Hi , I was wondering if I could get some advice, I'm to embaressed to talk to anyone but my girlfriend about it... I can not handle my girlfriend , she is gorgeous and so many guys want her , I can't handle the she wears , and the type of girl she is... I have severe trust issues... and she says I'm controlling which I think I am... what should I do , I've been dating her 5 years on and off.. and it has destroyed me every time I break up with her because I'm stuck with her in my high school , and it kills me when she goes to parties and talks with guys and flirts... should I just break up with her? I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship with her ?

Your absolutely right. You can't handle her. To be honest it comes across like you have trust issues with her. Has she given you any reason besides the flirting? Has she cheated on you? If not then she is just a flirty person and you are probably being a little possessive. Remember she is her own person and not yours to control. If you can't get past her flirting and talking to other guys then unfortunately it's time to move on.

Your absolutely right. You can't handle her. To be honest it comes across like you have trust issues with her. Has she given you any reason besides the flirting? Has she cheated on you? If not then she is just a flirty person and you are probably being a little possessive. Remember she is her own person and not yours to control. If you can't get past her flirting and talking to other guys then unfortunately it's time to move on.

She has never cheated on me , only thing is I broke up with her a year ago , and one of my greasy buddys moved in on her... he was a rebound and she slept with him twice, she also loves to party and is loud and an attention seeker... maybe I need to figure myself out or next girl friend go for someone a little more innocent?

Trust issues, can either stem from someone breaking your trust or insecurity issues within yourself. Five years for a high school relationship is a long time. It's hard to develop as a person individually when you are always someone's boyfriend.

I think it is time to step away from the relationship and really focus on you. High school is a great time to be learning about yourself, learning about dating, searching and planning out your future. Worry about some of the things you should be doing now for you. Worry about lifelong, love commitments after college.

Thanks a lot I need more awnsers please people... this is rele hard on me

She slept with your friend twice, your jealous, your controlling, have trust issues, don't like what she wears, and can't stand her clubbing ways. Time for you to leave her alone and work on your insecurities.

Unless you want to stay in this unhealthy relationships. Too many flags and issues with within.

Btw, I hope you aren't no longer friends with the called friend she slept with.

Definitely not

I went through the jealousy, possessiveness and controlling. It is an everyday struggle that you cannot solve alone, I went to therapy for it and took classes, read books EVERYTHING and I recently just fell back into my old ways, but am working out again. (caught it early) and you need help man, you can't do it without help, I can't say that enough. You can mask it, but once you get pushed, there's no turning back.

Also, why would you want to be friends with someone who sleeps with your ex?

Wow that really helped me , my girlfriend says I need help as well , but she just doesn't understand how I feel... I think I need help as well but its embaressing to tell my mom I'm only 17... I guess it is not good for me to be with my girlfriend since she is so perfect and so gorgeous while I'm trying to get better?

Also we became enimies as soon as he started talking to her... then when they were dating we fought

If she can help you get better, then yes. But if you feel she will be more of a problem then maybe it's best to end it.

What's more embarrassing, telling your mom you need help(actually I respect that) or constantly over reacting in front of people because of your jealousy and living life alone

definatly not

I am glad you are no longer friends with this guy but I must ask you "why are you still with this girl?"

You been with her on and off for 5 years and it obivious it is going continue to be off and her. You can't change her nor shape and mold her into the person/girlfriend you want her to be.

It is obivious she is turning you into what you are today. So the only person you can change is yourself. Workout all the issues you have and step away from the stress and drama because your only torturing yourself.

I go to the clubs something and wears outfits that show a little bit of skin with or without my fiancé, guys look at me when I with/without my fiancé but he doesn't care. He doesn't get jealous. His thing is "haha I got her and you don't". You have to cool it. He knows I isn't going no where unless Jamie Foxx comes my way. Hehe

wow that really helped me , my girlfriend says i need help as well , but she just doesnt understand how i feel .... i think i need help as well but its embaressing to tell my mom im only 17 .... I guess it is not good for me to be with my girlfriend since she is so perfect and so gorgeous while im trying to get better?

Your young and have a lot of living to do. It is good that you recongize your issues and are willing to face them by working on them but you can't do this alone. Tell your mom and I am sure she will help you because in the end it will make you a better man. Go and talk to her so she can get you into counseling.

Agreed with Liz28 that she is changing who you are and you have lost a friend over her... NOT GOOD. I can't say that I'm glad that you aren't friends with this guy, boys will be boys and from what my 15 year old says it's whatever. If you break up with a girl at your age that you kind of dated off and on, does that mean that your friends can't date her. Apparently she allowed it. I would say that you would be better suited with a girl that is not sleeping around at the age of 17 and sleeping around so much that she is also sleeping with your friend. I'm not certain that help is what you need. I think that this girl is not particularly the norm out here in this world and you have a personality that is better suited for a girl that is a little more conservative and reserved. PERFECTLY NORMAL EXPECTATION.

