Back in October I had to take in my mom's 7yr old American Toy Terrier. He had the run of the house and slept on my mom's lap at night.(In a lift chair because she has Parkinson's disease). He also got into the habit of going to the bathroom in the house because my mom couldn't get him out fast enough.

Since coming to live with me I have to keep him confined during the day (on a leash in the kitchen) because he marks his territory and has bitten 2 of my kids when he has been surprised. I do not want to give him up because I take him to the nursing home to see my mom. He is the bright spot in her life.

When I crate him at night he whines yips and barks. I have tried several different ways and after 2-3 weeks of things going fine he will start the whining allover again. I don't want to hit him and hurt him so I have used a fly swatter to smack him and say "no". It worked last time but now he is starting again. I am now thinking about sedatives. My family needs sleep!

First, he misses his owner (your mother).

Second, it sounds like he's tied in the kitchen all day and kenneled all night. Is he getting exercise, time outside?

I have also never hit a dog - with my hand or with an object. I find this rather shocking, quite frankly.

It's a bit unfair to expect a dog that has spent its entire life sleeping in the house with a human companion to then be locked up in a crate. He's sad and wants to get out and be with someone. You may be able to train him eventually but it will take a while. Do not give sedatives to an old dog.

I am trying the best I can to give to give my mom's dog a good home. We are working on training him. However I cannot let him mark his territory all over my house like he was allowed to do while my mom was sick. I also cannot let him bite the children I watch which has happened twice. I also understand he misses my mother! I have started using water mist instead of the fly swatter which I was not beating him with. Believe it or not I do love the dog and my mother that is why I am trying all that I can.

I wasn't having a go at you, it is good that you have taken the dog on and not taken it to a shelter but you do have to understand that 7 years of being spoilt will take a long time to undo :)

Has he been neutered? If he hasn't you might want to consider having this done. It may help tone down the marking and aggression. While your heart is in the right place it's not fair to ask the dog to be confined all day. Perhaps you could invest in a muzzle and if need be a male doggy diaper to help with the other problems so that he can have more freedom. Also what brings about the biting? Is there any specific trigger? You also need to try and train and socialize him with the family, and while he may not enjoy a muzzle it may be the safest way to give him the freedom and socialization he needs.

I am trying the best I can to give to give my mom's dog a good home. We are working on training him. However I cannot let him mark his territory all over my house like he was allowed to do while my mom was sick. I also cannot let him bite the children I watch which has happened twice. I also understand he misses my mother! I have started using water mist instead of the fly swatter which I was not beating him with. Beleive it or not I do love the dog and my mother that is why I am trying all that I can.



I understand and I understand the dog is lost and confused and you are frustrated - I've had rescue dogs with serious problems and the problems seem to go on and on and on. That being said it's the hitting thing that disturbed me.

Something inside me cringes when I see a dog get hit.

And as far as the biting - that is a serious concern. I have seen some very bad dog bites and big financial settlements when there was advance notice that the dog would/could/might bite.

My larger dog (130#) is EXTREMELY protective of me and I know how difficult it is to have my eyes on her all the time. She doesn't challenge anyone and is on the almost timid, laid back side - but if push would ever come to shove there would be a problem.

I don't know if this would work for you - and I've posted it before - but I bought one of those dog playpens that unfolds into a great big circle and when my dogs were puppies I put their kennel inside the playpen and set the playpen up in the kitchen. Puppy wasn't confined to the kennel, could go in and out of the kennel, could roam around inside the pen. The dog I mentioned above stopped crying at night once she had the playpen. Would something like that work for you?

I still use the pen if I have someone working at the house because I can very effectively and easily block off one side of a room so the workmen can be "here" and my dogs can be "there."

My husband died in 2007 and I had a lot of problems with my one dog adjusting - she eventually did but it takes time and patience (a lot of both).

Thank You for your helpful ideas. Yes the dog has been neutered. The bites occurred when the children surprised him while he was sleeping so I now keep the kitchen off limits except for when the kids are sitting at the table.

