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Triund
Mar 31, 2009, 08:57 AM
I am on a crossroad and need help. I have been dating a lady for a few years. She has a baggage yet I love her and want to marry and settle down with her. Our wavelengths match pretty well. However, she is not going to give me a child of my own and I want a baby, she is does not believes in Lord Jesus though she prays to God, marrying her, would save me from from going under more debt, she has good and steady job. I know the Scripture tells us to yoke with believers only. On the other hand, I can marry another lady, who has no baggage, she can give me a child, I do not know her well yet, I would be under debt on marrying her for sure, she would be coming from another country, hence she would have to struggle hard to get a stable job which she would not have for few years, she believes in Lord Jesus.

I have very strong faith on Lord Jesus. I am very thankful to HIM for all the blessings HE has given me and for all the care HE takes of me. HE is on te driving seat of my life. I had been praying for my marriage. Even if I do not get married, HE is for sure going to use me for some of HIS purpose. In last few months to seek a direction, I had been taking something happening as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on my marriage. And at three instances, those signs told me to marry the non-believer.

How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

Wondergirl
Mar 31, 2009, 09:02 AM
And at three instances, those signs told me to marry the non-believer. How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?
The Lord's approval? Or is it more that the unbeliever will save you financially?

Maybe there's a third possibility out there.

Alty
Mar 31, 2009, 09:11 AM
How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?

That's up to you and your faith. Everyone's beliefs are different. Some people believe in signs, others don't.

The fact that you are thinking of marrying a women you hardly know because she can give you everything you want, except financial security, is sad.

Do you really think God would want you to marry someone based just on religion and your needs and wants?

What about love? What about commitment?

To me, marrying someone just because they can give you what you want, even though you don't love them, is the worst sin you could commit against God.

That's my take on this, but the choice is yours.

Good luck.

450donn
Mar 31, 2009, 09:20 AM
You have said nothing about friendship. All you can talk about is children? That to me is very sad. When the children are all raised and living lives of their own, what will you have? Loneliness? Sadness? Stay single and work on yourself first, then start working on relationships with people who can/will fulfill you as a person of God.

Wondergirl
Mar 31, 2009, 09:22 AM
You have said nothing about friendship. All you can talk about is children? that to me is very sad. When the children are all raised and living lives of their own, what will you have? Loneliness? Sadness? Stay single and work on your self first, then start working on relationships with people who can/will fulfill you as a person of God.
Children and money.

Triund
Mar 31, 2009, 10:48 AM
The Lord's approval? Or is it more that the unbeliever will save you financially?

Maybe there's a third possibility out there.

Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m. she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is going to happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.

Wondergirl
Mar 31, 2009, 12:48 PM
Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m., she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is gonna happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.
That has nothing to do with anything, her losing her money. If we don't know what the future holds, marry the Christian woman.

Alty
Mar 31, 2009, 02:26 PM
Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m., she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is gonna happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny. We humans can not see beyond our nose. Only HE draws and sees the whole picture of our lives.

So you only really want her for the money, that's it? If she lost her money then you wouldn't even consider her?

Wow, tell her this, I'm sure she'll make the decision for you.

Triund
Mar 31, 2009, 04:58 PM
So you only really want her for the money, that's it? If she lost her money then you wouldn't even consider her?

Wow, tell her this, I'm sure she'll make the decision for you.

Hey... did I sound like that I want to marry her for money? If that's the case, I would had been married to her by now and would never had reached at this crossroad.

Alty
Mar 31, 2009, 06:34 PM
Yes, it sounds like you want her for her money.


However, she is not going to give me a child of my own and I want a baby, she is does not believes in Lord Jesus though she prays to God, marrying her, would save me from from going under more debt, she has good and steady job


I would be under debt on marrying her for sure, she would be coming from another country


Today on Mar 31, 2009, at 1:35 p.m. she can give me financial stability, but I do not know what is going to happen at 2:00 p.m today, or next month, or after a year and may be she won't be in a position to make any single penny

Fr_Chuck
Mar 31, 2009, 06:45 PM
Yes, if she was poor I doubt you would even give her another thought, sorry but those are your own writings,
The importance of money and a child, and not a word about love, or feelings.
Really, unless this is an arranged marriage in a culture that does not marry for love, both people don't seem like the right choice.

