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Lama22
Apr 8, 2009, 08:16 PM
Lately I've been thinking and I'm 13 almost 14 and I want to have sex. And I know the guy I want to have it with too, he's 16. Now don't give me any crap like oh he's too old or that could be rape or anything like that, I KnoW! But anyway I want to have sex and I want to get pregnant. Idk why I want to but I've been thinking about it lately and those are my thoughts. So should I or should I really reconsinder?.

HelpinHere
Apr 8, 2009, 08:27 PM
Reconsider.
Reconsider, reconsider, a thousand times reconsider.

As far as the sex goes, I'm willing to bet that it is just your hormones. If you find a safer/easier alternative, possibly masturbation.
Also, if you want to push the boundary of statutatory rape, then you must not care about this guy very much.

As far as becoming pregnant, COMPLETELY hormones. Until you can physically, emotionally, and economically support a child alone, you are not ready to have one with another person. Children are so much harder than most people think that most teenage mothers (especially those under 16) don't raise their kids. It either goes to their mother, another family member with children, or adoption.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but you ARE NOT ready for that, and I'm sure that 99% of the people on these forums will agree with me.

Alty
Apr 8, 2009, 09:19 PM
Sure, why not, you're 13, you know everything, right?

I mean, how hard can it be to be a single mom at 13? Oh, you, single, trust me, that boy won't be sticking around.

You have a job right? You can get an apartment by yourself? You have enough money for food, clothes, diapers, bottles, a crib, stroller, car seat, medication, doctors appointments, etc, etc, etc. Oh, are you in the States? It costs around $12,000 to have a baby, you have that though, right?

Oh, you're not going on Welfare are you? Well, if you want this baby, don't you dare make us tax payers pay for it. Get a job. I know, you're only 13, no one will hire you, but I think most McDonalds will, you can make it a career, who knows, you could be a manager by the time you're 40, making a bit over minimum wage. That's cool!

In other words, I don't think you've thought this through, I also think that you're just on spring break, bored and want to shock some people. If this is real, then you don't have the sense God gave a goat.

Good luck.

nikosmom
Apr 8, 2009, 09:59 PM
Seriously? You want to have a baby because you're almost 14? And you think it'd be fun I'm guessing.

You obviously have no idea what it takes to raise a child. Sure they're cute and smell good but they are a whole lot of work and selfless giving. Their needs will always come before yours.

Who do you think will take care of this baby? You're not capable because you don't even take care of yourself yet. So the responsibility gets thrown off to everyone else; your parents, neighbors or whoever you get to babysit for you and the rest of us who waited to have children. So are you telling me you expect me to take care of my child and yours too? That's pretty unbelievable that you have the nerve to think that's a good idea.

And why do you want a child?- Oh yeah, you said, "IDK"- THAT'S NOT A REAL ANSWER! A baby is a little person and they're not so cute when they're up to feed at 3 am, or when they're sick and screaming, or they scream for no apparent reason (and they will). I know some adults that shouldn't have kids much less a hormonal teenager.

Not only is this situation idiotic and not logical, it's SELFISH. It's selfish to bring a child into the world when you don't have the capacity (mental, physical, or financial) to care for him/her properly. This is as foolish as the people that breed dogs in their living room because they think the puppies will be cute; never concerned about the aftermath. What makes you think you are qualified to be a mother? What, because you got your period? If so then your common sense must've leaked out with last month's cycle.

JoeCanada76
Apr 8, 2009, 10:18 PM
Lately I've been thinking and I'm 13 almost 14 and I wanna have sex. And I know the guy I wanna have it with too, he's 16. Now don't give me any crap like oh he's too old or that could be rape or anything like that, I KnoW! But anyways I wanna have sex and I wanna get pregnant. Idk why I want to but I've been thinking about it lately and those r my thoughts. So should I or should I really reconsinder??...

Do not give you crap. Yes, I am going to give you crap. Just like I should and everybody else should. He is too old. You are too young. Your immature. Sorry but just because you want to do something does not mean you should. Those may be your thoughts but your actions if you went through with it will screw a lot of people. Especially the innocent child that will be brought into this world. Dinkle dorf.

starbuck8
Apr 8, 2009, 11:47 PM
So, lets get this straight here. You are "almost" 14. You "know this guy that you want to have IT with too!" Do you know that this guy that "you know" could be charged with a sexual offense? Do you know it could ruin the REST OF HIS LIFE?. not to mention yours! Are you really that selfish? Yes... YOU ARE. At your age, you have NO idea of the consequences here. Not ONE clue how many lives will ruin, if you make this your decision.

