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View Full Version : I want to set my husband up so that I can force a separation


mrspotts
Apr 21, 2009, 02:23 PM
My marriage has become stale. I no longer love my husband. He is not the man I married. I want to set him up with another woman in order that I can get photographic proof that he is being unfaithful as a means of forcing him from our marital home. How do I go about setting him up with another woman & getting photographic proof of his illicit encounter.

BRycraft
Apr 21, 2009, 02:29 PM
So you want to entrap him?
That doesn't say much about your character does it?
Bill

Wonder-er
Apr 21, 2009, 02:29 PM
Your not a very good person if u plan on doing what u say. Just be up front and honest with him! You must have a good reason to want to set him up like that. Not very nice!:mad:

Krazi
Apr 21, 2009, 02:38 PM
Your character only tells us that you are heartless and the "stale" feeling in your marriage is probably coming from you.

If you want a divorce all you need to do is take it to a judge... no court will allow a man or woman to be stuck in a dead end marriage.

Justwantfair
Apr 21, 2009, 02:45 PM
My marriage has become stale. I no longer love my husband. He is not the man I married. I want to set him up with another woman in order that I can get photographic proof that he is being unfaithful as a means of forcing him from our marital home. How do I go about setting him up with another woman & getting photographic proof of his illicit encounter.

This is about the most idiotic post about the most idiotic idea I have heard in awhile. You wish to set your husband up with a mistress, so then you can take photos and you think that will give you the rights to the marital household.

First legally a lot of this even depends on your state as photographs may not be admissible and if you are an "irreconcilable differences" state then catching him cheating wouldn't do you any good?

I think you should discuss this idea with your husband and then he can want the divorce, maybe he will even kick you out. I can't even imagine if there are children involved, but I hope this isn't the way you would like to raise them. Setting their father up to commit adultery.

Do you even have reason to believe that he would be unfaithful to you even if you pushed him to be?

this8384
Apr 21, 2009, 02:46 PM
In addition to what the others have said, this could come back and royally bite you in the @$$. You do realize that the other woman you hire could come to court, testifying what you tried to do just to get what you wanted?

Oh, and you don't get to just "force him" from your marital home if he has an affair. I don't know what planet you're on but that's not how it works.

Silverfoxkit
Apr 21, 2009, 02:55 PM
There's a much easier way to go about things. Try saying "I want a divorce." Plain and simple. You don't have to demean both you in order to separate. I wouldn't be surprised if your husband readily agreed to be freed from someone of your character. In fact, I'd be shocked if he didn't.

artlady
Apr 21, 2009, 03:06 PM
I think its funny that you would come here on an open web site ,for all the world to see and make a post about committing a crime.It is called entrapment and possibly perjury if you were to testify in court.

You used your name and you have a ISP address.
For someone who is planning such a cunning operation of deceit,your not too bright.

lighterrr
Apr 21, 2009, 03:13 PM
My marriage has become stale. I no longer love my husband. He is not the man I married. I want to set him up with another woman in order that I can get photographic proof that he is being unfaithful as a means of forcing him from our marital home. How do I go about setting him up with another woman & getting photographic proof of his illicit encounter.

Woman are you serious? I cannot believe this nonesense you are incredibly wicked! How could you be so mean and heartless. You don't love the man then leave! I wish I knew your husband and friends so I can tell them all about this moronic plan of yours that lacks every aspect of common sense.

You are A complete LOSER.

CAN A MOD TAKE DOWN THIS INCREDIBLY STUPID POST.

ScottGem
Apr 21, 2009, 03:25 PM
And where have you been living for the last 30+ years? The days where you have to prove adultery to get a divorce are long gone. Getting a divorce is fairly easy these days. There is no reason to go to the illegal effort to entrap your husband to get a divorce.

artlady
Apr 21, 2009, 03:31 PM
And where have you been living for the last 30+ years? The days where you have to prove adultery to get a divorce are long gone. Getting a divorce is fairly easy these days. There is no reason to go to the illegal effort to entrap your husband to get a divorce.

