I'm messing with a married man . He tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. Please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . Tell me what that mean.

im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.
What that means is that he wants you to hang around while he has the benefits of being married and having a lover. He knows you are not going to look elsewhere if you believe he loves you and gives you a ring. Stop seeing him for awhile and see how much he loves you. If he does love you as much as he says, then he NEEDS to make the changes and become available to you in all senses of the word and ways. You deserve better.

Does he have any kids?

I just want to say, be prepared for the answers you are going to get. They will not necessarily be nice.

Why a married man?

If you were married would it be okay for your husband to be messing around behind your back? Would you like that? How would that make you feel?

That right there is trouble. He shouldn't have to offer you with gifts to let you know he loves you. He shouldn't be doing this to his wife either... Becareful, do what's best for you kiddo...
Sorry example- I was in the same situation when I was seeing a married woman 4 years ago.
She told me so many times how she was going to end it and that she cared and loved me. At first when this all started, I thought this guy desrved it and I was the one to rescue her from his evilness.. I came to find out I was wrong and I was starting to feel really guilty. It went like that for another month and she kept on making excuses.. I finally ended it and never looked back.. She kept calling me about for two weeks and I did not give in. Few months past, I hear she's having a baby. I heard that her and the husband bought a new house.. The baby came, it wasn't his. It was his teenage brothers baby.Now she's with the brother.. I'm so glad I ended that!! I'm just saying that I did love her but that was the best move I ever made and I am so happy I am not in that situation... Beautiful Diva, this is one of the reasons I am cautious now...


You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

It means that he's a conniving cheat and you shouldn't be wasting your time with him! How would you like it if that were your husband fooling around with someone else and buying her "promise rings" for Christmas? The only thing he's going to "promise" you is a broken heart so I'd bail out now. Run and don't look back.

Your both lying cheating people and probably deserve one another.
I pity you for hopeing that he loves you. You want the love of a liar. I suppose though that is what you deserve.
Sorry to sound harsh but you are involved in something that isn't right and lots of people will get hurt.

Stop seeing him now. Find someone who is single. Find someone you can trust and has respect enough for you not to be married to another women but also fool around with you. And that is all he is doing. Fooling around. I doubt he loves you. I doubt he would leave his wife for you.

Can you honestly ever trust this man? Can you respect this man?

If the answer is yes then you have no self respect!

Oh yeah the promise ring might mean that he promises you he won't tell his wife what he;s been up to!

Let me see a man who has no morals but will leave his wife's bed in the morning after having sex with her, and he comes to you ( I wonder if he takes a shower) and then sleeps with you. He lies to his wife about loving her and you can believe he loves you?? Come on, you don't really, or you would not be asking.

You are extra sex, different sex or worst than that a trophy to prove he still has his "old" charm.

Ask him when he is going to tell his wife about you and leave her, or just tell him don't worry you have already sent her all the facts so he can be free to be with you.

If you really want something out of it, tell him you got photos and that for a few more rings, you won't send them to the wife.
If you are going to lower yourself to one immoral act you may as well go a little further and actually get something out of it.
( not really want you to black mail him but trying to make a point)

I want you to know I am one of the wives whose husband cheated with a one or more women just like you. Let me tell you something sweetie. I left him a few times and each time he grew sick of the girlfriend and came crawling back.. Because of the situation I was in and my low self esteem at the time, I took him back.. and guess what! He did it again. Thankfully, I woke up and am no longer with him. I am a different woman today. You, my dear, are in for a rude awakening. Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter who they are with. That I can assure you. I feel so sorry for that mans wife. She does not deserve what is happening to her and if she has children their whole world could come crashing down around them. It is the most devastating thing that could happen to a family. The pain involved when a partner has an affair cannot be explained in words. She doesn't know so therefore she is not being given the opportunity to make a choice in her life. You do have a choice. You get out now and leave that family be. Yes you may be hurt but you made the decision to sleep with a another woman's husband. You have the power to do the right thing. Do not put that woman or those children through that heartache. He will most likely cheat again but at least it won't be you who caused the destruction. Please do what is right. He will never be what you think he will be. You always want what you can't have. Take my advice.

