As my title said I have tried resently to stop cutting myself, but I have urges and thougts about doing it and feels horrible! I don't know what to do, and I'm scared. Please give me advice.

Have you seen a doctor or a shrink?

What urges you to cut yourself?

How old are you?

Why do you cut yourself? Do any of your friends cut themselves?

Why did you think this was okay?

Its because I'm having a hard time with friends, not boys, but friends that I can talk to. And I Never WANT to see a shrink what do they do any way I have a choice not to talk to them and I'm not going to. I'm in grade 9.

Help please, I'm scared

I know I seem pretty messed up but when I found this site I thought you people might be able to help me or at least give me some advice, I know that seeing a shrink sounds like a good idea but I will only talk to some body if I feel comfortable talking to them about this problem

Talking with somebody is very important. Yes, we say it is good to also speak with a counsellor. Some people are very wary of this but it is very helpful. How old are you? You're a teenager. Hormones are going all weird and growth spurts can be challenging. A counsellor, if a good one will not try to feed you medication but will try to get to the root of the problem. They will ask you questions and probably give you ideas on other ways of dealing with this urge. Figuring out what triggers this behaviour is very important. You need to be willing to answer questions. If you do not, then it will be hard to help you. Everything is confidential.

Joe

Urges are just simple, I have something bad happen, a friend ditches me at school, says she'll call never does, all that, and I'll come home and want to cut myself, I hate it, but this thing won't go away

But WHY do you want to cut yourself?
Let's go a little deeper, if you don't mind. Let me ask you a few questions and maybe we can see better how to help you.

Is that okay with you?

Does the boy that you mention in your other post have anything to do with this?
Is he making life diffifult? You aren't giving mych to work with but like Jesushelper said there is nothing to fear from counselling!

I need to know things like this for example:

Do you have a hard time talking to people? Are you shy?

What is your family life like? Are your parents married, do they fight all the time?

Are you a perfectionist?

We need DETAILS!! The more you can give, the better we can help you.

Yes that's fine with me if you ask questions

Can you answer the questions above? Is that okay with you?

Well, my parent divorsed when I was like 4, but my dad has a girlfried/fieancey they fight a lot, I don't like her. I don't usually have ahard time talking to people but I feel like I can't tell a lot of people my inner thoughts and emotions. I'm only shy when I'm depressed or feeling low. And I'm far froma perfectionist but I do beat on myself about how hard I tried and how I could have done things. I play sports and read. I like to write and draw. I usually write short stories, mostly about toubled teenage girls that have family problems or have a seriouse problem in there life. I write poetry, the subjects vary from suicide to the moon and stars. Is that enough information?

I may come and go, I have a bussy scedual and can't go online a lot of the time. About 20 minutes ago my sister and I had a pretty bad fight, she's the only oither person who knows I cut myself I regret telling her though. If I don't do something she black mails me by say she will tell my parents. I don't like it.

The boy has NOTHING to do with my cutting habit

It is really a great start!! You sound really talented!!

Do you live with your dad and his fiancé?

Okay, you say you "beat on yourself" about how hard you tried and how you could have done things. Well, I want you to keep this in mind AT ALL TIMES.

YOU CAN ONLY DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO. YOU CAN'T DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT.

It took me a long time to learn this. Now I am 42, with 4 kids and back in college. I just recently learned to live by this motto.

You might want to think about writing your stories maybe about yourself, like in a diary or journal. It may be a good thing to do this if you feel like cutting yourself. Do this instead. By all means don't share your journal with anyone. Those are your personal feelings.

There is nothing wrong with seeing a counselor, some of them are VERY helpful. I understand that you do not want to talk to someone you don't know, but knowing someone comes with time. You may develop a close relationship and learn a lot about yourself.

Keep a journal about anything and everything. You can make it volumes!! You never know, you could help someone else later who has this problem, or you could become a rich novelist!

Just keep talking to us, we all have such great ideas. Someone will give you one you really like I am sure.

Keep your chin up kiddo and know that you are not alone.

Thanks that's a big help, I live with my dad part time

They figured that sharing equil time was best

What other things do you like to do?

