Hi, Im "Hurtin". I have an issues that has come up a couple times..
I have talked with my counsellor about this before.. But Im not sure
If that's only her opinion.. Okay so here is my Issue. I'm fifteen.. and Im
Dating someone who is turning eighteen in like a month.. I have been dating him
For like.. two months.. But him and I have been in love for at least a year...

We finally thought we were able to date.. But Once I told my father..
He went CRAZY.. Ive never heard him say so many threats.. (towards
My boyfriend).. My grandparents love him.. (They are the ones I live with)
.. My father kind of disowned me because of it.. but that's beside the point..
We have had sex.. Which will be considered "illegal" in like a month.. But
Atm.. its not.. And well his mom is starting to get uptight about it..
She doesn't even like us sharing a bed now.. (She knows we've had sex.. )
And now she's starting to say.. Its just not right.. (for us to sleep beside each other)

I would like to know.. If in a month.. is it actually just going to be all of a sudden
Illegal?. Like if you think about it.. The day he turns eighteen.. he's only one
Day older then he was yesterday.. kind of thing.. you know?. so I just don't understand
Why he can be charged nor why he can be put in jail..

What If I wanted it.. Like if we do anything sexual.. WHY does he have to
Get introuble.. is there anything I can do to prove to everyone..
Hes not the bad guy..

If you are not living with your father and are having trouble with him and you are living under the right circumstances you can petition the court to grant you emancipation. This would be the same as saying you are have the rights of an 18 year old.

Of course I am not sure about your state so if you post your question about it under the Law section maybe someone will see it and give you the right answer.

You are 15, depending on what state you live in you are probably under the age of consent. That means its ALREADY illegal for you to have sexual relations. Doesn't matter how old he is. That's probably why his mother is freaking because if your father reports him to the police, he could be prosecuted and jailed.

The deed is done, so your best option is to do what your parents want so they don't go to the police.

Emancipation Definition (http://marriage.about.com/od/teenmarriage/g/emancipation.htm)

How to Become an Emancipated Minor | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_4472195_become-emancipated-minor.html)

Emancipation seldom actually works, first you have to afford to do it, which most teens don't have a full time job and go to high school and have enough money for an attorney.
Most courts I have seen don't see you living with grandma ( they could just get custody) they want to see ou affording to live on your own and pay all of your own bills.
Next they want there to be a problem that requries you to do this, Your father getting upset over you having sex with a older boy, will actually show him as a good father to most courts.

The fact is depending on when you started having sex, few places allow a 15 year old, and no place in the US allows a 14 year to legally have sex.

So don't know why you think in a month it will be illegal, it may change from a misdemeanor to a felony but it is still rape in most places. And your dad can report it if he wishes.

So if you are not at home because of this, time for you to do what dad says and stop seeing this man.

Okayy.. I understand why she is uptight now..
But the thing is.. I want to know If there is anything I can
Do.. like say my father does report him to the police..

Like No one in my family knows Im having a sexual relationship
With him.. so they don't really have a right to go to the police.. right?

Ive lived with my grandparents for over a year now.. Why?. because my father and my step mother abused me.. so Its not that Im stuck up.. and not listening to him.. Im not allowed to

If they believe you are having sex, they may turn it over to children welfare and more. And of course if you ended up pregnant that would be enough proof also.

I think the bigger issue is that you are 15 and having sex, and have a history of being abused. I think you are really young for this serious of a relationship, and any man of 18 - or older teen even - should be able to recognize you are too young. I mean, kids turn 15 in the year after the graduate from 8th grade - that's way young.

It is already illegal for your boyfriend to have sex with you, and be aware 17 year olds can be tried as adults. Your family may not know about your sex life but they could certainly find out.

I think you need to talk to your counselor about why you feel like you need to have sex at this age, and push yourself to grow up so fast. And you should not do it any more if you don't want your boyfriend to end up in jail.

What type of abuse did you suffer? Was this reported to the authorities? Did you just move in with your parent's or do they have guardianship over you?

None of that alters the illegality of your sexual relationship.

I also am bothered by this statement; "I have been dating him
for like.. two months.. But him and I have been inlove for at least a year..."

At your age knowing you are in love is an iffy thing. I don't quite understand how you can think you are in love with someone until you have been dating them. If you have been engaging in sexual activity only since you started dating, there is a possibility this guy is taking advantage of you because you are letting him into your pants.

But the bottomline here is you are jail bait. If you two are truly in love, then you should wait until you are at least over the age of consent to engage in sexual activity.

