Asking is not an option. Web is only option...

Why can't you ask?

It's a bit suspicious.

Well because I need to find out the maiden name, so I can call every number in stillwater Oklahoma to see if they may of may not know the sister of the girl I am in love with, then if they do ask for the address because my love is staying there for a few weeks. Send her flowers, and a card telling her how much she means to me... and all this effort is for a maybe.

And hopefully win her back and convince her I am the guy for her...

well becuase i need to find out the maiden name, so i can call every number in stillwater oklahoma to see if they may of may not know the sister of the girl i am in love with, then if they do ask for the adress becuase my love is staying there for a few weeks. Send her flowers, and a card telling her how much she means to me... and all this effort is for a maybe.

Why can't you just ask her where she is?

Still sounds fishy. If she wanted you to know where she is wouldn't she tell you?

Well we have been long distance relationship and I want to surprise her. We broke up and I feel I need to prove myself to her, I told her this is the last thing I do, I promise. Pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremely romantic how I send her flowers when I am in Kentucky and she in Oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

well we have been long distance relationship and i want to surprise her. We broke up and i feel i need to prove myself to her, i told her this is the last thing i do, i promise. pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremly romantic how i send her flowers when i am in kentucky and she in oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

If she broke up with you then let her be.

This is a bad idea, sounds like stalking and not at all appropriate.

Like I said, if she wanted you to know where she is, she'd tell you.

Let her be. When and if she wants to talk to you she will.

well we have been long distance relationship and i want to surprise her. We broke up and i feel i need to prove myself to her, i told her this is the last thing i do, i promise. pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremly romantic how i send her flowers when i am in kentucky and she in oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

If you did that to me I'd freak out and definitely not think it was "romantic". You need to wait until she comes back home. Yes, I know it will be hard, but if you DO find out just where she is staying you will definitely freak her out big time. Better not do it.

I know she loves me, and I know where she is at just not specifically. And she would tell me if I asked. I just want to surprise her. This will be my only effort to get her to come back. I know she is strong. I won't just give up on something special. People give up all the time. I can't lose her. Not yet. I lover her. She knows that. She wants someone who can be there for her and I will. There is a gnawing pain in my heart without her, its getting worse. I think she is merely scared. I want to be her superman. So maybe it is freaky, I will give you that, but she loves me for who I am and the things I do so I am asking for your help. Help me convince the girl I love I am the man for her...

i know she loves me, and i know where she is at just not specifically. and she would tell me if i asked. i just want to surprise her. This will be my only effort to get her to come back. I know she is strong. I won't just give up on somthing special. People give up all the time. I can't lose her. not yet. I lover her. She knows that. She wants someone who can be there for her and i will. There is a gnawing pain in my heart without her, its getting worse. I think she is mearly scared. I want to be her superman. So maybe it is freaky, i will give you that, but she loves me for who i am and the things i do so i am asking for your help. Help me convince the girl i love i am the man for her...

Sorry, no help from me.

Maybe someone else will decide this is a good idea, but I'm out.

Good luck.

Yeah - sounds kind of stalkerish to me. Sorry dude... skip the surprise.

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think I shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think i shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?

No, I don't. The only thing that comes from following your heart is heartache. If you come off as a stalker, you stand NO chance in this.

My heart is already in pain. It causes me to feel naseuse and my stomach hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing I tried. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and I have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

My heart is already in pain. it causes me to feel naseuse and my stomache hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing i tryed. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and i have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

Listen to when you just said.

You know it sounds wrong, but, but, but.

If it sounds wrong that's because it is.

She left. She broke up with you. Go to no contact, leave her be. If it's meant to be it will be, but back off now.

What's it going to take? A restraining order?

My heart is already in pain. it causes me to feel naseuse and my stomache hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing i tryed. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and i have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

Dude - she dumped you. Get over it and move on with your life. She doesn't want to be with you. If she did, you would know how to find her.

Ok, so I read something that Rome had on another post today, but I can't remember which one. But his said something along the lines of "if your arm was broken would you use it?" to suggest that you probably shouldn't use your heart when it's broken.

(Sorry Rome. I botched it all up).

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think i shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?


Both your heart and your head will be put in jail for stalking - or both will be very damaged by whatever happens next.

Every stalker says the same thing - "But he/she was always so NICE to me. I didn't think they'd mind if I <fill the blank in here>." Didn't Mark Chapman tell the Police what a nice guy John Lennon was?

It's over. Move on.

I can't drive to her house. I can't see her. Its not stalking. If she asks me to stop I will, because I love her. But I know that she loves me back, that's where the persistans is comes from

I can't drive to her house. I can't see her. Its not stalking. if she asks me to stop i will, because i love her. but i know that she loves me back, thats where the persistans is comes from

SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU!!

She doesn't love you, she left you. If she loved you she'd still be with you.

This is all in your head and you won't let it go. That's why there's a problem.

She doesn't want to see you. Why do you think she left, didn't tell you where she is, no number, no address, nothing.

If that isn't clear then what will it take to make it clear?