Well I mostly play sports, draw, and write. That's about it. I'm not really that social, at all, I barely hang out with my friends, I only hang with my friends at school.

I think I may be suicidal. Yesterday night I had a dream about committing suicide at school. I woke this morning horrified. I don't want to see a shrink, I don't even want to tell my parents. I think I may go to our school counsellor. I hope she can help. I think I need to help myself more than I need some one to help me, or is getting help from some one helping me?

Pheeb,

Getting help from someone is MOST Definitely a way to help you. Never be afraid to ask for help. In anything.

I can't (or wasn't able to) do simple math. I had to go through MANY algebra courses to get into Nursing, but I asked for help, I got a tutor and now I am doing great.

So, please do not be afraid to ask for help.

Great, but what do you think the dream was about because, I have thought of suicide but never in a way of actually doing it.

In grade 6 I acually did a speech about what the average rate of people who commite suicied every year. Most of them are teenage boys, it was a very contaversial speech, in my class we had a sub and she thought it was silly of me to do a speech on something like that

The dream may be your subconscious making sure you do not commit suicide. It could be a way of scaring yourself into reality.

I know what you are feeling is scary. I know you do not want to tell your parents. But you have to talk to someone.

It is very important that you get these feelings out in the open. You eill feel better once you do, trust me. It might be hard in the beginning, but you will be better off when you do.

OK, I've already told my oldest and dearest friend

You are me... doesn't that sound strange. I waas a cutter too... about 20 years ago. You are NOT alone. I had suicide dreams and fantasies and was always cutting myself when I would get agitated or angry or upset. Years later I realized that for ME cutting was a way to show myself (and everyone else - even though I never really showed anyone) that NO ONE could hurt me as much as I could hurt myself. I am now 35 years old with two teenagers of my own. Those years in high school were the most difficult of my life. I was a mess and I felt very displaced I lived with various family members which just made it harder. I am sure that is a lot like living with one parent then the other. Do either of your parents spend time with you? Do you spend most of your time alone? I wish I could reach through the computer and put my arms around you. I remember being afraid all the time. On edge and not really comfortable in my own skin. Mostly like I just didn't belong.
I had a family member finally take me to counsellor. I was so mad that they took me there... several weeks went by that I didn't say a word. Just sat there mad as heck that I was there. I had to go 3 times a week after school. I was uncomfortable and ashamed and I WAS NOT going to talk to this guy.
Guess what... I did. Now I can look back and see what he did for me. He really helped me make it through all of that.
I'm here for you.

Well, my mom spends time with me, she tries to be there when I play soccer and when I am doing school stuff. My dad spends time with me when I'm doing sporty stuff, he likes sports and music. When I'm with my friends I feel a little left out like no body talks to me, or they feel weird talking to me. I had my birthday party resently and even then I felt like I had to talk to people. They didn't want to talk to me. It was weird. Although my oldest and dearest friend loves to talk to me, so yay

There is somebody who can help you on this web sit its me. Listen I can tell you first of all why you have these urges to gut yourself it not you it is this sprit inside of you that urges you to cut yourself the spirit of demons works in all of us to do bad thing everyday. Iam a christian and this world is not base on the world its but on a spiritual realm that is why people are giving you stupid answers because only a christian person can help you right now
How I can help you but you have to take me seriously and believe what I'm telling you is true and I guarantee you you will stop cutting yourself and live a happy life. Believe that jesus christ is the creator of the heavens and the earth, he is the only person who can make stop cutting yourself. Surrender your life the jesus and pray repent of your sins and ask for forgiveness and then pray and ask jesus to help you change your life he sees your present situation and the reason why he hasent helped you yet is because you haven't came to him and ask him for your help. Pray and repent first and they pray everyday for the lord to change you and you' ll see with each passing day your life change before your very eyes it going to take time and maybe not but each day the urges of you wanting to cut yourself with begin to disappear. Get on your knees and your will never be the same

I no how you fell all you have to do is keep your mind off it. Try hanging out with friends more or even getting into sports you just need to stay busy that's what helped my sis.

