My name is DJ. I am 59. Her name's Michele, 32.

We started dating 11 months ago and fell in love. She has some mental issues. 50 tests in one day, insisting on a baby, while she has 3, all from different men.

So in February, after enduring her continued rants and cussing rages with her 4, 8, and 12 year old,I started to look elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, she is beautiful, but a b----!

After finding out we are pregnant, and me acting like an idiot for 3 months, and leaving because she is a toughie and I am a softee, I find myself living in an apartment 2 miles away from here home. (she wanted me here). And now what used to be 2 times a day is now once a week. Not feeling the love here. I have never been unfaithful. Just could not take the yelling and cussing.

I do love her and have been trying ever since I left to have her open her heart again but because her first man rejected and beat her, and her dad beat her also, she has switched to indifferent and tells me to find another woman. Repeatedly.

Before I throw in the towel, I visited her shrink last week and acknowledged my bad attitude previously and explained I would try no matter what to get her back.

She tells me it cannot happen overnight, and maybe never. Just says she in indifferent now.

So, 1- Do I keep trying?
2-Let go and be another departed dad like the other 3?
3-Take her advice and start looking?

HELP.

DJ Myers

Let her be.

You trying will probably fuel all her anger and negativity towars you and everything around her. What I've learned is, one person that puts their heart and soul in a relationship will fall in time, no matter how hard you try. Reason is, the other person has to be willing to do the same.

I know you love her and you want to try, but the best thing you can do for both of you, is to stay away and give her space.

DJ, you're nearly sixty, but there's no fool like an old fool is there?

Please don't be offended - but she's nearly half your age, she has anger issues and she has 3 children that all have different fathers.

Was this not a red flag for you? And you continued to have unprotected sex?

I don't think that you're on a winner here - this woman sounds like trouble, and you sound like you're soft in the head for putting up with her. Well, now she's having your child so you'll have to put up with her until she finds someone else - and it will happen.

I'd keep my distance if I were you - hurt and pain is just around the corner with her.

Regardless of your age, your responsibilities do NOT including living with insanity. They don't.

You're pregnant now, so you are tied to this girl's hip for the next 18 years, but not romantically.

You will acknowledge and BE a father to your child, you will be civil and calm and unnerved by this girl. That's all she can expect and you will give that whole-heartedly.

But you won't subject yourself to craziness. No need for that.

Be a father to your child and civil to the baby mother for your child's sake. Go to court after the child is born or before, and get visitation and child support taken care of first.

A agree with everyone on this. Be in your child's life and try not to let the baby mama drama get to you. Like Rome said, go to court and have all of the particulars taken care of early.

2-Let go and be another departed dad like the other 3?


That's her pattern, and it was plain to see, so why should you be any different. Pay the support, and be a great dad at least, and don't repeat the craziness, by being blind to the obvious.