives. i might even ask her doctor about the herbal supplements i was on when i was a teen. ginko biloba and st johns wart.

Please be sure to investigate any herbal supplements,it is medicine,they are not regulated and are not tested.The potential for problems is risky.
They are often counter productive,especially in regard to psychiatric problems.
Good luck hon,I know it can't be easy!

Yeah that's why I was going to ask the doctor about them. I took them as a teen (my doctor knew) but ayla is only 5. could be VERY different for her. In fact, I'm SURE it WOULD be different for her. If she can even HAVE them at this age

yeah thats why i was going to ask the doctor about them. i took them as a teen (my doctor knew) but ayla is only 5. could be VERY different for her. in fact, im SURE it WOULD be different for her. if she can even HAVE them at this age

I don't know your situation but I would always try to get a second opinion.
I have done so many times and actually spared myself a major surgical procedure by doing so.
If you are at all able to do ,get some other opinions.

I know you are being cautious,that is clear ,keep in mind,even doctors can disagree.

I would also ask him about potential allergies,which can cause many issues with kids.

I know how hard this is ,you want the best and you rely on others for information and you have to sift through what sounds good and does not.

Hang in there kid:)

Hello girls. I wanted to update you. We went to a new doctor for a second opinion like.. um.. someone suggested, sorry forgot who. Lol.
And I think I am going to STICK with this doctor. He spent 2 hours with us! Most of the first hour was simply playing with ayla. Talking to her and watching her play and how she interact with me.

Then he spent the last hour talking to me about EVERYTHING. First he said he agrees with the other doctor, she does not seem to have any ASD, or SPD types of issues.

He agreed with me that she may be ADHD, and perhapes bipolar as I am. But he feels the same as the previous doctor and feels she is too young to diagnose her for sure and wants to wait a few years before treating her with more than simple home care

He agreed with me that she has MAJOR issues with behavior. But then he pointed out something I NEVER thought of before, because I am just too air headed aparently.

He told me to tell him EVERYTHING that has happened negitively to me, her, and us since she was born...


Her biological dad left when she was 2 months old, which sent me into a depression, and my mom essentially took care of her unless I was breastfeeding for perhapes 5 months or so

When she was 1, I met a guy, lets call him chris just for fun ;) who we dated for a few months (I don't remember how long) and ayla started getting attached to him and calling him dada. However he moved away (funny he never said goodbye, jerk huh?) and we never heard from him again.

Then I met a man named matt. We dated for even longer, (2 years almost I think) we lived with him for a while, and ayla called him daddy. However, as time went by, he felt he was not ready for a child at that point in his life, though he loved us both. And he left us too. Which I completely understand. It's a hard decision to be a step parent.

Met issac when she was 3, and he moved in with us at moms house. We got married, which she was excited to be a part of and found our own place

Issac and I had A lot of issues, with his depression and my bipolar, and fought often. Then we lost the apartment after about 10 months and we moved back into moms house.

Then we found this place. Issac and I were in crisis. Issac told her that SHE was the cause of all our problems (I was so angry about that) issac and I fought and yelled and abused each other, (hitting, slapping cussing, calling each other names, it wasn't one sided, I did it too)
My bipolar was in full swing and unmedicated, (I am on meds now) so even when issac was not home, I was still tense and angry most of the time.

About 3 months later, me and issac split up (last october) and we were at my moms house, with no contact with her daddy (issac) for 6 months.

Because of school starting, ayla and I had a talk about her real father. And how her last name is different than mine and issacs. She SEEMED understanding and OK with it... but still that's a hard issue for a child to deal with.

We moved back in with issac. And issac and I started counseling and do not fight like we did. We still argue, but NOT until ayla is asleep.

Things are so much better now, and while I do see an improovement, I wasn't stepping back far enough to see the rest of it.

So... yeah... once I told the doctor everything that happened negitively, and he was writing it all down, he showed me the paper he wrote it all down on. And it was FULL of CRAP!! I couldn't believe I never thought that her behavrial issues could have been linked to her life situation/experiances. Which makes sense now, but it never did before.

He told me that she most likely IS ADHD, and we can deal with that when she is older, however for now, he suggested finding a good child psychologist for her to see once a week/once a month depending on what the psychologist says.

He said that her personality is VERY sensitive, probably because of so many upheavals in her infancy and early toddler years.

Wow thanks for listening ladies. Didn't realise this was going to be so long

So we finally have our answer. The adhd I can live with, as I have it as well, and I am relieved to know that she doesn't have any more serious issues. Perhapes now I can stop stressing out, as it seems my stressing is making her worse

Jennie, I am so glad you found a doctor who would listen to you and spend time with you and your daughter.

Now, had I, and some others, known the background, we probably would have seen the same thing.

Remember that we are role models for our children. What we do and say is represented in their actions. They are truly mirror images of us, although they may not have the language to verbalize it.

I'm glad to hear that the doc is not willing to medicate her at this point, as good parenting can sometimes correct this at such a young age.

You and "Isaac" need to learn not to argue, even if she is not around. She will still sense tension in the morning or whenever she sees you all. It may be good for all of you to get into some kind of family counseling.

Yeah I've been thinking about family counseling as well. Thanks for your advise J_9. :)

We argue and talk things out at night because I don't like going to bed angry, because if I do, I end up waking up 10 times more angry. But your right, she will feel the tension, but that's why we don't go to bed until we get it worked out, or at least agree to disagree.

You remind me of my aunt who is also a nurse (she is a cardiac intensive care nurse I think, the term might be different but you get the idea lol, she nurses the patients after heart surgery and other heart emergencys :P )

But she is always there with great advise too

Hun, it seems as though your relationship(s) are toxic. Not only to you, but to your daughter as well. Although she is in bed, I am sure she feels the tension. She may not be asleep. She may feel the tension the next day as well.

Jennie I am so pleased to hear that you have a doctor who is willing to spend quality time with you and your daughter.That is a great beginning.

Coping with a child with ADHD is a tremendous challenge and I have seen parents who have gone to support groups for answers and have found it to be a great help.

Just knowing you are not alone is helpful.

I found this link and I think this is one of the better ones that address this issue.

I hope you will find it helpful and I also think you should look in your area for any ADHD support groups.

This is a family issue after all and everyone needs to be on the same page regarding how you are going to address your daughter's specific problems.

I hope this site is useful to you and I am confidant that the information they give is accurate.

Hang in there Jen,it won't be easy but parenting rarely is.
Take care.

ADHD Information and Support to help your child (http://www.adhdnews.com/)

Hehe yeah I get the feeling that in a few years I'm going to be going to my mom and saying 'im so sorry' I had adhd too and still do (if you can't tell ;) ) and I must have put her through hell, considering I had pretty severe adhd and ayla only seems to have mild to moderate. Lol

Have you thought about possibly finding a pattern for a sling and having one made to fit your daughter? Any seamstress could make it I'm sure... and that way you could make it the specific size you wanted. Also, you could pick a fabric that your daughter would like... increasing the comfort factor

That is a great idea chicagotulips. I will look into that! Thanks

No problem!

Good Luck in your search!!