I have thought about a muzzle and have plans to talk with a vet tech about this option so he can be free during the day. I put him outside when the weather is good, but he gets cold very easily and I live in NY. I also cannot let him loose outside because he is a runner.( I have a large fenced yard but he is so small he can get under the gates and the fencing.

The playpen idea may work but I still think he will whine at night. At this point I am game to try anything because I do want the dog to have a good life.

Thank You again.

Is putting the playpen close to your sleeping area an option? One of my dogs was always okay if she could see or hear me - but I didn't want her keeping me up all night.

Sounds like you are doing all you can (and, yes, older dogs and children are not necessarily a good mix).

On another note - how is your mother? When my husband was in the hospital he DESPERATELY wanted to see "his" dog but they wouldn't allow me to bring her in. Of course, that was a hospital, not a nursing home, but I do think it would have both cheered him up and reassured him. As it was he asked me to make very few promises - one of them was to ALWAYS take care of his dog (which, of course, I would have done, promise or no promise).

This might sound a bit out of line but how old are your children? You could try telling them to just be careful around the dog if it only bites when they surprise it, some dogs just don't like kids in their face when they wake up.

I do have him in the bathroom off my bedoom with a nightlight. I have even tried playing music for him so there is some noise because my mom always had the TV on. Some nights it seemed to work and others not so much.

My mom unfortunately is confined to a wheelchair with limited movement in her right arm. She was a very active woman, this disease has been torture for her. ( and the family to see her go through this that is why I am trying to keep my sanity and the dog). She loves seeing the dog and is always telling me that she is so happy that I took the dog in. I know she misses him terribly but it does cheer her to see him when I go to see her everyweekend. ( she lives in a different city)

As for the kids, Unfortuantely they are kids I watch (daycare) so I can't let him bite them. They are all under the age of 5. Some are too young to understand and 1 has special needs.

I looked up about this breed and unfortunately they do not recommend this dog for children under 14. They also say they are extremely intelligent and will test the limits to get what they want.

Also, another piece of info. My mom got this dog after my dad passed away in 2004. He was a stray that was found wandering. The animal shelter was not sure for how long and could only estimate his age at 3-4 years.

So I know he has a long history of doing what he wants and that I have a long uphill battle.

YOU HIT YOUR MOTHERS DOG WITH A FLYSWATTER? This dog that was your mothers joy, the dog she cared for after your father passed away, and you are now abusing him because of a situation he was forced into? He was yanked away from his mama, he was thrown into a strange house with a bunch of children that he isn't used to. He is TIED UP in the house?

Love your mother enough to take care of her baby, and let her dog have a life! Find a home that actually understands and will care for her the way a loving dog should be cared for. If the new family is kind enough, they will let you come and get your mothers pride and joy, to take him to the nursing home to visit her, as he so obviously misses her. These are just not animals you know. They miss people, they miss their homes, they mourn, they have HEARTS!

I'm sure your mother would just be heartsick to know the way you are abusing this dog! Yes... abusing! This is animal cruelty! Shame on you!

OK Shame on me on me! I didn't beat him. It was a smack like with newspaper.

And if you read any of the other entries, I am trying to make his life a good one.

Maybe you should offer some helpful suggestions instead!

OK Shame on me on me! I didn't beat him. It was a smack like with newspaper.

And if you read any of the other entries, I am trying to make his life a good one.

Maybe you should offer some helpful suggestions instead!




I'm not defending anyone - Starbuck really knows her stuff. My feeling is that this was a knee jerk reaction because there have been so many people posting just outrageous things on the "dog" board lately. You read enough "I only smacked him" posts and you think EVERYBODY is beating their dog!

I will bet that she didn't read through what went on between the first and last posts.

Again - not defending but attempting to explain. (Starbuck, hope I'm not stepping on your toes but I get the feeling that this is exactly what happened.)

OK Shame on me on me! I didn't beat him. It was a smack like with newspaper.

