My husband found my vibrator yesterday. He may have been searching through my things while I was asleep and decided to hide it. Little does he know that I know where he hid it lol. Anyway. I'm not sure if he feels uncomfortable or secretly turned on by it. He was OK. He asked me why I didn't tell him about it.. and this was followed by a lot of awkardness moments. Just before he went to work, he wanted to have sex but we didn't because we didn't have the time... could it be that he is secretly turned on by it? Curious?
How do I approach him that it's OK to have a vibo?

I have great orgasms with him. I am very sexual and he is not. That's why I bought one. This way, if he is tired, I can do it myself. I love our sex... it's just that I want more. He knows this so I don't know why he would feel weird about it...

"How do I approach him that it's ok to have a vibo?"

Just let him know in no way the vibo is going to affect both your sex life. In fact having a vibo can spice up and heighten the entire experience.

Another way is to get him to use the vibo on you. Nothing beats using the vibo on your love one.

Hope this helps.

Cripes... you actually have to hide it... and he has issues with it?

Damn what else do you two have to keep from each other for various reasons. Hell, I actually BOUGHT my wife some of her toys for her.

Just ask him. Maybe he thinks your embarrassed and don't want to talk about it. Just be forward and ask him his feelings on it. Use it together. Its great. He may love using it on you and watching your reactions. From there maybe you can purchase other toys. I can't imagine he would hate the idea of watching you pleasure yourself.

Wow. I keep forgetting about repressed people. Our relatively large toy collection is all anniversary presents over 25 years. Definitely get him to play with you.

You two need to open up a little more around each other. I like picking stuff out with my wife it's fun. We even have one that is a kit that was made from me. So she literally has a vibe of me!!

Why are you not TALKING to each other about sex?

Talk to him honestly. He loves you. He should be accepting. Plus, let him know that it can be fun for him too. My husband LOVES using the vibrator and dildo on me, or using the dildo on me while he preforms oral sex on me.

Sometimes men can feel 'well... why does she need a vibrator... am I not good enough? "

Sit down with him and talk to him about it honestly and deeply. Explain to him that he IS good enough for you. A good way to make him feel more at ease with it is to tell him that its simply for when he is at work and you are 'in the mood' then he won't feel like he is competing with it.

Talk.

Live in reality.

Personally, I love my partners little pink vibe and like the thought of her getting herself of, as well as watching her get herself off...

... as long as I'm getting a little something along the way too...

I'm going to agree with what most people here have already said. Talk to him about it. And if he knows you like the sex but need more, why would you have to hide the vibrator from him? It would be great to bring toys in the bedroom. So you should talk to him about it and maybe he'll go along with the suggestion.
Good Luck

No one here can tell you what he's thinking or how he feels. Frankly, I'm surprised you hid this from him.

Do you two communicate? Do you talk about your sexual needs? Why did you feel you had to sneak behind his back and get a toy?

Communication is the biggest thing that can make or break a relationship. If you can't talk to your partner then who can you talk to? Where is the trust? What is your relationship built on?

I have toys. I love my toys. Hubby and I buy them together. He has toys too. It's a great thing to do together. We usually go to the sex store, go off in different directions. He looks for toys for me and I look for toys for him. Then we meet in the middle and see what the other has found. We also buy toys we can both use. A sex swing is next on our list.

We use our toys together and separately. Most men love to watch a woman get herself off with a toy.

So talk to him. After all, you're married to him.

I have toys. I love my toys.

I am guilty as charged.

;)

i am guilty as charged.

Of being Altenweg's toy?

Of being Altenweg's toy?

A boy has to dream, right??

a boy has to dream, right???

It's a fantasy common enough to be in bookstores. With her on the cover barely covered.

Boys, behave. You're hijacking the thread.

Mods, I just want to point out, for once, I had nothing to do with it. I am completely innocent.

Now shoo boys. You know where to go to get your jollies. ;)

Pink Flowers, see? You don't even have to be present to play with your Mr.

I also hope the person comes back with more about hiding it. Why?? He should be with you buying and helping you using them. And just one??
Married, husband right? What about dress up outfits, and more

I agree. In a marriage. You both should be honest about each other. Sexually and every way. Why hide that you have a toy and that you enjoy masturbation. I will bet you a million dollars that your husband uses his hands to play with himself. Open up to each other. Why hide something that should be natural and fun?

I think he likes the idea, he was turned on wasn't he? This reminds me of the guy who was doing himself in the shower, and his prude wife walks in and screams " what are you doing?" He said " it's my penis and I can clean it as fast as I want !"

You two may have opened the door on some good, new, stuff, enjoy.

i think he likes the idea, he was turned on wasn't he? This reminds me of the guy who was doing himself in the shower, and his prude wife walks in and screams " what are you doing?" he said " it's my penis and i can clean it as fast as i want !"

you two may have opened the door on some good, new, stuff, enjoy.