I think the key here is to somehow get him out of* the marital home*.Perhaps there was a pre nup.

liz28
Apr 21, 2009, 03:57 PM
You don't have to be a rocke scientist to figure out "How do I go about setting him up with another woman & getting photographic proof of his illicit encounter?

I have heard of females doing this but the results isn't want they hope for.

If you want out then leave. Couples get divorce everyday and your be doing him and yourself a favor by doing this.

I wonder if there is a prenuptial agreement involve and this is why what to go through these extreme extents to get a divorce. You don't want him but you wouldn't mind taking his money. Nothing suprises me anymore. I done heard and seen it all.

Fuzzball_Kara
Apr 21, 2009, 04:21 PM
I hope you decided how "to go about it" from these responses and don't do it. You're talking about him being a bad husband but you're not doing yourself any justice. This is cruel to anybody and I don't care what kind of relationship you are in... Just divorce him and get it over with like a real woman.

liz28
Apr 21, 2009, 04:24 PM
Did anyone notice that she wants to get a separation not a divorce to get him out of the home they share? That makes her plan even more extreme.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 21, 2009, 05:17 PM
Let me see you set him up and he gets free sex with someone. And guess what the courts will not care, it may help some in a child custody case but maybe not.

As for the divorce, he could be doing it online for money and I doubt it would help you get anything in a settlement.

So why not, give him a fun time at your expense, sounds like he needs it after being married to you

nitelight198073
Apr 21, 2009, 05:22 PM
You are a low down dirty person do it like a human and just tell him... my head is about to explde another you know what giving women a bad name

swany65
Apr 21, 2009, 06:17 PM
Drama!

twinkiedooter
Apr 21, 2009, 06:25 PM
May I suggest you go see a divorce attorney and start proceedings against hubby legally? The days of catching someone in the act are long over. You've been watching too much television that's for sure if you think that is the only solution to your problem.

How long have you been married anyway? You almost sound like someone who has purchased a new car and then when the ashtray fills up with cigarette butts you just have to get a new car.

Even if you did somehow "force" him out of the marital home, that is no guarantee that you will be able to keep it after the divorce. If you have kids, then maybe. If you have no kids, then I seriously doubt you will be able to keep it unless you have a lot of your own personal equity in the property. The most likely scenerio would be that it would be sold and the profits divided accordingly.

As I said earlier, you need to explore your options with a good divorce attorney as he knows the laws in whatever state you live in and can advise you legally what you can and cannot do and what you can and cannot ask for and get awarded to you by a Judge.

taoplr
Apr 21, 2009, 06:41 PM
This will smack you in the back of the head. The chances of the courts finding out what you have done is huge, no matter how you do it. More than that, what does this say about you as a human being?

Why not talk with him and tell him you want a divorce? Why not be honest?

lighterrr
Apr 21, 2009, 07:11 PM
Yes. Honesty assuming that word still exist in your vocabulary. I believe your ulterior motives deserve such a harsh statement.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 21, 2009, 07:28 PM
Ok, guess we all, including me have had our turn at insulting this person, not that they perhaps deserved it,

But closed before we go too far

Fr_Chuck
Apr 22, 2009, 05:35 PM
Re opened, will keep under review

JoeCanada76
Apr 22, 2009, 06:05 PM
I wanted to share my thoughts and go all out on this women, but I do not want this thread to be closed.

If you want to get out of a marriage.. If things are stale.. My guess is you're the one having an affair outside of the marriage and that is why you want to leave, but you do not want to take the blame of it going sour so you will entrap him to make yourself look like an angel, maybe the angel of the devil.

It is obvious you do not want to work on your marriage, your taking the cowards way out. Either work on it or get out. Very simple. There should be steps to take to save a marriage but your husband is better knowing that you want out right now.

