I ve been seeing a lots of stories about cheaters, heart brokers, self fishing, etc.
Why the heck are girls are doing it so much? Why don't they be honest, and just quit the relationship before they do that? Why?
Im so revolted with that question, that trusting a person is the most important thing for me.

Someone with some idea?

Thanks all.

Morality has gone right out the window.
I think the general consensus is if the guys can do it so can the girls.

Why don't be honest and just quit the relationship before do that?
Because they want their cake and they want it eat it too.The BF is good for something's and the booty call guy is good for some as well.
It is hedonism at its worst.

I'm concluding that the girls always want to have a second option right away, it seems like a step boy, or a spare guy, if the first relationship doesn't work, they can jump for that, sounds like self fishing world.

Pretty sad.

Hey, I been with my fiancé for a little over two years and never cheated. So everybody doesn't cheat.

Just like you read stories about females cheating what about the stories about the males cheating?

Both sexes cheat and only the cheater knows why they cheat, even if the reason only makes sense to them.

Also, it seems like alcohol is the main reason given so maybe some people shouldn't drink or should know how to limit themselve. I mean I drink sometimes and still never cheated.

Hey, I been with my fiance for a little over two years and never cheated. So everybody doesn't cheat.

Just like you read stories about females cheating what about the stories about the males cheating?

Both sexes cheat and only the cheater knows why they cheat, even if the reason only makes sense to them.

Also, it seems like alcohol is the main reason given so maybe some people shouldn't drink or should know how to limit themselve. I mean I drink sometimes and still never cheated.

Makes sense, but my question is about girls cheating, I would like to hear some girls who cheated before and why they did. Just to understand better this wrong way.

Hi Pit,

Ive never cheated, but a friend of mine cheated on her boyfriend back in the day. Her reasons were because he didn't pay her any emotional attention. They would have sex and all but even then he wasn't showing that he cared about her emotionally. So she happened to meet someone who was nice, and ended up falling for him, and eventually slept with him. Granted, she should have broken up with her boyfriend first, but didn't which I thought was wrong. But that was the reason she cheated, in her case.

Doesn't matter my statement stills stand.

I recall in my teen years I dated a guy that cheated on me and his reasons behind it was because he was playing true or dare and he was drinking beer.

So even though girls cheat, boys do too.

Hi Pit,

Ive never cheated, but a friend of mine cheated on her boyfriend back in the day. Her reasons were because he didn't pay her any emotional attention. They would have sex and all but even then he wasn't showing that he cared about her emotionally. So she happened to meet someone who was nice, and ended up falling for him, and eventually slept with him. Granted, she should have broken up with her boyfriend first, but didn't which I thought was wrong. But that was the reason she cheated, in her case.

Why she didn't say that to him? Otherwise cheat on her boyfriend.

Long ago I did cheat, why, because I didn't care about myself or anyone that I was with. I had bad stuff happen to me when I was young and as a result I became promiscuous and callous. I'm not excusing what I did, but it happened, nothing I can do to change it now.

Fast forward to today. I've been happily married for 14 years, my hubby and I have been together for 19 years (half our lives) and I've never cheated on him. What's the difference? I love him.

Does that answer your question?

Long ago I did cheat, why, because I didn't care about myself or anyone that I was with. I had bad stuff happen to me when I was young and as a result I became promiscuous and callous. I'm not excusing what I did, but it happened, nothing I can do to change it now.

Fast forward to today. I've been happily married for 14 years, my hubby and I have been together for 19 years (half our lives) and I've never cheated on him. What's the difference? I love him.

Does that answer your question?

But still unfair, you can't put your problems doing something against another person, who care about you... Don't know...

Why she didnt say that to him? otherwise cheat on her bf.

She tried discussing her issues to her boyfriend, but he didn't see a problem.

It's 50/50. There are just as many male cheaters as female cheaters these days. I imagine the reasons for women to cheat are the same as men's... the feeling of having a "secret" life, something else on the side... I haven't cheated, so I don't know.

