I have been reading on here for the last few days many questions that people have and some very interesting answers, but overall there seemes to be a general trend in the way that people do things- now I'm not trying to put down any individual situation and I am not looking at the reasons that people break up I am just questioning the process that we all seem to go through after break-up, myself included.
I myself am the one that's dumped for what ever reason
Then there is a person that done the dumping, for whatever reason
Now I go through an emotional time, better myself love myself etc etc
Time and space- no contact
The dumper then realises that he/she wants it back
And then I'm assuming that the dumpee in some way goes through similar emotions that the dumped went through and starts the journey of self finding to get over the end rejection
Is this always the case??
If this is always the case why don't we teach this to our children, if we know that this is the routine then surely we would be a little more prepared to deal with it when it does happen,

No it's not always the case, sometimes the exes do separate ways and never see each other again, sometimes they become friends and sometimes they do reunite.

I believe in teaching my daughter, about relationships, to go in with your head first, take it slow and lastly know that not all relationships work because they are building blocks to the ultimate one.

You trip, you fall, soon you'll learn how to walk.

Sarah

I think,where ever you are,hurt is hurt,if it's a teenage romance finished after two days,or a marriage finished after 20 years.there are some lessons in life that you can't teach,you have to experience it for yourself,you can't teach emotion,but you can give the tools through your own experience to help someone else get through.

In the throes of heartache people scramble for a reason,listening to other peoples experience helps.

If 30 people try and help on one thread,and only one line or reply gets through to that person and makes them feels better about the situation or themselves,that's a good thing,yeah? No?

You have an chance now to share your experience,and help someone to get through a bad day.

The process I mean, to get you to the stage where you can then both heal enough to become friends or reunite or never see each other again, is the process always the same?
I also believe in teaching my children about relationships, and to listen to head first- but that's easier said than done when the heart becomes involved, and children follow what they see quicker than hearing what you say don't they?

Redhead, thanks for your answer, I just wanted to say that I don't want anyone to think that I'm not gratefull for the answers that I have had- I am!! And I've even felt I have known enough to answer some questions too, which has made me feel good, I was just asking a general question- looking at it the way that I summarised it has helped me personally know what stage I'm at and where I will go next- now I know its not set in stone or anything like that as we are all different, but its kind of a guideline to starting to feel better,

I personally believe that people should make things easy and say them as they are
And do as they say
Sometimes it will hurt and yes there will be pain but there will be no confusion,
I like things broken down in a blunt way, and I hope that by asking that question the way that I did, then maybe it will help someone else too,

You are generalizing every relationship.

Every relationship broke up for different reasons. Every person is different.

The process might be the same, (1) break up, (2) no contact, (3) ready to talk.

The results will be different for everyone.

I wish,
I did not intend to generalize every relationship- I did say that I was only talking about the process and not the reasons that led to the break up in any way,
What I was asking was the process always the same? Was the process always the same from both sides of the relationship? Thank you for your reply

I think perhaps people find there own way through it,the process of healing is different for everyone,and each is on there own time scale,one feels hurt,the other not,and it can go around and around until one decides I've enough,and moves on.

I think you are right in that children should be taught more about self respect. While more self respect and self love would not prevent the hurts in life, it would make us better able to deal with it.

Yes so do I,
But this has helped me, I am going through a process that has worked for other people, and I will be OK!