I have lived in my house for 14 years, quietly with my husband, no kids.
About 5 years ago a new neighbor moved in. We tried to be nice at first, but then heard them talking about us, so we kept our distance. Now the teenage girl is accusing me of watching her through my windows, and of being gay. She is very loud about this and has told other neighbors and kids up and down the neighborhood. Talking to the parents doesn't do any good - apparently they believe everything their little darling says. I consider this slander and defamation of character, but not sure what I can do about it. I believe they have consulted an attorney and want to bring me up on charges,even though I haven't done a damn thing.
AAGHH , they are driving me nuts. Any suggestions?
Spikerbiker

You have only 1 legal recourse if she continues this and they won't stop.

Sue them, bother the daughter and her parents.

(or of course you can start spreading nasty rumours about the daughter, but don't go down that road).

You have a problem here. Have you ever been noticed looking out your windows when the daughter was around? If anyone can testify to that (besides any member of that family) you could have trouble. The charge that you are gay, though is another matter.

I'm curious as to what your other neighbors think of this attack on you. Have you spoken with them? If there have been other teenage girls who have grown up on the block and there has been no other history, no prosecutor is going to take on the case.

I would take the tact, that you have no idea why this family has taken a dislike to you and that their charges are so laughable that they don't need response. If the other neighbors don't believe them, then they are the ones who are losing. But I would also consult an attorney, if they do get someone to listen to their charges, then you will need to counter sue them. The problem with a slander suit is that you need to show how the statements have damaged you.

Thank you two for your responses.Part of the problem is that our houses are very close - a driveway apart. This situation is making me feel so paranoid that I now find myself keeping all the blinds on that side of the house closed, 99 percent of the time. What are windows for if you can't look out of them once in awhile and let the sunshine in. This is affecting my quality of life. I have only spoken to one other neighbor across the street and she is on my side. She says that "they need to get a life". I think that I will consult an attorney to get all legal aspects down.

Is there room for a fence? One of the advantages of blinds is that you can angle them to allow the sun in but block any view.

I would enlist the aid of that neighbor, to find out who else this family has been talking to and what other neighbors think. You really need to get a handle on the scope of this.

You might consider filing an harassment complaint with the local law enforcement. Just to get it on record before they do.

Thanks for your insightful responses Scott - I am wondering what type of attorney I would look for?

Most general attorneys would be able to handle this. Otherwise look for one familiar with slander or libel cases.

Thanks again, it is good to hear other people's response.
My husband is sick and tired of hearing me talk about it.In fact, it has started to cause marital problems, stress and lack of sleep.
I am glad that I found this website!

I have lived in my house for 14 years, quietly with my husband, no kids.
About 5 years ago a new neighbor moved in. We tried to be nice at first, but then heard them talking about us, so we kept our distance. Now the teenage girl is accusing me of watching her through my windows, and of being gay. She is very loud about this and has told other neighbors and kids up and down the neighborhood. Talking to the parents doesn't do any good - apparently they believe everything their little darling says. I consider this slander and defamation of character, but not sure what I can do about it. I believe they have consulted an attorney and want to bring me up on charges,even though I haven't done a damn thing.
AAGHH , they are driving me nuts. Any suggestions?
Spikerbiker


There is a problem here... the young lady has accused you of being homosexual and watching her through your windows... the problem homosexuals are not interested in women... so the window watching incident makes not sense... Question are you gay? If, not that statement is slanderous /challenges your character... if other neighbors believe this reck attack on your person... then filed a suit and order a subpoena or a few to being your neighbors to court that believe this lie... make the amount worth their (the neighbors)attention... the child is looking for attention and will get it any means necessary... even when it means hurting others. Do tell the family to clean up their house by filing a suit.. this needs to stop... for when a situation comes about that needs the neighbors attention... the event will be overlooked...

The problem with filing a slander suit is you have to show you have been materially harmed. Just having someone spread lies about you does not qualify. You can't just name a sum and sue. It has to be shown that you lost or might have lost that sum.

Scott Gem that is true... but ,if, a neighbor opinion of you has changed because of what they have heard from someone else... then a development into defamation has happen...

