Me and my brother are both teens and we are really mean to each other and I don't want to be but even if I ask him to be nicer he won't be he is older and has the advantage being a boy and me being a girl he is stronger and bigger and more creative at ways to torture me how can I make this stop?

I thought you are 12. That's not a teen.

Be nice to him. Kill him with kindness. Stop picking on him.

Can you talk to your parents about it? It's tough living with someone who makes your life a misery. I have a solution but it takes a lot of courage and effort to put into practise. Begin by using the affirmation ‘Give first take later’. This means that you begin to treat your brother the way you would like him to treat you. No mater what he does or says don’t rise to the bate, be the better person, kill him with kindness until he begins to feel like crap if he is mean to you. It isn’t an easy thing to do but it does work.

Well my mom considers that a teen and she insists I do to!(im quite weirded out by this fact cause I don't think anything but an age with the word 'teen' in it classifys as a teen) I used to but no deal so now we fight to the death until my mom inturupts

You could just break down in front of him, start crying and if he recognizes this, maybe then tell him how hard it is on you. He may just think it's a trick, you know like a joke. To get him to let his guard down.

Talk to him, and be open honest. Girls are usually much more creative than guys, and girls "mature" faster. Use knowledge to reach him.

I'm not sure what else to say as I don't 'know what things he is doing that are upsetting you so. How does he torture you?

May peace and kindness be with you.

he tortures me by taking my special toys and typing in extremely random and creepy things into my msn convo's and he calls me weird and disrespectful names and just saunters into my room and takes stuff or reads my conversations on the computer and sometimes flops on my bed and annoys me
good idea with the breakdown thing but I am unable to cry? It is so weird my eyes will water slightly but no tears accualy fall or brim my eyesbut ill give in not fight him anymore if that will do it

I have an older brother (5 yrs older) and he used to torture me when we were growing up too. Eventually, we both got older and grew out of it.

In the meantime, don't give him the satisfaction of reacting to the things he does. He will stop because it won't be fun if he's not getting a rise out of you.

You culd take self defence. I know girls that are 16-17 that could kick my butt in Teakwondo, and some in M.M.A. and even boxing. I wouldn't mess with them if you paid me too.

The girl in Teakwondo can kick so hard that bigger guys like 200lbs have to take a step back from her when she hits the target pad, while she stands there and slightly leans back when they kick the pad. These people are of the same belt but one, the girl, has learned proper kicking technique. Very powerful, fast, and hard.

The M.M.A. girl can wrap me up in to a head lock with her legs before I can shift myself out of her guard, when the person on top is wrapped around the wast by the person on the floor's legs. I try to refrain from messing with her too, as she can break an arm before some one knew what the heck was going on.

The boxing girl can hit twice the speed, and power I can. She moves slower in body but controlled and perposful. That means she knows where she wants to possion her self to find an opening on me. Before I know it, I have a black eye, or bloody nose.

These girls are smaller than me, and can't lift as much wieght as me either. They still can take me with out breaking a sweat, why? Because they know more and practice more.

Ever think of that?

I used to take tai kwan doe but I will not use violence against my brother even though he is mean to me he is still family! Violence is not the answer to everything!

Huh, acctaully your brother is annoying, but not that bad.

I've known a few girls who's brothers punch them, and I mean hit them hard enough to bruise them. The brothers also would take the girls money, or break meaning ful objects to the girls. Just because they felt they could. Honestly these were, still are but they grew up, my cousins. They were terrifyingly crazy at times.

Your brother seems board and wants your attention. Not sure if that's it, but it may be. Or maybe he is jelous you got something he doesn't. Who knows, but you can find out.

i used to take tai kwan doe but i will not use violence against my brother even though he is mean to me he is still family! Violence is not the answer to everything!

I didn't say violence. Well boxing is quite aggressive like that, but M.M.A. and Tea kwon do don't need violence. You can put him in a submission move and force him to stop, with out really hurting him. Just making him uncomfortable. ;) I strongly suggest talking to him more, and get to the bottom of it, or you'll have to just tough it out.

May peace and kindness be with you

He does hurt me but not bad it kind of seems like a playful kind of fighting but I could definitely hurt him more I know where his weak spots are and I give him scars with my nails I tickle him till he can barly breath

Well the submissive part I do I tackle him till he falls(give me a break this kid is 6'1) and I sit on him and hold his arms and legs down till he gives me what I want back, back

Your brother wants your attention. Stop what you are doing when he comes around you or into your room... TALK to him, nicely, even when he starts his "thing"... eventually he will stop trying to get your attention in hurtful ways... and the writings he puts on your "?" whatever that thing is, (I am old).. put a note beside it that says "My Brother doesn't know how to express his love for me. I love you ______<fill in his name". My brother used to torture me... I think it's a way guys have of trying to get your attention but they don't really know how to do it properly yet... so teach him... like everyone said, kill him with kindness, do something nice for him, smile at him, laugh WITH him... have him take you out for ice cream... or a movie... show him how to treat you... boys! Lol

well the submissive part i do i tackle him till he falls(give me a break this kid is 6'1) and i sit on him and hold his arms and legs down till he gives me what i want back, back

Haha, I meant use an arm bar, when wrestling, or grab his arm and twist it behind his back, he'll buckle to his knees and stay until you are finished with him, as long as you keep the pressure on, he won't move. It'd hurt too much. From there you can put any number of sleeper holds, or wrap your legs around his wast, from behind, then pull him back with your hold and squeeze with your legs. This makes it hard for him to breath, then your legs cause him difficulty with breathing too, and it is a distraction.

But I s'pose it's better not to use such tactics. As I said, talk to him, and if need be your parents.

Take care at any rate OK. Peace be with you.

Thanks but seems how me and my brother and I are so tall and we each take after different parents(we don't really look alike) if we do anything social alone people think we are boyfriend and girlfriend! I will try the other suggestions to though

thanks but seems how me and my brother and i are so tall and we each take after different parents(we don't really look alike) if we do anything social alone people think we are boyfriend and girlfriend! i will try the other suggestions to though


LOL... That's the best weapon you could use against him... tell him the next time you two are in public together you will act like his girlfriend if he continues to torture you, but tell him in a playful way, and that you want him to be your big brother, someone you can count on, someone that will fight FOR you, not WITH you, and tell him what he does that bothers you, and HOW to get your attention... he just needs to know what he is doing wrong and what he needs to do to get your attention when he wants it... it really sounds like you two are actually very close... turn the torture into love and respect for each other...

If it bothers you too much, ask your mum/dad to take both of you to a counselor. Have some structure to getting the points across.

It would be wise of you to find out your brother's point of view, and reasons for doing what he does. Or simply bother him around his friends making things even. He is invading upon your space, so invade upon his too, but be careful about that. You don't want to push too far/hard or things may get much worse.

As for the rude messages, block him. If he askes why let him know in a respectable and serious manner.

Then there is Psychological investigating. Pay attention to his life and find out what he is passionate about, and what he is afraid of and try to figure him out essencially. Try to find out if he feels particularly upset about anything and if he needs to get it out, and isn't sure how to talk to any one, and bugs you in the hopes to either, forget about his troubles by creating minor issues with you, or if he is just so confused about how to express his feelings and issues that he just tries to let it out in other ways.

The bottom line, step up to the plate sister, and say enough is enough, stop it.

Good luck.