Me and this guy I have known for over a year have been talking pretty regularly lately, and we enjoy it. He usually ends our conversations with, "Goodnight, ____, and sleep well. I will talk to you tomorrow. Hope to see you soon!" When we hang out with our mutual friends, he always sits by me, drives me around, stands/hovers around me, follows me, touches me, inviting me over, etc. He's made it pretty obvious he likes me, and I like him too. He also asked me last week to stop by his work because "Distractions are appreciated" because he works such long hours.


Well, last Thursday, me, him, and friends were hanging out again, and everything was going VERY WELL. Sparks between us were flying like crazy, and everyone notices it, and would ask me when we was away, "Hey, are ya'll dating?" I would say no, but hopefully soon. Later that night, one of my guy friends pulled him aside as me and the guy were walking next to each other to talk to him. I didn't know what was being said, so I kept walking. When they were finished, the guy was automatically back by my side, and everything was fine. I then found out later that my friend asked him if he likes me, and said that he replied quickly and immediately with "no" before he could finish the sentence. I'm trying to decide if he genuinely doesn't like me, or he didn't tell him because my guy friend is a blabber mouth.


Last night, I asked him if he wanted to see a movie while we were online, the first time we've talked since my friend asked him. He had originally gotten off, but came back on when I sent him a message to come back. He said he had other plans, but would try to make it, but he might be too tired. But conversation was...strained. We generally talk freely and A LOT, but it was very awkward. He was answering with one word answers, like he wasn't interested in talking. I felt like I did something, so I asked if I "creeped" him out by asking him to the movies, and he replied, "You definitely do not creep me out. Lol." But it was still really strained afterwards. A few minutes later he said, "Goodnight," and that was it, and stayed on messenger 30 minutes longer.


What's going on? Does he not like me? I'm really confused...

Don't be confused, just back up a bit, and do something that doesn't involve him for a while. Your just to close to be objective, and he is not an aggressive guy, with the ladies apparently. If your absence doesn't make him seek you out, then you will have your answer.

It sounds like he has cold feet. Let it go right now, and now see what happens. Sounds like he likes you, but a little scared. Do your own thing, and then let him take it from there. Maybe he is just one of the shy guys. You never know friendship can turn into something, so just be his friend right now, and see where it goes.

If you are such good friends,there should be no problem asking him what is up.If it is not going to go anywhere,you deserve to know.
Tell him you don't want to pressure him but you wonder if there is any future for the two of you.Down the line.

I think that your friend scared him off by asking him if he liked you.

Your guy might have been enjoying the friendship, enjoying your company and now he feels like there are expectations and that everyone's eyes are on him waiting for him to make the next move.

I wouldn't push it. See how it goes and try to act the same as always. Act as if things are normal between you. If the conversation continues to be strained you could mention it and ask him if everything is OK.

I'd suggest you also ask your other friends to back off for a while.

He did like a 360!
He called me about 20 minutes ago asking if I would like to go to a movie!

But, he invited a mutual girl friend of our group that no one is really fond of. What's interesting, though, is that she wasn't present at the last Thursday outing with the group, and didn't see us together that night. Maybe this is a good sign?

She's the only one he invited besides me, and had told me on numerous occasions he isn't fond of her because she has no manners. >.>

Also, to make something a little more clear: we've known each other for over a year, but more of just "acquaintance friends" than "close friends." We just recently started to really get to know each other.

Thank you so much for ya'lls answers! What to do think of the situation now? Is there hope?

Well if he is inviting you and another friend, that is the grounds to establish that you are friends, I wouldn't read too much into, because if he wanted to get exclusively into you he would just have invited you. Or maybe he just lack effective communication, and wouldn't know what to say if you were alone. I wouldn't read too much into it. Either way. The relevancy is that he invited you and another person.

Maybe he is more comfortable in a group setting, or wants to see how you interact, with other females. Hard to say, as that's a pretty unique way of dating, two females. Hard to comment on that as he may not want anyone to talk about who he is pursuing. Could he feel he needs a "chaperon". Hmmm!

Getting these mixed signals sounds annoying and a waste of your time. Do not play this game, it will only make more you confused because you're trying to figure things out.