SLANDER - A false defamation (expressed in spoken words, signs, or gestures) which injures the character or reputation of the person defamed;
www.lectlaw.com

Defamation of character "is the result of an attack on the reputation of a person or organization; it
includes attacks on a person's honesty, integrity, or virtue which result in public contempt, ridicule ,
or financial injury"(HFAC, p.1). This attack can come in two forms, either libel or slander. Libel is
the attack in the written form, and slander is an attack in the verbal form. This is important because
an attack on a person's character or reputation can be harmful because it can ruin them in the eyes
of the public, especially a publicly elected official. In fact the requirement of proof regarding a private
person and a public elected official are different. "Private persons are not in the public eye and do
not have direct access to media. These people do not need to prove actual malice in a libel
case"(HFAC, p.2). A public figure is someone that receives ample media attention or is well-known
in a specific areas. Thus, according to past precedent, public figures are expected to prove actual
malice to win a libel case. Actual malice is defined as "the act of publishing or broadcasting
statements with prior knowledge of the inaccuracy of the statement or reckless disregard for the truth"(HFAC, p.1). www.bsos.umd.edu/gvpt/gvpt339/libel.htm

Considering this heightened fascination with sex and sexual scandals, especially in involving idealized
public figures, we must analyze the repercussions of these and determine the cost to society. Then
we can consider the value of such speech balanced with the cost. "Sex scandals in the twentieth
century have tended to be more destructive. Articles and books concerning the extramarital affairs of
presidents such as Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, or Lyndon Johnson, may not have altered
their historical contributions, however, the scandals have hurt innocent people, particularly the
families left behind. Perhaps, once a person dies, history tends to judge the deceased on their merits.
There is little currency in gossip about dead people. But allegations of sexual trysts have morally
wounded others"(Smolla, p.236). There is a case about an Pentecostal evangelist named Aimee
Semple McPherson, who was thought of as a beautiful and flamboyant person, who was preaching
in a $1.5 million dollar church. She had mysteriously disappeared for twenty-six days. When she
reappeared, she made up a story that she was kidnapped. "It was later discovered that she had spent
the time with her lover, who was a married man. She died at the young age of fifty-three from an
overdose of barbiturates"(Smolla, p.236). Since she was a public figure she probably felt shunned by
society, so she felt forced to replace the truth with this excuse. This affair should have been private,
between her, her lover, and the man's wife. People should not let a person's private life influence the
way they feel about them as a professional. The high volume and intensity of the publicity that her
private life received from the media destroyed her career and was probably responsible for her
death. Unfortunately, there are many examples similar to this one. The train does not stop here. It
continues to affect us in all aspects of life and the world.
www.bsos.umd.edu/gvpt/gvpt339/libel.htm[/I][/I][/U]

I am not gay. I have been involved with exercise most of my life, so I have heard this comment before, as if all women who enjoy exercising must be gay! My husband and I enjoy a very healthy sex life (we have been together over 23 years). I don't know how I could show being "materially harmed" unless I started going to therapy. I already filed a harassment report at the local police department. That really pissed off the neighbors.

I don't believe anyone here is saying that you are gay…

Hehehe…a harassment report with the police that pissed off the neighbours, good job!

If you do go to therapy over that, you then have an actual expense related to these lies that you can sue for!

Talk with a lawyer, he will probably have some ideas on how your life had suffered.

Dear Captain Forest, Scottgem and Lunagodess,
This was my first posting to this forum and I really appreciate your input.
Really, I can't thank you enough. Hope your lives are going smoothly. To health and happiness.

If I were you, I'd just simply rise above this.

First of all, what ever you watch out of your own window is YOUR Business.

If they have a problem with that, let them be the one to invest in shades for their windows.

Now Im not advocating voyeur actions, but lets face it, if this got out of hand, simply walking outside to check your mail could result in someone getting upset because "you stepped outside to peep". Checking to see if the sun is out in the morning turns into another peeping tom accusation.

Personally, my bathroom windows sits on a big hill looking over at least a hundred homes, any one of them could be staring at me. That's why I make good practice to draw the shades before using the restroom.

As far as the gay remarks. That's just plain childish. Whether you are or not is no business of theirs.

