My boyfriend keeps splitting up with me?

I have been with my boyfriend nearly fours years, only the past year and half it has been unstready, on Friday 13th he split with me, it killed me because it came out of the blue, and not long before he did, he even said how well we had been getting on, but his for for splitting was because we kept falling out, because he never wants to talk through or problems to sort them to make thing better because I truly love this guy. But now today he has split with me again, now its because he says he no longer wants to be in a relationship, I think what brought this on is that I said I feel unloved and unwanted an that it may not be working out, I didn't mean for us to split, he just lately doesn't seem interested in me, but this has really shocked me because yesterday he was OK and a few weeks back was saying for us to book our holiday for next year? But only yesterday he lost his job which he never told me about which really shocked me, he rang his mate straight away but never mentioned anything to me, if I knew he was under so much stress I would have been there for him, but like I said he never speaks to me about anything? Help!

Can anyone shed any light on to why he is being like this, an is it all my fault? Will he ever want to get back with me or does he just need some space again?

PLease help!

x.x.x

On and off relationships are just too painful. You have no idea when's the next time you will be off again.

It's sad living in fear of when the next "off" will be.

Do yourself a favor and stop this relationship once and for all.

You don't need this kind of drama or inconsistancy. I think you would be better off without someone like this; leaving you, then coming back, then leaving again. Believe me, I've been there, and it is a horrible thing to go through, and you don't deserve it.

My boyfriend keeps splitting up with me?

I have been with my boyfriend nearly fours years, only the past year and half it has been unstready, on Friday 13th he split with me, it killed me because it came out of the blue, and not long before he did, he even said how well we had been getting on, but his for for splitting was because we kept falling out, because he never wants to talk through or problems to sort them to make thing better because i truley love this guy. But now today he has split with me again, now its because he says he no longer wants to be in a relationship, i think what brought this on is that i said i feel unloved and unwanted an that it may not be working out, i didnt mean for us to split, he just lately doesnt seem interested in me, but this has really shocked me because yesterday he was ok and a few weeks back was saying for us to book our holiday for next year? But only yesterday he lost his job which he never told me about which really shocked me, he rang his mate straight away but never mentioned anything to me, if i knew he was under so much stress i would of been there for him, but like i said he never speaks to me about anything? Help!

Can anyone shed any light on to why he is being like this, an is it all my fault? Will he ever want to get back with me or does he just need some space again?

PLease help!

x.x.x


He seems to need space, I'd advise moving your life in a different direction, as this one seems to be a dead end road. He can't handle being in a relationship as he is putting extra stress on himself to fulfil your needs then you say that you feel he isn't. You may be wise to simply not get back together with him. Get on with your own life, It will be hard, but the thing about love is, it's endless. You'll meet other great guys, so long as you stay true to yourself.

If you keep this break up/ make up relationship, no one will get better, and you will both run the risk of resenting or hating one another.

Sorry due, but unless you want a sketchy relationship, he needs to be left by himslef. He has Mates as you said, and I'm sure he has family. No contact for like at least a year seems a good idea at this point. Get to know yourself again, you never know you may surprise yourself.;)

Peace and kindness be with you.

You said it best when you wrote " he won't communicate with me", without out communication you have nothing. Lack of communication is a quick way to drown a relationship regardless how long the two of you were together.

He might have been stressed maybe even a little depression and this could have made him distant towards you. However this is no excuse. Some people run away from their problems or don't know how to talk to their partner but this is a bad quality to have.

However, on and off again relationship are unhealty and will only leave your emotions soaring. You already knows how he is and what was lacking but he didn't change it so how can you really expect to be with him?

Please read my signature... twice!

My boyfriend split with me Friday, he claims because he does not want to be in a relationship anymore, so OK it hurt but it this has happened a few times in the past.

On the same day he split with me I decided to go out clubbing with my cousin (whos male) some of his mates an my best mate (a girl) I was'nt looking to pull or anything just to have some fun and not think about him.
While I was out his mates were in the same club an must of saw me with my cousin and his mates an texted my ex, at half 12 I had a message of him saying "why do i get the feeling your with a next boy" I told him I was'nt, he then replyed "Who are you out with" and I told him.

:confused:I'm just confused as to why he's asking when he's the one who doesn't want to be with me?
Would it matter if I was with someone else? And its nothing to do with him, and why was he asking who I was with? To me when I read the messages it felt like I was with even though that's sounds mad

But does anybody understand why he messaged me tho's, because I do want him but I don't want to get my hopes up, I just don't no whether to move on, or hang about for him?

:confused:

Help!

x.x.x

When he dumped you he felt like he was in control and to find out hours later it didn't bother you (or at least he thought) and with another guy it peeked his curiosity which lead to the text messages.