Lol

Well. We actually have a very open relationship. He is more shy about sex than I am. He was raised in a very sheltered family. Sex isn't spoken about, I guess.
The reason I felt to hide it from him was because I didn't want to make him feel like he is not enough. I basically don't want to hurt his feelings. I also don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense? Since he is so uncomfortable talking to me about sex, I didn't want to put him on the spot.
Well. Live and learn. I asked him earlier about the whole situation. Asked him if he got offended. He said that he doesn't exactly feel too good about it but only because I hid it. :( I guess he is more willing to open up than I thought. Who knows? Maybe I'm the one who is embarrassed?

Thanks for your tips and funny remarks :)

I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense?

95% 0f men admit to masturbating , the other 5% are lying ;)

Well. We actually have a very open relationship. He is more shy about sex than I am. He was raised in a very sheltered family. Sex isn't spoken about, I guess.
The reason I felt to hide it from him was because I didn't want to make him feel like he is not enough. I basically don't want to hurt his feelings. I also don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense? Since he is so uncomfortable talking to me about sex, I didn't want to put him on the spot.
Well. Live and learn. I asked him earlier about the whole situation. Asked him if he got offended. He said that he doesn't exactly feel too good about it but only because I hid it. :( I guess he is more willing to open up than I thought. Who knows? Maybe I'm the one who is embarassed?

Thanks for your tips and funny remarks :)

I can understand that you were being sensitive to his feelings.

So, in a way it's great that the vibrator has brought things out into the open - so to speak. The thing is, it's really easy for us posters to say - talk about it - but some people find this awkward and are prudish or shyer than others about these things.

What I've found about talking, is that once you get it out into the open it's always much easier!

Good luck - and have fun exploring the vibrator and other sex toys together. It's probably the start of something new and interesting between you.

Maybe he feels like he has to try to step up his game. He might be afraid that you don't think the sex is good enough

95% 0f men admit to masturbating , the other 5% are lieing ;)

They aren't lying, they thought they were talking about fishing.

The guy is definitely feeling insecure. After all, his response upon finding the vibrator was to hide it so that his wife couldn't use it (although she knows where it is, lol). I suggest the two of you see a counselor who specializes in sexual issues, so the two of you can figure out how to get your husband a bit more at ease with sex. I hope things improve...

My wife's friends gave her a sex toy party before we got married. She asked me if I minded. I said no, not at all, as long as she doesn't get anything that's huge. After THAT, I didn't want to feel like I was shooting BBs at a moose.

My boyfriend knew I had a vibrator when we first discussed our previous sex lives. I never needed to use it in our relationship, but then he said it turned him on. I only use it when he's a part of the action.

Men generally get turned on by watching a woman masturbate.He may want to see how you get off with the vibrator and you never know,he may learn something from it :)

I'm perfectly OK with whoever I'm in bed with having a vibrator, handcuffs, blindfolds, etc. Now, tasers... I'm not a huge fan of... but anything else, I'm OK with. Sometimes, a little help isn't all that bad.

Now, tasers...I'm not a huge fan of...but anything else, I'm ok with.

That includes cattle prods, right?

That includes cattle prods, right?

Things that are NOT OK include:

Cattle prods
Tasers
Mace/pepper spray
Lighters
Any sharp objects
Battery acid

So on and so forth.

But in all seriousness, I feel that having a vibrator is really no problem... many couples have sex toys in the bedroom and utilize it together for both their enjoyment. Communicate with your husband about this.

I say: get a tiny one that is a lot smaller than he is. Or get one that's not phallic-shaped at all (finger vibe, bullet, rubber duckie vibe). Go shopping for vibrators together. Get other toys together. Ask him to use it on you. Use it on him. Ask for his permission the next time you want to use it. Use it when you are talking to him on the phone. Use it while he watches. Tell him the whole time how much better he feels in you/touching you/tell him you're imagining he's the one touching you.

Or... stalk around his things, find his Fleshlight, and ask him to show you how that works ;-) lol

My boyfriend found my vibrator one day... I still can't tell if he was more amused or turned on...

Why were you hiding this to begin with? He probably wonders why you didn't take him along when you bought it. Probably would have been fun.

I think the best thing is to talk more about what you like and fantasies.

I've got to agree with most of the people here, I wouldn't have a problem with my girl having a vibrator, I wouldn't take it as an insult to my capabilities but instead another way to give her pleasure. But I would worry if she hid it. It would make me ask why she was hiding it. Wonder if I wasn't good enough and she just didn't want to tell me.

As for him wanting sex afterward, I think it's more a case that you hiding your vibrator made him lose confidence in his abilities (Which was what you tried to prevent by hiding it in the first place) and he was trying to prove himself, to show that you didn't need it.

You have to be more open, it was through trying to avoid making things a awkward by lying, that you ended up making things awkward.

Now if that vibrator was almost as big as a prostetic leg... then maybe it would start to affect my ego.