She tried discussing her issues to her boyfriend, but he didn't see a problem.

Oh OK... all the time, communication problems...

But still unfair, you can't put your problems doing something against another person, who care about you... Dunno...

I didn't say it was fair, in fact it was very unfair. You're right, I shouldn't have cheated, but I did. I can't go back and change it now, it is what is, or in this case was what it was.

I was sexually abused as a child, raped as a teen, and in some ways I guess I was trying to get even. I also didn't care about myself, much less the guys I dated.

Did they care about me? Maybe some of them did, but not all of them, I can promise you that.

My husband is the first guy that actually did care about me no matter what. I didn't cheat on him because I didn't want to.

So, once a cheater always a cheater isn't accurate. Sometimes people make mistakes, you can either forgive them or let them go, but you can't change them unless they want to change.

It's 50/50. There are just as many male cheaters as female cheaters these days. I imagine the reasons for women to cheat are the same as men's...the feeling of having a "secret" life, something else on the side...I haven't cheated, so I don't know.

Bingo, my ex girlfriend, who I think cheated on me, always asked me about secrets, what's your secrets? Is that because she had secrets on herself?

I didn't say it was fair, in fact it was very unfair. You're right, I shouldn't have cheated, but I did. I can't go back and change it now, it is what is, or in this case was what it was.

I was sexually abused as a child, raped as a teen, and in some ways I guess I was trying to get even. I also didn't care about myself, much less the guys I dated.

Did they care about me? Maybe some of them did, but not all of them, I can promise you that.

My husband is the first guy that actually did care about me no matter what. I didn't cheat on him because I didn't want to.

So, once a cheater always a cheater isn't accurate. Sometimes people make mistakes, you can either forgive them or let them go, but you can't change them unless they want to change.

I understand that happen for some traumas also, what makes you feel secure with your husband now, to don't cheat? What he does to you, to make you feel good?

No, not necessarily. She may be trying to get close to you. Just because she is asking if you have secrets does not mean that she has secrets.

I understand that happen for some traumas also, what makes you feel secure with your husband now, to dont cheat? what he does to you, to make you feel good?

It's not what he does, it's the relationship we have. I respect him, I love him, and I choose not to cheat on him because he's my best friend, lover, father of my children, and that means a lot to me. He and I have been through a lot together and we're still in love, that's not something you just throw away.

I don't see myself as that traumatized little girl and teen anymore, I've gotten help dealing with that part of my life and I realize now that I am worthy of love, not just pain and heartache.

My husband and I are a team, for better or for worse, and those vows were not taken lightly by either one of us.

It's an every day thing. First you have to find the right person, then you have to work on your relationship every single day to make it work. Love isn't always enough. Respect and friendship, common goals, understanding and communication, are the things that hold a relationship together. Sure, it helps if there's love, but if that's all you have, you'll probably fail.

Make sense?

It's 50/50. There are just as many male cheaters as female cheaters these days. I imagine the reasons for women to cheat are the same as men's...the feeling of having a "secret" life, something else on the side...I haven't cheated, so I don't know.


I'd have to look this up, but I'm pretty sure that men still cheat more often than women.

Biologically, women cheat to "hedge their bets." Same idea as in a hedge fund--you diversify your risk. If you have children by several different males, you increase the likelihood of having successful offspring. Women with high-quality mates have less reason to do this, but for some people the grass is always greener...

For men, the reasons are similar... PLUS men have the opportunity to reproduce without investing any time and energy into child rearing. Because so many men reproduce and run, we have deadbeat dad laws that force biological fathers to invest in their children. But these laws are very recent and the tendency to duck out, left over from the last half million years of evolution, is still there.

Now I'm going to duck! I know this isn't the answer you wanted. But you asked...

I'm not advocating any of this and I think people can resist these tendencies, especially if they are with someone whom they love and respect and who makes them feel loved.