Make a clean break.. It is very easy to do without breaking the law.

Best of luck with you and your future affairs...

Joe

JudyKayTee
Apr 22, 2009, 06:29 PM
I am not making a personal judgment in any way. What OP has asked is not an unusual request. Women very often hire someone to approach a husband in a bar, act in a provocative fashion, see how he will respond. Nothing the least bit unusual about this request. The problem is that while the wife may very well find out how the husband behaves when she's not around it does not rise to grounds for divorce. If the woman who has been hired actually performs a sexual act with the man (in order to obtain proof of adultery) it is prostitution. Photographs of the couple "in the act" is the stuff of which TV shows are made, not real life.

Aside from the bargaining chip in the event the husband doesn't want the wife (or the other way around) to tell everything to everyone, adultery means little legally. Judges no longer want to hear it and many States award child support and spousal support on Statute, not on grounds.

So - while this scenario is partially a TV plot, this is not an unusual request. Not at all.

JoeCanada76
Apr 22, 2009, 06:33 PM
I am not making a personal judgment in any way. What OP has asked is not an unusual request. Women very often hire someone to approach a husband in a bar, act in a provocative fashion, see how he will respond. Nothing the least bit unusual about this request. The problem is that while the wife may very well find out how the husband behaves when she's not around it does not rise to grounds for divorce. If the woman who has been hired actually performs a sexual act with the man (in order to obtain proof of adultery) it is prostitution. Photographs of the couple "in the act" is the stuff of which TV shows are made, not real life.

Aside from the bargaining chip in the event the husband doesn't want the wife (or the other way around) to tell everything to everyone, adultery means little legally. Judges no longer want to hear it and many States award child support and spousal support on Statute, not on grounds.

So - while this scenario is partially a TV plot, this is not an unusual request. Not at all.

There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage.

JudyKayTee
Apr 22, 2009, 06:37 PM
[QUOTE=Comments on this post: lighterrr disagrees: woww. I can't count the ways I disagree with this statement and the opQUOTE]



Please list the ways you disagree with my statement. You gave me the reddie, not the OP, so let's address your questions concerning what I posted.

You obviously disagree with people ask investigators to do because that's all I posted - the "ins" and "outs" of these investigations. I said loud and clear that I am not making a judgment concerning the request, only addressing that it is not an unusual request.

I'm an investigator. That's what I do - liability of all sorts, surveillances of all sorts. That's my background, that's my expertise and training. What I posted is my experience. This is how I make a living. This isn't my hobby and this isn't something I've watched on TV.

You don't agree with my experience, apparently. Please post yours and explain how it is different from mine.

I notice you also agree that: "There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage."

Too bad that isn't what the OP asked and what I answered.

JudyKayTee
Apr 22, 2009, 06:43 PM
There are people who hire investigators to investigate whether there spouse is cheating, but not purposely setting them up to get out of a marriage.


You do know I am an investigator, right? I am well aware that people hire investigators to prove that their spouse is cheating. I am one of the people who gets hired for that purpose.

That's not what I was talking about.

I was talking about setting someone up, which is what the OP asked about. This is not an unusual request.

I stated right in the beginning that I was not making a moral judgment concerning the OP and her intentions - I answered this as someone who actually does investigations as a career.

Alty
Apr 22, 2009, 06:51 PM
Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

I think you both misunderstood.

lighterrr
Apr 22, 2009, 07:12 PM
Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

I think you both misunderstood.

Ohhh OK. Light bulb moment;) I get it now. Didn't mean to offend anyone. Thanks for clarifying alt:D

JudyKayTee
Apr 23, 2009, 05:34 AM
Joe and Lighter. I think what Judy is trying to say is that the OP's idea isn't unusual. She's not saying she agrees that the OP should do it.

I think you both misunderstood.


Out of greenies - but thanks for stepping in to explain what I posted.

Hopefully the disagreement with my experience will be explained.