About two months ago I looked at our phone bill and seen that my wife has been texting and receiving text from another man. One month the number of text was over 2000. I asked her to stop, she said she will. I found out in fact they didn't stop and he was telling her he loved her along with calling her babe, cutie and other things that piss me off. I confronted her on that. Last months bill came and I see they still text each other about 300 times, what do I do.

I think it's a little too early to think of leaving her or divorce and stuff. I guess you have to keep talking to her, talk things out and find out why she is talking to this guy so much, who he is and what's the reason she won't stop talking to him when you asked her too.

You'd never know, it may be something you are not doing right in this relationship that is pushing her to talk to this other man.

Communication is the key. Best of luck

I'm sorry to hear that... dude she isn't being faithful... y be with someone who isn't dedicated to u? How long have u guys been dating?

Are there children involved? If so, it's tough to break up a family. If not, then throw her clothes out in the yard and change the locks on your house. Chances are that she's having sex with this man and that's something that's going to eat at your very soul like a cancer. Every time she's late or somewhere you're not sure about, you'll wonder. Life is too short to live that way. She has broken your wedding vows and GOD's commandment. 2000 messages? Sounds as if she's reverted back to her teen years. It's tough to deal with a situation like this, and I feel for you guy. GOD bless you buddy.

Leave her, she is cheating on you. She is not worth it.

Come on people, lets not jump to conclusions. We don't know what is going on. The best thing the couple should do is sit down and talk things out and see what's going on. Just don't end it without getting all the facts straight.

No guy is going to call another woman babe that he hasn't slept with I'm not telling you to leave her but I'm telling you that with the evidence you have in these texts if they're acurate she's already cheated on you

no guy is going to call another woman babe that he hasnt slept with im not telling you to leave her but im telling you that with the evidence you have in these texts if theyre acurate shes already cheated on you

Maybe the other man thinks he is in love with her? Maybe they have never met, which might explain 2000 text messages in a month. Maybe that's all their relationship is, over the phone, but that would count as emotional cheating I guess. Still, talk about it to get the truth

Maybe isn't worth getting your heart broke and worse catching a disease.2000 texts to another man is enough red flag for me

Hmmm I do agree with that, it is a huge red flag, but they are a married couple. They should try to work things out at least I guess.

Let's not jump to conclusions? Come on dude. 2000 texts? Pet names? This guy is being cheated on. Plain and simple.

Hmmm I guess I'm just talking from a personal point of view, and I don't want to condemn a person before I know everything.

I know lots of friends, guys and girls who call their friends "babe" or "hun" and stuff... there is nothing going on between them, they are just friends, but they do have pet names, private jokes, and do call and text each other a lot, but that's all they are, friend.

It might not be the case here, but I'm just saying, it is a possibility.

Hmmm I guess I'm just talking from a personal point of view, and I don't want to condemn a person before I know everything.

I know lots of friends, guys and girls who call their friends "babe" or "hun" and stuff... there is nothing going on between them, they are just friends, but they do have pet names, private jokes, and do call and text each other alot, but thats all they are, friend.

It might not be the case here, but I'm just saying, it is a possibility.

I think the husband would know the difference I always say follow you'r heart and it sounds like his is telling him there's a proublem.What about the 300 after he asked her to knock it off?

i think the husband would know the difference i always say follow you'r heart and it sounds like his is telling him theres a proublem.What about the 300 after he asked her to knock it off?

I do agree to go with your gut, its usually right, but sometimes a person only sees the bad, or sees what they want to see and therefore jumps to conclusions. It's a possibility, but I'm just saying...

Yeah the 300 after being told to stop is not good at all... Well, it is a reduction from 2000, and she knows her husband is checking her phone bills, so she is not trying to hide it I guess. Maybe she is trying to let that other guy down nicely? I don't know, just trying to give other possible scenarios...