It's not what he does, it's the relationship we have. I respect him, I love him, and I choose not to cheat on him because he's my best friend, lover, father of my children, and that means alot to me. He and I have been through alot together and we're still in love, that's not something you just throw away.

I don't see myself as that traumatized little girl and teen anymore, I've gotten help dealing with that part of my life and I realize now that I am worthy of love, not just pain and heartache.

My husband and I are a team, for better or for worse, and those vows were not taken lightly by either one of us.

It's an every day thing. First you have to find the right person, then you have to work on your relationship every single day to make it work. Love isn't always enough. Respect and friendship, common goals, understanding and communication, are the things that hold a relationship together. Sure, it helps if there's love, but if that's all you have, you'll probably fail.

Make sense?

Wow, that's the best response I ever had!
Thanks so much for that.

wow, thats the best response i ever had!
Thanks so much for that.

I'm glad it helped. You're welcome. :)

I'd have to look this up, but I'm pretty sure that men still cheat more often than women.

Biologically, women cheat to "hedge their bets." Same idea as in a hedge fund--you diversify your risk. If you have children by several different males, you increase the likelihood of having successful offspring. Women with high-quality mates have less reason to do this, but for some people the grass is always greener...

For men, the reasons are similar...PLUS men have the opportunity to reproduce without investing any time and energy into child rearing. Because so many men reproduce and run, we have deadbeat dad laws that force biological fathers to invest in their children. But these laws are very recent and the tendency to duck out, left over from the last half million years of evolution, is still there.

Now I'm going to duck! I know this isn't the answer you wanted. But you asked...

I'm not advocating any of this and I think people can resist these tendencies, especially if they are with someone whom they love and respect and who makes them feel loved.

Makes sense too, nice responses from different types of people, it opened my mind a lot.
Thanks for that, and why I didn't have to sign into here before broke up with my girl, I'm so sad for that...

Is the reasons behind this question is only because you suspect someone you was messing with of cheating?

Is the reasons behind this question is only because you suspect someone you was messing with of cheating?

Yes, I suspected about my girl cheating on me, a lots of things too, no respect, fail communication... and sort of of things... She wasn't that into like me. I was more into, than her.

Yes, i suspected about my girl cheating on me, a lots of things too, no respect, fail communication... and sorta of things... She wasnt that into like me. I was more into, than her.

Well then it's time to move on. Like I said, love isn't the only thing that makes a relationship work. Also, you both have to love each other, it's not a one way street.

If she doesn't respect you, you don't communicate well with each other, then this is a dead end. Time to cut your losses and move on to greener pastures.

Not all girls cheat, you just have to find the right one, and you will, just give it time.

Well then it's time to move on. Like I said, love isn't the only thing that makes a relationship work. Also, you both have to love eachother, it's not a one way street.

If she doesn't respect you, you don't communicate well with eachother, then this is a dead end. Time to cut your losses and move on to greener pastures.

Not all girls cheat, you just have to find the right one, and you will, just give it time.

Yes, you are right, but she was the perfect girl to me, and she always said that too, but of course we had a lots of fights to be better and understand each other...
She has many personality problems I think, about lose her mom early for drugs, and I don't know witch more... but, that's time to move on.

Ty

I see a different generation of young women.My sons,22 and 28 have many female friends.Educated ,well bred women who are successful etc, They just play around like it is nothing!

It blows my mind to see this as I have always known men to do this sort of fast dance but now I see women doing it more and more.That friends with benefits thing is really crazy.

I do not think women see playing around as promiscuous,the way we did back in the day.Now it is just a natural thing.

There is a trend toward women just getting their groove on.

I see a different generation of young women.My sons,22 and 28 have many female friends.Educated ,well bred women who are successful etc,.They just play around like it is nothing!

It blows my mind to see this as I have always known men to do this sort of fast dance but now I see women doing it more and more.That friends with benefits thing is really crazy.

