I was with a girl for 9 months... First girl I have ever loved so much I would literally DIE for her... In the beginning of the relationship is was so good... SO much love and excietment... We moved in together and everything was fine... She liked to drink and party a lot and so did I... As time when on we moved out and had to move back in with her parents... I lived with her, her mom, and her brother... Her mom and brother both hated me for some odd reason... Well as time went on I didn't like the drinking and partying as much... It got to a point where when she would drink and party and go to parties without me it hurt me so much and all I could do is worry and worry about what she was doing and if she is OK... After this I got in a fight with her brother and got kicked out of her house... I then had to go live with my grandmother which was only not even 5 mintues away so it wasn't to big of a deal... After a while I just got so sick of the having to drink and party EVERY weekend that I told her you need to choose me or the alcohol... She chose me... But a month went by and one night she got very drunk at a party and I found out.. She told me she had been drinking the whole month she said she hadn't... I then lost almost all of my trust for her... I didn't want her doing anything... Not hanging out with her friends and she agree'd because she loved me... It got ot a point where finally one day she said I'm hanging out with my friends and drinking... I threatened to break up with her if she was to do this... Of course I didn't want to I love her to death but it was a scare tactic... Well the next day after that we had a talk... I understood that I was being to crazy about not letting her see her friends but I didn't see how her not drinking had to be such a big issue if she loved me as much as she said... End the end she a week later said it wasn't the same anymore and we broke up... But we broke up on good terms... I got all my stuff from her house while she was there and we cryed together and hugged and said all of our last goodbyes... She said she loves me but what she needs right now is space... I was willing to let her drink all she wanted and hang out with all her friends... Anything to just be with her... Well we ended good and we understood why we should break up and all... We said all of our goodbyes and kissed one last time and I left... Its been about a week, I can't do this... I miss her so much, and it hurts me that she wasn't willing to give up a drug for me... I would have given anything up for her... I dropped out of school so we could live together and moved in with her mom and brother that hated me just so I could be with her... She said she loved me so much and wanted to marry me... I was going to ask her to marry me a couple days before the break up... I just don't know how to get over her and just stop thinking about how much I love her and miss her... My father died a couple years before this and its just as hard as when he died... I feel like a perosn I loved so much I can never ever see again.. But this is worse because I know they are there but I just can't have them... I just miss her so much and am sorry for everything wrong I did and just want to be back with her... It was all because of her drinking... I just didn't like it anymore... I hated it... It made me have anxiety and it would physically hurt me when she drank... Can you guys help me tell me what I should do? Should I try and get her back? Or should I move on? WHAT SHOULD I JUST DO IN GENERAL?

It sounds to me that the two of you might have moved a little fast... the two of you were together for 9 months and you have lived together and everything?

It also sound to me that the relationship was a little rocky. And I do sympathies with the fact that you got tired of the constant partying... to party a lot can be fun for a certain amount of time, but after a while it can become pointless for some people. And if the two of you had a relationship that was centered around partying, then it can easily fall apart when one tries of it.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, I'm just going to give you my opinion and you can take it or leave it, and others on AMHD might also chime in with their opinions and suggestions, that way you can see what sounds like an option for you... and maybe give you some ideas as to what you can do to heal and move on.


It does seem like a good idea to move on, from your post is seems that you made her your life, you gave up important things to be with her, lived with people who didn't like you... some times when we do stuff like that its easy to loose sight of oneself. I do not recommend, however, to try and get her back... that rarely ever works and it might just cause you more pain in the long run. Besides she wanted space and to be away from you. You should respect her decision, no matter how painful that is.


Its only been a week and of course its painful, you've spent a lot of time together and suddenly she is no longer a part of your life...

My suggestion is that you should try and find a way to move on with your life and create a life that's centered around you... you and your well being. You sound young, so if you get the opportunity to go back to school that is a good idea anyway. (I personally believe that school gives you opportunities in life, it can also give a sense of meaning and purpose.)

1. find activities that you enjoy.
2. hang out with your friends
3. start to work out or find a hobby that makes you happy
4. make new friends?
5. spend time with the people around you, keep yourself busy so you don't spend that much time thinking about what you have lost, but rather look for things that make sense and give you a purpose in the now.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad!

I hope this was of some help!

Best of luck!

Roxy

Ps: a link that might be useful:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-expect-when-you-get-dumped-123862.html (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/what-expect-when-you-get-dumped-123862.html)