Let's talk about having sex with this boy first. How long have you known him? I'm guessing a few months. What is it that you "know" about him? Is he a virgin? I'm doubting this, unless you are planning to trap and seduce a virgin, and lie to him about using protection. You have no right to do this to him and ruin his life in this way. What about STD's if he isn't a virgin? Do you think it "just won't happen to you?" Are you the special one? No, you are NOT! You have NO clue what you are getting into here! Not one clue!

But lets say that none of that happens. Let's say that you both agree to have a baby. Well, how are either of you going to support this baby? Who is going to watch this baby when you are in school or doing homework? You are in school right? What happens when you have the baby? Who pays for it? You can't. This 16 yr. old boy can't. So who then? WE DO!

But!. here's the kicker! We, the taxpayers, have to pay for other things too! So you are going to get the bare minimum! See, you don't even PAY taxes yet, so you don't understand how this works! Do you even know about taxes and where they go? Money does just not appear out of nowhere, and even if you get a check in the mail and think it does, it will not be nearly enough for you to support yourself and a baby. Trust me, your baby's daddy will NOT stick around. He will run faster than you could chase him... or he'll be locked up! You won't get a dime from him, and IF you do, you baby will be a teenager by the time you get it!

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way a little, back to who is going to look after this babies needs? Who is going to have to wake up every hr. at night to care for him/her? You are going to have to breast feed for years, because I doubt you will be able to afford formula on top of your other expenses, that you have no money for to begin with. How are you going to go to school and get a good education in order to raise this baby, when you are up all night with a sick or screaming baby? Your baby will not sleep through the night. Your baby will need 24/7 care! How will you do that and go to school?

Look, right now you are thinking a baby would just be so cute. Or if you had a baby with this "boy" that you might be able to keep him and you would be one happy family. You are 110% wrong! No way... no how... not going to happen. It just WON'T! You don't understand this yet, but you will when you are older.

Your brain has not yet fully developed. That is not an insult, that is a FACT. If you look at a brain scan of a 14 yr old, all of your neurotransmitters that connect to your brain, are just not all fully attached yet. Your brain isn't fully developed until you are into your 20's. What this means is that you do not have the ability at 14 yrs. Of age, to look ahead and make informed choices. You really can't see around corners! You are living in the here and now, and even next week seems a lifetime away if you have something planned, that you just can't wait for.

You are not ready for this! Talk to someone you are close to, or maybe your school counselor, and come up with a better plan for your life. No boy is going to want to date you once this boy leaves, or take you to the senior prom, with a baby on your arms.

HistorianChick
Apr 9, 2009, 08:25 AM
Just because you can jump off a bridge, doesn't mean that you should jump off a bridge.

Just because you can sing karaoke at your friend's birthday party, doesn't mean that you should try out for American Idol.

Just because you know how to drive a car, doesn't mean that it's legal.

Just because you can smoke, doesn't mean that you should.

Just because you can have a baby, doesn't mean that you should have a baby.

You're not old enough to take care of the baby by yourself. Period. Therefore, you should not have sex. Because hon, sex = baby.

You're not ready for the midnight feedings, the hundreds of dirty diapers, the thousands of dollars in food, clothes, and diapers, the aches and pains, the labor, the hormones, the responsibility, the commitment, the human life depending on you for its very survival.

redhed35
Apr 9, 2009, 08:36 AM
That's some plan you have for your life there,by the way,once that baby goes in,it has to come out! And it hurts like hell!

Did you get the reaction you wanted?

What you have read is all good advice,you may not like it.. tough.

Your 13.be 13. Get a pup,on seconds thoughts scrap that idea. Get a doll.

slapshot_oi
Apr 9, 2009, 09:52 AM
Now don't give me any crap like oh he's too old or that could be rape or anything like that, I KnoW!
... You are really, really dumb, the kind of dumb that teenage boys just love to take advantage of. And if he's willing to become a sex-offender because he slept with a girl under the age of consent, then he's dumb too.

Hope life works out for you.

Lama22
Apr 9, 2009, 05:51 PM
God u all seriously think wayyyy took much. And no my spring break starts tomorrow so scratch that idea! I. Come to this website to share my feeling and what I want help with all u don't need to be biotches about it! My lord!

Alty
Apr 9, 2009, 05:58 PM
God u all seriously think wayyyy took much. And no my spring break starts tomorrow so scratch that idea! I. Come to this website to share my feeling and what I want help with all u don't need to be biotches about it! My lord!!

You're 13! Yes, we need to be "biotches" about it because obviously that's what you need!

You are a child, no matter what you think or believe, you're a child. There is no way that you can handle having a baby, no matter what you think and believe.

Really, there's nothing we can say, you'll do whatever it is you want to do. In fact, if you're a true 13 year old, you'll probably do it out of spite now!