I do not think women see playing around as promiscuous,the way we did back in the day.Now it is just a natural thing.

There is a trend toward women just getting their groove on.

I know, but when she asked me to have a serious relationship? Doesn't make sense to me...

SURVEY STATS
— Total participants: 70,288
— Average age:
Men, 43; Women, 38
— Gender: Men, 54%; Women, 46%
— Age range: 18-76+
— Married or remarried: 60%
— Length of relationship: 1 year, 5%; 3-5 years, 15%; 11-20 years, 25%
— Living with partner: 11%
— Dating one person: 13%
— Heterosexual: 94%
— Average number of lifetime sexual partners:
Men, 17; Women, 11

Here are some stats from MSNBC...

SURVEY STATS
— Total participants: 70,288
— Average age:
Men, 43; Women, 38
— Gender: Men, 54%; Women, 46%
— Age range: 18-76+
— Married or remarried: 60%
— Length of relationship: 1 year, 5%; 3-5 years, 15%; 11-20 years, 25%
— Living with partner: 11%
— Dating one person: 13%
— Heterosexual: 94%
— Average number of lifetime sexual partners:
Men, 17; Women, 11

Here are some stats from MSNBC...

Great add, thanks

From my own personal experience, I cheated because my ex-boyfriend was mistreating me. He didn't spend enough time with me, he didn't talk to me as often as I would like, he was never there when I needed him, he didn't put enough effort into our relationship period and he also didn't give me sex. I would ask for it but he always said he was tired or he didn't feel good. He would go out with his friends every weekend and go to clubs and ignore my phone calls all night. He rarely did anything nice for me either such as take me out to dinner or buy me flowers. I put up with this for about seven months, until I just had enough. I ended up cheating on him, physically and emotionally, and I cheated throughout the rest of our relationship. If he treated me right from the beginning, then I would never have cheated in the first place. Now I'm in a relationship where my boyfriend treats me good, and I would never cheat. I don't know what goes on inside other girl's heads, but I know why I cheated, so maybe that will give you some insight as to why some girls cheat.

Bonita--;1615194 He rarely did anything nice for me either such as take me out to dinner or buy me flowers.

Good point...
What's exactly nice to you?

And what makes you cheat before break up? Is that some revenge?
What did you make to try to fix that issues?

He rarely did anything nice for me either such as take me out to dinner or buy me flowers.

good point...
whats exactly nice to you?

Nice is taking me out to dinner once in awhile, buying me flowers or something just to show that he cares, talking to me more often, holding me more, spending more time with me, putting me in front of his friends sometimes instead of always putting them in front of me etc. He never took me out anywhere and if he did it was the movies and I had to pay for myself half of the time. He only bought me gifts on my birthday and valentines day, and I would have loved if he bought me flowers once in awhile just to show that he cared about me. He was always with his friends and he had no time to talk to me, for example I would call him and I would want to talk to him but he would say he's at the mall with his friends and he can't talk. He should have made more time for me instead of always putting his friends first.


and what makes you cheat before break up? Is that some revenge?
What did you make to try to fix that issues?

I cheated before we broke up because I wanted things to work with him, so I stayed hoping that he would eventually change but he didn't. I didn't want to cheat on him and the first couple of times I did it I felt bad but he continued to mistreat me so I did it more and more and began to not care. I asked him to stop mistreating me and I even told him if he didn't stop that I was going to leave him and he promised to change but he never did. Every time I said I was going to leave he would come back to me crying and begging for me to stay and promise that he would change, so I stayed but of course he never changed. I wanted things to work out between us but he wasn't willing to change, and by then I had already cheated an uncountable amount of times and I felt like there was no point in staying in the relationship.

Girls always want to change men! There is the point... If they cant, that's some reason, about age, personality or goals... well... that's the live...

No, not necessarily. She may be trying to get close to you. Just because she is asking if you have secrets does not mean that she has secrets.

So I haven't big secrets, and she never believed me... was a boring questions every night before sleep...