I had the same problem, and I went to a therapist for it. One really useful suggestion she gave me was that whenever I felt like cutting to press ice onto my wrist instead. It hurts, but its not as harmful. From that, go to just scraping your wrist lightly with your fingerful and keep on getting less and less painful until you eventually stop. Also, make a sort of 'emergency kit' that includes an iPod, chocolate, running shoes, books/magazines, a journal... etc... things that you can do instead of cutting. Going jogging really helps me, as does writing in a journal.

Hope this helps!
Ox

Thanks for every thing, I've stopped and I have no more urges, seriously! I'm happy and I'm loving life the only bummer that's happened lately is that I got a C in english but it's now at a B so YAY!

Congrats Pheeb!! That is really great news.

Now, the B is GREAT, but don't forget that a C is not bad either. Remember that C means Continue!

Keep it up girl!!

Congrats Pheeb!!!!!!! That is really great news.

Now, the B is GREAT, but don't forget that a C is not bad either. Remember that C means Continue!!

Keep it up girl!!!

I am curious now... what does D mean in the J_9 dictionary?

J_9,

I honestly don't think asking her why she cuts is going to do any good because I don't think they know. But I suspect she is fed up moving from house to house and would rather stay put. I was in a position like that, and I ended up feeling like a nomad. Kids need stability and she can't be getting that with all the moving around. Just my thoughts.

Rose, it is just a way to get her to open up and begin talking. No, they don't know why, and I understand that, but you have to open the lines of communication. This is how a lot of psychology works and I am sure you know that. But I can't condemn her, nor can I applaud her for her actions, I can only make her begin to think. This is called open-ended questions. It opens for an answer that is neither a yes or a no.

Let's see here and I am NOT quoting this thread...

Psychologist: Why did you cut today?
Client: I had a bad day, I got a speeding ticket?
Psychologist: Well, what could you have done instead of cutting?

See, how that works. That is why I was asking


Wizz, D stands for Darn Good Try!!

Wizz, D stands for Darn Good Try!!

Although I haven't got a D, it's good to know I have something to fall back on...

Pheebs,

Congrats on not cutting yourself! I am sure you feel great. Are your friends getting any better? Have you thought more on talking to a school counselor? These urges may come back.. so I hope that if they do you feel like you could go to somebody.

One thing I remember about being your age was the awkwardness.. not knowing where to fit in.. with friends and what not. Plus you have the stress at home. At your age most teens are trying to figure out who they are in this world... they are trying to figure out who they are... etc Just keep your head up. You seem like a great person and I hate to hear that your not happy.
Tamikiwhoever.. umm possessed? I am not going to go into that conversation here... but no Pheeb your not possessed... Hrrmph

Msicmaker said it best here.. she really can relate with you and it was great to hear that she came through it fine. I hope you take her advice to heart.

Take Care!

You HAVE to tell someone.believe me,I would know.I used to self harm,but then my mum found out and made me see someone.I thought exactly what you thought at first- I didn't want to see anyone,I thought id feel very uncomfortable.and I know its hard to control,but you MUST stop or at least try to get help.I was self harming for quite a while before someone found out-and I am so glad they did because I never self harmed again.
If you get help,believe me,it will be the best thing you will ever do.it could save your life.
Please get help.

See a doctor you can have a mental disorder that makes your mind want to hurt your body I think I have it and one of my friends exboyfriends has it if it gets really bad you should see a doctor so you don't do too much danmage

Its because you have heard about this from other people doing it. You are not getting what you are ultimately seeking... i.e. attention from parents or friends, being ignored at school? It is a way of showing yourself how much you hate yourself and proving it to the world... and therefore trying desperatly to get some attention. If there are underlying problems with your parents, you need to tell them to let it off your chest, even scream at them, you will feel lighter and more happy. If you can't speak to your parents, go to your school councillor.

I know, believe me, where you are coming from.

Say in front of the mirror 'im beautiful' over and over again until you stop thinking it is bull and you start to believe it, this will reprogram your negative thought patterns.

People care for you I'm sure. Please try the mirror exercise. I know you will absolutely hate doing it, but keep at it.