And if you read any of the other entries, I am trying to make his life a good one.

Maybe you should offer some helpful suggestions instead!

You are trying to make his life better by hitting him with things, tying him up, confining him to a bathroom, oh but you had a night light, and a little music for him. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind why this dog is biting! You never, and I mean NEVER hit a dog. Whether it be with a newspaper, flyswatter, your hands... etc. What exactly do you think it is teaching this dog, and what do you think you will accomplish by this method? You are teaching him to be aggressive, that's is exactly what you are teaching him. Have you ever had a dog before? You are teaching him the absolute opposite of the result you are trying to obtain.

What do you think you would do, if you one day someone came into your home, took you away from your mothers lap, put you into a house with screaming children, tied you up, hit you, confined you, and likely screamed at you, and blamed you for not acting the way they expected. Would be a pretty different life wouldn't it? What kind of a life is that?

I'm not saying that the children in your care should not be bitten, but what you are doing is ensuring that they will! I did give you a suggestion! Find a foster home for this dog, where he has a LOVING and caring environment. This is not loving. This is not how a dog should live. They give so much to us, and this is the treatment they get in return, only because they don't understand why they were taken away from the person they loved, and thrown into a house of terror, because that is likely what it feels like to him.

Thank You for trying to understand my situationand for your support. I am really not a bad person. Unfortunately I know what I did was not the best option that is why I asked for help. I don't want to do the wrong thing anymore that is why I have asked for help.

I love the dog, but I have to also protect the kids I watch. What is your opinion on muzzles? I know some dog trainers say to use them if the dog shows aggression, but I'm not sure how I feel about them? It would allow me to let the dog be free more during the day.

Again, thank you.

Okay, first let me say that I did get very emotional when answering, because I had tears rolling down my face when I read this. I have seen dogs die from being literally depressed and just mourning so horribly, by missing someone they spent so much time with. Then when I read that you hit him and confined him, my heart just ached for him. I'm happy he still gets visits with your mom. Just please don't hit him with anything anymore okay? It will make him afraid and aggressive.

No one wants to see the children bitten. I would certainly try a muzzle. There are ones you can get that aren't so confining to the dogs mouth, yet they can't bite. What kind of dog is he? There may be some other training techniques and other methods to use, so that he doesn't miss your mom so much, and so he can adapt to his new environment.

I appologize, I read back and realized you did mention the breed.

Thank You. I am heartsick too. I hate that he is missing my mom. I cry often and pray to my dad for guidance.

He is an American Toy Terrier.

I'm sorry, we did get off on the wrong foot here. I guess you do have a lot to deal with. My condolences for your father, and what you are having to deal with going to the home to see your mother. Parkinsons is a very difficult thing. I'm glad she is happy to see her pup when you take him.

Let me take a few minutes and think of a few other alternatives.

Wonder if there is a senior citizen someplace, no kids, lots of time and patience, who would take the dog in? Dog could still visit the mother. I've certainly fostered dogs under various circumstances. Might be win/win both for dog and senior.

Thank You.

American toy terriers sadly don't make good pets for people with young children, they are too high strung, can't handle the always boisterous movement and noise of kids.

Now, having said that, not all is lost. The dog has to learn to interact nicely with the kids and the kids need to learn doggy 101.

Have you considered training classes? If not, look into it. Also, a muzzle isn't a bad tool if used correctly. The dog should never be forced to wear the muzzle all day long, only when he's interacting with the kids. Hopefully, he'll soon get used to them, and they'll get used to him.

It's a tough situation, I realize that you want to do what's best for the dog, your mom and your household. You need to set some boundaries, become the pack leader in this dogs life and teach him what you expect of him.

Cesar Millans books are a great way to start, not hitting him, ever, is a great way to start, and training classes are a must at this point.

No dog is too old to learn, this particular little guy is a smart breed, but stubborn, I have a beagle so I understand. ;)

Find a trainer in your area, be honest about the behavioural issues you are having and go from there.

Good luck.