But, when you're sitting at home night after night with a colicky baby, no money, no boyfriend, no parents and wondering where you went wrong, well, it's be because you didn't listen.

You don't have to like the advice, the truth hurts, but you do need to hear it.

I don't regret one single thing I said to you. Now the ball is in your court. Either you decide to listen to people who've been there, done that, or you do what you want and suffer the consequences. Believe me, you will suffer, forever! But whatever right? You're young, you think you know it all, so much smarter then the adults in your life. Well, just fyi, I was 13 once too, so maybe you should listen, because I lived through it!

We're being cruel because we want you to listen. Kindness doesn't work, that's what we've learned! Now it's your turn to learn. Hopefully you'll listen.

ScottGem
Apr 9, 2009, 06:24 PM
If this wouldn't ruin at least 3 lives I would almost like to say go ahead. And 3 years from now when you are a welfare mom tearing your hair out because all your friends are having fun while you are burdened with the car of your baby you can come back here and tell others to not be as dumb as you are being.

But the fact is, you will be ruining your life, the father's and the baby's. You will also have an adverse affect on the grandparents as well. And, of course, you will be a drain on the state as you and your baby have to be supported.

mudweiser
Apr 9, 2009, 06:37 PM
What a great idea! Now you can stay up late!

Babies born in the U.S. to teenage mothers are at risk for long-term problems in many major areas of life, including school failure, poverty, and physical or mental illness. The teenage mothers themselves are also at risk for these problems.

Teenage pregnancy is usually a crisis for the pregnant girl and her family. Common reactions include anger, guilt, and denial. If the father is young and involved, similar reactions can occur in his family.

Adolescents who become pregnant may not seek proper medical care during their pregnancy, leading to an increased risk for medical complications. Pregnant teenagers require special understanding, medical care, and education--particularly about nutrition, infections, substance abuse, and complications of pregnancy. They also need to learn that using tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs, can damage the developing fetus. All pregnant teenagers should have medical care beginning early in their pregnancy.

Pregnant teens can have many different emotional reactions:

* some may not want their babies
* some may want them for idealized and unrealistic ways
* others may view the creation of a child as an achievement and not recognize the serious responsibilities
* some may keep a child to please another family member
* some may want a baby to have someone to love, but not recognize the amount of care the baby needs
* depression is also common among pregnant teens
* many do not anticipate that their adorable baby can also be demanding and sometimes irritating
* some become overwhelmed by guilt, anxiety, and fears about the future
* depression is also common among pregnant teens

Babies born to teenagers are at risk for neglect and abuse because their young mothers are uncertain about their roles and may be frustrated by the constant demands of care taking. Adult parents can help prevent teenage pregnancy through open communication and by providing guidance to their children about sexuality, contraception, and the risks and responsibilities of intimate relationships and pregnancy. Some teenage girls drop out of school to have their babies and don't return. In this way, pregnant teens lose the opportunity to learn skills necessary for employment and self-survival as adults.

DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS?

ooh boy I wish your momma would read this
Sarah

braindamage
Apr 9, 2009, 06:47 PM
RECONSIDER
and it has nothing to do with your age
it has to do with the fact that you can get pregnant and when you do how the hell will you take care of the baby... think about it's a living person not a cute accesory
and trust me this guy won't help with the baby
JUST Don't DO IT!
=D

morshep95
Apr 9, 2009, 07:27 PM
OK I'm also 13 and I also have a 16 year old boyfriend I mean I have though about making a baby with him but I though about it and I agree with everyone else... ITS A BAD IDEA! But I understand..

About the sex thing... umm the only advice I have for you is:
1. Get on birth control and have him wear protection
2.umm how long have you been with him... at least wait for 3 or 4 months
And three WATCH OUT... im sorry for saying this but he's 16 of corse he's going to want sex just see if he really cares first...

K... well I hope I helped!

Lama22
Apr 9, 2009, 07:37 PM
ok im also 13 and i also have a 16 year old bf i mean i have though about making a baby with him but i though about it and i agree with everyone else ...ITS A BAD IDEA! But i understand..

About the sex thing....umm the only advice i have for you is:
1. Get on birth control and have him wear protection
2.umm how long have you been with him...at least wait for 3 or 4 months
and three WATCH OUT....im sorry for saying this but he's 16 of corse he's gonna want sex just see if he really cares first ....

K...well i hope i helped!


Omg you thanks! Someone who at least understands and doesn't just think they know everything because they've been 13 before and think they know it all. Because maybe they aren't going through what we r. So you thanks!

nikosmom
Apr 9, 2009, 07:59 PM
Omg ya thanks! Someone who atleast understands and doesn't just think they know everything becuz they've been 13 before and think they know it all. Because maybe they aren't going throught wat we r. So ya thanks!

