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View Full Version : My boyfriend is starting to see me as a friend


Katiebabe
May 20, 2009, 12:04 AM
Hello,

Me and my boyfriend, I'm 20 and he is 26, have been together for two years, and over the last six months we decided to go live in the UK and travel around Europe early next year. He has been pushing for us to go get quotes and working out everything for going over there. As soon as we were about to book the ticket last week, he started to stress out about going, saying that we probably will fight while we are over there, what if we break up while we are over there, etc. Which I didn't understand cause when we first got together we did but now we don't fight much at all. Another issue has evolved from this, throughout the last 3-4 months our sex life has pretty much diminshed, about once every two to three weeks. This isn't me who feels this way, it is always him who says he is too tired. So just before we were going to book our holiday he has decided that he wants to go on a break to think about things, saying that he is starting to see me more as a friend and wants to go out and be young while he still can. He has decided that he wants to go on this trip with his best mate instead. I guess I understand how silly this all sounds to why I'd still want to be with someone after they did this. But do you think that he is freaking out over commitment? He has said that if we don't break up now we'll prob end up getting married. Its all in his head, I'm only 20 I'm definitely not thinking about marriage and have never said so. Wat do I do? Should I end it?

teastalk
May 20, 2009, 12:19 AM
He's stupid. In the years after marriage people don't have sex very often. Your significant other should be your best friend of the gender you're attracted to. Someone you trust completely, respect, are honest with, communicate well with, etc.

If he wants you, he'll want you even if you said that you didn't want to be with him.

Nestorian
May 20, 2009, 12:46 AM
I took a girl friend on a trip once, 6 weeks to Australia and New Zealand. Though it was super sweet, I think I would like to have gone alone with out her. She made it hard to enjoy the things I was into, and I did a lot of things for her, and spent most of my spending money on her. Stupid move as she left me soon after. Also she even told me she stopped loving me after we paid for the trip. I felt so used, like I paid for a girl friend.

The point being, if you go on a trip with a significant other, never go with them unless you are 30 or older or married. When you are young there are so many things you want to do, expereince, but if you two go together, one is bound to sacrifice something for the other, just like I did. I had to refrain from doing fun things so she would still have the money to eat. Very frustrating, but I have only myself to be mad at.

So he maybe just thinking of this factor. Also some people like to sleep around while they travel as they figure they won't see those people again. Personally that's kind of sick, but hey to each their own eh.

I suggest you let go, and focus on what you want. Go on a trip with one of your friends, if you can't find any one, or don't think any one will go with you, try contiki, for people 18-35. Fun, relatively safe as every thing is dangerous.

Peace and kindness be with you.

talaniman
May 20, 2009, 08:24 AM
End what? This has been over a long time, just he never bothered to tell you.

liz28
May 20, 2009, 08:55 AM
He told you he wants to free because he is young and wants to get out there and experience new experiences. He thinks he is missing out on something and to be honest there is nothing left for you to do but move on.

He doesn't want a relationship and you would think since he is a little older than you he would have serve his wild oats already.

However I am glad he fess up before the trip was book but you can still book a trip for yourself. He doesn't stop no show.

You go out and have fun and you will meet someone else because your still young. I think you knew things was changing between you and him but he was just prolonging a break-up because maybe he didn't know how to tell you. Listen to his words and let go. Sorry this happen but what don't kill you only makes you stronger.

Romefalls19
May 20, 2009, 10:35 AM
This relationship has been going downhill for awhile, I don't see how it's a surprise now that it's over. Just let him go do his own life, and you do yours. You are still young, experience it

I wish
May 20, 2009, 03:53 PM
I think it's a simple matter of him not feeling the same way about you anymore. His feelings for you has been changing for a while now, but he only dropped the bomb right before his trip to Europe.

There's nothing you can do anymore, just accept that he doesn't feel the same way and move on with your life.