I am really in a tough situation.

I used to go to school with this girl and we were nothing more than acquantances.. not even friends.. high school came around and I grew a little closer into a friend.

She's the type of girl that's not a drinker and someone who you would want to keep. I took her to homecoming last year and I think she had a good time. But this year, my best friends all have girlfriends and when we go out I'm in a really akward position because my friends are all with a girl and I'm just "friends" with some.

Its really hard to get a hold of this girl, sometimes she doesn't get texts and she's never online, I hope she's not ignoring me but thing is I'm really starting to love her more and more everyday, even though I don't see her.

I want to ask her out but I don't want to ruin myh relatinoship with her and her parents (cuz they like me too). I don't know what to do, should I call her and tell her my felings or try and plan a day (which is impossible because she's always so busy) and then ask her if she likes anyone.

She was over a few days ago and someone said we were a cute couple, even though we weren't, and she said we were like brothers and I don't know what way to take that, could this ever work out?

Thanks

Hmmm OK if she hasn't talked to you and is "hard to get a hold of" and you have the feeling she's ignoring you, than she might just be... If she was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about her than she would probably try to get in touch with you or be a little more "available". However she could like you but have the same questions about it or be just as confused about what to do as you are.

Anyway, I say you will never know if you don't talk to her about it. You don't have to make it awkward... If someone mistook you for a couple rather then friends or something like that its obvious that you are close... and if you are good friends a talk like that shouldn't end it. (the friendship that is) regardless of the out come.

As for the question of could it work out.. I don't think anyone here could anser that for you.. we do not know you personally nor her personally or how you interact with each other... the only person who could anwer that for you is her.

but this year, my best friends all have girlfriends and when we go out I'm in a really akward position because my friends are all with a girl and I'm just "friends" with some

The fact that she goes out is a good sign so forget what your friends say and don't give them a second thought since you should be focused on getting this female to the next level with you. Be honest and make sure she has a great time, no need to push.

The fact that she goes out is a good sign so forget what your friends say and don't give them a second thought since you should be focused on getting this female to the next level with you. Be honest and make sure she has a great time, no need to push.

No she doesn't come with us, yesterday I invited her and she was busy, I understand that. My friends don't say anything though. They're great they're trying to get me get a girlfriend because.. there's 3 of us and we're inseparable. Problem is we're like 2 years apart in age (im 2 years younger than other 2) 16, 18,19. But I'm gnna continue to invite her whenever we all hang out, and even without that. Problem is trying to fin da time when she's not busy with school/dance/community service

Hmmm just a thought but maybe since she is so busy... it could be that she has a lot on her plate to have time for a boyfriend right now... but maybe to show her you're interested in more then just friends you could take an interest in her activities... like you say she dances.. does she perform? You could see one sometime... But I totally agree with Talaniman don't push things

hmmm just a thought but maybe since she is so busy... it could be that she has a lot on her plate to have time for a bf right now... but maybe to show her you're interested in more then just friends you could take an interest in her activities... like u say she dances.. does she perform? You could see one sometime... But i totally agree with Talaniman dont push things

Last year she did a gymnastic thing in an opera and her dad invited only my family and one other, so I went to see it and she saw I was there, so she knows I care and I'm cool w/ all she does. It's almost a perfect situatino. Her dad likes me which is usually the problem. Only problem with the whole situatino is the accesibility and friendship barrier

Haha yes you got through the toughest barrier! Lol But that is good on your part that you did that. And I say you are on the right track.. just keep doing what your doing and when the time is right and slip in "the convo" lol just sounds like you are in the beginning of something.. all relationships have to start this way if you think about it... soon you will break down that friendship barrier but you have to do it by talking to her

haha yes u got thru the toughest barrier! lol But that is good on your part that you did that. And i say you are on the right track.. just keep doin what ur doin and when the time is right and slip in "the convo" lol just sounds like you are in the beginning of something.. all relationships have to start out this way if you think about it... soon you will break down that friendship barrier but you have to do it by talking to her

What would you say is the best way to do this? Since she's hard to get a hold of and some texts don't go through. Should I call her or try and plan a day to go hang out and bring up if she likes anyone.. what would you guys say is the best way to handle this part?

Thanks

Do both. Call her and talk a bit then plan with her a day for you to hang out and you could take it from there... though I'm not really sure the asking if she likes "anyone" will be a great idea... it might be better just to be straight forward about it and not beat around the bush... It doesn't have to be weird.. just start by saying that you love hanging out with her and wish you could do it more often.. tell her you like her. Just enough so that she is clear that you are interested.. you don't have to decide to be a couple yet... you're just getting the ball rolling here.