I know marriage is sacred,and I'm not saying he should leave her he has to answer that I'm saying she"s cheating..I know what i would do "leave on the first thing smoking"

B-vy, would you put up with this sort of thing with your spouse/girlfriend? That's not the sort of thing that married people should do. I wouldn't put up with it from even a cousin. This guy's made it clear that he doesn't like this behavior, and she's still doing it. 2000 texts in a month calculates to one every 15 minutes of awake time. What in the world would she be saying to this person? It has to be an infatuation. This poor guy needs to move on. Sure counseling would be suggested, but she's already slapped him in the face. I say get evidence against her and get a lawyer.

i know marriage is sacred,and im not saying he should leave her he has to answer that im saying she"s cheating..I know what i would do "leave on the first thing smoking"

Understandable, but personally, I would talk to my wife and ask her what's going on, why she is texting this other guy and refuses to stop for good.

If she tells me its just for fun and its harmless flirting, then I won't be happy and would consider leaving.

If she tells me she doesn't feel loved or appreciated by me, which makes her want another man, then I will try to make her feel better, and show her move love, but if it still doesn't stop, then I will go.

I would try to fix things and reconcile things as much as possible. Personally, the only way I'd leave straight away is if she was outright cheating because she didn't love me anymore and she didn't want to be with me.

B-vy, would you put up with this sort of thing with your spouse/girlfriend? That's not the sort of thing that married people should do. I wouldn't put up with it from even a cousin. This guy's made it clear that he doesn't like this behavior, and she's still doing it. 2000 texts in a month calculates to one every 15 minutes of awake time. What in the world would she be saying to this person? It has to be an infatuation. This poor guy needs to move on. Sure counseling would be suggested, but she's already slapped him in the face. I say get evidence against her and get a lawyer.

You are right, I wouldn't put up with it either, but I'd find out why she is doing it. If there is no real reason other than she is bored with me, then we got a problem.

Yeah 200 messages a month is insane. Maybe this guy is showing her attention that her husband is not. She is not right seeking it elsewhere either, but they are married and they could work on it as a couple, but if she is not willing to work on their marriage, then yeah, find a lawyer and leave.

It does seem like she is slowing down her contact with this guy, from 2000 to 300, but that's still 10 messages a day on average. Not good.

I still recommend talking to her and getting her to be honest with you before making a move

Ivy, I agree with you.

Who's to say that him finding the text messages didn't put a stop to a 'relationship' that could have gone further.

And, if it has turned into an affair, is that alone reason to end a relationship?

I would be careful not to presume it's the best route to go by throwing the baby out with the bathwater here.

If that is all he knows, then he's missing a lot of information on which to make such a drastic decision. For example, what can he say to the quality of his relationship that he can bring to the table.

I do not condone her behaviour, but we have no idea what shape the relationship was/is in, nor do we know that this just won't be the catalyst to finally getting help to solve the problems within it. It may be enough that he cares enough to find out what's going on and why, and the two of them can mend the relationship.

I have a hard time believing that both of them weren't having some problems long before the text messaging started.

Yeah, I don't talk to my WIFE 10 times a day, maybe I should to prevent me from writing a similar question. I would like to think that she would come to me first, before something like this happens. Yes, maybe this guy has been neglectful, and we don't have both sides, but there are indeed married. And this sort of behavior is against the rules. I just hope they don't have kids in the middle of this.

True, this is not good behavior from her, but the husband needs to find out why the wife is talking to another man.

She may not have some to him sooner maybe because she didn't think he was approchable or would understand what she wanted or needed, but you are right, her husband should be her first point of contact.

I talk to my fiancé a lot, and we send more than 2000 sms messages a month. Insane, I know, but we enjoy talking to each other and always being in contact. We just talk abot random things, whatever is going on at that point in time, or nothing at all. Its just nice to know what we are on each other's mind.

If I'm busy in a meeting or something, or have something to do, she does wait, because she does know I have things to do, but if she doesn't hear from me in a day, she gets worried.