Wonder if there is a senior citizen someplace, no kids, lots of time and patience, who would take the dog in? Dog could still visit the mother. I've certainly fostered dogs under various circumstances. Might be win/win both for dog and senior.

I agree Judy. It wouldn't even necessarily have to be full time foster care. Maybe someone that volunteers at a senior center or home, since he is likely more comfortable around seniors. This would not only likely help the dog with his separation anxiety, it would also help the seniors. You see all sorts of programs where volunteers take dogs into nursing homes for therapy for the residents.

Another thought. When the dog (is his name Tippy?) is at home, do you have an article of your Mom's clothing that you could let him lay on? The scent may help him feel close to her. Also, you could let him sit in your lap with that article of clothing, and just let him have quiet time with you before bedtime. It sounds like he is not getting enough of that, and he misses it a lot. This is likely why he is crying so much in the night.

Thank You. I have ordered the Dog Father DVD's and we have started the training techniques with him.

I do allow him with the kids when I can put my full attention on the situation (when my special needs child goes to school). I do repeatedly give the kids instructions on behaving around the dog. I know he is not mean at heart but will strike out at the children if he is spooked. That is why I was wondering if the muzzle would help decrease that scenerio and increase his freedom and well being.

I want to be the pack leader but right now I am lacking the confidence because obviously I have been handling this all wrong.

Do you get the National Geo. Channel? The Dog Whisperer is on 7 days a week if you do. You can grab some pretty good tips from Cesar on there too.

The most important thing to do is to try and stay calm and as confident as you can. They feed off your energy. If you are nervous, they will be too.

Here is a video you can watch right now if you'd like to. It's a long one, so you might have to pause it a few times with the kids around. ;)

Cesar Millan - People Training For Dogs (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6361385827312960989)

He has blankets and pillows I took from my mom's house for him to lay on and his bed.

He does get to snuggle with someone every night here. I have 4 grown children who all love him.. He lays with whomever is sitting watching TV.

I have been taking him for walks now that the weather is improving.

He is very attached to me. When I am not here my children say that he looks for me and lays on the bathroom rug until I come home or they make him come lay with them.

The only thing that bothers me is that when I take him to see my mother he ignores her. He refuses to lick her hands or face anymore like he used to. Is he mad? Or are they 1 master dogs and now he knows I'm his master?

Yes I get the show. Thank You for the video. I will watch it.

It could be that he senses that he will never be with your mother full time again so he's distancing himself. You have become his pack leader, even without trying, that's why he waits for you when you aren't home.

I think there's hope for you and this dog, you just both need to figure each other out. He obviously has attached himself to you, so use that to your advantage.

Dogs are very willing to please their masters, and you're it, so the more time you spend training him, working with him, walking him, etc. etc. the better your relationship will be and the easier it will be to train him.

Remember, this is all new to him. It's as if you went to a new country, you wouldn't know the traditions, the customs, you'd have to be taught, so does he. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen with patience, a kind touch and confidence.

Now go give him a big hug from all of us! :)

Thank You. Actually, I want to take him for a walk before it gets dark and colder out. I really appreciate all the help.

I will give him a hug.

I really got an entirely different take on your story obviously, and I appologize. I guess that is what happens when it's over the computer. I was picturing young children running around screaming and possibly taunting him, and him being sad and frustrated because he was taken away suddenly, and you said wanted to sedate him.

I didn't realise how attached he had gotten to you, and that you have grown children that hold him and play with them. I just pictured this dog tied up and away from human contact. I'm sorry.

How long has he been with you now, and how long did your mother have him? I'm sure he has not forgotten your mother and knows who she is. Maybe it's a bit of nervousness? This is a tough one. I'm not sure why he would ignore her.

This really is a training issue though, as far as your home issue goes. Exercise is definitely important. He needs to drain excess energy, and that will sure help with the rest of the training.

