My husband's daughter has never followed the visitation schedule ordered by the court. Her mother does not require her to do so either. She is now 16 , but this has gone on for 3 yrs. My husband has joint custody and should be seeing his daughter every other weekend and 1 evening a week. He has seen her about 10hrs total since January 1st. She says she is always to busy or sick. My husband pays quite a lot of child support and maintenace every month. Can child support be reduced to correlate with the amount of time the child spends? They have a good relationship, but she just says she is "too busy" and her mother says she can't force her.

Simple answer? No.

visitation and support are not connected in any way.

And yes, her mother CAN and is required by law to force her. If your husband were to go to court, the mother could be held in contempt and face serious charges.

No, but the child support could be increased, since the benefit of joint custody is not being utilized and the child is in her mother's primary care.

You can enforce the current court order by taking the mother back to court and holding her in contempt for not enforcing the joint custody parenting time.

Can child support be reduced to correlate with the amount of time the child spends?

Absolutely not. Child support and visitation are totally separate. A parent can have no visitation rights at all and still be required to pay support.


They have a good relationship, but she just says she is "too busy" and her mother says she can't force her.

While her mother can't force her, a court can. But I would not recommend it. That might put a damper in their "good relationship".

What I would do is have him approach the mother and daughter together and explain to them that he understands that a 16 yr old would rather spend more time with friends then her parents. So that every other weekend and one night a week would interfere with her busy schedule. So while he is willing to forego a regular scheduled visitation he would like to see more of her. Maybe one of two evenings a month scheduled in advance and more time on the phone or frequent e-mails to keep up with her life. Showing that he is interested in her life will go a long way.

I also wonder if he is aware you are posting this question. I suspect that maybe you have a problem with his paying support, more than he does.

Thanks for the replies so far. My husband has been at this for three years and has spent thousands on legal fees. He just wants his daughter to follow the visitation schedule. He has been trying to have her mother held in contempt but she always seems to just drag out the court dates and come up with ridiculous reasons vistation can't be followed such as too much homework, too busy with piano, school activities etc... We are getting finacially tapped out.

Can child support be reduced to correlate with the amount of time the child spends?

Yes, absolutely IF you live in a state that factors in timeshare in calculating support. But in your situation, CS would likely increase because the child is spending less time with the dad. But I think your question has caused some confusion: if you were asking, can CS be reduced as a penalty for the mom not following the custody/visitation orders the answer is NO. That's not the way it works.

They have a good relationship, but she just says she is "too busy" and her mother says she can't force her.

The order is what it is. Enforcement is difficult with older teens and it is unlikely the mom could be held in contempt for not "forcing" the child to visit. What's she suppose to do?

In response to Scott... my husband is aware of me doing this. He has asked me to help him contact attorneys to resolve this issue. I have NO PROBLEM with him paying child support. We have MANY phone messages form his ex saying that his daughter does not need to do visitation, yet she continues to seek higher amounts of child support.

Can child support be reduced to correlate with the amount of time the child spends?

Yes, absolutely IF you live in a state that factors in timeshare in calculating support. But in your situation, CS would likely increase because the child is spending less time with the dad.

They have a good relationship, but she just says she is "too busy" and her mother says she can't force her.

The order is what it is. Enforcement is difficult with older teens and it is unlikely the the mom could be held in contempt for not "forcing" the child to visit. What's she suppose to do?

Club her and toss her in the trunk. :)

I know that its hard to enforce, but it is the custodial parent's responsibility to do it anyway. Many states do not care about excuses - and they shouldn't. A parent's rights should not be subject to the whim of a child.

Club her and toss her in the trunk. :)

I know that its hard to enforce, but it is the custodial parent's responsibility to do it anyway. Many states do not care about excuses - and they shouldnt. A parent's rights should not be subject to the whim of a child.

I agree, but enforement is THE problem with older teens. I don't think anyone's got a really good answer of what to do in this situation. I recall hearing one of our judges not long ago scolding a mom in court one day when she popped off with that old excuse, 'But she doesn't want to visit her dad!" And his quick reply was, "Ma'am, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that they'd reach from the floor to the ceiling! "

Judges don't like it either but what do you do? You can't win a contempt that easy because inability to comply is a defense.

I agree, but enforement is THE problem with older teens. I don't think anyone's got a really good answer of what to do in this situation. I recall hearing one of our judges not long ago scolding a mom in court one day when she popped off with that old excuse, 'But she doesn't want to visit her dad!" And his quick reply was, "Ma'am, if I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that they'd reach from the floor to the ceiling!!"

Judges don't like it either but what do you do? You can't win a contempt that easy because inability to comply is a defense.

I maintain my 'club her and toss her in the trunk' stance. :)

Can child support be reduced to correlate with the amount of time the child spends?

Yes, absolutely IF you live in a state that factors in timeshare in calculating support.

That goes against what I have learned. I was under the impression that support cannot be tied to visitation, that they are considered separately? How many states calculate timeshare in?

But it does make sense that support could be tied to a split custody setup where the child spends a significant amount of time with the child. So in the OP's case, support would more likely to be increased.


As to forcing the teen to visit, I again recommend not doing so. It is more likely to cause resentment. Heck, when my daughter was in her teen years, she spent more time in her room then with us. So this is really typical of teens. I really think it would be better if the parents AND the child try to reach a compromise. One approach would be to tell the girl that she is causing both parents to waste money on legal fees by her actions and that the mother could wind up in jail for contempt of court. And that no one really wants that.

California is one of the states that tie the two together when calculating child support. The idea being lets say one parent ( the NCP ) gets up to 30 or 40 percent. The costs of keeping up that relationship are much greater on the NCP and much less on the CP then those at 10 or 15 percent.

And as a note Calif only counts overnights. So how many times you " visit " with your child has no bearing on custody / support its how many times they spend the night.