I know this isn't necessarly a normal "relationships" question but is about a situation with my best friend.

About 5 months ago, my friend Kyle and I discussed potentially buying a house together. We are both 25 years old and have been very close friends for a number of years. Kyle meanwhile has been dating Stephanie for nearly 3 years. I am very close with her as well and consider her one of my better friends. Kyle and Stephanie have been living with each other for probably 18 months.

Anyway, as I said, we decided we would buy a house together. I had a lease in an apartment that was going to end at the end of April, and Kyle and Stephanie's lease is scheduled to end in early July, so we decided that we would buy something and hopefully close in June. In the meantime, I would live on their couch (they have a 1 bedroom apartment) between the time my lease ended and we got the house.

Things were not progressing too quickly - we couldn't seem to find a house we all liked. The end of April came and I moved in with them. It should be noted that I was spending nearly every weekend with them for close to the last year. About 3 weeks ago, we found a few houses with potential, but had issues closing the deal. We had typically been very proactive in trying to close deals once we submitted offers, but this time was different. We were all clearly growing tired of the process, but none the less trying to finalize something. Over the past few days, Kyle started acting somewhat odd and wasn't overly willing to talk about the house search...

Then today, I got the bad news. Kyle no longer wants to buy a house together. He gave me a few reasons and, while they very well may be legitimate, I can't help but feel that he just didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth (and please know this is my guess) - they are starting to feel like I am a 3rd wheel and they no longer want to live with me.

So now, at this point, I'm living on the couch at a friend's house that I will no longer be living with not long down the line and don't know where to go from here. I was told I can stay as long as I need until I find somewhere else, but if they are feeling smothered (and unfortunately won't admit it), I would clearly be better off moving out sooner rather than later. On one hand, I want to move out immediately but I really, really don't want them to think that I no longer like them and am therefore getting out ASAP.

I love both of them and don't want this to damage our friendship. They are virtually family to me. At the same time, I feel somewhat betrayed by this whole thing. They really didn't have to go through anything close to what I had to to make this work and now it was all for naught.

What do I do? Do I move out and tell them that I still love them and hope this situation doesn't change anything between us? Do I move out and then call them next weekend as if nothing happened? Something else? Any advice is appreciated.

If I was you I would move out and like you said pretend like nothing happened and please know I am not an expert just putting myself in your shoes.It does seem perhaps they have decided to go it alone and don't want to hurt your feelings and want to save the friendship as well.Buying a house together with anyone is a major step and not to be taken lightly .They probably aren't being completely honest with you because they are scared of hurting your feelings so keep your chin up and make the move first while the friendship is still at a good point.You don't want it to be completely ruined.

...they are starting to feel like I am a 3rd wheel and they no longer want to live with me.

Well, you are a third wheel (or a pet, or a grown child). They have a romantic relationship and I would think your presence impacts certain aspects of it. Don't take it personally, but try to put yourself in their shoes if the positions were reversed.

Also, thank the powers-that-be that the three of you are not now joined at the hip by a property that would have to be equitably divided to the satisfaction of three parties in the event any one of the parties decided to pursue a new direction with their life. Co-mingling large assets and financials is one sure-fire way to damage a friendship. I learned that at a young age by buying an Atari 2600 and a selection of games with my cousin. A custody battle ensued...


Do I move out and tell them that I still love them and hope this situation doesn't change anything between us?

There doesn't need to be so much drama. Just start looking for your own place. You can be hurried inside without showing it on the outside.


Do I move out and then call them next weekend as if nothing happened?

Move in a week or two or however long it takes, then invite them over on the weekend to see the new place, and then let the dust settle for a bit by skipping a weekend or two. Make up something for you to do that requires your absence. Might also be healthy to develop another friendship(s).

I'd move out as soon as I could. They don't have to know, just say you appreciate the help but the couch isn't comfortable anymore and you feel you need to be an adult and feel as though you can provide for yourself. After you move out, maybe ask them to help you move to show no hard feelings, then continue the relationship the same way you did before, while finding new friends.