I want you to know I am one of the wives whose husband cheated with a one or more women just like you. Let me tell you something sweetie. I left him a few times and each time he grew sick of the girlfriend and came crawling back..Because of the situation I was in and my low self esteem at the time, I took him back ..and guess what!! He did it again. Thankfully, I woke up and am no longer with him. I am a different woman today. You, my dear, are in for a rude awakening. Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter who they are with. That I can assure you. I feel so sorry for that mans wife. She does not deserve what is happening to her and if she has children their whole world could come crashing down around them. It is the most devastating thing that could happen to a family. The pain involved when a partner has an affair cannot be explained in words. She doesnt know so therefore she is not being given the opportunity to make a choice in her life. You do have a choice. You get out now and leave that family be. Yes you may be hurt but you made the decision to sleep with a another womans husband. You have the power to do the right thing. Do not put that woman or those children through that heartache. He will most likely cheat again but at least it wont be you who caused the destruction. Please do what is right. He will never be what you think he will be. You always want what you can't have. Take my advice.

This is one of the best repsonses I have read to a poster aksing advice here at AMHD since I have been a member. It comes from experience but also offers a great solution to the problem.
I really hope the original poster comes back and reads this post so she can see the damage that she WILL cause to another person!

Well done Jessie!

A promise ring??

Seriously. I haven't heard that term used since junior high school!

He's married but sounds like a 14 year old.

im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.

Oh dear!
And you believe materialistic things prove his love and respect for you :cool:

Seriously, what would stop him from cheating on you? I mean he is currently cheating on his wife.. you are his bit on side!

They never have a 'happy ending'.

A promise ring is his way of keeping you at arms length while still toying with you and your emotions. If you like getting played you've found the right guy.

He gave you a promise ring to let you know he will be back for his regular booty call.

Leave this guy NOW!!

"he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday" - of course he does - you give him sex - nothing more.

He'll never leave his wife.

He's a cheater - he'll cheat on you. Once a cheater - always a cheater. See Jessie's post. Her husband cheated and cheated.

Has he left his wife since Christmas? No. You are his mistress and nothing more.

im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.

I'll tell you what it means. It means that he hit the jackpot with a woman silly enough to give it up for the astronomically low price of a promise ring.

It means he thinks you're dumb enough to think of that ring as some sort of actual promise.

It means you're willing to sell your soul and spit on the woman who he promised to love and cherish until death do they part.

Stop having sex with him and see how much longer he promises his undying love...

You have sex with him for free?? At least prostitutes get paid, you're giving it away.

Once a cheater always a cheater.. what makes you think that once he gets rid of his wife and is with you he won't turn around and do it again? Why would you want to risk that happening to you?

Ask yourself this: would you want your husband doing what your doing? Or what he is doing to you?

What goes around comes around, remember that!

Today some people find sympathy in your situation... I find women like you disappointing... you are with a man that made commitments to another woman to have and to hold from this day forward and he sees you and you sees him and he tells you he have another that he has a wife... he just broke a serious vow to an human being... but, you are so lonely that you over look his situation and get happy over a promise given to you on Christmas... the ring could have been a rejection from the wife and he gave it to you so not to go through the effort or the hassle of returning the ring:p
High profile men that cheated publicly on their wives... Senator from Georgia a former house speaker gave his wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital fighting cancer... he married the other woman... a couple of years later... he divorces her and marries an other mistress... mayor of New York parade is mistress in front of his children and wife and publicly demeaned his wife in public... men with morality issues involve themselves in relationships like the one that you are in... this man has no ethic; is not trust worthy; and so do you... you are committing fornication and he has committed adultery... this is just nasty... how does it feels to kiss a guy before he comes to you has just kissed his wife and probably had sex (vaginal and oral)with her just before seeing you... how does she taste... :rolleyes:

Leave this man alone! He is scum - he sees something weak in you & is trying to get whatever you will give him. If he were to leave his wife (which he won't!) & has a serious relationship with you (which he won't!) - he will do the same thing to you (which he surely will!). You deserve someone who loves you & someone who is not a liar and a cheater. Please, Please, Please leave him alone for your own well being. And as far as the promise ring - I would wrap it up & give it back to him with a little note saying 'I Deserve Someone Better'.

May God bless you and guide you to do the right thing - and may you find True Love!

I bet she won't repost.
She wanted us to tell her that he honestly loves her and they will end up living a fullfilling and loving life together.
And that the promise ring won't be the last ring he puts on her finger.

She didn't want to hear the truth because it hurt. Well it will be nothing compared ot the hurt she will feel once this scum bag breaks her heart!

She WILL get heart broken That's why she needs to ended it now.

This guy WILL lie to her until she cuts him off - CUT OFF THE SEX FOR 2 MONTHS AND SEE HOW MUCH HE LIKES YOU.

Many, many married guys will lie, cheat a steal to sleep with a women.

I say STOP, he's married and there's a GOOD reason he is.