If he wants to talk or hang out, he will ask, so be patient. In the meantime, try not to make this guy your source of fun and have a blast without him.

So... I went to the movie. My friend we both hate wasn't the only one there. He invited his boss and a couple of his co-workers, all who've grown up with him, and are good friends. I'd never met any of them, so it was a little awkward at first, especially because our mutual friend was glomming onto him.

He kept touching my hair, and saying things like, "Man, I'm burning up...here, feel my face," and would grab my hand and put it against it. Whenever I was leaving his house, where we all went for a few minutes afterwards, he hugged one of his co-worker-friends who was a girl and just had surgery, telling to get well soon, and it was nice seeing her after so long.

He then hugged me tightly for a while, to the point that the girl friend we both have was like, "Guys, maybe you need to get a room." This is the first time he's ever hugged me. He didn't hug our friend.

I guess I'll have to wait and see where this goes...

He sent me an email saying, "Hey, I'm really glad you came to the movies. Did you have a good time?"

First email he's ever written me.
*crosses fingers*

Well, I answered the email and told him a little awkward for me since I didn't know his friends, and he responded "Don't worry, you'll be seeing more of them and soon ya'll will be best buds!" He said some other things, too, like me stopping by to see him at work later this week, and how I don't have to pay him back for the movie ticket he bought me.

Just waiting now, I suppose...

Well, I answered the email and told him a little awkward for me since I didn't know his friends, and he responded "Don't worry, you'll be seeing more of them and soon ya'll will be best buds!" He said some other things, too, like me stopping by to see him at work later this week, and how I don't have to pay him back for the movie ticket he bought me.

Just waiting now, I suppose...

Sounds hopeful! Take it easy and get on with doing things in your life. Don't sit round waiting!

Sounds hopeful! Take it easy and get on with doing things in your life. Don't sit round waiting!


You're exactly right! I meant waiting in the sense of seeing where this goes. When I look back on how I used to handle my relationships (I would let them consume me completely), I'm really making an effort to not be clingy and still have a life outside of the relationship. I'm proud, because I've made a lot of progress since my last devastating break-up, but I know there's still a ways to go. Nevertheless, I'll make it, and my future relationships will be better for it!

Thank you so much for your responses! I really appreciate it. :)

Okay, so we had talked about me coming to visit him at work today a couple of days ago, so I went.

We talked for about 30 minutes, and I had a to leave, but he kept hinting at hanging out soon. I couldn't tell if he meant alone with me or not.

My question is, should I invite him to go see a movie with me and me alone, and possibly make my feelings for him known? Or is it too soon?

We've only been talking 3 weeks.

But I also found out some interesting information: it took him almost a year to ask out a girl, and his ex girlfriend had to tell her she liked him!

So should I take the initiative, or let him? Or am I being too impatient? Bah.

Any thoughts?

No one has any thoughts or suggestions? :(

We've only been talking 3 weeks.


Better to slow down, and get to know him, and at this point, its up to him to get his courage up, and take some risks. Yes its to early to focus on just him, and way to early to just jump in.

I would suggest, not making him the center of the universe just yet, and have your own social life, outside of what he does.

That keeps you balanced, and your view of the reality you live in sharp perspective.

Nothing wrong with asking him to lunch though, just the two of you.

Better to slow down, and get to know him, and at this point, its up to him to get his courage up, and take some risks. Yes its to early to focus on just him, and way to early to just jump in.

I would suggest, not making him the center of the universe just yet, and have your own social life, outside of what he does.

That keeps you balanced, and your view of the reality you live in sharp perspective.

Nothing wrong with asking him to lunch though, just the two of you.

Oh, I didn't mean to make it seem he's my universe or anything. I got out with just me and my friends, with my family or just by myself quite a lot. I only see him generally once a week because he works long hours, but sometimes twicw because he asks me to come see him. We generally get to talk on the phone or internet.

He makes me nervous, is all, and I'm afraid that he's telling me loud and clear that he doesn't like me and I'm not getting it. :/ That's why I seem frantic, I guess. I don't want to be the fool. :(

But I completely understand what you're saying and I'm definitely more aware of how easy it is to neglect other aspects of your life when smitten. I've done that before and I don't want to go down that road again!

