Girlfriend and I lived together for over a year. She used to get really jealous (more than I could handle) of other females (I only had 1-2 female friends) and so I gave them up for her. Also about my past (3 girls, I am 22.. not bad). Also accusing me of looking at girls (I don't, I'm a romantic type, never have cheated) and not wanting me to go out a lot without her socially. Low self esteem. I gave up my music, friends, and a LOT for her because she would complain. I used to get really angry because I thought it was wrong but did it to make her happy.

She moved from miami to the west coast FOR ME and school. She has no family here. She made friends, everything cool. She started to complain we weren't going out enough, I wasn't showing her attention. That is true in some respects, but BS because we DID go out and as I mentioned, I stopped doing a lot to spend more time with her. We both work and go to school so that doesn't help.

She started acting suspicious and we would get in fights. She would constantly and be in bad moods when she came home (not involving me) and just seemed so unhappy. She would randomly go out for weird excuses. She wouldn't sleep with me for 2 months and said she was just stressed. I tried to talk with her and tell her what can I do? She's not very good at communicating.

After all this, I started to think there was someone else. Not accusing her, just asking her what the hell is going on. I can FEEL something different. She said there's no spark. She randomly took off to California for a weekend. Always out, spending night at a friend's, just being so weird! UGHHHH.

We got into some really bad fights. I messed up really bad and said so many things I don't mean when I get angry. I just know there is more she won't say. I'm so incredibly sorry and apologized (she says things too). Well, we had a good weekend and she wrote me a nice love letter saying we are starting over. 3 days without a fight and on the 4th she send me a text at work... she's moving out! She needs space Come home and she's gone. Says she's at a friend's house. Then I find out it's a friend's sister but won't tell me or her parents in miami where. I get our phone bill (lists all the numbers our lines talk to) and see a number she texts HUNDREDS of times a DAY for days on end up until like 9 pm. Heart sinks. I find out who it is and don't tell her, hoping she confesses. She weaves so many lies and finally tell her I know where she lives and who that number is. She calls me a stalker and psychotic. I just want to know what's going on! Breaking my heart.

Turns out, it's a 30 year old guy with a kid (my girlfriend is 20) that is separated from his wife and "supposedly" they all live with his 32 year old sister. IS SHE BANGING THIS GUY? He goes to our college.

She talks to me one day, the next she don't. She tells me she wants to fix our problems and just wants physical space but wants to talk and still see each other. Just needed to get away from the fighting. Cool. But when I would call she would get soooo upset over nothing, so I went NC. She would break it and get so upset at me for "ignoring" her.

To add to my stupid problems, I told multiple friends I knew in Miami about what is going on, and they told me she has a past a lotttt different from what she told me. Apparently, she has been with more guys, is a flirt, and has cheated on guys before. Now, I have no problem with a woman's past but why lie? ESPECIALLY NOW WITH THIS MOVING OUT GOING ON!!!

I confronted her and she got upset and said some of it was true but some was not. Never admitting to cheating. I don't even care. She's a liar and she basically told me "so what. i didnt want u to judge me. its none of your business!"

I am trying to forget her. Help me out. Is she telling the truth about JUST LIVING with this guy because she has no family here and honestly just wants space to heal like she says? Or is all this suspicious stuff and BS lies a cover and I'm the option in case this new guy don't work out?

I am 2 days in NC and she keeps texting me again but every time I would call to hangout like she wants, she's busy (yes, I get it).

And she won't talk at night or in morning, only while she's out.. hmmmmm

From this vantage point,it would seem that she has found someone to replace you BUT she is not willing to let you go completely in case the new guy doesn't work out.

As far as what friends are telling you,I would pay that very little attention.

I would continue with NC.That means NO contact,not sometimes.If its going to help you heal and move on,you need to do it for the right reasons and stick to it.

Oh man, this sounds like a horrible relationship. You got to get out of this asap. You not only have to do NC, but you have to block her out of your life. I can't even see her being a good friend in the future.

As harsh as it sounds, she keeps too many secrets. She's accusing you of things that she's been doing herself.

No more wanting to see her. You are too much of a pushover. You let her walk all over you and she's still dragging you along now. Sorry to sound so harsh again.

You should be done with this relationship. Time to move on with your life and find someone who respects you.

I glanced through your post and these things jumped out at me.

You're not even suspect of cheating: you're 22 and have been with three girls. This isn't a problem, but most girls would be thrilled to find someone like you.
You sacrificed your social life
You sacrificed a hobby for her. You gave up music? That hurts to read, I gig every weekend.
She calls you a stalker

You'll never be good enough for her because all that crap she's spewing is what she really thinks of herself; she's projecting her own problems on to you.

She's intentionally mistreating you. Cut her off, don't ask about her, don't call her, don't pick up the phone, avoid her, ignore her, and if she hates it... good!

It seems you've already caught her in a lie so she probably has more skeletons in the closet that would knock you on your a$$. No good will come out of you knowing the truth, it'll only hurt you.

