PREGNANT AND UN
Jul 1, 2009, 08:22 AM
I am currently pregnant and I am debating on putting the father’s name on the birth certificate. The father and I were married about 6 years ago. We have been divorced for about 4 years ago. When we went through the divorce, there were a lot of custody issues. He wanted his family to raise her since he works and is unable to get her. They would have rather pass her around different family members than to have her raised by her mother, all because she was the first grand child. I wanted her to have a stable life with me. They were arguing that "family" keeping her was better than me putting her in daycare while I was at work. This "family" they were referring to was a different person, when they could. Nothing would have been consistent. Of course, this did not happen, the court ruled against it, but it was very expensive and VERY hard. And, although we did not have to go there, but his family has a lot of heavy drinkers that can easily be called ALOCHOLICS. I can not afford to go through that again. I think that I am the best choice for my children. And not to mention, my 4 year old daughter caught her father in bed with another woman having sexual intercourse. On his weekends to see her, if he could not get someone to keep her, he would take her with him. He would bring her home with out a car seat, unbuckled. One time he was drinking when he brought her home, and one time, he got a ticket bringing her home. He did not have her in a car seat and was speeding. My question is, if I put him on the birth certificate, what right does this give him? Will I have to give him visitation right away or at all? Now, I am pregnant again by him. We have been trying to work things out for our daughter, but I get the feeling that as soon as my son is born, he is going to try to take him and run. He has said this and you can tell by his attitude. This is a boy, the first boy in 25 years; I know that if it comes down to it, they will try to keep him. Last time, even with the divorce in place, they would call some time and say that they were going to keep my daughter additional time because they wanted to. I would have to petition the court to try to get her back. All this, even though we had a final divorce decree that had everything spelled out. I want to avoid this. How can I avoid this? Please advise me? Please help, I only have a few more days to decide.