mkeblusek
Jun 19, 2009, 06:44 PM
Hi,
I had an order of protection placed upon me over 1 year ago. It stated no contact with my wife, and supervised visitation only on Tuesdays and Saturday. Well, that lasted about 1 and a half months, then we began going places together, I was invited into the house (hundreds of times in the last 9 months alone) as well as her letting me take my son to my residence when she was working including Saturdays and Sundays.
So essentially her Order of Protection was for her convenience when she wanted to keep my son from me, but when she needed my help with him I picked him up, stayed at the house with him. Or took him to my residence to care for him. There was also many overnight stays at the house and even has sexual relations with her.
Now she wants to continue the divorce process and retain the original terms of the Order of Protection. Since she initiated and agreed to change the terms of the Order what are my options to make the Order invalid?
This subject has come up before on this board and the answer to your question can vary from state to state. From what some have mentioned here, restraining orders in some states are automatically mutual and, as I recall, in some places they may automatically cancel if the protected party invites contact. Neither is true in California, where I practice. Here, restraining orders are never mutual and cannot be made mutual even by agreement of the parties unless the court makes specific findings that each party acted primarily as an aggressor and not in self-defense. Second, invited contact never cancels the order.
So, in California you would have violated the order multiple times.
Best to check with a local attorney about having the ordered rescinded or modified.
I live in Illinois, what resources can I use to find the answer. I cannot afford an attorney right now!
Thanks Cadillac59!
In the state of Illinois, when the Petitioning Party has invited and encouraaged contact with me and my son, can this be rescinded easily?
I am able to prove this easily by 9 months of Text and Phone records at the same time each day when she finished work and I had to drop off my son. I also have many witnesses including adult aged children children and step children as well as my mother-in-law. A very clear pattern was established within a month after though order went into affect and we attempted to reconcile.
Does any of this count when I go back to court?
Thanks!
It may depend on the circumstances. Like if you abused the kids the state could step in and get her and you in trouble. If Child protective services were involved and told her she is to have no contact this would also be a problem.
I have known a lot of people that rescinded the order through the court after they got a PFA on them but it depends on the circumstances.
There was No Abuse of anyone involved in this case. This is just a general "mental cruelty" ALLEGATION! There is just simply a woman who had been through the system before and knows how to use it against a man.
Within weeks of the O/P we were going places together and was watchinh my 3 yr old son UNSUPERVISED, when she was working. That should tell you that this was a total scam job.
What do you think about my chances now?
She should be able to rescind it through the court easily. BUT IF she persists in getting orders against you the court is going to end up seeing her as the kid who cried wolf. If she has these kind of problems she could end up pulling something really serious on you. I wouldn't trust her.
Courts don't like wasting their time on women that keep getting PFA's at their convenience and then don't follow them at their convenience. PFA's are meant to be followed by both party's. They do not mean she can contact you but you can not contact her. At least in my state neither one of you are allowed to give a message to a third party to pass to the other.
I take it this is your kid? Let her get the order rescinded and then go for visitation rights. I don't know how it will work out but it is worth a try.
Thanks for the help. But you see, now she has decided to move forward with the Divorce and she is insisting on keeping the OP in effect to make me look bad since it has been over a year already. She has not let the court know that we were attempting to reconcile or that she made contacts with me(100's of calls) and let me take my son Unsupervised. I want it rescinded, but she wants to keep it in place.
I had an order of protection placed upon me over 1 year ago. It stated no contact with my wife, and supervised visitation only on Tuesdays and Saturday. Well, that lasted about 1 and a half months, then we began going places together, I was invited into the house (hundreds of times in the last 9 months alone) as well as her letting me take my son to my residence when she was working including Saturdays and Sundays.
So essentially her Order of Protection was for her convenience when she wanted to keep my son from me, but when she needed my help with him I picked him up, stayed at the house with him. Or took him to my residence to care for him. There was also many overnight stays at the house and even has sexual relations with her.
Now she wants to continue the divorce process and retain the original terms of the Order of Protection. Since she initiated and agreed to change the terms of the Order what are my options to make the Order invalid?
This subject has come up before on this board and the answer to your question can vary from state to state. From what some have mentioned here, restraining orders in some states are automatically mutual and, as I recall, in some places they may automatically cancel if the protected party invites contact. Neither is true in California, where I practice. Here, restraining orders are never mutual and cannot be made mutual even by agreement of the parties unless the court makes specific findings that each party acted primarily as an aggressor and not in self-defense. Second, invited contact never cancels the order.
So, in California you would have violated the order multiple times.
Best to check with a local attorney about having the ordered rescinded or modified.
I live in Illinois, what resources can I use to find the answer. I cannot afford an attorney right now!
Thanks Cadillac59!
In the state of Illinois, when the Petitioning Party has invited and encouraaged contact with me and my son, can this be rescinded easily?
I am able to prove this easily by 9 months of Text and Phone records at the same time each day when she finished work and I had to drop off my son. I also have many witnesses including adult aged children children and step children as well as my mother-in-law. A very clear pattern was established within a month after though order went into affect and we attempted to reconcile.
Does any of this count when I go back to court?
Thanks!
It may depend on the circumstances. Like if you abused the kids the state could step in and get her and you in trouble. If Child protective services were involved and told her she is to have no contact this would also be a problem.
I have known a lot of people that rescinded the order through the court after they got a PFA on them but it depends on the circumstances.
There was No Abuse of anyone involved in this case. This is just a general "mental cruelty" ALLEGATION! There is just simply a woman who had been through the system before and knows how to use it against a man.
Within weeks of the O/P we were going places together and was watchinh my 3 yr old son UNSUPERVISED, when she was working. That should tell you that this was a total scam job.
What do you think about my chances now?
She should be able to rescind it through the court easily. BUT IF she persists in getting orders against you the court is going to end up seeing her as the kid who cried wolf. If she has these kind of problems she could end up pulling something really serious on you. I wouldn't trust her.
Courts don't like wasting their time on women that keep getting PFA's at their convenience and then don't follow them at their convenience. PFA's are meant to be followed by both party's. They do not mean she can contact you but you can not contact her. At least in my state neither one of you are allowed to give a message to a third party to pass to the other.
I take it this is your kid? Let her get the order rescinded and then go for visitation rights. I don't know how it will work out but it is worth a try.
Thanks for the help. But you see, now she has decided to move forward with the Divorce and she is insisting on keeping the OP in effect to make me look bad since it has been over a year already. She has not let the court know that we were attempting to reconcile or that she made contacts with me(100's of calls) and let me take my son Unsupervised. I want it rescinded, but she wants to keep it in place.