JoeCanada76
Mar 31, 2009, 06:49 PM
You need to marry somebody because you love them, and want to be their life partner through good times and bad times. You say that Jesus the lord guides you but, I do not see that right now.
Of course it is good that you get others views here and maybe give you a wake up call that you need.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 31, 2009, 06:56 PM
And of course I will add, if and when you do marry, you are honest as to the reason, esp to yourself.

It sounds like you are trying to justify the one lady you don't really want to marry, 1. you should not be at a point with two, this is not a dating TV show, if you were seroius enough with one, there would not be a second person as even a maybe.

Alty
Mar 31, 2009, 08:40 PM
I agree Chuck and Joe.

Money is never a good reason to consider marrying someone. What happens if she loses her job? Is she out of the running to be your wife then?

Does she know that you are considering someone else? Does she know she's only being considered because she has a job? Does the other lady know that you are currently in a relationship with someone else?

You're fooling yourself. God can't make this decision for you, it's on your plate.

arcura
Mar 31, 2009, 10:45 PM
Triund,
You shou;d be mote oncwenws about what you can give in a marriage moy what you can get.
Mary for true love. Jesus gave His life for true love.
When you merry you should be willing and read to give your all to that union and the woman should be readty yp give her all.
Children should come from such a union and be raised in a Christian environment of love,
It appears to me that you are not ready to mary either one of the ladies you mentioned.
When you find a woman to who you love so much that you are ready and willing to give her your all then you will be ready to become ONE with her.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)
.

Triund
Apr 1, 2009, 06:47 AM
The importance of money and a child, and not a word about love, or feelings.
Really, unless this is an arranged marriage in a culture that does not marry for love, both people don't seem like the right choice.

You are right. It is the cultural thing that other lady has come up on the scene. Nobody from my side is saying yes for the first one. I love her for the kind of person she is, the qualities she has.and my love for her is not for money for sure. I had a beautiful escape route to walk away from her after enjoying her for couple of years and I would not had been talking to you folks.

artlady
Apr 1, 2009, 06:58 AM
How wrong or right is it to take something as a sign of Lord Jesus' approval on crucial decisions in life?
My religion does not approve of signs or omens as they are considered superstition. Yours may be different.

she can give me a child, I do not know her well yet, There are never any guarantees that she will be able to give you a child.She could be infertile for all you know.


she would be coming from another country, hence she would have to struggle hard to get a stable job which she would not have for few years, she believes in Lord Jesus.
I am assuming you met on the internet and she may be a believer but she also may be a woman who is looking for a man to help her get out of her country and will say anything to get out.Including a false belief in Jesus. There are many scammers out there so you should be warned.

Triund
Apr 1, 2009, 07:07 AM
Triund,
You shou;d be mote oncwenws about what you can give in a marriage moy what you can get.
Mary for true love. Jesus gave His life for true love.
When you merry you should be willing and read to give your all to that union and the woman should be readty yp give her all.
Children should come from such a union and be raised in a Christian environment of love,
It appears to me that you are not ready to mary either one of the ladies you mentioned.
When you find a woman to who you love so much that you are ready and willing to give her your all then you will be ready to become ONE with her.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)
.

Thanks friend, for this suggetions and advice. I am sorry if I could not make myself clear enough in my earlier writings. Again I would say that job and money is not the base of my liking or love for her. Could someone please give me some suggetions on how to bring a non-believer to Lord Jesus? I have been praying for her and telling her about my experiences and blessings with her. I have been showing her the Christian programs on TV and online sermons by the pastors and sharing stories of people's faith on Lord Jesus with her hoping that she would recognize the love of God for her.

