Me and my ex were together for 2 years. She broke up with me after her first year of college saying things like "I need to focus on college" and got another boyfriend in a month. No surprise there. That lasted for over a year now she's single.

Between when we broke up and now she contacted me a number of times, about 5 times. Each time I gave in, but I learned and moved on. She was in my town. This time I was in her town for a friends birthday with no intention of letting her know. I do know a lot of people there and she found out and texted me which caught me by surprise because I didn't want to see her and didn't know what to do. It was during finals and she had to study so I didn't see her.

Now she texts me asking when am I going to visit her during the summer. I said I would be busy with summer school so I don't know. She said she was sad that I had school and misses me then I stop contact. Since I would be the one to go to her town I don't know if I should wait for her to contact me because I'm the one who would be deciding to go.

If she does genuinely misses me, I'd go with it and see what happens. It wouldn't affect me either way. If she just wants to use me, I wouldn't mind some tail. The problem is should I leave her hanging and want me more or should I initiate it since she wouldn't know when I'm not busy.

If you want to spend your summer confused, lonely, pining over this girl, sure go visit her and chase that "tail"

If you want to finally move on, stop talking to her and make some new friends

Leave her alone, as you don't really care any way. Make another plan.

I don't know where you live, but dude... Summer = girls in bikinis! And you're single!

Between when we broke up and now she contacted me a number of times, about 5 times. Each time I gave in, but I learned and moved on.

The problem is should I leave her hanging and want me more or should I initiate it since she wouldn't know when I'm not busy.


I have two questions:

1. If you learned and moved on from this break up, shouldn't you already know the answer?

2. Why would you want to do that to someone?


Yeah, she broke up with you, but move on and don't try to hurt anyone along the way, regardless what she did to you in the past. Grow up man, don't stoop that low.

If you were over her, you would not be asking us these questions.

I agree that you might no longer have feelings for her, but it does not sound like you are over the break up. If you were over the break up, you would be immune to any effects from her communicating with you. You haven't even seen her yet and you are very affected by her text messages. So the best move is to continue the no contact so that you don't get anymore false signals from her that will only lead to confusion.

If you are single, listen to Rome... summer time!

She is toying with you and your just going put yourself in an awful position by messing around with her.

She doesn't run no show and you don't have to do something just because she wants you to.

Some doors are meant to be kept closed.

@ajGambino-because I want to be in control of everything, if I did leave her alone that's doing the same thing, but you're right. Anyway. Wow. I thought it was just in my head. I'm hot, young and single! What the hell was I thinking? Of course I thought she was toying with me, but what if she's not just toying with me? That's why I was thinking of playing it out and make sure. Thanks so much everyone.

@ajGambino-because I want to be in control of everything, if I did leave her alone that's doing the same thing, but you're right. Anywho. Wow. I thought it was just in my head. I'm hot, young and single! What the hell was I thinking?! Of course I thought she was toying with me, but what if she's not just toying with me? That's why I was thinking of playing it out and make sure. Thanks so much everyone.

You cannot control everything. It's impossible. And you can't control people. You can try to manipulate people and the situation. But should you. Usually it only backfires in the end and makes you look like a tool for even trying. If your wanting to met up to try to get one last stab or make her feel bad you shouldn't go. If you want to go to see how she's doing and have no other motive than that's different. Sometimes being a man is just letting things go...

If you want to spend your summer confused, lonely, pining over this girl, sure go visit her and chase that "tail"

If you want to finally move on, stop talking to her and make some new friends

I have to spread rep around before giving you more, Romefalls... but this answer is perfect!