Again, my best advice would be not to stoop down to their level, don't worry about what other neighbors say or think. Don't worry about the gossip line, you know what you are, everything else is just speculation.
I don't envy your situation, sounds like to me you are surrounded by morons.

Suddenly my neighborhood doesn't seem so bad.

The best way to handle neighbors from hell is to ignore them until they do something illegal or dangerous. You have given them power over you by letting them upset you. Your husband is already PO'd so stop worrying about them period. As for the daughter... Tell her to go to... and get a life. Who cares what they say and since your better known who's listening.

Thank you for your responses.

I guess my big fear is that people tend to believe children when it comes to sex issues.
The news is filled with Mark Foley and Catholic Priest cases. I hope that one day the parents will realize that this kid is crying wolf (for attention, numerous family issues) but when a big bad wolf does come around, no one is going to believe her.

I would like to rise above the situation, but it is often difficult to ignore the neighbors, when we can hear them talking about us. Apparently the girl is getting a lot of flack at school because of her talking... the kids are teasing her now - as the saying goes what goes around comes around.

I am hoping that the whole thing will just fade away, but I can see a big confrontation happening with the parental units. Personally I feel that they are really at fault, for not raising her right in the first place and then not handling the situation when it first started.

The best way to handle neighbors from hell is to ignore them until they do something illegal or dangerous. You have given them power over you by letting them upset you. Your husband is already PO'd so stop worrying about them period. As for the daughter..............Tell her to go to..............and get a life. Who cares what they say and since your better known who's listening.


Latest news on the neighbors from hell - I now believe that somehow they are listening to my phone calls. I was talking to my mom and "she said did you hear that?" and I said what? She said "somebody just said hello and used your name" - OK, this is freaking me out. We have noticed lots of pops, crackles and echoes, but just thought it was the phone line. How can you figure out if someone is illeagally listening to your conversations? It has been 3 months since this crap started and they still talk about us everyday - the houses are that close that we can hear them. I would love to move, but it is difficult to sell a house in this slow economy. HELP!

I have had a neighbor from hell too. Shooting guns in the air during hurricanes, backyard "bon fire" at the height of a drought set the woods we live in on fire and a loose dog repeatedly threatening me in my own yard. I can only reinterate the sentiments of the others that say call the appropriate enforcement agnecy if and when they do something illegal and ignore the rest. If you don't ignore it, they win.

If you prevail long enough, something may happen as these types tend to bring it on themselves. I recently learned my bad neighbor's wife (with kids and dog, thankfully) left him and we believe its only a matter of time before he loses the house since she was the bigger breadwinner. As a result of his actions, my cell phone now holds the personal cell number to the top fire official in my county, the animal control director and the sheriff who visited him about vicarious firearm discharges but my patience has been tested along the way too. Not to minimise your situation but I would relish being called gay at this point. Just a little perspective to perhaps frame it a little differently for you. Maybe its time to hire a private detective -- a move we almost took before we got the news about his divorce. They are cheaper than an attorney and may turn up something you can use. It's a free country after all and as law abiding citizens, we had nothing to hide (in case he did likewise).

Latest news on the neighbors from hell - I now believe that somehow they are listening to my phone calls. I was talking to my mom and "she said did you hear that?" and I said what? She said "somebody just said hello and used your name" - ok, this is freaking me out. We have noticed lots of pops, crackles and echoes, but just thought it was the phone line. How can you figure out if someone is illeagally listening to your conversations? It has been 3 months since this crap started and they still talk about us everyday - the houses are that close that we can hear them. I would love to move, but it is difficult to sell a house in this slow economy. HELP ! ! ! !

Do you have a cordless phone? If so, its not hard to get a scanner that might be able to eavesdrop on the line. If not, call your telephone company and tell them about the interference (do not tell them you think someone is listening in) and ask them to check the line.

Latest news on the neighbors from hell - I now believe that somehow they are listening to my phone calls. I was talking to my mom and "she said did you hear that?" and I said what? She said "somebody just said hello and used your name" - ok, this is freaking me out. We have noticed lots of pops, crackles and echoes, but just thought it was the phone line. How can you figure out if someone is illeagally listening to your conversations? It has been 3 months since this crap started and they still talk about us everyday - the houses are that close that we can hear them. I would love to move, but it is difficult to sell a house in this slow economy. HELP ! ! ! !