Thank u! Yeah its really bugging me if she is actually sleeping with this new guy. I can't fathom since he's 11 years older and with a kid.

I don't see why she would leave her family, school, and life behind to go and cheat on me with someone with baggage she just met.

I glanced through your post and these things jumped out at me.

You're not even suspect of cheating: you're 22 and have been with three girls. This isn't a problem, but most girls would be thrilled to find someone like you.
You sacrificed your social life
You sacrificed a hobby for her. You gave up music? That hurts to read, I gig every weekend.
She calls you a stalker

You'll never be good enough for her because all that crap she's spewing is what she really thinks of herself; she's projecting her own problems on to you.

She's intentionally mistreating you. Cut her off, don't ask about her, don't call her, don't pick up the phone, avoid her, ignore her, and if she hates it... good!

It seems you've already caught her in a lie so she probably has more skeletons in the closet that would knock you on your a$$. No good will come out of you knowing the truth, it'll only hurt you.

THIS... is what I will be coming back to when I have my weak moments. Thank you so much!

Sadly, I caved in to all her texts. She owes me over $500 for her school and other bills and I KNOW I need to cut my losses, but being a young student that money matters. I told her about bills so we'll see.

And I ended it with: "if you want any kind of relationship with me you need to show me"

Hi Stillfading,

Everyone is right. You need to let her go for good. You are too good of a guy to be treated this way. You can and will do so much better.

There's no way your ex (btw her "needing space" is crap... she dumped you but didn't have enough decency to say it) is living with some guy and is NOT sleeping with him.

She talks to you when he is not around cause she is unsure it will work out with him.

As everyone said stop all contact with her and move on.

thank u! yeah its really bugging me if she is actually sleeping with this new guy. i can't fathom since he's 11 years older and with a kid.

i dont see why she would leave her family, school, and life behind to go and cheat on me with someone with baggage she just met.

Some people don't appreciate being treated well.
I see many young girls who go for the tough guy or the guy that seems like he could care less about you. Its an indication of immaturity.
There is some truth to the saying*nice guys finish last*.
The good thing about sayings is that there are exceptions and there is a girl out there who will appreciate you.
Take a break from women for a time and then when you do resume dating,remember to protect yourself emotionally.

I wish agrees: What's up with that? Are nice guys too weak?
I think many young girls ,and I mean girls that are immature are attracted to the thrill of the bad boy.Maybe they like the challenge of thinking they can change someone.
I have two sons,one is the sweetest guy who would do just about anything for a girl and he is always meeting girls who use him.The other,still a sweetie but is rather nonchalant has girls chasing after him.
Go figure ?

I don't mean to bogart this thread but there is an interesting article entitled *why nice guys finish last*.I think it is worth reading.
Why Nice Guys Finish Last - ABC News (http://i.abcnews.com/Health/Story?id=5197531&page=1)

You lose yourself in this girl because you did everything she demanding you too in a flash. She most likely thought of you as a puppet than a boyfriend. You gave up music, friends, etc. Don't you know when you make someone your everything, when they leave you have nothing.

Don't repeat that same mistake again in the future. Don't let your feelings over ride your common sense. Be aware of everything and if something doesn't makes sense than more than likely it's a lie.

Go back to NC and don't talk to this girl again--even if she contact you. No more games!

Thanks all. I got the phone bill and wow... trip to cali... was with this guy. Last Friday she blew me off and went with this guy... we separated accounts and I went to login and surprise... she's on his account now. Ugh.

It finally hit me right now. :(

THIS.... is what i will be coming back to when i have my weak moments. thank you so much!

sadly, i caved in to all her texts. she owes me over $500 for her school and other bills and I KNOW i need to cut my losses, but being a young student that money matters. I told her about bills so we'll see.

and i ended it with: "if you want any kind of relationship with me you need to show me"

Why would you want to get back with her.She cheated on you.Get your money from her if you can and let it be.You are better off without her.

Sorry for your loss. But you have to be happy you can get your life back, and not live a lie any more.

Forget the money, take the freedom. You have already spent too much time on a female that doesn't appreciate a good man, and was needy, selfish, and frustrating most of the time. This is a true blessing in disguise.

Thanks guys, almost done with day 1 of NC again.

Rough night last night, but looking forward to staying strong this time! It's time I really do this for myself as you guys have all said

thanks guys, almost done with day 1 of NC again.

rough night last night, but looking forward to staying strong this time! it's time i really do this for myself as you guys have all said

Yah man sounds horrible. Sometimes we just got to be strong for ourselves. Stay in NC, ill be doing NC with you. Its been hell but I'm on my 3rd week of NC. She left me for another guy too and its been really hard. But keep up with NC its for the best. She was my first love and I'm 20, so its extra hard. Anyway yah whenever they leave us for someone else I don't think we can be with them ever again. That's what I've learned maybe its just me.

Yeah bro I'm 22 so we are pretty close emotionally most likely. I will get to your 3 weeks and beyond! These girls really messed up

yeah bro i'm 22 so we are pretty close emotionally most likely. i will get to your 3 weeks and beyond! these girls really messed up

So how's it going buddy? How do you feel about everything?

