I was a friend with this chick in year 9, we used to stir {expletive removed} with people, and just muck around, but at the end of that year she started calling me 'crater face' (because of my acne) and all this other , she started treating me like , like I was worthless,
So we stopped being friends, we never talked again, only over text, and msn, ever since we stopped being friends, she would make me feel like , I started to believe it, I mean how can you not believe something that some one has said when they say it over and over again.. just look in the mirror then you see that they were right, your ugly, and no one likes you.
I was down, beyound believe, everything anyone said to me I would take it in a negative way, anything and everything.. I just couldn't stop, I was addicted to putting myself down, cause that's all I know these days..
Its been a year and a bit, I've never stopped wanting to be her friend, all threw that pain,

I'm in year 11 now, hardly no friends, no one really to talk to.
So I tried to be her friend again, maybe this pain would go away.
So were kind of talking now. But I want things to go back to how they used to be, not with the {expletive removed}stirring but when I was happy, when everything was right.. when life wasn't {expletive removed},
But I can't make any conversations, no matter how hard I try, nothing comes to my head, she says take your time, and it will go back to how it was, but I just can't think of anything to say,
I'm just so down still, I try to talk to her about it, but she doesn't want to hear my pain, she doesn't care about me there, but she wants to be friends I know it..


Uh, I don't know.


I'm not sure what I'm asking here, maybe what to do to get things right? I don't know.. I just want to be happy again, have friends again, and I want to be her friend again..

Help,

You need to learn how to love yourself!
High school is a very trying time, because hormones are flying everywhere and there's so much awkwardness and people are trying to find where they best fit in.

In high school (and life in general) people are mean just for the sake of being mean. They may not even know you and treat you like crap. But you can't internalize it and define yourself by their rude comments.

I know it's hard because she was your friend and when friends say mean things we're a lot more prone to listen to them. But someone that is constantly putting you down is NOT your friend. Have you seen the movie Elf? Are you familiar with the term Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins? Because that's exactly what your "friend" is.

You can try and reconcile if you would like, but I think it would be best to get new friends. The first step to making friends is having confidence! It's kind of like dating, except... well, not. People can sense when someone's not sure of themselves and will take advantage of it. Hold your head up and high and act like it's your right to be there just like anyone else's! Also, you also have to put yourself out there and try to be more outgoing to make friends. It's scary, but you can do it!

Do things that make you feel good about yourself, too! Are you good at drawing, or singing? Writing, or playing the guitar? Whistling? There's a myriad of things you can do that you find enjoyable! If you can't think of anything, look for exciting activities in your area: you might just meet some friends there, too!

Well, Torrid covered everything needed to address the OP well, except:

how can you not believe something that some one has said when they say it over and over again....

Well, just realize how stupid they are.

Hit them back to tell them that you aren't going to let them get away with whatever they want anymore.
This could be as simple from "you already called me 'crater face', got anything else?" to something like "yeah, what else is new?" to anything as complex as -if you're a smart as- "It would be physically impossible for there to be a crater on my face, so your comment holds no bearing."

Depending on their personality, any type of response, or maybe one different, could get them to leave you alone. It's only temporary at first, but the more you do it, the less they will insult you.

I had the same problem with a childhood friend of mine (THE SAME PROBLEM) I didn't think I was beautiful at all. I was so down but I grew to realize that I shouldn't care about what anybody else thinks, whether it's a friend or an enemy. If she can't sit down & talk to you about the problems she causes then do you really honestly think she is a good friend to have? I mean I don't know her & I'm not judging anybody but the hurt she put you through doesn't sound like something a friend would do. Just push all the negative things you think of yourself out & learn to embrace every aspect of yourself, good & bad. I did.

I no how you feel like your missing apart of you since you to were so close and everything . I hads this friends me an her were best friends for lik 5 years. Over the summer she started talking bad about me. But it didn't hurt my feeling. Because if they can't say the stuff in front of you then they no its wrong.there puttin other people down because she not happy herself. There are lots of other ways to make friends like joining a youth service it for church an you might think it wack an stuff ands that what I tough but when my mom tookin me there I had a friend to go with it was fun . They have concert an stuff. And people don't judge you there hope this helps.