I will add to what ScottGem said (he is correct about the scanners) also, sometimes two cordless phones get on the same frequency by addident. I picked up my neighbor once on my phone will I was talking to my mother. It was a very interesting 4 way conversation, we all heard each other.

Anyway, a hard wire tap I do believe is illegal (unless you're a congressman :) )

The only way I would know to hard tap a line would be to access your interface box and literally listen from there. If you said that your houses are only a few feet apart, this might be very possible. Just bury a small line across the border right under the grass. A check of your interface box should reveal the truth.

The other option is that they are actually climbing the pole, which they can get in BIG trouble for if caught. They would have to have a keen understanding of how the telephone system works to eavesdrop by climing a pole.

Yes we do have a cordless phone that we walk around the house with. Funny thing is we have seen 2 or 3 different guys going up the pole outside in about one month. My husband even held a ladder for one of them. He was there on a Sunday and said he was the cable guy. Sure does make me wonder.

yes we do have a cordless phone that we walk around the house with. Funny thing is we have seen 2 or 3 different guys going up the pole outside in about one month. My husband even held a ladder for one of them. He was there on a Sunday and said he was the cable guy. Sure does make me wonder.

If in doubt, report it to the cable company/phone company, they will have records of who was climbing the pole. If there records indicate no one was supposed to be working, then that is cause for alarm.

Of course, your phone lines might be buried, just so happens that here where I live, all of our lines are above ground.

Now that I think about it, it does seem odd that a cable man would need your husband to hold a ladder. Most pole climbers do so with their special spikes in their boots made for climbing poles. In the event a ladder is needed, the cable/phone company Shouldn't rely on the public to hold a ladder for them, if holding a ladder is nessesary, then the phone company will send a second worker.

There is too much liability in counting on the public to do things like hold ladders.

The real question is, what do your neighbors hope to accomplish by listening in on telephone conversations?

I really doubt that they are going up on the pole. But it doesn't hurt to check with the utilities.

Most cordless phones have the ability to switch channels. So you might try doing that to preclude the line crossings.

Me again. Just when I think that things are getting better more crap hits the fan. I was pulling out of the driveway yesterday and I waited for 3 girls to walk by the house so I wouldn't hit them. Wouldn't you know, I could hear the next door neighbor girl complaining to her parents about me watching her again! I can't even go outside without her complaining about me! This kid is driving me nuts. She is dillusional. I went to see an attorney recently and he said that pursuing a harassment case would hardly be worth the trouble. It would probably cost as much in attorney fees as one would make. Any suggestions?

me again. Just when I think that things are getting better more crap hits the fan. I was pulling out of the driveway yesterday and I waited for 3 girls to walk by the house so I wouldn't hit them. Wouldn't you know, I could hear the next door neighbor girl complaining to her parents about me watching her again! I can't even go outside without her complaining about me! This kid is driving me nuts. She is dillusional. I went to see an attorney recently and he said that pursuing a harrassment case would hardly be worth the trouble. It would probably cost as much in attorney fees as one would make. Any suggestions?

At this point, I wouldn't let it bother you anymore.

In fact, this might be bad advise, but Id probobly start to have fun with it. For instance, staring at them every chance I get. Grinning all the while.

If they are going to be that contrary, Id give them something to fuss about. Last time I checked, its not against the law to stare. The worst thing you will be called is a creep or a pervert. How is that any worse than what's already been said?

Next time they call you gay, give them that seductive look while waving your fingers.

This neighbor thing of yours may be like a stubborn pimple, you may just have to keep pushing it until it pops.

For instance, and this is a true story. Where I used to live, I had a neighbor who would always let his dog roam. He would get into my trash all of the time. One day, he did it on the wrong day, the damn dog drug trash all over my driveway and yard.

So what did I do?

I scooped it all up and put it all back in the trash can, then as it was the middle of the night, took it over to his yard and scattered it all around. He thought his dog did it, however he came to complain to me, I told him "your dog brought it over there, not my problem".

