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View Full Version : Girlfriend wants "break"


ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 02:38 PM
So I have been dating this girl for 2 years now. We even lived together for 1 of those years. Due to financial issues, and both being broke college kids, she moved in with her brother and I have moved into my own apartment. Recently she has been acting very distant, and just today she decided she wants to take a "break" for a week... now this isn't the first time this has come up... we have had this same conversation 3 or 4 times before. And every time its happened she will come back to me either the next day or the day after and say "im sorry im such a crazy " and things will be better than they have ever been... this time though, I feel like things are different. Maybe its because we don't live together anymore, but I don't know... and to add to this.. I have had physical contact with her for everyday expect 3 days during these past 2 days... so that makes it even harder being with her all the time... I don't really know what I am asking here, I really just need a place to vent. But what do I do? I am going nuts over here!

liz28
Jun 7, 2009, 02:43 PM
You move on!

She been going back and forth with this thought and fianally had the guts to it but you knew this what coming. He distant should have shown you that.

Read the stickies on top of this forum and put them to good use.

Live goes on! She doesn't run the show. Vent him as much as you have to and realize breaks are usually permanent.

ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 02:46 PM
That's so much easier said than done... I realize this is the best course of action... but before she left she was like "just dont get too down, you know we are gonna get back together...i just need my space"

Laura2207
Jun 7, 2009, 02:52 PM
She said that because she knows you are a fool and will take her back. She is convinced of it. What is she doing on these week long breaks? Dating other guys? It's bull. She is playing you. You have "sucker" written on your face.

liz28
Jun 7, 2009, 02:56 PM
but before she left she was like "just dont get too down, you know we are gonna get back together...i just need my space"

Don't focus on what she said because more then likely the two of you won't get back together and I hate for you to live on false hope.

ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 03:00 PM
She always says week long break, and we always end up getting back together the very next day or 2 days after... FML

Wondergirl
Jun 7, 2009, 03:04 PM
Is being a yo-yo fun?

liz28
Jun 7, 2009, 03:08 PM
she always says week long break, and we always end up getting back together the very next day or 2 days after....FML

Correct me if I am wrong but I thought this was a relationship not a job.

She keeps breaking up with you and then running back to you because she knows you will be there waiting.

What were with all the breaks in the first place because she sounds pretty conflicted?

You need to wake up and stop letting her put you through these emotional torandos but it is your life.

ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 03:13 PM
These breaks were about her being stressed out and taking all her stress out on me and then realizing it and coming back to me. This is only the 3rd or 4th time this has happened... all of our friends pretty much agreed we acted like we were married because we shared everything and were always together... we also had a no secrets relationship meaning we have each others facebook/myspace passwords.. borrowed each others credit cards, have each others car keys... I know she genuinely loves me... I just hope this isn't a permanent break

liz28
Jun 7, 2009, 03:22 PM
these breaks were about her being stressed out and taking all her stress out on me and then realizing it and coming back to me. this is only the 3rd or 4th time this has happened....all of our friends pretty much agreed we acted like we were married because we shared everything and were always together...we also had a no secrets relationship meaning we have each others facebook/myspace passwords..borrowed each others credit cards, have each others car keys...i know she genuinely loves me...i just hope this isnt a permanent break

Who cares if the two acting like or look like a married couple. So her excuse it that she is stress and whenever she is stress she takes a break?

What happen with the two of you discussing why she is stress and tacking the problems together.

Laura2207
Jun 7, 2009, 03:26 PM
This is only the 3rd or 4th time it has happened? Are you serious? You talk as if it is justified. She is stressed out so she leaves for a day or so... that's acceptable?
Good Luck with that Buddy. If you continue to allow it to happen, it will.

ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 03:30 PM
It... im just going to end my miserable pathetic life... my time is up

I wish
Jun 7, 2009, 03:31 PM
It's clear that she's not a very stable girl. People are just being so hard on you because they think you can do better. Why stay with a girl who's so insecure about herself?

If you can handle her unstableness and insecurities, then we won't stop you.

I wish
Jun 7, 2009, 03:31 PM
it...im just gonna end my miserable pathetic life...my time is up

WOAH, take it easy.

There's no reason to feel so miserable. You will get through this. If you really care about her as much as you say you do, then leave her alone and wait for her to find you. It's her personal problems that she has to sort out. If you can handle it, then just wait it out. Be patient.

If you feel so suffocated and can't handle the relationship, then break up and move on to bigger and better things.

ar311
Jun 7, 2009, 03:36 PM
She is generally very stable... its just sometimes that she gets down on herself... she is very unhappy with the way she looks and she tells me all the time... I have never been this depressed in my life... I love her to death.. and I'm going to go NO contact for sure... but I'm having a very hard time to resisting myself from lighting up a charcoal grill in my room and sleeping forever

I wish
Jun 7, 2009, 03:40 PM
she is generally very stable...its just sometimes that she gets down on herself...she is very unhappy with the way she looks and she tells me all the time.....i have never been this depressed in my life...i love her to death..and im going to go NO contact for sure...but im having a very hard time to resisting myself from lighting up a charcoal grill in my room and sleeping forever

It happens man. It's part of life. When I first came into this forum, I was in so much pain too and I wish on no one to feel the pain that I felt. But then I realized that many people in this forum were in the same boat.

The point people are trying to make too is that you're suffering too much. Maybe you did have some good times in this relationship and maybe you will have more great times with her in the future. But there are too many obstacles to make it a happy and healthy lasting relationship. The way you guys are going, it seems like it's going to end eventually, but you are just dragging it out, cause you've grown so dependent on each other. But it doesn't have to be this way.

Stick with no contact. With time, things will get better. After some time and space, you will feel more objective about the relationship and you will be in a better position on deciding what to do next. There's no rush to fix all your problems today. These things take time. Just be patient.