Hi, I have a dilemma. I am 28 and he is 44, and we have been seeing each other for the past 9 months. First of all, it is a unique situation. When I first met him I was a virgin, and he just got out of a two year relationship from hell, and he wasn't in any shape to be involved with any woman. He became fast friends and I told him my dilemma... I wanted to have sex with him,but no string attachment. However, we did the deed and we've been together ever since... Our sex life was great until a couple of weeks ago, and he stopped having sex with me, claiming I was becoming emotionally involved when I knew it was not apart of our deal... Now, I have been everything to this man... I cooked, clean, play mother to a chld that isn't mine, help me in everyway possible--likewise with him, but this is why he stopped. He says I am also too young, too inexperience to be with right now because he needs to get his life order, and for myself to experience life... whatever, ut whenever he wants to spend time or go out too beautiful resorts or vacations, I am the person he calls... I am confused. I know we had a deal in te beginning, but it has chang. I am love him, and he says he loves me---nervously, and he said I am the woman he would love to marry, but I am too young right now. I know he is afraid of gettting hurt, afraid of commiment but I love him. I don't know what to do. Wh do you think he stopped having sex with me? I am pretty, sweet, kind,and loving... he says all that, but uses my ae as a crutch to stop our non-relationshi or what it is. Help me!! Am I being silly or is he simply not that into me as a woman he could grow truly love?

It sounds like you're in a tough situation but if he said he needs to get his life in order, you should let him do just that. It sounds like he jumped into a relationship before he was ready and didn't resolve issues that he had before getting involved with you.

THis is what happens when you have a "friends with benifits" type of relationship. That's what it started as and that's how he still sees it. You however got emotionally involved.

Best to see it for what it is... and move on. Lifes too short.

You got into a situation, KNOWING he wasn't going to be with you...no "strings"...he doesn't want to be with you, he doesn't care if you are "everything to him"...he didn't Ask you to be...he wanted sex, you gave it to him, KNOWING all this...these are the cold, hard facts, sorry. Stop being with the guy, he isn't your boyfriend, and it's likely he never will be. Find a nice guy, and move on.

Since he was your "1st" its was probably a lot more easy for you to fall for him then it is for him. Since he says he needs time to straighten his life and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you right now, I would suggest to STOP cooking & cleaning & taking care of his child. Maybe he will appreciate you more once you are gone & see's all you do for him. But as of now you should leave him alone since there is nothing left. He doesn't want a relationship with you & now he doesn't want to have sex with you. Why stay?

He is being honest with you about being too young(immature)for him, and it is fabulous when people are honest with each other. :)

At this point, anything you expect in the way of commitment is you being a volunteer to being used. You know where he is coming from... face reality and move on, or suffer the consequences, girl. You are setting yourself up for misery if you don't.

Best wishes in the future, :)

I'm amazed that you waited until you were 28 or however old to give yourself to someone and you gave it to him? That fast... 9 months? What was so special about him? He is giving you the out now so you don't take it later. He might want you to go out in the world learn a few tricks and come back. <---you know what I mean, he stated that you wereen't experienced enough. He may very well be doing you a favor, by saying I am not the man for you.