The dog was tied from that day forward. Was my action illegal? Technically, I suppse it could be considered littering, but no one could prove it was me. As far as the public was concerned, it was a dog that was roaming free, a violation of county ordiance. Had he called the law on me, he too would have been fined.

Sometimes you just got to be creative.

Haha yeah my thoughts were leaning towards what Andrew said... I was thinking.. well prove the daughter wrong and take your 'healthy sex life' in front of the windows... Of course I am only saying this in jest... but it would be funny... but then they would complain about that.. UGh neighbors can be SUCH a pain...

I would probably try to do something annoying... like get 110 outdoor cats... or get a set of beehives to put our your windows... OK OK so I have bad advice... I still wish you luck in solving all this and having a peaceful life... :o)

You are way to sensitive, You have no control over what is said or done by others. I would have no trouble ignoring them, or worst case got PO'd enough to cuss them out. If the big mouth daughter got on my nerves, I just stand there and stare, the bust out laughing every time I saw her. Okay, get a backbone and stand up for yourself, and stop living in terror.

What you focus on expands. Let it go you're a good person and did nothing wrong. By seeking legal action you just put more of the focus on you. You know who you are. You have spent enough time of this matter. Live your life.

Your neighbors are extremely ignorant. My opinion is that you need to just let it go. I wouldn't waste my time looking or staring back at them. That puts you on their level which is very very low. With all your exercising you'd think you'd be much more calm too even bat an eye over it... LOL

I, too have a neighbor from hell and have tried to ignore them and have asked that they leave me alone or I will get a restraining order. Now they walk past my house brandishing a baseball bat and the cops say they are not doing anything wrong as long as a criminal act hasn't occurred. So I am basically screwed and the only thing I can do is keep taking pictures of them and documenting their every move. I guess what I am trying to say is that you should just keep ignoring them and hope that they either stop or do something to break the law-then you have recourse. Keep a video camera available in case they do something to your property.:)

I, too have a neighbor from hell and have tried to ignore them and have asked that they leave me alone or I will get a restraining order. Now they walk past my house brandishing a baseball bat and the cops say they are not doing anything wrong as long as a criminal act hasn't occurred. So I am basically screwed and the only thing I can do is keep taking pictures of them and documenting their every move. I guess what I am trying to say is that you should just keep ignoring them and hope that they either stop or do something to break the law-then you have recourse. Keep a video camera available in case they do something to your property.:)

Fortunately for me, my neighbors foreclosed on their house and have moved on to go bug somebody else. I feel bad for you because I know how miserable it can be. You can keep making reports to the police to keep a paper trail going, without actually filing an official complaint. Most police depts. Will keep the report on record for up to five years. If anything does happen, you have a record and have "pre-empted" them legally.
Best wishes to you, keep good records.

You are so lucky! I can only HOPE that happens to my neighbors! How do you keep a paper trail going if the police won't let you make a report? That's what I tried to do, but the police say even though my neighbor has threatened to kill me and my hubby in front of witnesses with his fists in the air, they say no actual crime has been committed, therefore I cannot make a police report. I am just trying to keep things documented in a legal way because they seem like they keep wanting to take it to the next level. If she feels so threatened to walk past my house that she has to carry "protection", (I see it as a weapon and aggression towards me), then why does she choose to walk past my house.GO THE OTHER WAY,DUH!

You are so lucky!! I can only HOPE that happens to my neighbors! How do you keep a paper trail going if the police won't let you make a report? That's what I tried to do, but the police say even though my neighbor has threatened to kill me and my hubby in front of witnesses with his fists in the air, they say no actual crime has been committed, therefore I cannot make a police report. I am just trying to keep things documented in a legal way because they seem like they keep wanting to take it to the next level. If she feels so threatened to walk past my house that she has to carry "protection", (I see it as a weapon and aggression towards me), then why does she choose to walk past my house.GO THE OTHER WAY,DUH!!

Have you actually gone to the Police dept.and spoken to them in person? At ours, they will take a report, without actually filing charges. If they have come out to your house, there should be a record. You can ask for any records from the police that would have your name or address on them , for example, if the neighbors filed anything (Freedom of Information Act), but they may charge you for the copies.
Be assertive! You may even want to contact an attorney to put things on record.
Good luck!