Hey guys! Is anyone struggling with the WAY post break up/ my ex has come back and used/abused me again? Here's some background

3 year high school relationship
Dumped me in late nov 2008
Got new girlfriend EARLY dec 2008
Went nc and deleted him
May 2009 - think I'm over it so we slowly start talking THEN he breaks up with his girlfriend tells me he stills got feeling.. my relationship at the time was going south and so... fml... I believed it. Hooked up until this month and he was acting lovey dovey the whole time. He says "i dont want any girls i just wanna be single and then eventually end up with you"

Mhmm
Does anyone else smell the bs?

Anyway guys, I don't know wats wrong with me but the old ticker is hurting and I am moping about. I am PETRIFIED of EVER being in a relationship again. And here is the kicker thatll make you alumni want to shake me. I STILL want to be with this guy. Oy vay. Any advice on this stage? Because at this point I really don't want to bring up my SAME GUY dilemmas to my friends.

What to do? I want to move into the future! I want something concrete to do. Already considering nc but I think my heart needs some fresh ideas please :)

If you want him out of your life then stop talking to him.

In life we choose our own paths but you allowed yourself to be used and emotionally abused. And the sad part is that he knew he could because he had you wrapped around his finger and played with you just for amusement and when he wanted to.

You need to want more and not enable cheating. I mean do you want from a mate and a relationship? Do you love yourself? Are you happy with being be alone? Do you really need to settle-for anything just to feel wanted?

All guys aren't like him but this guy was your addiction. I know addiction are hard to break but you can do anything if you set your mind to it.

Time for a fresh start!

If your willing to go back to someone who used and abused you then you have only yourself to blame when it doesn't turn out.

People don't change , they pretend until they get what they want.

The ex used and abused you because you were there and you allowed it. But you know that.

No new ideas on this one. Kick him to the kerb and out of your life. Go NC.

Get that old ticker fired up about something new and don't mope about - there are lots of really interesting things to do other than obsess about guys that are full of b-$hit.

Movies
Dinner with friends
Time with family
Good books
Walking in the park
Swimming in the sea/pool/river/lake
Doing a course
Playing games
Gym
Shopping

Need I go on?

He says he doesn't want anybody right now he wants to be free and single. Translation: He wants you to sit and wait until he is done partying and having his good time. Then come back to you who have been sitting there waiting for him and not having another guy in the meantime.

You don't do that you move on with your life. Then when he wants back
A. You are with someone that really cares forget him!
Or
B. You aren't with anybody at the minute and decide then IF you want to get back with him or NOT.

Do not sit around waiting on him!

what to do? I want to move into the future! I want something concrete to do. Already considering nc but I think my heart needs some fresh ideas please :)

Your heart doesn't need any fresh ideas, just do the NC and you will get your act together.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/wat-do-when-mates-come-back-354823.html

Don't blame him for what you allow to happen.