At this point he's moved on, and so should you. Continue doing what your doing, and if he texts you again either ignore it or reply that you don't answer to him and tell him to stay out of your business.

You say at this point he's moved on, but has he really if he wants to no who I'm with? Like I'm still with him?

Also when he split with me an I tried to phone, he said "I dont want to talk at the moment!"

Does that mean he will want to talk to me at some point, and if so should I just wait for him to contact me?

He is testing what is the impact of his disappearance from your life but since you already parted ways, whatever he does should not matter anymore. You are starting to pick up the pieces of your life gracefully, keep it up.

He had second thoughts after he found you out partying with another guy, instead of begging him to come back.

That doesn't mean he cares, which he might, but he does need to stew in his own juice, and you need to stay cool, and not be confused by his texts or calls.

I see someone that may be trying to manipulate your feelings, by playing games.

He doesn't like the fact that you were out having a good time, he was probably hoping that you would be at home having a pity party for yourself! He didn't like the fact that you were out with other guys obviously, or he wouldn't have taken the time to ask you who you were with. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that there is a chance he want's to get back together, it's just the way that couples who have just broken up react when they see or hear about their ex with other people. He doesn't want to be with you but doesn't like the thought of you being with anyone else either.
CHUFF is right you should move on ;)

I agree with the others. He is not wanting to be with you but he doesn't want you to be out having a good time either.
Move on and don't worry about what he thinks or wants.

Yah, he's just jealous doesn't mean he wants you back and yes you should move on. Forget about him and don't contact him, it will always bring you hurt. He is doing it to save him some face. Doesn't want you to be a guy right after him and he looks bad to his friends. He is also being possesive, you and him aren't together anymore so why does it matter to him? Move on and be happy and make your own life without him.

Yet another thread merged, after asking the same question

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, because he no longer wants to be in a relationship anymore as we were together nearly 4 years.

What I don't understand is how can he love me but no longer wants me?
I no I love him more than anything an he know this, as he has broke up with me many times before but I always go running after him, which won't happen this time.

The last time he split with me (just over a month ago) we had NC for 5 days but I could'nt help myself I rang him an said I missed him that's when he said he'll come mine or I could go his, this time it feels for real now and I am determined not to contact him.

I just feel bad as its my fault he no longer wants to be in a relationship, but I'm holding out for the fact he will contact me saying he does want me but I know he stubborn and that would take a lot for him to do because he is a very closed person an doesn't really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings


x.x.x.x

Just focus on the last part because that's where future lies. The spark is gone, he's no longer happy and wants to be out.

Because he is a very closed person an doesn't really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings



You guessing at what he feels, and need to deal with how you feel.

Yet another thread merged, after asking the same question

The answer's aren't going to different somewhere else.


What i dont understand is how can he love me but no longer wants me?

How do you know he loves you?


I no i love him more than anything an he know this, as he has broke up with me many times before but i always go running after him,

Is this really love? I won't lie, I've done the same thing and when you head is cloudly with emotions it feels like love, but after the emotions die off and you look at it with a clear head I think it's more the actions of someone in panic and shock.

I'm not going to dispute that you love him, or that some relationships have a moment of heighted problems where you say something stupid or break up. But over and over, so that he can get his jollys off watching you come crawling back? That's not love, that's a weird form of abuse, and I'll even give him credit maybe he doesn't realize it's abuse but as he matures he'll learn that it is. Hopefully you can be mature enough to recognize it now.


which wont happen this time.

That a girl, strong words let's hold to it.


The last time he split with me (just over a month ago) we had NC for 5 days but i could'nt help myself i rang him an said i missed him thats when he said he'll come mine or i could go his, this time it feels for real now and i am determined not to contact him.

Well this time, it was him and it was hours later so guess what. Right now you are in the driver's seat. Stay there.


I just feel bad as its my fault he no longer wants to be in a relationship, but i'm holding out for the fact he will contact me saying he does want me but i know he stubborn and that would take a lot for him to do because he is a very closed person an does'nt really tell/talk about how he feels and his feelings


x.x.x.x

Not sure how this is your fault, unless you were cheating or doing something else you haven't told us.

Just out of curiosity, why are you holding out hope that he'll want to be in a relationship? Because these same steps of

1. Break up
2. Get back together
3. Repeat

Are going to continue happening.

Before he split with me I told how he was making me feel, unloved and unwanted, all he replyed was sorry

So me thinking it was my fault is because maybe if I never said anything this would not have happened an we would still be together...

Before he split with me i told how he was making me feel, unloved and unwanted, all he replyed was sorry

So me thinking it was my fault is because maybe if i never said anything this would not have happened an we would still be together...

