View Full Version : I love the guy, but I don't want to be with him.
brinny014
Apr 26, 2009, 09:16 AM
I met this guy, he's seventeen. I'm fifteen. I know I'm young, but I know I love him..
I've been with him for two years off and on. Right now were not together. I know I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life for some reason, I don't understand why I love him so much, but yet I don't want to be with him right now.. any suggestions, or help would be very nice.:confused:
shannameiling
Apr 26, 2009, 10:33 AM
Hmmm I have a friend that's in the same position that you're in but they are a little bit older now... they were your age when they started their love and they are both now over 23 yrs and still in the same position and going strong.
First things first... does he love you back?
You 2 are young and there is no rush to be with one another... if it is that the 2 of you are in love and are sure that you're going to be together in the end but you don't want to be together right now... all I can suggest is that you 2 just remain friends, keep whatever close relationship that you have while the 2 of you continue living your lives as you please. Not to sound too cliché but what's for you is for you and will not pass you. So you do you and he can do him and when the time is right and the 2 of you are ready to be together... then be together... no one is rushing you 2 to be together and even if you both have someone else at the time... in the end you are his and he is yours.
Hope this helps
brinny014
Apr 26, 2009, 10:38 AM
Yeah, thank you. That helps a lot. And yes he does love me back, he doesn't want to be with anyone other than me. And he hasn't yet.. but I have.
shannameiling
Apr 26, 2009, 10:53 AM
That's OK too... you are young and you need to live your life... the fact that you know that you want to be with him in the end... it's OK that you are testing the waters... seeing what else is out there... that way when you both are ready for one another... there will be no doubts... you won't have to wonder what else is out there... how it would feel to be with other people, etc.
I wish
Apr 26, 2009, 11:10 AM
yeah, thank you. that helps alot. and yes he does love me back, he doesnt want to be with anyone other than me. and he hasnt yet.. but i have.
I don't get it. If both of you are so deeply in love, what's the problem?
If you say that you don't to be with him right now, it's probably because you don't love him as much as you think you do. If you think you'll be with him the rest of your life... it means that he's a safe guy. You still want to experience other things right? You want to put him on hold and be with her later while you go out and have fun with other people?
Both of you are still really young. Maybe your feelings are true for one another right now, but both of you will change as people and your feelings might change too. Just keep that in mind.
If you have feelings for another guy, you shouldn't be with your boyfriend. It's not fair to him.
mudweiser
Apr 26, 2009, 02:10 PM
The odds of you guys being together for the rest of your life are very, very slim.
At 15 love is very different than if you were to be 28. At 15 your brain hasn't even developed to it's final stage- it's true. So if it hasn't finished developing that means you think differently. Right now it feels like love to you. You are so emotionally locked with this guy, it feels endless. To you it's love but for us adults, we know it's not love- it's really your hormones and just part of growing up.
If you love someone, you do want to be with them- the fact that you love him but don't want to be with him is a sign that it's not "real" love.
Well I don't mean to rub you the wrong way kid, but that feeling that makes you think "hmm I don't want to be with him" is a tiny alarm going off inside telling you "back up!".
Your jumping forward by a lot. Your not even halfway through high school and your thinking about being with him for the rest of your life.
Slow down. Going too fast will just do you no good.
.. well that's just my opinion.
Sarah
liz28
Apr 26, 2009, 02:48 PM
I would love to know how do you think your going be with him for the rest of life when the two of you keeping breaking up then making up?
On and off again relationships are no good. You should read some of threads on here from people that been doing the on and off thing for 10+.
It is not that uncommon for someone your age to be in this mind set but know nothing is never guarantee + people change. I am sure you know this because of the relationship you had with this guy.
Today you and this guy are together but you never know what could happen next week let alone tomorrow.
brinny014
May 7, 2009, 09:15 AM
Threads merged
I have been friends with this guy for almost two years now. Were bestfriends, we tell each other everything. He currently is dating my friend though. And I'm dating his.. its weird cause when we allll hang out together, all that talks is me and him. I'm not sure if he likes me like that back.. but I think he does. I want to send him sweet text messages, any ideas? :o
kctiger
May 7, 2009, 09:17 AM
He is dating someone else... so my idea (and you are dating someone else, I might add), is to focus on your own relationships. If someone is taken they are off limits, period. Perhaps in the future you can try, but for now, don't. Dump the dude you are dating too, as this isn't fair to him.
spitvenom
May 7, 2009, 09:19 AM
Well first thing everyone is going to say is back off because you are dating someone and so is he. Which is great advice. But if you decide not to listen to that advice are you ready to lose your friend your boyfriend and possible him if he doesn't like you that way?
brinny014
May 7, 2009, 09:38 AM
Threads merged again, just to keep the whole story straight
I want to send my boyfriend cuute sweet text messages, any ideas? :)
talaniman
May 7, 2009, 10:08 AM
You don't want to be with your boyfriend, because you have feelings for your best guy friend, so instead of resolving that, you must have decided to stay with the boyfriend, and send him some sweet text messages?
Do I have that right?