Triund
Apr 1, 2009, 07:15 AM
I agree Chuck and Joe.

Money is never a good reason to consider marrying someone. What happens if she loses her job? Is she out of the running to be your wife then?

Does she know that you are considering someone else? Does she know she's only being considered because she has a job? Does the other lady know that you are currently in a relationship with someone else?

You're fooling yourself. God can't make this decision for you, it's on your plate.

I do not hid things from her whether it is a brilliant thing I did or the most stupidiest thing I said or did. She knows about the other lady.

Triund
Apr 1, 2009, 07:46 AM
My religion does not approve of signs or omens as they are considered superstition. Yours may be different.
There are never any guarantees that she will be able to give you a child.She could be infertile for all you know.

I am assuming you met on the internet and she may be a believer but she also may be a woman who is looking for a man to help her get out of her country and will say anything to get out.Including a false belief in Jesus. There are many scammers out there so you should be warned.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

arcura
Apr 1, 2009, 06:48 PM
Triund,
As for leading the lady to Jesus you are already doing thing that help
Prayer to the Holy Spirit will help.
One on the most influential things a Christian can do for others is setting a good Christian example.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

Triund
Apr 1, 2009, 07:40 PM
Triund,
As for leading the lady to Jesus you are already doing thing that help
Prayer to the Holy Spirit will help.

Thanks Fred. It feel nice that I could put my question here and people gave their opinions and helped me. I respect everyone and their thoughts. I am leaving everything now in Lord Jesus' hands. Where ever HE takes me, I will go. HE had delivered me from difficult situations earlier and HE will do this time again. Thanks Fred. God bless you.

arcura
Apr 1, 2009, 09:07 PM
Triund,
As the old saying goes, do the best you can then "LET GO AND LET GOD"
Fred

adam7gur
Apr 3, 2009, 11:18 PM
Triund
Genesis 24:1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:

24:3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

24:5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land whence thou camest?

24:6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.

24:7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.

24:8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.

24:9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.

24:10 And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.

24:11 And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.

24:12 And he said O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and show kindness unto my master Abraham.

24:13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

24:14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast showed kindness unto my master.

24:15 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.

24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.

24:17 And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.

24:18 And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.

24:19 And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.

24:20 And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.

24:21 And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.

24:22 And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;

24:23 And said, Whose daughter art thou? Tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in?

24:24 And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor.

24:25 She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.

24:26 And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD.

24:27 And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren.

24:28 And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother's house these things.

24:29 And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.

24:30 And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well.

24:31 And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? For I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.

24:32 And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that were with him.

24:33 And there was set meat before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on.

24:34 And he said, I am Abraham's servant.

24:35 And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.

24:36 And Sarah my master's wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath.

24:37 And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:

24:38 But thou shalt go unto my father's house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son.

24:39 And I said unto my master, Peradventure the woman will not follow me.

24:40 And he said unto me, The LORD, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father's house:

24:41 Then shalt thou be clear from this my oath, when thou comest to my kindred; and if they give not thee one, thou shalt be clear from my oath.

24:42 And I came this day unto the well, and said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go:

24:43 Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink;

24:44 And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the LORD hath appointed out for my master's son.

24:45 And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water: and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee.

24:46 And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also.

24:47 And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter art thou? And she said, the daughter of Bethuel, Nahor's son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands.

24:48 And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter unto his son.

24:49 And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.

24:50 Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.

24:51 Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.

24:52 And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth.

24:53 And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things.

24:54 And they did eat and drink, he and the men that were with him, and tarried all night; and they rose up in the morning, and he said, Send me away unto my master.

24:55 And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide with us a few days, at the least ten; after that she shall go.

24:56 And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the LORD hath prospered my way; send me away that I may go to my master.

24:57 And they said, We will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth.

24:58 And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.

24:59 And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham's servant, and his men.

24:60 And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.

24:61 And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way.

24:62 And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country.

24:63 And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.

24:64 And Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

24:65 For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.

24:66 And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done.