Just because you can't physically stalk her doesn't mean you aren't a stalker. I'd bet money that you would be driving by her house, sending her stuff, calling her, texting her, following her if you could.

Walk away. Get help. Move on!

Just out of curiosity... how old are you?

I can't drive to her house. I can't see her. Its not stalking. if she asks me to stop i will, because i love her. but i know that she loves me back, thats where the persistans is comes from


Do I have this right? You were in a long distance relationship, maybe internet, who knows. She broke up with you. She is visiting her sister. Your relationship was so shallow that you don't know her maiden name. She has not contacted you. She is not responding to whatever means you used to use to contact her.

You love her and you "know" she loves you back.

Apparently permanently breaking up with you is her way of proving her love.

I see the Police in your future - stalking isn't just driving past a house.

I think - and I'm not being flippant - that you need to talk to someone in a mental health care capacity to see why you aren't letting this go.

And I assume you mean persistence. How old are you? How old is she?

And, no, flowers from a long distance when I didn't provide you with delivery information would most definitely NOT be romantic in my eyes and, in fact, would freak me out.

I agree that you are unable, and/or unwilling to know when something is over, and you are not accepting that your relationship with this girl IS over.

The problem now is not that you are unable to satisfy yourself in finding her, the problem is you are obsessing about it, not being reasonable or logical, and I presume if you are over 18, this is not the first time you've been in this predicament with women.

It is important for you to learn what a relationship is. It is about balance and respect. When the relationship fails for whatever reason, there is a terrible imbalance in how you perceive yourself to still be active in her life, when she obviously does not wish you in hers.

Respect comes in when you cross that boundary too, and are in fact, being disrespectful and not regarding 'no means no'. She is entitled to do as she pleases, and you are not respecting her right to privacy by trying to find ways to invade it.

Realtionships fail. They don't sort of fail, or not quite fail, or fail according to how you perceive things to be. The relationship is over. O-V-E-R!!

There is nothing left. No friendship, no contact, nothing. For you to perceive that there is something there because you can't get over it, indicates you likely need help before you go too far, and find yourself at the receiving end of a stalking charge, or restraining order.

Please go and talk to somebody about this. You need to learn the basic dynamics of a healthy relationship, how to accept that it is over, and how to go on with your life with your feelings intact. Your view of a relationship is not healthy.

We are only sixteen. She has no maiden name, I don't know her mothers maiden name. We text every day, talk on the phone at night, see each other every couple of weeks. She says when she is with them everyhting is perfect she says I am perfect. She loves me. She just thinks she isn't strong enough to do a long distance. I know she is, she is stronger then me. Anyway please no one else respond to this, my heart is terrible pain and I really don't want everyone telling me I'm a stalking freak. Or I'm to young, so no one respond to this, I really just don't think anyone is helping me right now. I'll suffer in silence next time.

If you don't want answers and opinions, don't post on a public board.

If you want to hear from people who agree with you, talk to your relatives.

Otherwise - advice given and you should take it.

We are only sixteen. She has no maiden name, i don't know her mothers maiden name. We text every day, talk on the phone at night, see each other every couple of weeks. She says when she is with em everyhting is perfect she says i am perfect. she loves me. She just thinks she isn't strong enough to do a long distance. I know she is, she is stronger then me. Anyways please no one else respond to this, my heart is terrible pain and i really don't want everyone telling me im a stalking freak. Or i'm to young, so no one respond to this, i really just don't think anyone is helping me right now. I'll suffer in silence next time.

You don't have the right to ask that we stop responding. You posted on a public board, now it's public domain.

Why didn't she give you the information if she still wants to talk to you?

Don't you see it?

She's doing no contact, you just aren't willing to accept it.

Your posts are alarming, You aren't willing to listen to reason. I understand, I was 16 once too, but still, when something makes sense, maybe it's time to listen.

You're not a freak, but you are acting like a stalker.

I call them like I see them. If I'm wrong then tell me why.

I... know I'm not like all the other guys... I don't like sports... I don't wear baggy pants... I believe in being a gentlemen... I cry when I am upset... I care about people... I like to listen... she loved me for that... she said it was to hard to stop talking to me... I can still fell the warmth of her skin against my arms. She was perfect. She was mine. I know she loved me. I know she loves me. I have given her her privacy I don't text her twenty-four seven, I haven't text her for a week or so. When I first text her seven months ago a day hasn't gone by that we haven't text. When I first met her things we so easy with her, they came natural. I have never been that way with a girl. Even. Most guys thought she was just OK looking, I thought she was beautiful... I'm sorry. I couldn't type this without tears in my eyes... I had a dream before I met her. It was me and a dark haired girl. And I was holding her and she was sad because we lived far away. Looking back, my Elisabeth was that girl. She is truly the girl of my dream...

Get over it man... its over. Welcome to the first of life's many tough lessons...

Sometimes people don't feel the same way you do. No... she doesn't. If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. It's that simple and that's all there is to it.

First loves are the worst. I was about your age when my first love dumped me. I was sad and whiney and whistful and all that emo crap. Then you know what? My second love came along.