Casse
May 1, 2009, 09:48 AM
Hello all… I’ve been browsing through this topic for a couple of days, and I could really use some feedback and an objective opinion regarding my situation.
Jumping right to the chase, my boyfriend and I are currently taking some ”space” apart (at his insistence) as he wants time to sort out his feelings and decide whether he wants to continue the relationship. This particular request for space came as a result of a recent misunderstanding between us – I saw it as a relatively minor bump in the road - he saw it otherwise. I know that the only thing I can do is respect his wishes as pushing for contact only makes things worse, and I’m trying to do that though it’s extremely difficult for me. I’m a let’s talk it out here and now kind of person, and he prefers to withdraw and retreat to his cave to lick his wounds alone. This isn’t the first time this has happened - it seems to be his coping mechanism for dealing with these types of issues - he typically eventually comes around, but we have to go through this frustrating “space” process first. I’ve witnessed a similar sort of behavior when conflicts have arisen with family members as well. All I can do is make it clear to him how I feel and then hope for the best.
We’ve been together for over 2 years, and have an otherwise wonderful and loving relationship. He’s extremely considerate and kind, we get along great, and are the best of friends. I know that communication is the key to a good relationship, and we do have it, however sometimes it’s a difficult process to start.
I love this man, and I feel what we have makes it worthwhile to try and work through this once again. There have been and will be ups and downs (as with any relationship) but at this point the good far outweighs the bad. I am planning to suggest counseling which I’m hoping might help us both to handle these types of problems more effectively. That is IF he’s willing to work things out – I’m of course very worried that this time he won’t be. It’s probably worthwhile to point out here that his definition of space does not include seeing other people, and infidelity is not an issue.
I know everyone handles things in their own individual way. Has anyone out there been on the giving or receiving end of this type of conflict, and any tips on how to deal with it more effectively? How much space is enough?
Jumping right to the chase, my boyfriend and I are currently taking some ”space” apart (at his insistence) as he wants time to sort out his feelings and decide whether he wants to continue the relationship. This particular request for space came as a result of a recent misunderstanding between us – I saw it as a relatively minor bump in the road - he saw it otherwise. I know that the only thing I can do is respect his wishes as pushing for contact only makes things worse, and I’m trying to do that though it’s extremely difficult for me. I’m a let’s talk it out here and now kind of person, and he prefers to withdraw and retreat to his cave to lick his wounds alone. This isn’t the first time this has happened - it seems to be his coping mechanism for dealing with these types of issues - he typically eventually comes around, but we have to go through this frustrating “space” process first. I’ve witnessed a similar sort of behavior when conflicts have arisen with family members as well. All I can do is make it clear to him how I feel and then hope for the best.
We’ve been together for over 2 years, and have an otherwise wonderful and loving relationship. He’s extremely considerate and kind, we get along great, and are the best of friends. I know that communication is the key to a good relationship, and we do have it, however sometimes it’s a difficult process to start.
I love this man, and I feel what we have makes it worthwhile to try and work through this once again. There have been and will be ups and downs (as with any relationship) but at this point the good far outweighs the bad. I am planning to suggest counseling which I’m hoping might help us both to handle these types of problems more effectively. That is IF he’s willing to work things out – I’m of course very worried that this time he won’t be. It’s probably worthwhile to point out here that his definition of space does not include seeing other people, and infidelity is not an issue.
I know everyone handles things in their own individual way. Has anyone out there been on the giving or receiving end of this type of conflict, and any tips on how to deal with it more effectively? How much space is enough?