I met this girl at the gym I go to (she actually approached me). We arranged to meet again at the gym on Thursday, which was today. Ever thing went great, we worked out, flirted and what not. I got her number as we were leaving so I got the impression that I'm in a good position. I just want to get some others opinions, when do you think I should call her? I wanted to wait a day, which works out for me since I am busy Friday, and call her Saturday. And when I call her, say Saturday afternoon, could I ask her when she is free next and go from there?

Sounds like a plan.

You can call whenever you want but whatever you do don't think the worst if she doesn't answer.

When I met my fiancé, like this girl, I approach him. We went out the following day and since we got along so well I called him later on in the night after our date that same night, which was on a Wednesday. We made plans for that weekend and been together ever since, and that was over two years ago.

The point is, there is no rules. So you do what you see best.

Best of luck!

Call her Saturday. That's perfect timing.

Thanks for your input. I called earlier today and there was no answer, so I figured I would try a little later or do you texting her be appropriate since she doensnt know my number yet?

If you text her, there is nothing wrong with it, just make sure to sign it with your name/nick so she knows it is you.
However, in the future, I would suggest calling at least one day in advance so it is not last minute is always a good idea!
Good Luck!

Do you know if she has caller id? But since she doesn't have your number she doesn't know it's you? Can you leave a voicemail? Texting is good too.

Sounds like you don't want to rush anything, so if you get to talk to her (or text to ask), maybe meet up with her a few more times at the gym to get to know her better.

There's no rule when it comes to calling. A lot of people think that they have to wait a day or two, not seem anxious, but to me, that's a really bad way of starting anything.

Be yourself, follow your gut. If you like this girl and she likes you, then forget the "rules" to dating, just go with your gut.

Have fun, that's what dating is supposed to be about.

:)

Thanks. Well it turned out that she called back and we went out and had a great time, or that's at least how it seemed. Thanks for the advice

I'm glad you had fun, that's what dating is supposed to be, fun! :)

Just be yourself, I know it sounds cliché, but it really is the best way to go if you want something real.

Good luck, have fun, keep us posted. :)

Congratulations on your success, and good luck to you!

Threads merged

Ok so I have been dating this girl for about a month and a half and things are great, but the other day, as we were talking, she said oh just to let you know I'm going out to have a drink with my exboyfriend tomorrow night (mind you I cannot go out yet because I have a couple more weeks until I turn 21). Now I know its not her previous boyfriend and its been, I think 2 or 3 years since they dated, and that she is going out with a couple other people, but do I have reason to be a little irritated? Should I be concerned?

Your just dating, whether its going well, or not.

Is there an official boyfriend/girlfriend thing, in place, that defines the relationship, and you both agree on??

If not, she is free to do as she pleases, as are you. That includes dating others.

Ask her more about her friendsheip with him. The good thing is she told you, she is being honest, and tell her how you feel about it. Its okay to have a little jealousy, but not to the point where you do not trust her. What is your status?

Well we just recently decided to be officially boyfriend/girlfriend. And I asked her if she had any feelings for him. She said no they were just friends and that it would be wrong if she did have feelings for him. I don't know maybe it is me just being a little jealous

Yes, I think your being a little jealous but you gota trust her. I am friends with a couple of my exes and that's all. No lines have ever been crossed.

Good for you. Keep communicating!

Ok so I have been dating this girl for about a month and a half

That pretty fast to be official as your still learning about each other, and getting to know if your comfortable and if they are trustworthy or not.


Well we just recently decided to be officially boyfriend/girlfriend.

But you haven't been together long enough to define the boundaries of good behavior, within this relationship.

Besides having an official status, what are your, and her, expectations? See there is much to still learn and work on.



Should I be concerned


Only if you make her your whole reason for living, and have nothing else in your life other than her.

That dependency, and very unrealistic.

She is a stranger your getting to know, take it slow, and pay attention.

Threads merge yet again, when does it end!!!

So my girfriend for about 2 months now is telling me so many things that I am so confused I don't know what to do anymore. She told me that she wants to take a few steps back because we moved into things a little too fast. I asked her what she wants me to do and why she is feeling this way and she told me that she needed more time to heal from her pervious relationship and needed more time to heal so she could offer her full self to me and be a better girlfriend. And I asked her if she was having thoughts of wanting to be with her ex and she told me she could never see herself with him again, that she didn't want to be with him, and that she wanted to be with me, but that we should just not be together quit so much so she has time to clear her head. Im just very confused because just 2 days before this we were perfect together and have been having a great time. Then to makes thing even more confusing she told me she wants to hang out ( on a specific day, mind you this was right after the conversation of her telling me she wanted to take a few steps back). Any thoughts on what I should do or what she is going on with her?

Sounds like she really does want to take some time to heal from her past,And wants to hang out.you'r job is to find a way to help her do both.maybe hang out a little then not in a saracastic way but tell her I'm going to keep this brief so you can have the time you need.just make sure your not bieng too clingy right now while she is going through this.

Sounds like she is confused, and needs time to heal and sees you as a good future boyfriend, and great current friend. So be there for her while she heals and gets herself together. Be her shoulder and best friend, and that will show her that you are serious and want to be with her, and can be a good boyfriend and friend.

How long ago was her breakup?

She's just realizing that you're a rebound. Give her time and space to figure out her confusion before you move forward.

So I mean should I initiate conversation by texts or calls or just wait for her to initiate things? I haven't talked to her all day today, which is hard enough because now I've developed these feelings for her and have trouble not thinking about her and what makes me more confused is that she was the one that approached me and has been eager in being together and spending a lot of time together

I would text a small message at the end of the day a good night text or thinking of you.but while your going through this you need to take this time to keep yourself busy.dude it's the old saying and I can't believe I'm using it but if you love someone set them free if they come back it was meant to be.we don't know if she's breaking up in a nice way or whatever she just plainly said I need some space,give it to her

Right, that's the what I was planning on doing. I don't know if it's a bad thing, but during the conversation I told her I wasn't going to be waiting around forever and that I was going to miss her. She told me she wasn't going any where and that I'm everything she wants in a boyfriend I just don't know. I figure she will come after me if she is being honest with everything she is telling me.

Just tell her how you feel (i.e. how much you care about her and that you want a relationship with her) and that you would give her whatever time and space she needs to figure things out.

Then she will look for you when she's ready.

She told me she wasnt going any where and that im everything she wants in a boyfriend

Well there you go you shouldn't have anything to worry about

After reading your whole story, maybe you have moved to fast, and are smothering her. I would try backing off, and balancing your life with other things besides her. My gosh man, you can't be with someone every second, or stop the rest of your life to be with her.

Too much, to fast, crash and burn. Don't take the fun out of it by being to needy.

Its only been two months.

Call her Saturday morning. Not too early. Like 11, or maybe even 12. Have a good chat and maybe a spur of the moment idea of a date for the evening may arise? :)