Sounds like the Blind leading the Blind.

We're not going through what you're going through; we've been through what you're going through.

Look, we're trying to educate you on what you'd be getting yourself into. I know what it's like to take care of a baby and it's not easy. I'm done with school, I own my own home, and have a pretty decent job... and guess what- it's still a struggle to make ends meet.

Daycare, diapers, formula, clothes, shoes, pediatrician visits, medicines, missed days from work; it's not easy. You're not mentally capable of see the long-term effects of what you do today.

I have to ask a question, what makes you want a baby? And don't say "IDK", you want to make an adult decision to have sex, then you should be able to express your feelings.

Alty
Apr 9, 2009, 08:03 PM
OK I'm also 13 and I also have a 16 year old boyfriend I mean I have though about making a baby with him but I though about it and I agree with everyone else... ITS A BAD IDEA! But I understand..

About the sex thing... umm the only advice I have for you is:
1. Get on birth control and have him wear protection
2.umm how long have you been with him... at least wait for 3 or 4 months
And three WATCH OUT... im sorry for saying this but he's 16 of corse he's going to want sex just see if he really cares first...

K... well I hope I helped!

K, did you know that no form of birth control is 100% effective, so, if you're having sex you could get pregnant, not matter how careful you are.

Also, this is disturbing
... at least wait for 3 or 4 months is that what constitutes a long term relationship nowadays. Wow!

The future isn't looking very good. :(

Alty
Apr 9, 2009, 08:05 PM
You know what, I've reconsidered.

Think about it everyone. If all the teens did smart stuff and listened, places like McDonalds would close down. The world will always need burger flippers.

I'm looking into the furture of these two teens, and I see a hamburger patty!

Ana52408
Apr 9, 2009, 08:11 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah I can just keep laughing! Damn, I'm so glad I took the advice of you guys about getting a dog for my boyfriend,

By the way alty she's doing amazing and she's sooo big and she lovesssssss the park (we take her every sunday) and she loves fetching and she's super well trained OK sorry I got off topic but anyhow


Listen Lama22, you are nobody to come over here and call these people biotches first they are ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL older than you and they are ALLLLLL right and you are SO SO SO wrong honey. You are 13, go get some sex education and such, you need to focus in school, what you need is a slap in the face you kind of remind of this girl...

YouTube - Maury Show - 15 Year Old has had sex OVER 300 Times!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRdJ49ItMnc)


You want to be like that?


Where are your parents here cause if this is how they raised you to be then honey you have no education at all!

ISneezeFunny
Apr 9, 2009, 08:27 PM
Lama, I'm sure you've had an entire day of people yelling at you on this thread... so I won't do that. It's not that I agree with you, it's just that there's no point in beating a dead horse when the horse doesn't know it's dead.. . if that made sense...

I'm going to say... that I'm 23. I know that sounds ancient to you, but I remember being 13 very well. I was freshly into puberty, very horny, and wanted to be with someone very closely.

Now that I'm 23, however, I realized that having a child would have been a nightmare. The people here are telling you not to do this for a reason. They were 13 once, and they got older, and realized that it would have been impossibly hard to take care of a child if they were to ever get pregnant.

Also, you have to realize that ALL of these people are telling you that it's a bad idea. On a poll, that would mean that you have a general consensus that having sex with a guy at 13 is a bad idea. In court, you'd be considered guilty unanimously.

Enjoy being 13, good things come later. Trust me.

slapshot_oi
Apr 9, 2009, 10:45 PM
God u all seriously think wayyyy took much. And no my spring break starts tomorrow so scratch that idea! I. Come to this website to share my feeling and what I want help with all u don't need to be biotches about it! My lord!!
I did help you, this is the best help you can get. You ask a dumb question you get a dumb response. I highly doubt you thought anyone would be okay with what you had to ask.

HelpinHere
Apr 10, 2009, 12:11 AM
God u all seriously think wayyyy took much. And no my spring break starts tomorrow so scratch that idea! I. Come to this website to share my feeling and what I want help with all u don't need to be biotches about it! My lord!!

Okay, I gave you an answer in a respectful tone.
Even though I don't believe you were answering ME specifically, I KNOW you shouldn't be disrespectful to anyone here. Even though their answers were disrespectful, you came seeking help and they ALL told you what you needed to hear in different ways.


Lately I've been thinking....
Yes, you've been thinking:
Thinking that you want to ruin your life.
Thinking that you want to burden everyone around you.
Thinking you want to force hundreds of tax payers to support you enough to scrape by.
Thinking that you are going to bring an innocent soul into this world to be tortured by an inexperienced, unprepared, and stupid mother.

