My daughter has her father's last name. As you have probably read in my previous posts, he has not been in my daughter's life since she was born and has never paid me child support or attempted to become drug free to be able to be a part of her life. She is now four years old. She will be starting school next year in the fall and I want to change her last name to mine. I asked her father about two years ago if he would sign the papers to change it and he laughed at me and told me that I knew better than to ask him that. Is there anyway that I can change her last name without having his signature? Thanks for your advice in advance.

Oh and I live in the state of Alabama. Thanks!

You can attempt to change it without his consent, but it will involve a court hearing and probably a good lawyer. Its possible though. But it also sounds like he is the kind of guy that would fight it just to be a jerk.

Have you tried having him put on child support? Money is usually a pretty motivating factor to losers.

What if I can't afford a lawyer? I work two jobs and go to school full-time just to support my daughter. I barely have enough money every month after I pay bills and get food. I have been trying to find pro bono lawyers in my area, but I am not having any luck. Any suggestions of where to look?

As for child support, when I lived in California, I got a restraining order against him when I went to a domestic violence shelter. In the restraining order I was granted custody and he had no visitations until he completed a 52 weeks battery program and a drug rehab. He was also ordered to pay $254 a month in child support through the restraining order. Now I live in a different state and the restraining order in non void and it is now expired because it was only granted for three years. I am now going through filing for custody of my daughter in the state that I am in. I have the paper work filled out, but I don't have the $300 it takes to file the paper work. I am waiting to save up enough money to do it. So that is where I am at on that.

It's a start. Have you spoken to the court about getting a waiver for the fee due to financial difficulty? Not having money is something the courts are usually sympathetic to, especially in support situations.

As for the pro bono - I don't really know, but honestly, for something like a name change, I wouldn't hold your breath. It is a relatively minor thing, particularly since you can call your child anything you want so long as you are not trying to commit fraud.

I have not asked the court for a waiver fee, but I have a form that deals with financial hardships that I have filled out and plan on turning in when I get the money to file the custody papers. I don't know if I will qualify though because it asks if I am on welfare or social security and I am not on any assistance. So, we will see what happens with that.

My main reason for wanting to change her last name is because when she starts school I have to register her with the last name on her birth certificate. At her daycare they call her my last name because they know my situation. I just don't want her to be confused when she starts school.

Thanks for all of your advice.

Have you spoken to the school? Legally a person can use any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. While you may have to register her using the birth certificate, the school may understand the same way the day care does and teachers will use the name she is used to for anything but specifically legal matters.

I actually have not talked to the school yet. I am not exactly what school she will be attending yet because she isn't supposed to go for at least a year and I haven't looked into it yet. I will start on that today. I will look into it. I didn't even think that it was possible to do that.

Do you not know because you plan on sending her to private school? If that's the case, since you are paying the tuition, I'm sure they will accommodate you.

However, if she will be going to public school and you just aren't sure what school district you are in, then I would go to the Board of Ed, they can tell the school how to handle it.

No, I am not going to be sending her to a private school, I don't have the money to do that. I will go to the Board of Ed and find out what zone we are in. Thank you for the information.

When you go to the Board, talk to someone in admissions about your situation. It would be better if the board told the school to accommodate you then asking the school directly.

Okay, I will do that. Thank you very much.

I have another question. When she turns 18 can she legally change her last name to mine if she wants to?

Okay, I will do that. Thank you very much.

I have another question. When she turns 18 can she legally change her last name to mine if she wants to?

Absolutely. Once she is 18 she can do anything she wants

Yes shge can, but it will still mean going to court to make the legal name change. However she will not need anyone's permission to do so.

Okay, cool. Thanks a lot for all of your help.