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krystal2929
Apr 29, 2009, 08:36 PM
I'm 29 yrs old and my boyfriend is 30 yrs old. We have been together for 7 yrs and we have a 6 yr old daughter together. He has been married once before for about 5 yrs. I myself have never been married. I love my boyfriend but he will not marry me, when I try to talk to him about it he gets quite or will change the subject.I feel like he will never marry me , I also feel like sometimes I'm wasting my time by waiting on him to marry me. Please help me, what should I do... Krystal from Louisiana

Alty
Apr 29, 2009, 08:51 PM
What will marriage change? Are you not happy with the relationship?

Although I love being married and I know to many people it is a spiritual connection, a show of commitment, really, in the end it's just a piece of paper.

Yes, if you aren't married then you don't have as many rights as a married couple do. Seeing as you have a child together it's definitely something that should be taken into consideration, but, it sounds like he's scared to go down that road again.

Talk to him about it, express why you feel the need to take this next step. Ask him why he's so reluctant to marry you.

Only he has the answers to the questions you have.

I hope it works out for you.

Gemini54
Apr 29, 2009, 08:54 PM
Why won’t your boyfriend propose? Probably because he doesn't want to.

Are in a happy relationship now? Do you bring spark and energy to each other’s lives? Do you enjoy your time together? Do you laugh together? Are you affectionate? Do you have a healthy sex life?

Your concern about getting married probably means that your'e anxious about the future and your security rather than focusing on what's happening now. Marriage is important. You want to know whether you’re wasting your time and you want a commitment. But if the relationship was wonderfully happy would you still feel this way?

You can’t make your boyfriend make a decision, but you can decide to stop waiting. You can focus on your own interests. Have interests away from your relationship as well as within. Start focusing on living the best possible life you can have now. Focus on being happy and energetic and living happily today.

If you are planning on entering a marriage it should be as a team, not as someone grateful to her boyfriend for deciding she is “the one”. There is no “the one”. There are simply compatible couples who commit to each other and make a go at living well.

Go and live your life - with him and independent of him. When you can honestly say you have been doing that for a while, hopefully the dynamics will change.

talaniman
Apr 29, 2009, 09:09 PM
Why is marriage so important? If it is, why are you still with a guy who doesn't want to be married?

J_9
Apr 29, 2009, 09:31 PM
Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?

Why should he marry you? He has been given everything he wants without that little piece of paper.

Since he was married once, this is something that should have been discussed before the child was even conceived.

You've been together 7 years... stop wasting your life. If he hasn't proposed by now, he probably won't.

muggyf
Apr 30, 2009, 12:10 AM
You have been together for seven years. That in itself is amazing. I wouldn't let this kill your relationship now. Planting the seed and reminding him is all you have. Don't push, don't push him away. Believe me he knows what you want and if he isn't going anywhere that's a plus.