I have learned its best not to rush things. Things can develop on their own, and paying attention to your own clear instincts, is often a wise thing to remember.

But I also know that feeling good can lead you to want more of that feel good.

Just keep your wits about you, smitten or not.

Hey guys! Just a little update!

I was taking my little brother (he's 12) to buy a new video game, and we stopped by to see the guy for a few moments since I felt bad he was working in such hot weather.

For the first time, I was relaxed. I went and saw him without worrying about how I look or what to say. I guess you could say I approached it like "if he likes me, great, if he doesn't, that's fine, too."

So we get to talking and he mentioned he was going to be running some errands after work later. And then...he invited me to come along! :O

This is the first time we're going to spend time alone together!

Now, I know it's not a date or anything, and he may very well not like me, but it's exciting because we're progressing in some sort of relationship, whether it's friendship or not!

I'm just shocked! I didn't go there expecting or even wanting him to ask me anywhere; but the one day I "bum out" and don't care about anything, he asks.

I'm excited! I thought I would let you guys know how things are progressing! I'll update more after I get back tonight! :)

Thank you for the continuous support!

Okay, so I'm back from our errand-running.

It was really great! We laughed a lot and there were no awkward silences. We seemed to connect extremely well!

He started talking about relationships, about how he wants to be in a relationship where he and her both have room to breathe so they don't neglect their friends and other aspects of their lives. I completely agreed, and as we talked about relationships, he agreed sincerely with points I had.

As we talked about mistakes we've made in the past (neglecting friends, being too clingy, whatever) that we don't want to make again, and I mentioned that I wished my last boyfriend would have stood up for me more and would have fought for me. He replied, "Yeah, I'm definitely a fighter."

But before this, he was talking about how a lot of college guys don't like being tied down because it subconsciously causes them to alienate themselves from things that are important to them. He went on to say that if there was a nice girl that he liked to hang out with, he would date her, but it wouldn't be extremely serious because people change in college.

Like I said, we connected really well, and he asked me to come over to his house sometime to watch a movie while on the way to do errands, but I'm afraid he was telling me he wasn't interested. I'm not sure.

In any case, I really respect him and the opinions he shared with me on various topics.

Do you think he was telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship? I'm not sure how to look at this.

He is telling you he is interested in you, but don't get to deeply emotionally involved, because he has other interests too. Understandable. He may be dating/hang out material, but for now forget exclusive relationships, that too, is understandable.

Its much to soon for even thinking that way, so keep a reasonable distance, to protect yourself from falling to fast into that relationship trap. Have fun getting to know him, YES! Fantasize about more, NO!!

I think he is interested in you and he sounds like he's got his head on straight, because people do change in college and they should. There's a lot of growing and learning to be done.

This sounds like the beginning of a "relationship" whether it's friendship or romantic... time will tell.

Being in a serious, exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship might not be what this guy has in mind. He may just want to enjoy college and all that it has to offer without the drama of a girlfriend nagging him not to go out with his friends so much, etc.

I think it all sounds like good fun so just enjoy this time without overanalyzing what he's thinking. Men and women at this age can change their minds overnight on how they view relationships.

He is telling you he is interested in you, but don't get to deeply emotionally involved, because he has other interests too. Understandable. He may be dating/hang out material, but for now forget exclusive relationships, that too, is understandable.

Its much to soon for even thinking that way, so keep a reasonable distance, to protect yourself from falling to fast into that relationship trap. Have fun getting to know him, YES! Fantasize about more, NO!!!


You're straightforward and blunt! Me likey! :)

I'm actually quite enjoying getting to know him better: it's refreshing since my past relationships were really rushed. Not saying we're going to ever date, but I think you get me.

I'm really doing well, I think! I've successfully been carrying on with a life outside of him, and that makes me feel really great and accomplished, especially because I had clingy issues in the past.

He just called and invited me to see Harry Potter with some friends, and told me I'm sitting by him. Haha. This is fun. :)

Thank you for your wonderful answer: it keeps me focused!

