Hello, I have just bumped into my daughter whom I have not seen since she was a very young baby. She is now 24 and working in a neighbouring town to me. I have always wanted to see her but the more years went by the harder it got to get intouch with my ex girlfriend. My daughter served me face to face in the shop where she works, she did not know who I was but I knew her as my mother lives in the same town and has seen her working there before. I did'nt think it would have such a devastating effect on me when I came face to face with her but now I am a total wreck, I feel totally heartbroken and can't get her out of my mind. The last time I saw her she was such a small baby but now she is such a beautiful young woman. I don't know what to do next.. please please help. [/B]

Can you get in touch with her mother?

If not, I would suggest a short letter telling her who you are, a bit about the last 24 years of your life and information about how to get in touch with you or a designated "safe" representative (your mother?) to get more information.

After that, leave it to her. If she isn't interested, that's that and you should probably suck it up and not pursue it any further. There is very likely a lot of resentment in her about the absence and there is no way to know how she will want to deal with it.

Non-confrontational is your best path. You may even speak to a local social worker who works with adoptions and see if they will facilitate the contact.

Edited to add: do not go back to her work.