Do relationships like this (family friends) usually work out from your experience? Sorry for all the questions just that I grew a love for her so fast it was ridiculous. When she couldn't come with us last nigth I felt like not even going. And I couldn't sleep last nigh ttil today because I kept having a dream of asking her out like 50 times and she kept saying no.. But it was a different scenario each time.. got irritating after a while

Umm personally I think the status of the person be it family friend, school friend, co worker, casual friend, etc. really has little to do with the outcome of a relationship... however the boyfriend I have right now was a family friend and today is our seven month anniversary! :) if that helps... and awe I'm sorry you are stressin so much! Lol but hey you still have her... its not like your losing her or she's going anywhere... just slow down, talk to her about it, and breath... lol Take it easy and keep it casual and fun! Sounds like you're doing great already :)

All right coolz, congratz on 7 months and thanks for all your help

Anytime, thanks, and good luck to you! :)

Yeah I agree with diva! Go for it!

Man, I get my hopes all up reading this, and then I go bak to reality and see that I sent her 2 texts today and no response saying how like it would've been cool if you came last night. I want to talk to her but don't know if I should call right now, because that would be like I'm too desperate.. 2 texts and a call within a day w/ no response. Especially if she doesn't pick up.. 2 texts and a missed call.. would have kind of bad... my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

All right... I would wait a little while.. see if she responds. BUT the next time you try to get a hold of her... MAKE IT A CALL! Don't text her and if she doesn't answer leave a message... that way you know she got the call and the message and the ball is in her court. You want this girl to know that your into her but you are right you do not want to look desperate. And I'm sorry I don't mean for you to be getting your hopes up! Which is a good point you bring up yourself actually... there is a chance that she might not see anything between you.. but all you can do is let her know how you feel and accept whatever her response is to that

my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

It is not your heart. It is your craving.

My son resist your urge and give HER the chance to return your call.

If you don't you may run the risk of having her think of you as a scary, possessive, deparate, needy guy.

This might very well push her away.

No response is not a signal to try harder. It means... no response.

Do not take it personally.

So make sure your ego is not feeling bruised or rejected.

I do not recommend you leaving a message on her machine or voicemail.

Your voice may convey the wrong impression.

Why ?

In you current state of affectation if you call her and instead the machine answers, you will be disapointed and that will show up in your voice. You do not want to leave a message with a disapointed sounding voice since you may just sound pathetic and say stupid things.

I would say, wait until you get a response from her or better yet wait until you get a chance to see her face to face then invite her out for coffe.

Otherwise... keep occupied and do not think of her so much.

I agree with you gilliion I don't think I would have left a message 1. I'm not a type of voice mail person, when I verbally say something I usually feel more comfortable when there is a response 2. for the exact resason you mentioned of having a voice that's down and disappointed. You I don't plan on calling her again tonight.. I wll most likely call or try and see her face to face during the week to plan something over the weekend

It's very hard to progress from "friend" to something romantic. If she truly sees you as a "brother" then she's not going to want to date her "brother." You could probably have her accompany you when you go out with your other friends who have girlfriends to make things a little less awkward for you. I wouldn't pour my heart out to her. You could maybe try sending out little signals and see how she responds ; hand on shoulder, hold her hand, lean in a little closer, slow dance with her when out with your friends. It's possible that something may blossom. Don't get your hopes up but it could be worth a try. Make sure to be patient and give things lots of time.

man, i get my hopes all up reading this, and then i go bak to reality and see that i sent her 2 texts today and no responce saying how like it would've been cool if u came last night. i wanna talk to her but dunno if i should call right now, because that would be like im too desparate .. 2 texts and a call within a day w/ no responce. especially if she doens't pick up.. 2 texts and a missed call.. woulda kinda bad... my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

Since she evidently doesn't spend a lot of time online, how about the old-fashioned telephone? If she's not home, someone else can always give her a message that you called.

I took her to homecoming and we were going around but every slow dance opportunity we were there. Do you think it would be akward though for me to hold her hand before we were anything.. like from just going out for fun to holding her hand?.

Ummm if I may intervene... considering she doesn't know how you feel and you have really been just friends when you went out... I do think that would be a little weird... because you haven't talked to her about it yet.. that may freak her out if she's not into you like that. On the other hand she may love it if she has feelings for you too... but don't take that chance. Your best bet is to talk to her about things first before making any moves like that.

You that was my stand on it but wasn't sure haha okay good to know someone thinks same way about that too

Do not ambush this girl with your physical signs of affection.

She has to give you her clear signals that she is willing to be touched.

Let her take the lead in this department. If she likes you she will flirt with you and make suggestive remarks etc.

BUT You must first let her know.

So in a face to face talk, in a nice comfortable place, over a cup of tea or coffe or ice-cream in all honesty that you are INTERESTED IN HER.

She sounds as if she has a busy exciting life, do you? Backoff a bit. If she hasn't responded by now puts some time in between your next attempts at contact.(7-10) days.