I guess it comes back to communication being the key. I'm going to marry my best friend, the love of my life. I don't see a reason why I wouldn't want to talk to her as much as I can, let her know I'm thinking about her, and I know neither of us would ever want to talk to another person the way we talk to each other.

My point exactly. My wife is the only woman on my mind. Because I love her and RESPECT her. I would never have inappropriate communication with another woman while I'm married . If that's what I wanted to do, I would get out of it ( marriage). Once you compromise trust, it's hard to get it back . My point was that no "friendship " has this sort of daily contact and terms of endearment.

Agreed, this "friendship" she has with this other man is not good.

The husband needs to know why his wife desires this "friendship", if it is that.

Something must make her want to talk to this man, even after he told her not to.

If you have no kids leave her fast.

I think go with your instincts. You have confronted her several times, and yet she still continually does it anyway, if she has this man calling her sexy names, doesn't it have you wondering how she met him? And is she closer to him then you think?--
If she's not the one, divorce her.Hope I helped--
Elle

Agreed,
Something must make her want to talk to this man, even after he told her not to.

Ummm she's a horndog

Without a lot more info, jumping to conclusions without facts, is not a good way to make such a big decision as divorce.

My questions would be:

Who she is texting, and to what the texts are about. The who and the why is important.

That the OP was pi$$ed about it means little, as I don't think he would just say stop it if he really thought it was serious, but may have him insecure, and controlling.

A lot more here than just a few lines tell. But the Op has been gone a while, and not come back so maybe she stopped, or he left. Wish I knew.

take her phone and lock her up!

Or just talk to her and say look here lady, enough is enough. Get out or get right. Make the choice now.

Or hunt the other man down like the dog that he is. Or hire a PI and get them to take racy photos of her and the other guy and then send them to the office where she works.

Men have called me Babe that I have not slept with. That is not an indication of anything. However, it sounds like the wife here is too irresponsible to be married. If she is doing things that she knows hurts her spouse and does not try to stop it, that is a sign that she has a lot to learn.

There are lots of good women out there.

I agree that jumping to conclusions isn't the thing to do here. She may be needing attention and likes the flirty stuff because maybe she feels you are not doing your part in that area.
If you pay the bill you can always have it shut off but regardless maybe being a little more attentive and flirty with her may go a LONG way in solving this.

Sometimes when women feel emotionally hurting they do dumb stuff like getting into an emotional affair to ease their hurt.

At the very least, get a plan with unlimited texting until you can get this resolved. Hopefully, you can switch plans because she just might run the bill up even higher in the future.

I wouldn't recommend you to just leave her. It might sound ridiculous and I don't want to call you the guilty one, by far not. But some women do those things because they are missing out on attention from their husband/boyfriends side. They don't cheat don't have sex nor anything else but just try to get your attention. Just think about it, as if she would really not want you to see that she wrote with whatever guy she would have found a better way than texting and anything which is tracable for you.

I feel really bad for you if you are in love with her, but if she doesn't love you back... and continues to text, let her be. You need someone who appreciates you. You can only try so much, and she's not putting the effort forward for you. Don't let her walk all over you.

I wonder how this would be viewed if the conversations were not on text, but in the workplace.

What if they talked and chatted up a storm all day long, day in and day out, but each went home to their mates, and never gave any of the conversations a second thought.

I think that if I had a transcript of all the conversations my husband has (only man in the office) with all the women he works with, I'd be freaked out totally. He has a very wicked sense of humour and is very personable.

Would I divorce him? No. Kick him out? No. Make him get another job? No.

What I would do is expect, that if the conversations were a little too friendly and/or provocative, lay down the law that it was to stop. It just isn't okay for him to have any kind of relationship that goes beyond what any normal person would think was harmless, whether it was at the office, texting, instant messaging, etc.

So, I'm thinking, take out the venue used, and put a different spin on it, and you are left with a problem in communication, and an unbalanced situation on her end.

She has to cut it out, period.