I use a muzzle on my dog when I go out in public and at home for short periods (ex children present). I got her used to it by putting it on her and giving her small pieces of treats while she had it on. Dogs regulate their temperatures by panting so you have to make sure the muzzle is either a basket type or that the mesh is big enough that the dog can pant drink water and eat, but is unable to bite. I don't think my dog would ever bite anyone but there is a dog law that says she has to wear one in public. Also I'm not a dog specialist but I've heard that dogs who are tied up are more aggressive and more likely to bite when given a chance to bite.

Sorry. I tried to keep my info. Short and to the point like the website said. There usually is more to the story as they say.

He was a stray that my mom got from the animal shelter in 2004 and he came to my house multiple times before with her and without her. He has been here now since October.

I understand your initial response and I originally deleted your response while I was crying, but I am very glad that I changed my mind and responded.

Thanks for the info on the muzzle. I may try it just for short periods and see how he does with it.

Yes, I had success doing it gradually. First it was just getting it on, then off right away and a treat. Then putting it on again and giving a treat while its on. I did that several times a day, increase length of time gradually.

Sorry. I tried to keep my info. short and to the point like the website said. There usually is more to the story as they say.

He was a stray that my mom got from the animal shelter in 2004 and he came to my house multiple times before with her and without her. He has been here now since October.

I understand your initial response and I originally deleted your response while I was crying, but I am very glad that I changed my mind and responded.

Please do come back to the site, it's a great place, wonderful caring people.

It's often hard to convey what we are asking with just a few paragraphs, that's why we often ask for more info so we can get a better understanding of the problem.

Starbuck aka Starby is a good friend of mine, we met on this site, talk every day. She's an advocate for animal rights, as am I, we do our best to make sure that all animals are treated humanely so we sometimes get a bit heated. If you read some of the other posts we have to deal with, you'll understand why.

Starby is a wonderful person, has a heart of gold, I'm glad you came back and offered more info, I really hope that it all works out for you and this little dog. What's his name by the way?

It's not hard to misunderstand someone's intentions when it's all written, not face to face.

Keep us updated, let us know how it goes with this little fella, post a picture if you like, we'd love to see him. :)

We went for our walk. It calmed me down. I know I do not want to give up on him. I guess I am as stubborn as he.

I went to the store and bought a muzzle. He let me put it on him and I took it off right away. I will slowly increase his wearing time, but I will not leave it on him all day.

What do you think of doggy diapers?
I saw the outer pants at the store and thought maybe that would be the answer for stopping the marking in the house while we are sleeping, but would allow him his freedom. He doesn't whine when he is free.

I will still supply his crate,
But as his own space rather than his cage.

Keep your fingers crossed.

I appreciate all the help and criticism I received.

Thanks, You have all really helped. I will keep you updated.

Please keep us informed - and, as I said, when my husband died his dog suffered horribly, didn't understand, still looks for him now and then. It's been a long road but she did straighten out and now it's okay.

OOPs! His name is Tippy.

I will try to put a pic on with my kids help. I really am not much of computer person when it gets into that stuff. I actually am very surprised that I figured this site out all by myself.

JudyKayTee Thank you for your sympathetic ear. You kept me from leaving when everyone was getting mad at me. I am sorry about you loss. May God Bless you and keep you in his prayers. I know I will tonight.

Tippy, that's really cute.

As for the doggy diapers, it's been my experience that they don't work. We used them on our poodle because he started having loss of bladder control at 17 years of age. It annoyed him, stressed him out and actually made things worse.

Training is really the best thing. He's marking his territory because your house is still very new to him and you haven't yet shown him what you expect.

You'll have to start from scratch with outdoor training, but, since he was potty trained before, it will be a lot easier.

Take him outside, choose a word like make or potty to let him know what you want him to do. Keep repeating the word until he does his business, then lots of praise, even a treat, go crazy with the praise. Keep doing this every hour while you are home. I'll bet that he'll be okay within a week, maybe even less.

The key to dogs is to be consistent, lots of praise, lots of love. They don't understand our human ways, we have to teach them what's acceptable and what isn't.

Love will also get you far, and it's very obvious that you do love him.