I think he is interested in you and he sounds like he's got his head on straight, because people do change in college and they should. There's a lot of growing and learning to be done.

This sounds like the beginning of a "relationship" whether it's friendship or romantic...time will tell.

Being in a serious, exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship might not be what this guy has in mind. He may just want to enjoy college and all that it has to offer without the drama of a girlfriend nagging him not to go out with his friends so much, etc.

I think it all sounds like good fun so just enjoy this time without overanalyzing what he's thinking. Men and women at this age can change their minds overnight on how they view relationships.

He does have his head on straight: I'm truly impressed. He knows where he wants to go in life and is willing to work hard to get there. I think that's great, because a lot of people in college don't have any idea!

You're absolutely right: I just need to enjoy this time and have fun getting to know him... and I have to admit, it IS fun! I have a lot of guy friends, but I never really hung out with them alone and got to know them... it was always with friends. But this is really interesting and entertaining.

I don't want a really serious relationship, anyway. We're too young to be able to commit like graduated people are. If we date casually, that's cool, and if we stay friends, that's fine, too.

Sounds like you have your head on straight, too! Getting out there and meeting new people is fun, enjoyable and you can learn about yourself that way.

Variety is the spice of life... : ) Have fun

Thank you very much!

And you're right, I am learning about myself. A LOT about myself. It's a little frightening! XD

Just updating; I don't expect anyone to answer if they don't want to!

We went and saw Harry Potter last night (which was amazing! My favorite HP movie ever!) and yes, he did sit by me. We joked and laughed, he gave me his jacket when I was cold, touched me repeatedly (hair, shoulders, put his arm on mine), and we linked arms during the movie, too! :D

It was just a great night of him giving me a lot of attention and hugs. I liked it. Haha. >:3

Slowly but surely, and you'll win the race! :)

Hay,great news and thanks for the update!
It sounds like things are progressing at a good rate,not too fast and not too slow.
Have fun :)

Sounds good, and your on the right track. Enjoy the time you spend together...

Well guys, it looks like our good time has come to an end.

Me and one of my friends got into an argument last Tuesday, and it went from her accusing me of things concerning my medical issues, to my religion, to the boy that this thread is about.

My friend dated this guy 4 times (she kept breaking up with him). They broke up the last time over 2 years ago, and she's been dating her current boyfriend for almost 2 years.

Well, in the beginning, she was telling me how happy she was since this is the first guy I've been interested in since my ex broke up with me over 4 months ago. She was helping me get to know some about him, etc.

During the fight, she tells me that he's not a good match for me and that he just wants to sleep with me and doesn't care about relationships (to which I said to her, "Oh, is that what stopped you from dating him 4 times?"). As you can imagine, I wasn't a happy camper.

The next day after our fight, she went with another one of our friends and saw him at work. He asked her where I was, and she told him I don't like him and I didn't want to go see him. Later that night she gloated about visiting him on her FB.

I've tried talking to him since I found out... but we only got to talk 2 minutes online, and then he said he's been really busy so he'd have to go. He said he would talk to me later, but he hasn't been. We haven't talked in a while.

I'm angry as all get out. My "friend" is a whore. What a moron. She's told me before she's jealous of me, but I didn't really think it would lead to anything. Me and my friend haven't talked since.

So yes, me and the boy are done. I'm not even sure if we're friends anymore.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, I know, but I think I'm most mad because not only did I lose a potential boyfriend, but a good friend in general. I'm not so upset we probably won't date, because college starts up again in like 3 weeks, but it erks me my "friend" did something so mean.

Gah. Oh well. I like being single anyway.

Gah. Oh well. I like being single anyway.

Better to be happily single than in a dysfunctional relationship :)

Better to be happily single than in a dysfunctional relationship :)

The more I think about it, the more I think it was for the best.

I was able to spot a bad friend's true colors, and the guy, I've noticed, is a raging workaholic. I doubt he would have set aside extra time for me, anyway. He's missing out, but that's his problem, not mine.

Besides, although I'm pretty much over my ex, I think it might be a little too soon for me to get into another relationship right now. Plus, I just transferred to a new college, so I think it would be best for me to find friends first before a boyfriend, which would limit my options.

