SeanMPollard
May 18, 2009, 08:02 PM
I've been to psychologists and psychiatrists my general diagnosis is that I have severe depression, anxiety, and possible schizophrenia. For the past 5 years or so I have been supporting my mentally unstable wife. And for the past year I've been doing my best to handle her and my daughter. I don't know how long I can do this. I lost my job not too long ago, we're literally living off welfare and handouts. And sure maybe I could do more to get a Job, but I couldn't really do it without neglecting my family. Because all my time is taken up by either helping my wife with her issues or raising my daughter, I can't really find the time to take care of my own mental health problems that keep getting worse. I love my wife and my daughter, but that doesn't mean I was ready for it. I know I should have waited on becoming a father, I should have taken the time to get me and my wife straight before bringing someone else into it. But none of that can be undone. People have told me I need to leave my wife, but I absolutely will not. How can I relieve some of this stress? I've tried everything. Tried meditation, it works but it gets a little difficult to maintain when there is a screaming child in the other room. I've been on medication, all it did was turn me into either a zombie or someone I didn't like. I've tried recreational drugs, like hemp, but in today's economy even that is hard to find a good price, and for someone who is actively seeking work its not a practical treatment. I live in California and I am trying to get a medical marijuana card, as it is the only medication that has shown me results I approve of. But with my insurance it takes so long. Anything would help, supportive words, tips, anything, please. I'm at my wits end, I can't even keep myself from crying as I write this. Please help me.