You say everyone here thinks "too much",
Honey, you aren't even beginning to think AT ALL.
Quit being stupid, and take the ADVICE of EVERYONE here.

45notdaddy
Apr 10, 2009, 12:20 AM
Anybody else thinking of the Cartman on Maury bit from South Park right now?

Whatever | South Park | Comedy Central Video (http://vodpod.com/watch/778010-whatever-south-park-comedy-central)

Whateva whateva I do what I want!

Ok, Lama - I'll have a Big and Tasty meal extra pickle and no salt on my fries (best way to get fresh fries because there's always salt packets).

ScottGem
Apr 10, 2009, 07:47 AM
ok im also 13 and i also have a 16 year old bf i mean i have though about making a baby with him but i though about it and i agree with everyone else ...ITS A BAD IDEA! But i understand..

About the sex thing....umm the only advice i have for you is:
1. Get on birth control and have him wear protection
2.umm how long have you been with him...at least wait for 3 or 4 months
and three WATCH OUT....im sorry for saying this but he's 16 of corse he's gonna want sex just see if he really cares first ....

K...well i hope i helped!

This is mostly good advice. Except for the issue that no form of birth controil is 100%, you have given good advice that maybe Lama will accept from a peer.

The real problem here is that Lama does not understand that we don't think we know everything, but we do know that a 13 year old is not mature enough to make these decisions.

I notice Lama is totally ignoring all the problems we have raised. She refused to even argue the points. I suspect this is either because a) she'a troll just trying to get a rise out of people or b) she knows she is wrong and can't come up with a good counter argument.

starbuck8
Apr 10, 2009, 09:00 AM
Lama, if you think any of these answers to your question are offensive to your lack of sensibility, you are definitely not ready to have sex, OR EVEN CLOSE to knowing what being a mother is all about!

You have got serious self esteem issues, or you would not be so angry at the advice being given to you from people here that know what you don't know. I think you need to step back and think about this! Admit to yourself that at 13, you don't know, what you don't know! Knowledge comes from experience, and that is why you are getting the advice given to you here.

HelpinHere
Apr 10, 2009, 09:11 AM
... And no my spring break starts tomorrow so scratch that idea....

Just noticed this...
It seems to me like that IS what you want. You just wanted to come here and get someone to say "you go girl" before you went and made the biggest mistake of your life.
Well, here's news to you, it WILL BE the BIGGEST MISTAKE of your LIFE.

Just read all the above posts

mudweiser
Apr 10, 2009, 09:30 AM
Lama if you want a teen's perspective here is a story that I hope will open your eyes :



Hello my name is Larissa
One month before my 16th birthday i found out i was pregnant
This was very exciting because i was trying to get pregnant with my boyfriend at the time
Now i just shake my head really i don't know what i was thinking
I feel like i just needed someone to take care of and to make my life better
I am currently 16-years-old and 10weeks and 5days pregnant
I have been kicked out of the house and currently looking for a place to stay
i have been looking into a place called Bethesda Centre in support with the Salvation Army
Its a home for pregnant and partening teens
It provides support, schooling, everything i could ask for
i really hope i will be able to go there if not i want to find an apartment ang go to school aswell as a job, which really seems overwhelming
My ex boyfriend and the father of my child is very mean and selfish about this pregnacy
First of all he doesn't want me to have this baby and has been trying to get me jumped and make me lose the baby
Though i told him i was keeping the baby he said he HAS to be in the babys life or he will take me to court for it
He has threatened me before and did aswell today
I am fed up so i will be calling the cops on him when my parents get back
How can anyone say to someone having a baby that they want to kill you but keep the baby or just trying to kick you in the stomach to kill the baby it is very wrong
I have balled my eyes out so many times for the safety of me and my unborn child
I know that im am going to be stong and will do my best to make it though this rough time
I can't wait to find out the sex of my baby and finally when it comes sometime in late October 2009
I would just to say thank you for everyone who has written on this site without all of your stories and support i would have gotten an abortion i was just 5 days away when i broke out and told everyone that i didn't want to get an abortion so THANK YOU everyone <3
And also anyone who reads these stories and is unsure about what they want to do please remember that anyone can get though this if you try it doesn't matter the age im having this baby at 16 but look at how many people are pregnant and already have kids younger that what i am
Please think long and hard
it is tough but trust me you can and will get though it

lots of love
Larissa

These are just one of many teens who made a bad decision, either by choice or just not being sexually smart [using contraception properly, etc]

If you want to read more see here: Teen Mothers; Their Stories (http://www.pregnancystories.net/single_moms/index12.html)