Thanks a lot that's exactly what I think , I need a conservative , more innocent girl... but maybe I should get help as well.. please more advice people.. this is killing me inside

If you feel that you are to an extreme that you need help... ask for it. If you feel that your circumstances were a little out of the norm, maybe wait it out and see how you feel with another girl. I don't want you to run around thinking that you are broken when you very well may have been exposed to something that isn't the norm. Talk to your mom and continue to do what you are doing by talking it out. The fact that you know that you are experiencing some of this stuff leads me to believe that you are understanding yourself very well, you understand cause and effect and how you feel under certain circumstances. You are way ahead of the pack sweet heart. Do me a solid though and talk to your mom.

Thanks a lot I appreciate this , the hard thing is my girlfriend is going to fight for this so hard , if I break up with her... and its going to be really hard on me... but I feel it's the only way to get past this... and she was my first love and my high school sweetheart... its so hard to see her in the hall everyday

It is going be hard for you but it will make you a stronger person and you will survive.

Time to let her go weedman, and a coach, or counselor, or an older trusted male adult, is a good person to get some guidance from.

Weedy, as I was reading your post I thought that it's not about you not handling your GF, it's the fact that you can't handle yourself!

Fortunately you're still young, and you sounds like the sort of guy that wants to do the right thing. Firstly, though you need to do the right thing for yourself.

It's a really good idea to speak with your mum, and with your current GF, I reckon, to let them know the confusion and distress you're feeling.

Then, go and see someone to sort out the control and jealousy issues. Make a start on understanding why you feel this way and what you can do to deal with it.

In the end it's not about changing girlfriends, it's about changing yourself.

It sounds like you are a little insecure. If she is giving you reasons not to trust her than that's when you have to cut it off but if you have no reasons then just be confident, after all she picked you right?

im only 17 .... I guess it is not good for me to be with my girlfriend since she is so perfect and so gorgeous while I'm trying to get better?




I've been dating her 5 years on and off


You started at 12? Maybe that's enough on this relationship.

Hey I got extremely down on myself today , I was really upset and did not feel like doing anything , going to work , school... And this is why , I have always been worried about my girl being to pretty for me , or me worrying that I love her too much , we have dated for the past 5 years on and off , and things have been really rocky the last 2 years she did some ty things but so did I, I'm not going to go in detail , but she still doesn't have my trust and lies about some things... I was having a brutal day and offered to walk her too school she said no so it was fine . First thing I see is her laughing and talking to a player of the school, who has tried to get with her before , I was really upset and mad , did not go to the rest of school, then called her after school , she said she needed to save her minutes and she would call me when she gets home (5 min walk) I waited 20 minutes and called her , she awnsered in her pocket and I heard her and a guy talking... didn't here much all I heard was her say I don't know why I'm hot in October , then a guys voice talking with her... I then hung up and called her again , she said hello... I was in tears and asked who she was with , she said no one , I then exposed her and was pleading for the truth , it ended up to be a guy she lied about kissing for 6 months and when I asked her 300 times... she said she had to give him back his phone and he was their for 5 minutes... did he really leave? Was he still their? Should I just get past this girl who hurts me everyday , while breaking my heart at least once ever 2 months (breaking me down).. How do I get over her ? I love her so much sometimes , but I don't like getting hurt this much... I've tried to break up with her before , but miss her so much , love her so much , and hate her being single.. please help

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Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread

On and off relationships are extremely difficult. If you haven't solved the problems that broke you up in the first place, then you shouldn't be getting back together.

It sounds as she doesn't give your feelings much thought. If your willing to state that your sensitive and that you have trust issues to all of us. She must as well know this about you. Im most instances if you think something is going on, then it most likely is. Given your age this might not be the case. It could be that she is just very personable and popular. Your best bet is to lay it on the table. Tell you how you feel (no crying tho) and see how she answers you. Your young,( this is a good thing) look around you, there are lots of girls and plenty of time. If you don't like the way this relationship is going, you could always end it. Don't put yourself through any extra drama.

Until you accept your thing with this girl is over, you will always be miserable, and everything you try will be a torture to you. Keep your dignity, and self respect, and leave her alone.

I don't necessarily think you need therapy or help in a big way like others suggest. She is a beautiful girl. Girls that have model-like looks, go clubbing constantly, party all the time, and flirt all the time are the classic mold of a cheater.

Your mistrust is perfectly justified. I have not yet once met a girl who fits this mold who wasn't a worthless liar. I recommend to find yourself a girl who may not be as hot, but has more of the important qualities.. such as being trustworthy, honest, real, respectful to you.