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View Full Version : With a new boyfriend and can't stop thinking of my Ex of 7yrs.


KatiePlce
Mar 17, 2009, 12:12 PM
Here's my story,

I was with my ex for over 6 yrs, got with him online when I was 16 & broke up once I joined the army... I joined the army to get away from him because he was mean to me and I had been with him so long he was all I ever knew... after I joined we kept talking then I met a guy and now this guy is in love with me and I THOUGHT I loved him back as well, but lately my ex has been on my mind and its driving me crazy because when I go out with this new guy it doesn't feel "special" like it did with my ex, I ALWAYS wanted to go out with my ex EVERYWHERE we had so much fun, but I don't feel as excited with my new boyfriend and I do love him but I wish I felt like I did with my ex... I feel so guilty because my current boyfriend is a dream guy he does EVERYTHING for me and loves me like crazy...

A few weeks ago I ended up drinking because I missed him and I ended up calling him after 4months of not talking to my ex and I was crying to him telling him how much I missed his friendship and just missed being with him.. and turns up he was in bed with his new girlfriend and it was awkward for him... I don't know what to do... I just feel so guilty that I can't stop thinking about how different me and him were vs my current boyfriend. Blah

kctiger
Mar 17, 2009, 12:24 PM
Maybe you should take some time off from being a girlfriend and just be single for awhile. You don't have to "love" everyone you date. It is supposed to be fun. No shame in breaking it off with your current boyfriend and just enjoy being by yourself.

heartbroke
Mar 17, 2009, 12:35 PM
And don't drink, all it does it make a person feel worse about a situation

UnluckyDucky
Mar 17, 2009, 01:02 PM
I joined the army to get away from him because he was mean to me and I had been with him so long he was all I ever knew

I think the above says it all right there. What makes you think if you had him back he isn't going to be mean to you again? You broke up with him for a reason. Time tends to fade the bad parts of a relationship almost to the point where you forget the real reason you broke up to begin with - this is natural because we only want to remember the good times. If you're having issues with not being able to stop thinking of your ex, remind yourself WHY you broke up with him.

What you're going through is somewhat normal. Sometimes you just don't have the same chemistry you do with other people and you just either have to stay and deal with it or find someone else. Just remember one thing.. while I'm sure you miss the good times you've had together with your ex, I'm 100% certain you don't miss the bad!

KatiePlce
Mar 17, 2009, 01:14 PM
remind yourself WHY you broke up with him.

I try EVERYDAY but my mind keeps saying that Maaaybe if were just friends again I can still be happy with his friendship again, he was my best friend but we had a hard time in the relationship where we never recovered from... and the big reason I put all the bad times aside is because after 6 yrs of bad times we always got over it & it was forgotten and we were as happy as can be. It was so easy for us both to get over things and the way we were with each other was so much fun & exciting never did I get bored or tired of him in 7yrs of knowing him, when I left to the army, I was away I was going to be active for awhile and we both knew our relationship wouldn't survive so we split. It feels like he's the ONLY one I could never get tired of seeing... I miss the hell out of him.. I try and think of the bad but I forgive so easily and I wish I could call him for another try but I DO want to move on with this new guy because he's so sweet to me, but I just don't care about seeing him as much as I did with my ex:confused:

KatiePlce
Mar 17, 2009, 01:17 PM
and dont drink, all it does it make a person feel worse about a situation

I've started drinking A lot because of the breakup, Ive neever drank this much in my life, when I was with my ex I didn't feel the need too I never cared about drinking.

talaniman
Mar 19, 2009, 08:36 AM
Your just trading one addiction for another, and they have both hurt you. You need a lot of healing, and the time, space, and help to do it. You have 6 years of pain to heal from, and have to learn to love yourself, and stop hurting yourself with the booze.

It takes time, and hard work.