Hello Hurting...
I couldn't agree more with the others giving you advise. However I'm going to give you big brother advice that I give my nieces who refer to me as the "Cool Uncle". Now I presume this is not just your first sexual relationship but it's also you first real love relationship as well...
I know your tired of hearing you're just a kid and shouldn't be sexually active but it's true. You're to nieve to understand the god given power you possess over men. Making love is a privilege for guys not a responsibility of girl. Guys are a sure thing girls aren't they have that power over us to say nope. Value yourself realize your power and tell this man if he loves you he'll wait and respect your family because your still a minor and it's a package deal. Don't forget just because the deed has been done doesn't mean you can't postpone your actions until the time is right. Therefore don't you think for a second that your little world is coming to an end because it's not! Little-one this is just the beginning. I'm sure it wasn't very long ago when you'd have a tantrum over not getting your way. Well this is another example of your being to young to deal with this maturely. Have you ever heard that song I fought the law and the law won? Anyway if you disagree because you truly love this boy and he truly loves you then your only mature option would be to get married (I only say this because I know for a fact he wouldn't do it). Your story is like a book I read 10 times so I suggest you listen to his Ma and your Pa. Anyhow Welcome to the game of life (Although you're hella early). Just understand that there will be other boys along the way and realize you will turn 21 in a few years because that little-one is when life and fun truly begin! I pray that you'll be able to look back at this moment and laugh because you're enjoying the single life or dating someone handsome who deserves you and didn't need to prey on 14-15yr olds because he had no life.

That's all I got... Oh and don't forget birthcontrol it's free!

Peace and God bless!

I agree with all the above. One other concern I have is... are your grandparents in support of this? If he is reported or someone finds out, your grandparents are ultimately responsible for you. Kids do not realize that adults take the fall for your actions a lot of times... your grandparents may be in trouble if they allow this.
You are too young to be worried about all this... this is why these laws are in place... and you are not old enough to really think clearly about your decisions.
What does your counselor say??

If your grandparents are your guardians, then they set the rules you must live by, and can have him put under the jail.

What If I wanted it.. Like if we do anything sexual.. WHY does he have to get in trouble.. is there anything I can do to prove to everyone.. Hes not the bad guy..

Rape doesn't always mean the other party didn't allow what happened. Taking advantage of one's youth and innocence is one thing. Ever heard of a kid raped because she was lured by a toy or a candy? Sure you are not that toy or food crazy anymore but still in your age, you still don't have enough understanding what are you getting into.
All you think is how you feel now: you're curious and you are in a rush. Trust me, most mistakes are rooted from these feelings.

Can you imagine that he will go into jail or you may realized later on you are acting stupid because "he made fool out of you just to get laid and brag something on his friends" and you'll say " These freaking older fellas are right" and it's too late?

We and your folks are not saying these because we don't want you to enjoy, do what you want. It's for your guy and own good.

One thing that grown up people learned is that
things that are for good doesn't always mean pleasant feelings You are the one who posted so I guess hopefully, you'll open your heart. Good Luck.

If I were u, I'd keep your sex life to yourself. It's your sex life, it's personal. There is no reason to tell anyone about it. If you really do love him, then that's all that matters. I was in the same situation as you, dating an adult when I was still a minor, and as far as I'm concerned, what happens between us is our business. Just keep a low profile.

If you're really sure he's the right one and don't want to break up because some stupid law dictates you can't be in love with a guy 3 years older than you and is 18. Love knows no boundaries. I suggest if you really love him to keep a low profile.

I don't exactly agree with the comments of the others - they cannot possibly understand the emotions (if any) you have for this guy so I'd say just screw it. You only get to live your life once... just be careful, because if you get him into jail, that'd be the biggest regret of your life.

So play safe.

Have fun.

dont want to break up coz some stupid law dictates u can't be in love with a guy 3 years older than you ...


i dont exactly agree with the comments of the others - they cannot possibly understand the emotions (if any) you have for this guy so i'd say just screw it. you only get to live your life once...just be careful, coz if you get him into jail, that'd be the biggest regret of your life.



I'm curious as to what happened in your situation where an adult was involved with a child.

These are NOT stupid laws. That children are too often not emotionally mature enough to know what love truly is, plus they may fall prey to the glamour of an older person taking interest in them.

And why would you think we can't understand the emotions. Most of us have been through similar things and have gone through those emotions, but are now able to look back from the wisdom of experience and make a better judgement of what we went through back then. Children often do not understand that adults have experienced what they are experiencing now and have that knowledge to help make better judgements.

The ONLY way to be careful enough to keep the older person out of jail is to not engage in sexual activity, period!

Yeah the emotion is hard. That is why most parents do not let kids date until a certain age. She should be worrying about teenager things, like school, fun, prom, friends, being silly and goofy, building identity, college plans, future goals, driving a car! Instead she is worried her boyfriend might go to jail. That is NOT WHAT SHE SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT AT THIS AGE!! This is why the maturity level is not there... and we are not built to have them at athis age... and if she got pregnant... this is NOT WHAT SHE SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT!
OUr mission in life is not sex... well, I would hope. It is to be happy. And if all this stress is not happy, then that is where it is at.
Focus on what is your responsibility as a teenager... refer above! :)

Yep you are already jail bait... one month doesn't make you illegal you are already illegal.
I don't think there are many states if any that 15 is okay.
He may not be a bad guy but you are putting him in a bad position.

As Fr_Chuck said emancipation has many guidelines and your guardians have to approve.

What state or country are you in?