Does that matter? What you could, should, would have done, can not be done now. No matter how much you think about it, or try to do it, you can not go back. Try to let him go, and focus on your life by yourself. You need to forgive yourself too, or the pain will be too much. You did, what you thought was best at the time you did it, now it's time to move on.

Find yourself, and reconnect with your soul, for that is who you truly are. Decide what you want, and don't forget it. "Embrace your dreams"-Angeal

Not sure how this is your fault, unless you were cheating or doing something else you haven't told us.

Just out of curiosity, why are you holding out hope that he'll want to be in a relationship? Because these same steps of

1. Break up
2. Get back together
3. Repeat

are going to continue happening.

That is the message you send, by feeling guilty, and going back! Your way to dependent on this guy, like a junkie that needs their dope no matter what they have to do to get it.

Yes he does know that your hooked on him.

I'm sooooo peeed off!! My boyfriend split with me 6 days ago saying that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. Which I just couldn't believe, but any how I carried as best as I could.

Today I found out that on Sunday he went all up to manchester (which takes a good few hours) for a drink!? His mates girlfriend claimed, I don't think so!!
I know for a fact he went to meet some girl, as last time we split he was massaging an calling some girl called emma from there.

It just hurts soooo much knowing that I mean nothing to him and that he's meeting this girl so soon after we broke up.

I was doing fine with the NC before I found this news out, an it just hurts so much, I thought that in time he might would want to get back together but this has just gone to show he never really loved me at all, and that he was still in contact with the girl even when we got back together, I just feel like I've been lied to an cheated on the through the whole of the relationship.

Thinking back now it all makes sense. On his birthday he went to manchester with his mates, and I know one of them cheated on there girlfriend because he slept with my old mate, she was even on his myspace and Facebook, and her number still in his phone even when he told me he had deleted it. I feel so stupid and that I wasted 4 years with him, thinking I would be with this guy for the rest of my life.

It hurts knowing he's moved on so fast, so well with out me. I was doing so well getting over him, now that news has thrown me back, takeing me back to square one :(

Hey sweety,

I know it hurts badly but is he worth your tears.. he has moved on with his life. You mentioned that he is seeing (mite be seeing) another girl,, then why waste your feelings on him? I know its very hard, but get on with life. There are many fishes in the ocean,, better ones,,

Judging by your words, I feel you are very young... look sweety,, life is long,, wait for the right one,, heartbreaks will come and go, but once you find your Mr.Right, everything will be like sailing on cloud 9... until then, be strong,, don't let some guy hurt you,,

I have been told that God has to balance everything in life,, if God has given you tears,, he has something better in store for you,, you just have to wait for it,,

It is natural, but it is life. The good news is that it has hit rock bottom, and the rebuilding can truly start. You had some sort of false hope all along that he would come back to you, and you can NEVER rebuild and truly move on without first letting go of any hope of reconciliation. It is over, for good. Now you have your closure, now you have only YOURSELF to worry about. Good luck!

I was completely surprised when I received the text, but also a little happy?

He said that I have left a top at his and asking me how I am, and that he's always here for me? Also because I have been going to the gym he said he would buy me a dress when I lost some weight, but that was when we were together and he said that he still owes me one?

Is this my ex trying to come back into my life? Or just being nice because he wants to be friends?

We had NC for a week now this? An he was the first to contact me.

My answers were straight forward and to the point and saying I don't want to act as mates because we're not. He replyed saying that he because he lost his job and everything he didn't know were his head was at, but I just don't know what to do, I feel really confused and back to were I started when I was doing brilliant.

I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do?

Please help

x.x.x

My ex did the same thing. She said that she didn't want to leave off on a bad note. Maybe that's what your ex wants as well. I recently came to the conclusion that I don't want my ex back anymore and I choose to see her text as just a friendly thing and with no intention of rekindling the relationship. After the text I went back to no contact. Things have been going great so far. You said you were a little happy though, are you wanting to get back with him?

I really care for him, he meant a lot to me as we were together 4 years, but I just don't know what I want anymore

I was just happy that he had got in contact with me because it was no that he was thinking about, and had been thinking about us.

But I don't know if I do want him back though?

He didn't say he wanted to get back with you. I think he is getting back in contact with you because he is conflicted due to him losing his job. He might have gotten back in touch with you because he needed a shoulder so he wanted you to be that shoulder. When your bored your mind wonders.

I don't want his texting you to give you false hope and to be honest I wouldn't read too much into his text nor pay him any mind.

He could be feeling low right now but what will happen when this feeling leave him.

I say continue doing what your was doing before he got in contact with you.

