What do you think of my poem? Please, I need help on whether its good enough to send into a competition.


I got flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday, or any other special day.
Last night, we had our first fight.
He yelled at me, and said some cruel things,
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our annaversary, or any other special day.
Last night, he hit me.
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't mothers day, or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me again.
It was much worse than anytime before.
He shoved me into a wall, and choked me.
I can't leave him.
What about the kids?
What about money?
I got flowers today.
Today WAS a special day.
Today was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally beat me to death.
If only I had had the strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.
-paige.


Im only fifteen. Please don't be harsh. I watched this happen with my mother. She was my inspiration.

You guys please. If you've read my poem, please tell me what you think. I need some help here:)

That's a chilling poem... maybe you could make them into stanzas each starting with "i got flowers today"
Other than that there are just a few spelling errors, but I definitely think you should enter the competition. Even if you don't win its still a learning expirience so that the next one can be even more mind-blowing than this

Thank you for the suggestions

I had a poem that I wrote about my mom after she died. It was a bit chilling too. It ended up being published. As stated earlier, polish it up a bit. I think writing helps after you go through things like that. Good luck

Thank you very much.

In summary... it has great meaning. I would suggest it be posted on women shelters to give them the will to leave their beaters. Like you, I write from experience and have only one goal. When you write from the heart you can never be wrong. I have wrote many
Poems and suddenly lost my inspiration. Some have said I was gifted because I could write a great poetry in minutes. It's not the time it takes... but the quality of one's work. My goal was to always make the reader identify with what I wrote on a personal level. Make them feel the passion in your writings.

I now have an updated version. Please look at it.

I'm very sorry for what happened to your mother. You've found a very creative outlet with which to express yourself and that's a good thing. Perhaps lots of women will learn from your poem ; lord knows lots of them need to! Good luck with your competition.

I love it! It sent chills down my spine.

I don't know a lot about poetry, but I know what I like and I like this a lot.

Bravo.

I too love it!! And, you will get flowers if you remain with the guy you are with. And he is only 13?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/should-stay-380156.html

I too love it!!! And, you will get flowers if you remain with the guy you are with. And he is only 13?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/should-stay-380156.html

OMG! J, I posted this link on that link so she'd realize that's where she's heading.

I'm afraid now.

Wow paige, this poem is great! Sounds like the poem that Paulette Kelly has a copyright on from back in 1992! I think if you do a search on Google you will see it.. you might get in trouble if you submit someone else's work.. you might get in trouble..

Wow paige, this poem is great! Sounds like the poem that Paulette Kelly has a copyright on from back in 1992! I think if you do a search on Google you will see it.. you might get in trouble if you submit someone else's work.. you might get in trouble..

Its no one else's work. But thank you for your concern:)

I Got Flowers (http://www.seedsofhopeiowa.com/Flowers.htm)
I Got Flowers Today - Domestic Violence Poem - 9 1/2 Couples: Life Love Intimacy - The Novel (http://www.nineandahalfcouples.com/MADV2no.html)
my lifetime stories: I Got Flowers Today - by Paulette Kelly (http://sohurtish.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-got-flowers-today-by-paulette-kelly.html)
I Got Flowers Today (http://alcoholism.about.com/library/weekly/aa991006.htm)
VICTIMIZE ME NO MORE: I GOT FLOWERS TODAY by Paulette Kelly | Facebook (http://sq-al.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=156115332584)
I got flowers today. (http://www.tasgreetings.com/flowers.htm)

Ok just checking.. if you are 15 I don't think you were born in 1992 when it says it was copyrighted by Paulette..

Poem is much too similar to copyrighted work.

Thread is now CLOSED.