Well I am new at this.. But I don't know who to turn to! I feel like if I turn to friends and family of course they will just agree to eveything I say and be on myside. But I need to wake up and realize the reality of life.

I know my fiancé for about 6 years now. We weren't close friends or anything just the tipical "Hi" and "Bye" friends. Well until one night we were at a party and we started hooking up. Since that day we've been together. Its been about 2 years now. No break ups in between or nothing. In the beginning of our relationship it was like a dream come true. We were always together. He would do anything I wanted. I felt like a true princess. About 5 months in the realationship we moved in together. Then of course I got pregnant but unfortunately I didn't have the child. (Which I regret until this day!) But life moved on. He has a problem of showing effection. I seem to find myself saying I love you every 5 min of the day. But all I get is me too or sometimes nothing at all. Sometimes I feel like that I am not loved anymore. I feel like we are just together just to be. I feel that if I leave it won't make a difference to him. We do fight a lot but our fights don't last long. I always apoligize to him even if I am not worng just so we can be better again. But now I am getting tired of always running after him, I am tired of lways being worng. I want him to apreciate me more. To make me feel that he needs me. I don't know if I am worng for wanting that. Do I want too much? He never left me home to party. I never suspected any other girls in the picture. If there is he is doing a really good job in hiding it. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should leave to see if he could realize that he needs me. But I am afraid to let go and he will never come back. But I sure do love him with all my heart and I can't picture me with out him. To me he is all I ever wished for.

Please HELP

Some people don't need to say "i love you" every 5 minutes. It gets a little annoying if every 5 to 10 minutes my phone is buzzing with an "I love you" or "do you love me" it's nice to get every once in awhile to make you smile but too much it just gets bothersome.

It sounds like there is lack of communication here. You have all these thoughts and feelings. My question is have you truly sat down and discussed it with him. The only way to know what each other is feeling or thinking is by truly talking to each other as well as being able to listen to each others concerns. I agree with the above answer as well, try not to be so pushy... I love you's are great, but that is kind of over board. Did he ever say he loves you back? Actions speak louder then words, especially for some man. He is treating you well and you guys get a long great then I do not see an issue here. I think your insecure as well, because your always looking for reassurance that he feels the same way for you. Just because he does not say the words or as often does not mean he does not feel the same way towards you.

To answer your question, I think you should stay and work through things and start communicating better..

You have been through a lot with your pregnancy and losing a child. Its understandable to be a bit insecure as you heal from this, and that goes for you both.

It's the hardships that bond us, and through some honest communications, you can work through this together.

You will need to curb your impulsive behavior though, and thats what you need to explain to him, that your having these feelings, but are trying to overcome them, then put those intentions into actions.

So yes, stay and do the work it takes, to make the relationship better.

You have to ask yourself if you have realistic expectations about the relationship.

If someone is inherently not an affectionate person,chances are that is pretty hard wired and not likely to change.

If you are saying I love you every five minutes and saying sorry just to keep the peace all the time,that sounds needy and clingy.

Needy and clingy is never attractive and most people would pull away from that. You get the exact opposite of what you are looking for.

You are tired of running after him but why do you have to?
Because you have an unrealistic expectation of what love is.

You sound insecure and I think you need to face the reasons you feel that way and figure out how you can help yourself to overcome your insecurity.Simply ask yourself.why do I feel this way?
What am I afraid of? I think a little self introspection will help you.

Had to spread the rep Artlady because I couldn't give you a greenie. Being clingy isn't attracted at all and only pushes your partner away.

I want to add that the problems starting once the two of you moved in together 5 months ago. Living together isn't easy but you get to see your partner true side. I think all couples should live together because they get married.

Now I don't know if the trouble began after your pregnancy and if your hurting from behind it but if you are then you should let it out by talking to a counseling and your boyfriend.

You and your boyfriends has your own life and friends and that's okay. It's okay for him to hang out with them without you. If you want to go out than go out with your friends but don't hold it against him because he goes out with his.

I can understand you wanting some affection from your boyfriend and you need to express this to him since you already know that he lacks this quality. When you do talk to him choose your words wisely. Don't use negative words like "You never, Why don't you", stay positive by saying "I would like it if you_, It makes me feel appreciated when you_". Hopefully you have a different outcome.

Plans some dates with one another just like the two of you did before the two of you starting living together.

However if nothing change after the two of you talk with time then things will keep going the way things are now. For a relationship to work it takes two people.

Wow.. When I signed up for this and then while I was writing I thought it would be pointless. But less than a day I have many responses. And I want to thank all of you for responding. I took every word from all to the heart. I know its not easy hearing complete strangers saying something's like I'm insecure. But I totally understand. Now I am questioning myself as told. Maybe I am toooo afraid of losing him. I think I need to construct my life as one to become two. But I will do this with him by myside so I can feel like I have a place of my own in this so called world.

And answering a question.. Yes he did say he loves me, he was the first acctually. Occasionaly he does too. But I guess I wanted more.

But I do need to at least give him space and allow his heart to say it on his own.
The words I love you come out by accident sometimes. I am just an affectionest person.
Also the funny thing is that if I don't say I love you at times, or I don't call him, text, or cuddle him he will question me why and complian. I tried to change. To allow him to breath. But when I do he says that I am up to something. Like if I am cheating or don't want him anymore. Can anyone understand? I can't understand myself. But when I sit down and tell him that I would like him to show more effection one he would say that I piss him off a lot and that I need to change my ways. But most of the reasons when I piss him off is so that he can noitce me more. Or two he will bring up his childhood past. That he is not used to all this love and effection because he was brought up with two fight parents who he barely got attention. But he does show me affection but his affections are different than mine. To show affection one I would kiss, cuddle, hug, message or something like that. But he has a different way, its even hard to explain. I think I am trying to get used to it still.

Thank You ALL again!!

But he has a different way, its even hard to explain. I think I am trying to get used to it still.


It's a lifetime experience, you will always learn new things about your partner, and have to deal with them. Have fun with it, and thank you for your very open attitude.

People who didn't grow up with an affectionate family will have a hard time showing affection because they're not used to it.

Just show how, don't expect much and be patient.

As long as you know he cares for you, no infidelity involved and still loves each other, you're in good shape. Remember, real relationships isn't exactly how we see it in love stories.