My "roommate " and I are living together ,we started as f w/b now he wants strictly roommates , I miss the kissing ,touching, physical part of our relationship ,I told him this he told me to go find someone else. What am I suppose to do? I can't afford to live out on my own . We still split all of the bills .what am I suppose to do?:(

Does he mean he wants you to move out or is he saying that he wants to end the physical relationship only?

You may have to tough it out until the lease is up. Unless you can find someone to take over your half of the lease (your legal obligation) and then find yourself another roommate. Preferably one you're not attracted to.

Well here it is in a nutshell , I went back home in Oct , to visit my kids ( they are in their 20's )and everything was fine when I left we were f w/b ,but when I came home he announced that if I wanted a physical relationship I was to go find someone else and if I brought them home he would move out , buthe found some one else I would have to move out . I asked him what happen while I was gone he said nothing he is just "too old" for that kind of thing anymore (the guy is 46)
He still gives me a peck on the cheeck when he leaves for work ,
Then yesterday when I told him I missed the hugs , physical part of our "relationship" he started yelling at me to go find someone else if I am not happy . I am just "too old " I started to cry , and asked what I was suppose to do? He said he didn't know but just go to match.com or something.:confused:

Wow Kz, that would blow my mind too. I would ask him straight out what his issue is? Did he meet someone else perhaps?

Yes, when he started yelling at me about , me having to go find someone else ,I did ask him straight out about if he had someone else ,He denies having met anyone or ever sleeping with anyone while I was gone .(I was only gone for 4 days ) I just don't understand . I asked him also after I came back in Oct. if he was just not into me anymore , he said where do you get this stuff . But didn't answer my question . Is this just a girl thing to still be physical after 40. I don't think so but,I am confused this is the first time anyone has ever used this kind of excuse on me!! :confused:

As far as being physical after 40, I too am a female appraching 40 myself, and I am still very much into having sex. I don't think that has anything to do with it. You friend is only 46, still way to young in my opinion to not be in the mood. Unless there is something medically going on, otherwise, I would say he should still be into sex.

Gee Kz, that is a rough situation. It seems like this situation was more than friends with benefits for you; seems like you got your feelings caught up in it. You may need to tell him that he will have to stop with the pecks because it seems to be confusing the situation more. It's understandable to hurt but he is telling you he doesn't want to continue the "relationship" any longer so you will have to let it go.

How much longer do you have on your lease? Perhaps you can find another roommate to sublet so that you can move and separate yourself from the situation. Do you have any other roommate options?

Nikosmom is right, kz. The best thing for you to do is to separate yourself from this situation. He is being unfair and very stand-offish and won't give you a real reason. You don't deserve that.

Okay, the two of you was friends with benefits but he stopped the benefit part and you don't like that.

Well the truth of matter is that he isn't obligating to continue on with this mutal agreement if he don't want to. Sorry that you miss the physical part of the friendship but you can always find someone else to fulfill your needs.

In the mist of it all he doesn't have to be nasty to you but he might be getting ignore by you keep asking him why. Why he don't what to do it anymor, is there someone else, etc. At the end of the day does it really matter?

See these friends with benefit agreements can go downhill and someone can always back out of the deal if they want. It will be their choice and even though you might not want him too you have to respect his decision.

I know it might be hard to just be friends after what your did but again you have an option to even deal with or leave.

Right now you can't afford a place so if you stay continue paying your half of things and take the focus off him. Start going out and having fun. Enjoy your life because you only have one life to live. Sometimes things come to an end so instead of dwelling on it you move on.

Thank you for all your advise ,I will take the hurt and go with it, I will brush myself off and just run as fast as I can . Seems to be the only thing to do . Life is too short.! ;)

Kz this is a really crappy situation to be in. You basically had a relationship if the truth be known. This friends with benefits nonsense is just a guys way of not committing so when he doenst want it anymore he can bail, like he just did. I would be thankful for the fun times that you guys had and just get out. If he isn't going to hold you to any part of the lease, then just go. If he is, then wait it out and once its up say good riddence. Its hard but you can do it. You are never too old to meet someone and fall in love, don't forget that.

Thank God I am not under any lease anymore I can bail like he did, I paid six months and he is paying this six months , we are were spliting all the other bills ,

There you go, I think you have your answer as to what you need to do.

The benefits are over, so its time for a new friend.

Tal is right but somehow I think you want more than a friend.