When she ask you for a favor does she thanks you with a kiss? If so,. there is a possibility of a relationship there... friends offer... I pick you up for work on any day you specify... or something not so touchy... let time go and keep in touch... friends make good relationshiips... and long relationships usually last a long time because they were friends first...

You said you guys have been friends for a while... has she ever mentioned another guy? If she see's you like a good friend or brother, she might have already brought that up, at least once? Unless... she kind of knows already that you have feelings for her and doesn't want to say anything to hurt your feelings. I would back off a bit. Let her come looking for you for a change. She does seem to have an active life and seems to enjoy it quite a bit, try that for yourself. There's got to be stuff you do with your buddies that are just the fellas right?

She may not be reciprocating your feelings right now, but, if you make yourself less available, a little more mysterious (not too obviously though) and text or call her less, she might have a stirring of feelings and think twice about your relationship. Don't blurt your feelings out just yet. Just get busy with other things and whatever is meant to be, will fall into place in time. Like Tal said, 7-10 days ought to do it, then send her a casual "Hey what cha doin message"... Good Luck and keep us posted!

I talked to her yesterday online, and we planned a thing w/ a few of my friends and their girlfriends.. she seems cool w/ it. To answer your questino of mentioning another guy I don't think she's gone out before, and to tell you truth neither have I so that's ANOTHER reason why I have feelings for her. On Saturday my friend owes me like 10000 favors because I helped him get on his feet with the girl he's with right now so many times so I'm gnona have him bring up mine/girl's relatinoship when I "go to the bathroom" and have him like text me during the night and see what she said so I know how to play my cards for the continuatino of the evening

when i "go to the bathroom" and have him like text me during the night and see what she said so i know how to play my cards for the continuatino of the evening

Dude... that is a pretty immature plan.

It is manipulative and dishonest and shows you do not have the BALLS to talk to this girl and do it yourself.

This is not how you use a wingman.

But what really will stink, is that your working with the belief that she won't be onto your bloody games.

Never delegate to another man your responsibility of being a man. i.e.

Do not send or ask another man to do what you should be doing or say what you should say or ask what you should ask.

You will never grow... but he will... at your expense.

Basketb23, I thought we gave you some sound advice here... What happened to calling her in a few days... setting up something to hang out or whatever and telling her yourself?

She messaged me while I was online, and it was my friends idea for all of us to hang out.. the favor thing isn't going to happen now, was just putting the idea out to see what you guys thought.. taking that back now.. aiight didn't say anything to anyone about that yet so I have nothing to worry about there

Lol OK good! That probably wouldn't be the best idea.. numerous things could go wrong in that situation, the most embarrassing being her finding out about that! Just wait a little longer, ask her out have fun, bring it up in a conversation and tell her what you feel... just talk to her about it. But talk to HER about it YOURSELF lol I'm sure she would appreciate that better

You. The group we going w/ sat is my friends gf's friends ( I met a few weeks ago.. cool group) + she goes to school w/ lot of them but never met them so going to introduce them so hopefully it'll be f un.. I hope she doesn't feel uncomfortable because of friend/his girlfriend and the way they act.. it can mean 2 things.. she can either see their relationship (cuz they have a fun one) as a cool one and want one too or just be upset that invited her knowing this.. I don't think she'll be upset.. their relationship was the one tha tmade get gain interest in this girl because I saw how much fun they were having lol

she messaged me while i was online, and it was my friends idea for all of us to hang out.. the favor thing isn't gonna happen now, was just putting the idea out to see what you guys thought.. taking that back now ..aiight didn't say anything to anyone about that yet so i have nothing to worry about there

Do not beat yourself too hard we all make mistakes in life and that is how we learn.

I talked to her yesterday online, and we planned a thing w/ a few of my friends and their girlfriends.. she seems cool w/ it. To answer your questino of mentioning another guy I don't think she's gone out before, and to tell you truth
neither have I so that's ANOTHER reason why I have feelings for her. On Saturday my friend owes me like 10000 favors because I helped him get on his feet with the girl he's with right now so many times so I'm gnona have him bring up mine/girl's relatinoship when I "go to the bathroom" and have him like text me during the night and see what she said so I know how to play my cards for the continuatino of the evening

As Gillion says, not a good idea to play games and involve everyone else. Glad you changed your mind. I would also lower expectations of how she reacts to the settings you take her too. The point is to show her a good time and have fun. Relax and just make sure she can too. Your idea to impress her with what has impressed you will surely back fire. But if you be cool and be yourself, that is what will impress her the most. Being with you and having a really good time.

"impress her with what has impressed you will surely back fire"

Nah she's met my 2 best friend and she's cool w/ them so that's not what I was trying to make a point too.. just saying what I had planned haha.. I don't plan on impressing her w/ my friends :p