Sarah

XOXOlove
Apr 10, 2009, 09:39 AM
Lama22, here's what you should do:
Have you ever heard of those practice robot babies? I'm not sure what they are called but there are classes that you can take that have them. When they cry you have to turn it off using a key. They are programed so the teacher knows when they have been neglected. There was a child study program when I was in middle school for girls your age and every person who took it used the doll and thought that they could handle it but they couldn't. They would come to school so tired and they hated the doll. Maybe you can try one of those classes to see how it is. Or even try babysitting. Talk to your parents about it. I don't think that getting pregnant at a youg age is good idea because so many girls at my high school get pregnant and can't keep up with school. They usually drop out and work at the dollar store (seriously). You have to think ahead. Do you know what you are going to do after you have the baby? Are you going to be able to go to school, have a job, and take care of a baby at the same time? Is the father of your baby going to care? I'm not that much older than you and I already know how it is because there are so many girls I know that are like you. The people on this site are not trying to make your choices for you. We are just telling you what it is going to be like if you decide to have a baby.

mudweiser
Apr 10, 2009, 09:43 AM
Children are great, and it's great that you want to be a mother. As it has been mentioned children need a lot of things like diapers, bottles, formula, clothes, a crib and numerous, countless things. The feeling of being pregnant is amazing, your growing something inside of you. Being a mother is hard work and quite awesome. If you want to have a baby, wait. Wait. You want to finish school don't you? You want to go out with your friends to prom don't you? You don't want to be sitting at home taking care of a baby while your friends are out there having fun without you. In fact they will forget you. Who really knows if the baby's father will be there, it's very rare that they do. I have many friends whom aren't with their child's father.

Everyone can tell you DON'T DO IT. DON'T BE STUPID. But it is ultimately your decision no matter how many keys we press, how hard we type on our keyboards, or how much we want to go through the computer and basically slap you over the head.

Think about the PROS and CONS. Sure there would be a little cutie by your side, but how are you going to support it? Welfare isn't fun; you'll end up living in some ghetto where it's unsafe for you and your child. Welfare pays for just enough food, and let me tell you babies get hungry, you'll get hungry. How are you going to finish school if you need a job. If you really want a baby, get off the computer right now. Get a notebook, write all the PROS and CONS and be realistic. If you think your smart, your wise enough to make this decision, do what any adult would do: see the facts before making a life changing decision.

I'm here for support.

If it seems that other ask me helpers are being rude, mean or just plain bit--y, it is not their intention. All of us are really trying to open your eyes.

Sarah

ITstudent2006
Apr 10, 2009, 09:51 AM
Omfg
( I mutter, confused and pondering )

Ana52408
Apr 10, 2009, 10:57 AM
Take a look at this hun, before you go all off on us again...


https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/all-teens-wondering-if-they-should-have-sex-teen-perspective-303617.html



Not only do you need to think this over but you need some respect education added to all the other things you need!

godsbabygirl267
Apr 10, 2009, 11:14 AM
I'm going to make a completely unjudgemental remark.

Reconsider, please.

If you care for this boy, your family, and the potential baby, you will reconsider.

Getting pregnant at 13 is not the way to go.

It's not cool to have kids when you're still a kid yourself.

If you are looking for someone to unconditionally love you, for goodness sakes get a puppy.

Do not put that baby through hell just to make yourself happy.

You aren't ready to do this, obviously, or else you'd not be asking people you don't know from eve about one of the most personal decisions ever.

You can't afford a baby, and I seriously doubt you even know how to take care of one.

Wouldn't you rather wait and have fun as a teenager, I don't condone this, but you'll miss out on all parties, and anything like that because of the kid.

Talk to your councillor and go to a clinic and get some birthcontrol and condoms.

Don't choose wrong, it wll effect you for the rest of your life.

Ana52408
Apr 10, 2009, 11:21 AM
I'm going to make a completely unjudgemental remark.

Reconsider, please.

If you care for this boy, your family, and the potential baby, you will reconsider.

Getting pregnant at 13 is not the way to go.

It's not cool to have kids when you're still a kid yourself.

If you are looking for someone to unconditionally love you, for goodness sakes get a puppy.

Do not put that baby through hell just to make yourself happy.

You aren't ready to do this, obviously, or else you'd not be asking people you don't know from eve about one of the most personal decisions ever.

You can't afford a baby, and I seriously doubt you even know how to take care of one.

Wouldn't you rather wait and have fun as a teenager, I don't condone this, but you'll miss out on all parties, and anything like that because of the kid.

Talk to your councillor and go to a clinic and get some birthcontrol and condoms.

Don't choose wrong, it wll effect you for the rest of your life.




NOT EVEN A PUPPY!


GO GET YOURSELF A TAMAGOTCHI!