24:67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.

Trust The Word !

arcura
Apr 3, 2009, 11:31 PM
adam7gur,
Bother Adam.
Very well done. Your point is well made.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

adam7gur
Apr 3, 2009, 11:34 PM
Thank you brother Fred!
I missed you!

arcura
Apr 3, 2009, 11:42 PM
Adam,
I miss you too.
Please post here more often.
Fred

Triund
Apr 4, 2009, 10:49 PM
Thank you Friends. God bless you all. Could I request you all to remember me in your prayers, please, so that I could walk through this time of uncertainty and come out on the other side victoriously, and by which God would be happy to have me as HIS child. I definitely need your prayers. Also I am seeking Lord Jesus to use me for some of HIS work. Pray for that too, please, so that HE could tell me what HE wants me to accomplish on this earth.

adam7gur
Apr 4, 2009, 10:53 PM
At your service my brother!

arcura
Apr 4, 2009, 11:13 PM
Triund,
I am happy to oblige you with my prayers and that you will be a good servant of our Lord.
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit I so pray.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

adam7gur
Apr 5, 2009, 05:25 AM
Triund!
You can start by asking the Lord to give you a name, a new name in Christ that will indicate God's will . Maybe this sounds strange but it works!

Triund
Apr 5, 2009, 03:09 PM
Thanks to you all, dear friends. God bless you always !!

arcura
Apr 5, 2009, 06:43 PM
adam7gur,
That's a very good suggestion.
Fred

Triund
Apr 6, 2009, 06:57 AM
Friends,
I need more assistance to understand how a name change would help me to do things for HIM. I know Abram got his name changed to Abraham and Sara to Sarah. But it was God who gave them these names. I am not aware if they ever asked HIM for new names. Yet Moses and Elijah both, who were never died physically, but taken up into the heaven, did not get new names.

1081Cloudy
Apr 6, 2009, 07:05 AM
I guess it depends on How much you Love God, and how much you want God's approval.

arcura
Apr 6, 2009, 06:32 PM
Triund,
Jesus also changed the names of some of his apostles.
He had His reasons for doing so as mentioned in holy Scripture.
Note that for most of them he did not change their names.
If God has a reason to change your name it will happen.
So don't worry about it is my advice.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

adam7gur
Apr 7, 2009, 04:30 AM
Triund!
Fred's advice is a good one.Don't push it, just let it happen.Go to prayer and ask.Do it with faith and you shall be heard.God does change our names , but that is not a must!It is just one of His ways to make us understand His will!That of course is not the only way.At this moment I think He is glad that one more child of His, is by His side like a soldier waiting for orders ! He will turn his eyes on you and call you.Wait...

Triund
Apr 7, 2009, 08:47 AM
Thank you very much Friends. I am waiting for HIS orders. I feel HE has started working on me. Today I called my Mom and asked her to pray to God for me.

I will keep you updated.

arcura
Apr 7, 2009, 07:14 PM
Triund,
Thanks.
Please do keep us informed.
Fred

raptureready
Apr 12, 2009, 06:14 PM
God already told what not to do... don't be unequally yoked with others... As far as the rest... get a better job... get yourself out of debt... And God does not work in signs like that... you have another choice wait till the right one comes and you won't have all these questions. Truly you are not ready to marry.

arcura
Apr 12, 2009, 09:35 PM
raptureready,
Yes. That is good information.
I also think it is not the right time to marry in this case,
Fred

Triund
Apr 15, 2009, 09:49 AM
Raptureready,

Thanks for the advice. I am about to step into the 4th decade of my life. I think time is running out for me. However, I leave everything in HIS hands and praying over it. And my faith is strong. I think, I am in this mess because I "over-thought" on this issue. On the other hand, saying good-bye to someone you love so dearly, it pretty hard. I fail to understand how do people chop down a lush green tree.

arcura
Apr 15, 2009, 06:33 PM
Triund,
Good luck to you with your future.
Peace and kindness,
Fred