Maybe you should go back to no contact until you figure out what you really want. He'll still have memories of your relationship and sometimes he may feel inclined to contact you, as he probably isn't completely over it yet. Take some time for yourself and figure out what's best for you though.

Sounds like he's going through a rough patch and he's confiding in you. You've only broken up for a week. A week ago, the person he probably confided in the most was you for the last 4 years. So you can't completely change your habits so quickly.

It doesn't necessary mean that he wants to get back together. I still really care about my ex and have no problem helping her out, but I wouldn't want to get back with her.

What matters is how do you feel about him? Do you want to get back together? Do you want to stay friends? Do you feel like you've moved on?

I think we need more details about how you feel about him and what type of relationship/friendship you want with him.

Since it's only been a week, it's tough to answer these questions. But if you don't want to get back with him and you haven't gotten over the break up yet, it's better if you continue the no contact until you heal.

I would like to get back with him, an it sounded like he wanted to get with me.

Then we spoke on the phone, and now its like ita taken him back to us being friends, when a minute ago we were saying that we had something special?

If you want to get back with him, then why did you break up in the first place?

He said he no longer wanted to in a relationship.

But he's now said that he didn't no were his head was at, at the time with him just losing his job and stuff?

He said he no longer wanted to in a relationship.

But hes now said that he didnt no were his head was at, at the time with him just losing his job and stuff?

I Got laid off a week prior to my girl dumping me. I can say that I was pretty depressed about it. I knew it was going to happen for like a month and I wasn't in a very good mood. It does effect a person.

i wud like to get back with him, an it sounded like he wanted to get with me.

Then we spoke on the phone, and now its like ita taken him back to us being friends, when a minute ago we was saying that we had somthing special??

Instead of trying to guess what his intentions are why don't you ask him "what do you mean".

However, I still think you should go back to your NC. You don't need this confusion in your life and this is all he is added to your life right now "confusion".

Ive been split with my ex for about 1 month, we were together for over years, he says we drifted apart an always falling out over silly things with which I agree, however I loved him so sos much I really wanted to giv it one last go but he never wanted to. We tried a little to be mates but I always wanted more. I was with him since we were 18 and now coming 23.
Today we had the biggest fall out ever, I lied and said some untruthful hurtful things which he now knows was all llies, he came to my house shouting calling me every name under the sun, until my dad had to come to the door and call him in to sort this out.
He wanted the things he got my back so I said OK I'll bring them later, I was so upset an angry with everyfin he had been saying I cut up the 2 designer bags he got me and all the jewellery. A little while later he phoned saying why we like this asking to meet me to talk properly, but its all to late, when were were together or when I wanted to be with him he never wanted to talk then when it really mattered he hurt me so much I told him I don't want to know.
I went an took his things round hopeing he wouldn't be in he was so I went out his house, his mom seemed off with me an tried to close the door with me in, I went out the house and could hear him calling, he then came and chased me an grabbed the bag off me with the cut up items I looked back an could see him looking I was soooo scared I walked fast and rang my friend who was on her way to pick me up, then phonned my mom which he soon ran up to me going mad so I told her to come pick me up to, then he snatech the phone out my hand, telling me to say sorry an walked off with it back to his telling me to go to his which I was to scared to I waited for my mom told her then went to his his mom was going mad I saw I complete different side to her, nasty and mean he was being just as nasty an hurtful everyone trying to make me look like the bad one my mom callled the police about my phone being taken then after some arguing an sillyness he threw it outside and said go get like the dog u are lol so I did and went to the car, my mom still at the door broke down started crying an his mom rubbing her back, I just wonder if we would ever get over this when we are older because as silly as it sounds I do love him, and wish it never had to be like this, because he said he loves me and wants to be with me but we fall out over sillyness I just say because we are both young, an both our first serious relationships, I really don't know what to think and if I'll ever get over him because I would have done anything for him, and he's wrecked my life takeing away my work experience at uni, telling his mates girlfriends sillyness so they all hate me and I just don't know were we, I will go from here?
sorry guys for it being long I'm at rock bottom right now x x

This sounds unhealthy. You need to cut all ties, and start no contact IMMEDIATELY. In time you'll get over him, and find someone that is worth your time.

I agree. You need to move on without him.

It won't be easy, but DO NOT get in touch with him again.

Give yourself some time to get to know yourself and let the pain from this relationship dull.

Please keep all your questions regarding the same issue in the same thread. I had to merge your threads so that we can follow your story.

This has been a particularly LONG on and off relationship.

You broke up for a reason every time. If you can't fix the problems that broke you up in the first place (in this case, mutiple times), then you're just going to end up breaking up again and again.

Fate is telling you something. You don't belong together. Don't force something that isn't meant to be.