Tamagotchi image by tamagotchi910 on Photobucket (http://media.photobucket.com/image/tamagotchi/tamagotchi910/untitled.jpg?o=156)

Alty
Apr 10, 2009, 11:39 AM
NOT EVEN A PUPPY!


GO GET YOURSELF A TAMAGOTCHI!!


Tamagotchi image by tamagotchi910 on Photobucket (http://media.photobucket.com/image/tamagotchi/tamagotchi910/untitled.jpg?o=156)

Darnit, I bought my kids one and they passed it on to me, I couldn't keep the darn thing alive, it kept dying. :eek:

This is not a good sign. ;)

Ana52408
Apr 10, 2009, 11:41 AM
Darnit, I bought my kids one and they passed it on to me, I couldn't keep the darn thing alive, it kept dying. :eek:

This is not a good sign. ;)



LMAOO that's cause you have to constantly be paying attention to them JUST LIKE A BABY FYIIIIIIIIIIIII LAMA22!! ;)

Alty
Apr 10, 2009, 11:43 AM
LMAOO thats cause you have to constantly be paying attention to them JUST LIKE A BABY FYIIIIIIIIIIIII LAMA22!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

But I have two kids, they survived, why can't I keep the tomagotchi thingy alive? Ahhh, memories. It was fun though, until the batteries died. :(

I should go find it, get new batteries, see if I have better luck this time. ;)

Silverfoxkit
Apr 10, 2009, 11:44 AM
Your posts on this forum very clearly show that you are a long way from being mature enough to handle the responsibilities of parenthood. You are not ready to take care of yourself, let alone another human being. You are just a child! Having a baby doesn't just effect your life but EVERYONE around you, including the child and its father as well as both of your families. Are you really so willing to sacrifice the rest of your childhood? Once you become a mother its no longer about you or what you want anymore.

Ana52408
Apr 10, 2009, 11:47 AM
But I have two kids, they survived, why can't I keep the tomagotchi thingy alive? Ahhh, memories. It was fun though, until the batteries died. :(

I should go find it, get new batteries, see if I have better luck this time. ;)


Hahaha, I always liked cleaning up the poop thingy lol and naming them was awesome too, every time the batteries died I would run to home depot or best buy to get new ones lol I even got my 5th grade teacher to get one!

You can pause them when you have to do something so they don't die, lol for kids those are great, maybe this little 13 year old can get one of those! :D;):D

twinkiedooter
Apr 10, 2009, 07:03 PM
I think I've hit on her "idea" guys. It seems that she and all her friends have been watching too much TV and think that a baby is the latest "accessory" that one should have. It does not matter if they ar 13 or 14 or have a husband (not boyfriend but husband), a place to live, a job, or any of that stupid nonsense.

The baby is just the latest accessory and a definite "must have" for all teenage girls these days.

I don't blame Lama for wanting one but I sure do wonder what she's going to do with it once she gets tired of it and I guarantee that will happen real quick.

So Lama, what are you going to do with the kid when you get bored with it or it keeps screaming in your ear that it's hungry or has a dirty diaper? Trade it in for a doll that does not cry or poop? Give it to your parents to raise for you? Take it back to the hospital and try and return it?

Please try not to be so hung up on what's on TV anymore, Lama, as you need to realize that this TV world is just make believe and the real world can be nothing so glamorous as what it's made out to be on TV. Try to ignore all the pretty actresses who get pregnant and not get married. They are not very good role models for young girls like you and your friends.

Sex is not really all that it's cracked up to be either, by the way and more than likely if you actually DO IT with that boy of 16 he's going to be cruising off in another direction because you are a "pushover" and guys do not like a pushover. Trust me on this. They like girls that are hard to get and don't just put out to everyone.

twinkiedooter
Apr 10, 2009, 07:42 PM
mudweiser agrees: it started with Juno which led to the secret life of an american teenager... how do I know all this?

I don't watch much TV except for watching Home and Garden TV or watching Alton Brown on the Food Channel or Breaking Bad episodes on AMC. I guess I must have guessed what is on TV from the way teenagers act when I see them out in supermarkets, etc. or I know this by osmosis or something. Seeing pregnant teenagers this summer is going to be really bad as I anticipate there will be quite a rash of them since all the TV brainwashing that went on over the winter months.

jenniferroxanne
Apr 12, 2009, 08:00 PM
Okay, first I want to say,your not a bad person to want to have a baby. BUT, as you've already heard several times.. not a good idea. I'm not going to nag you about that,but i am going to talk about the sex part of your question.
I bet a good 7/10 girls you ask will say they wish they had waited to lose their vrginity.
It seems so urgent, you wanna do it now, i understand, i've been there. But when people say, make it specal cause you'll remember it for the rest of your life. THEY MEAN IT!.
I guess it's like smoking, any smoker can tell you not to pick it up, it'll be the worst decision of your life. But curiosty gets the better of you, and you never think it could be that bad, and then voila! your stuck smoking and wishing you never started. Just like sex.
You asked for advice, this is my advice. Believe me, it IS a big deal, andI don't think you shouldd make that decision on impulse, you will regret it. Find someone you love, who loves you and who you know won't leave you right after, and when the right time and person comes give him that gift.
I'm not saying you should be married or anything, or even older, im not that uptight, you just only get this once, make it worth it!.