She wanted us to tell her how to snare him. No way. This guy will never leave his wife - I see the ring was given Christmas... things changed - has he left? Filed for diovrce? No.

You're being used lady and it isn't pretty.

You have just lowered your own self respect by getting involved with another man.. Think about what you deserve. You deserve someone that is free to be with you. Put yourself is HIS WIFE's shoes. How would you feel.

LEAVE HIM ALONE HE IS TROUBLE.. Save yourself the heart ache and embrassment and go look for mr right not mr right now.

I totally agree, a married man is a no -no

You seem fooled by this man cause he tells you that he loves you. What you need to do is have a discussion about your relationship and where is it leading to. Does he want to be with you or does he want to be with you and his wife and when it gets bad ditch you and run to his wife or end up with you because him and his wife didn't make it? So ask him hear what he says. Then you can probably answer your own question. Him buying you that ring probably means "that it'll hold you into thinking that he loves you so he can have you to his disposal" not meaning it in a harsh way or anything, but I'm just feeling for you and I don't want you to get hurt. Don't put your hopes up to high unless you really know that something is going to be done for you in that relationship.

You seem fooled by this man cause he tells you that he loves you. What you need to do is have a discussion about your relationship and where is it leading to. Does he want to be with you or does he want to be with you and his wife and when it gets bad ditch you and run to his wife or end up with you because him and his wife didn't make it? So ask him hear what he says. Then you can probably answer your own question. Him buying you that ring probably means "that it'll hold you into thinking that he loves you so he can have you to his disposal" not meaning it in a harsh way or anything, but I'm just feeling for you and I don't want you to get hurt. Don't put your hopes up to high unless you really know that something is going to be done for you in that relationship.
I politely disagree with this post. While I am the first to advocate that communication is essential to any relationship, its both naïve and unrealistic to think that a person who lies to another, won't or isn't lying to you.

I am with Val - totally disagree with that post!! Did that person see 'married man'?

She has NO BUSINESS BEING WITH THIS GUY!! Until he has divorce papers in hand and his own place.

You seem fooled by this man cause he tells you that he loves you. What you need to do is have a discussion about your relationship and where is it leading to. Does he want to be with you or does he want to be with you and his wife and when it gets bad ditch you and run to his wife or end up with you because him and his wife didn't make it? So ask him hear what he says. Then you can probably answer your own question. Him buying you that ring probably means "that it'll hold you into thinking that he loves you so he can have you to his disposal" not meaning it in a harsh way or anything, but I'm just feeling for you and I don't want you to get hurt. Don't put your hopes up to high unless you really know that something is going to be done for you in that relationship.


BAD BAD BAD advice. Never, ever, ever, mess with a married man. Married men/women are totally off limits.

Jut look at who is answering this post here. Marisa is involved with a married man and asking her own advice.

You want to give that girl the advice to stay away from Married men, guess what it won't change anything. If she wants to be with him she still will. So what I am saying if that man really loves her he will get a divorce and be with her but they need to know if that is what they both want, instead of making rash decisions that make everyone unhappy. And when that decision is made she will now if she needs to move on or wait for him to be divorced.

I would suggest that you should stop seeing him unless he gets a divorce. That's the only way you'll know he's serious about u. James.

"ChasingCars disagrees: Most unhelpful - wrong on so many levels. Way too harsh and judgemental and just not nice at all."

Chasing cars, I'm assuming you are in a similar situation and my post hit a nerve?

Good!!

I agree with both of the above so I just put agree. It was a little mean but the advice was good.

What if you don't expect him to leave his wife...

This is one of the best repsonses i have read to a poster aksing advice here at AMHD since i have been a member. It comes from experience but also offers a great solution to the problem.
I really hope the original poster comes back and reads this post so she can see the damage that she WILL cause to another person!!

Well done Jessie!!
Well, I was a cheated on wife also. They do not always crawl back. When I was 5 months pregnant with our son, bleeding and on bed rest, I got a phone call from a woman, who expressed surprise that my husband was even married. And so it went, with him cheating with other women three more times. I know he'd never have left me, but I just could not take it anymore. He always put himself, and them, first, unfortunately.

Now, my son's classmates ask him if he even has a father. He's six now.

And you know what? I am now in love with a married man. I know that's a little odd, but you see, no one ever took my feelings into consideration when pursuing their interests, so why should I? Furthermore, I know from experience, after having been the wronged wife, that my position is more positive and joyful.

I would never ask him to leave his wife, because that would mean that someone else gets the fun job-the mistress.