THIS.... is what i will be coming back to when i have my weak moments. thank you so much!

sadly, i caved in to all her texts. she owes me over $500 for her school and other bills and I KNOW i need to cut my losses, but being a young student that money matters. I told her about bills so we'll see.

and i ended it with: "if you want any kind of relationship with me you need to show me"
No problem dude.

Ooo... the last quote hurts to read. She ate all that up, you gave her power to make the ultimate decision, she'll definitely try some manipulation tactics, don't let her. You need to take that power back through NC which I see you've begun. Stick to your guns.

And the reality of it all, like Dare81 said, you are better off without her. She's got a lot she needs to sort out on her own, and from her recent actions, it doesn't look like that'll be happening anytime soon.

^^thank u

day 1 of NC is complete!

-multiple texts to me (meaningless)
-calls from her work number
-voicemail (I didn't and won't check.. deleted!)

did I ever mention she still hasn't broken it off with me and still denies the affair?

day 2!

Let me give you advice from years of a bad relationship. You don't sacrifice your friends because when she complains she is testing you. When you gave up your friends, she LOST ALL RESPECT for you. Grow a spine. You need to learn to get angry with girls without losing your temper. When a girl plays games, you need to avoid them to show them their childsih games won't be tolerated (earning you respect). You also have to realize that girls can be really evil, selfish, and mean. I know its hard, but the relationship was over a long time ago, thus she found someone else WHILE YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF HER. She wouldn't sleep with you because she was sleeping with someone else. When a girl picks fights, she has lost respect for you. The key is back off and get angry but not lose your temper. I spent years with a girl who did the same thing. I am begging you to listen because this girl will ruin yourself esteem and make it hard for you to find a real girl. Seriously think about a restraining order. Do you want HIS LEFTOVERS?

Keep it up brother. Non contact for life. You will find she will say stuff just to keep your hooked!! My ex, ten years later, is still trying to mess with me! There is a point of no return, and you have reached it. THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS. Her nice identical twin is out there! LOOK FOR HER. Be a man, don't tolerate stupid girl games! FIGHT ON BROTHER.

GET OUT
GET OUT
GET OUT

She sounds like a id get rid of her straight away she's so using you for when she feels lonely :( sorry mate

You're right, there definitely are a lot of parallels between your situation and mine. You have my sympathy man, I know how tough it is.

I disagree with you on one point, though... that they just said these things to justify things they'll always regret. With mine, I'm not convinced she even regretted it on more than a superficial level. One more reason to be glad I'm not with her anymore, I suppose. Sure hope our exes decide to grow up, though, it can't be fun going through life not truly caring about any one person for very long.

Little update. Guys I am on day 7 of NC!! I knew she was using me all along and now I just feel sad that she is going to probably always be this way. I want her to become a better person and be truly happy inside. The more people I talk to that knew her before me (that I knew mutually) say she was a cheat and would jump around once she got bored or too deep in a relationship (though not a slut.. who knows or cares). That she couldn't stay committed even though she always told me that's what she wanted.

But its getting harder! Easter was hard and every morning I wake up and think its another day without the woman I thought I would be with forever. GRRRRRR

She has tried to contact me every single day. Wished me happy easter. I have not budged. NC with her, her mom, and anybody who she may know. I want her so bad but I know it's because I'm only holding onto the good times that are now past.

She still won't admit to cheating, though she admitted to having a different past than what she told me. She also found out I have been talking to girls, mainly an ex I dated 3 years ago whom I never had or currently have NO feelings for! She texted me a bunch of hateful things today but I ignored it. Even put her name as "rosie o'donnell" in my phone lol.

Not looking for anyone else, she still hasn't broken up with me, but like I told her when she moved out 2 weeks ago "this feels like a break up, not a break for space" so in my mind we have been broken up for 2 weeks nad I think the silence speaks volumes.

left you something on the other thread of mine you commented bro check it out =P

Well since not many people come back for updates, I have hope for all those in my place.

She finally admitted to seeing this guy. I went 2 weeks of NC and finally got sick of all the BS and started replying to her texts.

MAN DO I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER! The hope is gone and while it freaking sucks but at least I know how low of a reason she is and can move on. Never thought I'd say, but breaking NC really helped me. BUT BUT BUT allowing enough time to pass with NC is what did it. It allowed her time for her emotions to run wild.

Now she is trying to get me to forgive her, blah blah blah. Way too much than just simply cheating.

So my friends, life gets better. Just stay busy and keep positive! And in your weak moments just remember everything they did to you to ruin what a wonderful relationship you did and how easily they were willing to throw it out the window! F that! Move on!

Just curious, why are you still talking to her?

I did 2 weeks of NC but she kept trying to get a hold of me. I finally gave in and got the truth out of her.

I feel so much better and while I miss her, having her tell me everything was very relieving.

I am no longer talking to her and even changed my number so stop her from doing so.

There is hope!