Alty
Apr 12, 2009, 08:02 PM
I'm not saying you should be married or anything, or even older, im not that uptight, you just only get this once, make it worth it!.

Welcome to AMHD Jennifer.

Although purple is a very pretty color, it makes you post really hard to read. I realize that there are color options, but they're generally used to highlight specific areas etc.

Please stick to black when posting, it will get you more repsonses, otherwise most people will just overlook your post.

Thanks. :)

{Editor's note: Color Changed-<>}

ScottGem
Apr 13, 2009, 06:06 AM
Okay, first I want to say,your not a bad person to want to have a baby. BUT, as you've already heard several times.. not a good idea.

I'm not saying you should be married or anything, or even older, im not that uptight, you just only get this once, make it worth it!.

I'm going to disagree with the above. First, wanting to have a baby does not make one a bad person. But wanting to have a baby at 13 with no regard to the affect this will have makes one a selfish, immature and pretty dumb person.

No one should have sexual intercours until they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child.

xo-Niicole
Apr 13, 2009, 07:58 AM
You're just a child! Are you kidding me! You have NO idea how hard it is to take care of a child! Go ahead, have the sex but rap it up! Be safe. You're too young, hunny. I think you should think about it a little more.
Think about what you want to get yourself into, think about whether you're ready for something like that.

Don't be stupid.

artlady
Apr 13, 2009, 08:42 AM
Lama ,You have a romantic notion of what having a baby is.

You have just recently got past the age of playing with dolls.
Dolls can't love you back.Dolls aren't real.Now ,your thinking a baby is one step up from a doll.

You think a baby is going to be something that is just yours,no one can take it away and your baby is going to love you no matter what and your going to have a baby to give all of your love to.

That is what someone your age thinks but it is nothing like that in real life.

In real life you have no freedom,your baby does not just do what you want because you are tired or lazy.Your baby demands your time always.That means for at least the next 18 yrs. your #1 priority in life will be that child.

And when you are so tired you can barely see straight and your baby has just thrown up for the fifth time in a day and you can't get her to stop crying and you are crying too,what are you going to do? Give her to your Mom?

Have you ever heard a baby cry for hours on end and nothing makes them stop? Its called colic and it has driven adult Moms over the edge. How well do you really think you will be able to handle that ?

You don't get to say*this isn't what I wanted* and turn back time.You can't give her back!

Spent one week with a newborn baby and I can bet you ,your fairy tale outlook about being a Mom will be over.

Being a mother is the hardest job there is.It is all about giving and giving and giving some more.

You called the women on here Beoches because they disagree with you and gave you the wisdom of their experience.That shows me you do not have even the maturity that a 13 yr.old should possess.

You need so many qualities to be a good parent , a parent has to be teacher ,nurse,counselor,caregiver etc.and at your age you just don't have those qualities yet.

When you are older and have experienced life and learned everything you need to know to be a Mom ,you still will struggle.All parents struggle!

Should you reconsider... without a doubt!

alana1xxx
Apr 22, 2009, 10:09 AM
Lama you are a brat and no not one of them stylish dolls (you probably have the collection of them though you know from santa! ) you are looking for the shock factor on here you couldn't really have that mentality 13 or not seriously have you mentioned this to your friends? What is their response?. if you want to set out to completely destroy whatever kind of a future you have to look forward to go ahead be my guest...

Does this boy even know you exist more to the point probably not I'm sure he is out there enjoying himself and his youth and if he even got wind that you wanted to have a baby with him he would probably freak out and never clap eyes on you again! Not to mention tell all his friends and make a complete fool out of you because this not the usual way of thinking for a CHILD of your age.

How dare you come on here and at people like that trying to put some sense in that small minded head of yours who do you think you are? Respect your elders full stop. If I were your mother I would clip you around the ear, you have no manners you are rude and selfish.

I don't really care if you don't like what your hearing because your going to hear a lot more of it if you do get pregnant, this is not the real world YOU do NOT know it all, in fact you know nothing if this is your mentality, go to school get some education and sense and come back to all of us and thank us then.

One day you will look back and blush with embarrassment that you even posted such a thing on the internet and worse still was rude about it.

I hope for your own sake you wake up QUICK!