So, big hug to Tippy, don't give up, be consistent and, keep us posted on your progress.

Thanks. He is 99.9% potty trained in the house except for the marking that he does. I have read that this may not be stoppable. The only time he has an accident is if we ignore his asking to go out. We have made great strides in that area. I only need the protection at night if I leave him loose. I always make sure he has done his business before I go to bed.

Some dogs mark because they are insecure and anxious. Consider the drastic changes in his life there is a good chance that this may be the case. If you work with the dog to make him feel secure and happy then you may see an improvement with the marking habit.

Thanks. He is 99.9% potty trained in the house except for the marking that he does. I have read that this may not be stoppable. The only time he has an accident is if we ignore his asking to go out. We have made great strides in that area. I only need the protection at night if I leave him loose. I always make sure he has done his business before I go to bed.

It could be he is also doing this when you go to bed, because your mom could no longer look after him, as maybe she once did, and it was a form of rebellion on his part at nighttime. Try and make sure to bleach and clean everywhere he has marked, so he isn't attracted to that spot again. I'm sure once he realises this is now his home, he won't continue to mark his territory anymore, because he will realize that it is his after all.

Once again good luck, and we are off on a better foot now! :) Ask away! (no more flyswatters right? ;))

You could put the crate next to your bed until he feels more secure in his new home.

To Starbuck - no, I'm rather relieved my dogs DON'T talk and tell me what's on their minds. My larger German Shepherd is VERY vocal (sounds like something out of Star Wars) and all I need is talking!

That and I'm grateful they can't open the refrigerator and prepare their own meals.

Otherwise, I'm good.

Waiting to see a photo of Tippy.

One night does not make a success story, but we all slept last night. The diaper pants keep him covered. He slept comfortably on his blanket on the living room chair.

Hopefully, over time I will not need to use them anymore either.

Thanks again for the help.

Reading your post and I see obviously you are annoyed having to look after a dog that isn't yours. So it's a nuisance but try to be in the dog's position having to be removed from familiar surroundings. Dogs and cats can feel the tension in households. Your annoyance is not unnoticed by the dog, so of course it'll respond by calling out to his former owner for help. He doesn't feel safe and that's why it responded to your kids with bites. He's in fear mode. Being stuck in a cage is no fun to any living thing. It's not his safe sanctuary in that cage.

Try having the cage in a quiet place without loud disturbance from the kids, like a room that they don't go to. Play with the dog around that area. Realize dogs can actually be nice companions and maybe you can enjoy him too like your mom did. Walking the dog can help you begin a bond with him too. Have a regular routine with walking because dogs enjoy that too.

Maybe the dog can't have his mother back, your mom, but maybe you guys can become friends. It just takes patience and since you have kids, you can do it.

Reading your post and I see obviously you are annoyed having to look after a dog that isn't yours. So it's a nuisance but try to be in the dog's position having to be removed from familiar surroundings. Dogs and cats can feel the tension in households. Your annoyance is not unnoticed by the dog, so of course it'll respond by calling out to his former owner for help. He doesn't feel safe and that's why it responded to your kids with bites. He's in fear mode. Being stuck in a cage is no fun to any living thing. It's not his safe sanctuary in that cage.

Try having the cage in a quiet place without loud disturbance from the kids, like a room that they don't go to. Play with the dog around that area. Realize dogs can actually be nice companions and maybe you can enjoy him too like your mom did. Walking the dog can help you begin a bond with him too. Have a regular routine with walking because dogs enjoy that too.

Maybe the dog can't have his mother back, your mom, but maybe you guys can become friends. It just takes patience and since you have kids, you can do it.

Crista, the OP hasn't been back since March.

Crista, the OP hasn't been back since March.

Hi,

Just wanted to update you on Tippy. He (We) are doing fine. He sleeps every night with his doggy pants on a blanket on my living room chair. He is even starting to obey commands. He is a part of our famiy.

That's great to hear Tippytoo and thank you for coming back to update us!