So all in all, life's good. :)

Good for you Torrid :)

Besides isn't AMHD your new boyfriend ;)

Sorry to hear about all this, but you know what they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies. And, my first thought about him was, why didn't he just talk to you about what your "friend" said.

All in all, you tested the waters.

You're smart, you're going to be fine.

Oh, Friend, you certainly know how to make me blush! :3


Thank you, Survivor. I thought the same thing, too. But I think it's kind of telling of how he is as a person, anyway.

Yessirree, I tested the waters and got stung by a jellyfish. Luckily, I have AMHD to pee on me during such times! XD

Oh, Friend, you certainly know how to make me blush! :3


Thank you, Survivor. I thought the exact same thing, too. But I think it's kind of telling of how he is as a person, anyway.

Yessirree, I tested the waters and got stung by a jellyfish. Luckily, I have AMHD to pee on me during such times! xD

LOL... I love it

My horrible friend spent the whole day with the guy.

The guy that to her is the anti-christ.

I am so angry. I'm not sure why. I'm just so angry. I don't cry very often, but I'm so angry I just want to cry. I don't understand why I feel this way.

He never meant anything to her until she found out I liked him, and suddenly she has to do everything in her power to make sure him and me don't happen. And then she GLOATS about it. SHE GLOATS ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH HIM WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE.

I'm sorry. I don't understand why I'm so angry.

It's just normal Torri , your Ego/self esteem has just taken a little hit that's all. Soon you won't even care about it.

Chin Up :)

I'm pretty, extremely talented, horrendously smart, and accomplished more in one year of high school than she did her entire high school career! AHHHHH!!

I'm funny, I'm athletic, I'm kind, I'm a good friend...

It's just not fair. I'm so tired of being pushed off to the side, and being backstabbed when I'm there for people. My ex's have done it, my friends have done it...

I know life isn't fair, and I'm not in some dream world about how the world works, but you know, it would be really nice to be appreciated. I'm so sick of this.

I appreciate you. Mmhmm

I need hugs.

Which is scary, because I never really hug.

:(

22560

Thanks, Friend. :) *hugglies*

Wow... just read the whole story... sux...

I guess its true, good friends are hard to find...

Hope you'll feel better soon, and if you still feel like exploding people, I'm here to help... :)

I would love to explode some people...

You bring the gasoline and I'll bring the matches...

I would love to explode some people...

You bring the gasoline and I'll bring the matches...

Gasoline? Yeah right... C4 baby, C4... :D

I like how you think! ;)

Gasoline? Weaksauce. c4? A little... overboard.

Fertilizer. Mhmm. Thank me later.

Gasoline? Weaksauce. c4? A little... overboard.

Fertilizer. Mhmm. Thank me later.

gasoline? weaksauce. c4? a little...overboard.

fertilizer. mhmm. thank me later.

Lol... you are just Mr All Natural aren't you?

First with the eye drops and now with the fertilizer?

We need some cool technology stuff...

gasoline? weaksauce. c4? a little...overboard.

fertilizer. mhmm. thank me later.

I chose gasoline because it's pretty much what I know about starting fires, and I would feel like I did something in the process.

I'm a hands-on kind of girl. :)

Fertilizer? Like, because of the gasses it emits? Or putting a whole bunch in their vehicle? XD

Fertilizer is a good explosive if mixed with other chemicals and it turns for a while too... but in their vehicle sounds like a nice idea too...

Damn... so much choice, so little time... ;)

Oh, the things I learn on AMHD!

I need to start making notes!

A picture is worth a thousand words... so just draw a picture of what would want to do... :)

I'm definitely going to be using stick figures because they are not worth my real artistic abilities.

BUUUUURRRNN!

In the words of Usher... "I think that you should let it burn"...

Haha... I never waste my artistic abilities on anything... I'm just too good... so good that I don't draw at all... :cool:

I think that this person felt bad because you guys where very close and you did not ask directly if he like`s you or not you went to some one else in stead. You should be a nice friend and be clear of what you are asking. Don`t be afraid ask him directly what are your confusion and if he really is a good friend he should understand.

This thread's almost 2 years old.